Chad shook his head, lifted their conjoined hands, and pressed them to his throat. “You’re invited to your victims’ homes—”
“This isn’t your home.”
“I’ve felt more at home here than anywhere else. It’s been two months… My bed’s just through there,” he said, gesturing to the door leading to the living room.
Romeo didn’t blink. “What the hell are you suggesting?”
“I can’t let you kill someone else. I can’t take the life of an innocent, but I can let you take the life of mine. Let me be the last. Let me be victim number one.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“No … I think I found it here.”
He pulled Romeo towards the living room. Romeo resisted, rooting himself to the floor.
“You don’t have much time. You want to kill one more, you’ll have to do it before the police come.”
Romeo turned back to the blaze out the window. “You’ve insured I’ll get caught.”
“I have to get justice for your victims and their family, for my team, and everyone in the county. But that doesn’t mean you can’t finish your countdown. You can be free of this suffering before you’re locked away. Let me be the one to free you.”
“I said not you—”
“I fit your pattern, albeit in an odd way, but what about this situation has ever been normal? This is the only right, in something so wrong.”
Romeo’s eyebrows drew together, and he relaxed, allowing Chad to pull him into the living room they’d used as a bedroom, their bedroom. Chad let go of his hand, then eased himself down on the bed before shuffling up so his head was on the pillow. From what he could remember, Romeo’s victims’ heads had always been on the pillows.
Romeo gawped at him, then looked to the window, still with the curtains drawn, but orange glowed around the edges. He looked down at Chad, offering himself up, then nodded. Chad didn’t know whether Romeo was nodding to himself, on nodding to him, but Chad waved him closer.
Romeo didn’t look him in the eye. He dropped down on the bed, knee either side of Chad. Romeo closed his hands around his throat and started to squeeze.
Chad focused on Romeo’s ridiculously handsome face, saw him clenching his jaw as he restricted Chad’s airflow. His green eyes leaked tears, and he pressed his lips together in a grim line. It wasn’t the expression he imagined Romeo had when he strangled. He’d envisioned, glee, power, pleasure, but Romeo trembled, his jaw shaking.
Chad closed his eyes. He wasn’t afraid. It didn’t hurt. It was a different kind of release, and Chad’s body surrendered. One thought surface from his mind, one that made him smile, a true smile that felt alien on his face. It was worth his life if it set Romeo free.
The compression to his throat stopped. Chad opened his eyes to look up at Romeo. He refused to make eye contact with Chad, instead staring at his chin.
“I didn’t mean to kill it.”
Chad frowned. “What?”
A tear dropped from Romeo’s lashes on to Chad’s cheek before rolling off, soaking into their mattress.
“I wanted to do the right thing, turn my back on my messed-up biology, so I let the magpie go, but it wouldn’t leave. It would tap snails on my bedroom window, following me around like a shadow, craving my affection. I’d fucked with its mind, and it didn’t want its freedom anymore.”
Chad closed his hands around Romeo’s wrists. His hands were still splayed out around Chad’s throat, no pressure, just holding.
“At first, I ignored it, but that didn’t work. Then I shouted, but it stayed. So I started throwing stones, but it just skipped out the way, jumped, flew, with the wing I helped fix. I was trying to do a good deed, but it wasn’t letting me.”
Romeo’s voice broke, and he paused, swallowing hard before continuing.
“I threw a rock in anger. It hit the roof, a slate fell, and the magpie didn’t see it coming, but I did. I killed the magpie, but I didn’t want to. Don’t you see, Chad? Even when I tried to do right, it turned out wrong. Even when I cared, the monster in me killed.”
“It was an accident,” Chad whispered.
“Doesn’t matter. I still did it. I can’t do it again. I want to keep you alive more than I want to kill you.”
Romeo snorted, then smiled, one of his true smiles, but his eyes shone with moisture, and a frown folded his brow.
“This, in my own twisted, warped way, is as close to love as I can get.”
