by Grace Cooper
“Uh… We got the deal,” I said. “I’m off to Vietnam on Friday.”
Her face melted through shock and joy as she jumped and hugged me. I said those words, but I did not believe them.
CHAPTER 4
The car was a limo. It was the longest car I had ever been in. The space inside felt rather empty as I was all alone when I entered it. It had arrived at four in the morning and an elderly man knocked on my doors, then took my suitcase and led the way. He opened the doors for me, barely saying a word, but smiling nevertheless.
I was offered coffee, but I refused, having had my last good cup of homemade coffee just before the car arrived. It was the hardest thing, though - saying goodbye to my coffee.
I knew we would receive the best comfort there was, but I would trade any five-star hotel for my own cup of black joy in a heartbeat.
The car took me straight to the airport and the driver led the way from there, helped me with the luggage, ensured a quick pass through the security check points and finally saw me board before turning and leaving.
The flight attendant took my boarding pass for a moment, then showed me through the curtains. I lost my breath.
The seats were huge. Big, fat, leather armchairs, two on each side, faced one another. A window was positioned next to each seat, between each pair a foldable table, elegant in design and shape. The lights were dim, most coming from one single window with its shutter open.
I could only see the back of his head, but there was no mistaking that sandy blond hair.
Hunter Green leaned forward and turned his head to face me, half-smile on and icy blue eyes gazing at me, reading all my thoughts. I wondered whether he could tell how much I wanted to run my fingers through his hair.
The corner of his lips twitched as I realized heat was racing into my cheeks. He knew.
“I am sorry for this… Inconvenience.” His voice was smooth like the fine whiskey in his hand. I thought of that sainthood reserved for him in a slightly different angle, seeing him like that. “They told me my plane would not be the best choice for such a long flight.”
Only Hunter Green could come across cute while boasting so shamefully.
A chuckle, a childish giggle, escaped my full, red lips as I swung my hips and moved forward, so that the poor thing does not strain his neck. Along the way, I made a note of his eyes, sliding down my body, observing the way I moved.
It was a wonder I did not trip and fall then. Something about him made me so stupidly giddy.
“May I?” I gestured to the armchair across him and he nodded, with a wider smile. So stupid, Rachel, I thought after asking.
I sat down and looked at him, not quite sure what I was supposed to say. Should I thank him or curse him? A voice inside my head was screaming at me, it was repeating how I did not want this. And truth be told, I did not. I would have much rather stayed in bed for a few more hours, then worked among the people I knew.
And this project… Bringing me along was not a smart move. I could not really contribute in any valuable way. Why bring me then? My job was to make a strategy, his was to implement it. Of all the people he had at his disposal, he chose me.
“You are wondering why I wanted you here.” His words sent chills down my spine. Was it the depth of it that did it to me or the mere idea that he could, no matter how unbelievable it was, read my thoughts?
“An obvious guess,” I said, determined not to let him have it.
He shrugged.
Only then did I truly notice how well built he was. The white shirt was tight around his torso, chest broad and muscled, shoulders even more so. He could be considered slim, but all that he had on his bones were pure muscles, defined and shaped with greatest care, no doubt. His hips were narrow, his legs long and crossed.
“Still,” he said, “I’m right.”
I pursed my lips, slightly intrigued by this little game. “Tell me, then.”
He simply gave me a smile, then raised a shutter and looked out of the window. My eyes, restless as they were whenever Hunter was near, inspected his fine face, clean shaved skin, high cheekbones and thin black eyebrows arching above his eyes. His neck was long and thin and the white shirt had two undone buttons, showing just a glimpse of the smooth tanned skin of his chest.
When he looked at me, I sucked in a breath of air, suddenly remembering I had stopped breathing. My eyes immediately went down where my fingers were touching one another.
“I know this seems odd to you,” he said, with a voice indicating he would not reveal his true reasons any time soon. Still, listening to his voice was rewarding enough. Yet somewhere far below the surface of my feeling, I felt angry at myself for letting him do this to me. I inhaled through my nose, suddenly smelling it. Sharpness edged the scent of his perfume; it was manly but fresh. It made me think of something modern, like a really cool building, or an expensive vacation. He truly was a fine man in every sense. “Not that it is any of my business to rate your work ethic and performance - don’t get me wrong - I found myself feeling rather excited about our project after that meeting. Normally, I would send my best people to do the job…” He smiled again. Damn, that smile made me want to giggle. Instead, I pursed my lips harder.
He leaned forward. “I feel for these children more strongly than I remember feeling for anything in who knows how long. If we really could secure even a slightly better future for them…” He turned and took out some papers out of his briefcase. It was a brown leathery thing that went perfectly with his dark blue suit and light brown belt. He handed me some of the papers, most of which were photos. Children, barefoot, barely clothed, with wiry torsos and abnormally strong arms, yet youthful and eager faces were busy with fishing nets, diving, helping out. “We would change the whole world, Rachel. And our lives.” He extended his empty hand and I returned the heap of papers to him, my fingers brushing lightly against the palm of his hand. How soft it was - it would give me dreams, I knew. He looked into my eyes. “I never felt more worthy of my life.”
I could not remember crying, but when his hand reached toward my cheek and lingered before touching me, I realized that tears had rolled down and that I was so profoundly sad. I moved back before he touched me.
Hunter also moved back and took out a handkerchief from his jacket and handed it to me.
My sadness was lifted soon enough when the airplane started moving and I felt as silly as ever. It was the children I had cried for. And it was the joy that there still were good people in the world that made my eyes well with tears.
CHAPTER 5
We flew into the night.
My seat turned into a nice little bed and I yawned more and more, yet the sleep would not come. It felt wrong to be so comfortable mere hours after seeing those nearly naked boys pulling the ropes out of water instead of learning how to read.
I had seen those pictures before. We all did. Yet when Hunter showed them to me it felt real. We were headed there, to try and make a difference. I could still not shake off the dreaded feeling that for most of those boys from the pictures, it was already too late.
When they start working at such an early age, it seems rewarding. Some of them can even afford to go into the arcades once every few months. They earn for their families and their families praise them.
No matter how awful it sounded, sometimes I thought how much easier