Romeo tried to lean back, but Chad curled his fingers around his wrists tighter, trapping him in place.
“Wait,” Chad started, but then he saw someone in the doorway. A man in a long parker jacket, wearing huge glasses. His jaw dropped open as he took in the scene before him. His eyes skimmed the newspapers, and then he looked back at Chad on the floor. To an outsider, it looked as if Romeo was throttling him, but it was the opposite, Chad was clinging on to keep Romeo’s hands in place, his own freedom within reach if only he could convince Romeo to finish what he’d started.
Romeo turned his head, speaking angrily over his shoulder. “Get out.”
The man backed away, rushing out of the house.
“He’ll call the police,” Romeo said.
Chad squeezed Romeo’s wrists. “There’s still time.”
“I can’t hurt you, Chad, I can’t—I won’t do it.”
“But what about me?”
“You? You get out of here; you carry on with your life.”
Chad shook his head. “Don’t you see? I won’t be able to anymore. You’ve changed me… I can’t pick up where I left off like none of this happened. I love you, and I hate that I do, but it doesn’t change it.”
“I’ve manipulated you. I’ve twisted your head—it’s not real.”
“It is. Looking after me was real, listening to me after my fucked-up dreams, cooking in the kitchen with me, doing boring crosswords, telling awful jokes, watching quiz shows and movies—it was all real. Kissing me, touching me, that was real, too, you felt it, too.”
Romeo clenched his jaw, breaking eye contact.
“You had no choice—”
“So, neither did the magpie at first, or Toby, but they could have left us if they wanted to. They couldn’t. They wanted to be with us, like I want to be with you, but I can’t be. I can’t lose you. This is the best option for both of us, so … do it. In our own ways, we’ll both be set free.”
Chad shut his eyes, pressing on the back of Romeo’s hands, encouraging him to clamp down, squeeze, free them both from their torment. Chad saw a shadow approaching behind his eyes. He held his breath, speeding the process on, then gasped when cautious lips touched him.
Romeo kept his hands on Chad’s throat but didn’t strangle. Their lips met in a fierce lock, and their tongues tangled. It was a goodbye kiss one way or another, and Chad gripped onto Romeo’s hair, tugging him closer, ‘til their noses were squished together.
If it was the last time he’d touch, feel, hear, smell, and taste, he wanted to make the most of it. He wanted to focus on the smaller details he would’ve ignored otherwise. He smelled beyond the smoke pouring into the room and picked up Romeo’s bodywash, the aftershave he wore, his natural scent that left his stomach fluttery. He ran his hand through Romeo’s hair, softer at his scalp than at the ends, and it tickled between his fingers. He could’ve drowned in the taste of him, intoxicated. It made him kiss harder, take more of his cocktail into his mouth, savoring the taste as he died. He ignored the sirens, the crackling fire, and focused on the beat of his heart, the sound their lips and tongues made as they pressed in embrace. Even with his eyes shut, Chad still saw the flawless image of Romeo in his head.
The hands didn’t leave his throat, and they didn’t tighten either. Chad waited, but the moment didn’t come. The sensual kiss kept going until the sound of the front door being kicked in had them pulling apart.
“Killing you wouldn’t set me free; it’d keep me trapped in hell forever,” Romeo whispered by Chad
’s ear. Then the house filled with shouts, and Romeo leaned back.
Police officers swarmed the room, hauling Romeo off of Chad. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the officers grappling with Romeo. He was dragged outside, but Chad didn’t turn to see him go, he couldn’t.
“Chad!”
It was Gareth’s voice. The mattress dipped, and then it was Gareth’s face hovering over him, speaking to him, but no words went in. He stared through Gareth’s head to the flaking paint on the ceiling.
“It’s all over now,” Gareth said, “We’ve got him.”
Gareth swiped his thumb against Chad’s cheek, catching the tears, no doubt believing they were ones of relief, not ones of loss. Chad’s wonky heart broke for the second time, and this time, he didn’t think he could force the pieces into something that appeared normal.
Chapter Twenty-Five
A strange numbness took over Chad. Romeo was led away in a police car whilst he was bundled into the back of an ambulance. Both traveled down the dirt road to the farm, but at the crossroads they turned in different directions.
Gareth’s gaze hadn’t left Chad since he’d first burst into the farmhouse. He sat close, spoke in a murmur, and kept reassuring him everything would be okay. Chad didn’t believe him.
“You set the barn on fire?”
Chad nodded. “Yeah.”
“Even held captive by a serial killer, you still kept your wits. You put other detectives to shame.”
Chad didn’t fight off the fussing paramedics. They took his blood pressure, shined flashlights into his pupils and asked him lot of questions. Everything was fine until they drove over a speed bump, and Gareth steadied himself on Chad’s thigh. He hissed, clutching his bad leg—then the next thing he knew, the paramedics were on him, trying to get a good view of his injury.
“That bastard.”
Chad shook his head. “It wasn’t his fault. I fell on a rake—”
“Of course, it was his fault. It’s all his fault.”
“No. He fixed me up. He made me better.”
Gareth opened his mouth to argue, but one glare from a paramedic had him swallowing his words. Instead he sighed, deflating into his chair.
“We’ll get you to the hospital, sort you out. I promise you, Chad, he’ll never get to you again.”
The stinging returned to his eyes. He blinked, trying his best to soothe them, but they burned. Gareth leaned forward and took his hand. “I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner, but we got to you before it was too late, that’s the most important thing.”
“Too late?”
“He had his hands around your throat, couple of minutes later…” Gareth shook his head.
“It was my fault.”
Gareth sighed. “Rushing off to meet a serial killer wasn’t the best idea you’ve ever had—”
“No. I mean the DI’s heart attack.”
“What? How the hell was that your fault?”
Chad closed his eyes. “Neil was selling details to the Canster Times. The constant pressure, the stress—”
“The whole case was stressful, Chad. Not because of the Canster Times, but him, the killer. Not to mention the DI’s diet isn’t exactly the best, and he’s not done a minute of exercise in years”
“Romeo.”
“What?”
“His name’s Romeo.”
“I don’t think a monster like that deserves to be called by his name.”
“His name’s Romeo.”
Gareth looked him up and down, then nodded. “And as for Neil, I suspected he might have had something to do with the leaks when he kept selling stories to the paper. None of us blame you, Chad. All the DI wants is for you to be all right.”
“I’m not all right.”
“I know you’re not, but you’re alive. That’s a start at least.”
The ambulance stopped, the doors swung open, and Gareth helped Chad down.
Gareth squeezed his shoulder. The grip was painful, but Chad didn’t protest. His tense expression but Chad on edge. It was as if he were waiting for him to either collapse or break down in tears. Chad wasn’t going to do either. He felt strangely detached, and obediently followed the paramedic onto the ward. They wanted to run some tests, look at his leg, the bruising around his throat.
Gareth came with him, but he couldn’t sit still. He paced around the small cubicle, getting in the way of the nurses.
Fingers prodded Chad’s wounds, tested his reflexes, pressed his toes, but they weren’t the fingers he wanted. They were cold, clinical, and Chad didn’t like them on his skin. The doctors and nurses didn’t talk to him, but discussed his injuries to each other, as if he wasn’t even there, as if he wouldn’t understand. He heard the word “shock” spoken a few times, and Gareth started telling him everything was going to be okay. He was safe. Not alone.
Every time they said it, a knot in his stomach twisted tighter. It wasn’t going to be okay. He was alone, and away from Romeo, he didn’t feel safe. He sank back into the bed, eyes fixated on the blue curtain hanging around his bed. He’d fallen into one of his messed-up dreams—only this time, it was reality.
****
“I’ll be back soon,” Gareth told him.
Chad shook his head. “Where are you going?”
“I won’t be long, few hours at most.”
“You’re going to the station, aren’t you? You gonna see Romeo.”
Gareth didn’t answer.
“Then I’m coming, too.”
“No,” Gareth said firmly, pushing Chad down. “You need to stay here, let the doctors and nurses do their jobs.”
“I want to go to the station. I want to see him.”
“You’re not well, Chad.”
Chad struggled against the arms pinning him down. “I’m fine.”
“Of course you’re not fine.” Gareth said. “You’ve been held captive by a serial killer for weeks.”
The curtain yanked open, and Neil stepped inside. His gaze skimmed Gareth and Chad struggling with each other. He cleared his throat, and Gareth backed off.
“I’ll wait outside.”
Chad looked at Gareth. “Promise, promise me you’ll wait.”
Gareth scratched the back of his neck. “The chief’s sending a car to come get me.”
“Please, Gareth.”
“You can’t come with me.”
“I need to.”
“No. You need to concentrate on yourself. On getting better.”
“I won’t be able to get better unless I see him.”
“Yeah,” Neil said, nodding. “See the man who did this to you in handcuffs.”
Chad winced.
Neil continued. “I hope he rots behind bars.”
“Probably the only thing we’ll ever agree on,” Gareth said.
“Maybe we’ll get lucky, maybe another inmate will strangle him to death.”
Chad covered his ears. “Shut up.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’ll be outside,” Gareth said. He disappeared behind the curtain, leaving Chad alone with Neil.
“I’ve been going out of my mind with worry—”
“Have you, have you really?”
“Yeah. What did he do to you?”
“You want me to tell you all the details so you can run off and tell your buddy Marc at The Canster Times?”
“Don’t be like that.”
“How am I supposed to be?”
“You’ve been missing for months, in the hands of a serial killer. As bad as you think I am, I’m not him. I’m not that bad.”
“You got that right. You’re a different kind of bad. You betrayed me, the same way I betrayed him.”
“Who?”
“Romeo.”
“How have you betrayed him? He’s a killer, Chad. He’s finally gonna get what he deserves. He’ll be locked away and never get the chance to kill anyone else, to complete his countdown.”
“Why are you even here
?”
“I care about you.” Neil perched on the edge of the bed. “I thought you were dead.”
“You thought I was dead, so you sold stories on me, on us?”
“I didn’t do it for money. I did it for exposure. To get your face out there. To help the public connect with you. I was doing it for you.”
“Don’t talk shit to me. You did it for money.”
“I didn’t.”
“You said we were thinking about having kids.”
Neil shrugged. “Maybe one day in the future we would—”
“No. Absolutely not. What about burying me on our wedding day, hey? We’d broken up.”
“We were on a break.”
“No, we weren’t. I’d ended it.”
“We were still living together. You were still wearing the ring.”
Chad held up his hand, and admired the mark on his finger. The physical mark Romeo had left on him.
“What happened to it?”
“He took it off.”
“Jesus. Looks more like he ripped it off. But it’s no matter, I can get you another.”
“We’re over, Neil. I’d ended it because I found out you were leaking the case to the press. My fiancé betraying me for money, and when you thought I was dead, you did it again. You used me for money.”
“The same way you used me. We are both accustomed to a certain lifestyle—there’s nothing wrong with it. Not all relationships are the same. Not all have to be for love. They can be for security, companionship—”
“I don’t want this relationship anymore. You gave them the picture of Toby,” Chad growled. “That was mine, and you had no right to put that out there.”
“It’s a dog, Chad, just a dog.”
“He isn’t just a dog. You’d never understand.”
Neil sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I was worried I’d never see you again, and I had to think about myself, too, how I was going to survive without you. This is win-win for both of us. You’re still alive, and we can keep our house—we could even do interviews with Marc.”
“Get out.”
“What?”
“I said get the hell out!”
The curtain flew open, and Gareth gripped Neil by his jacket. “He told you to get out. Go home, pack Chad’s stuff, and I’ll be along tonight to collect it, understand?”
One for Sorrow Page 22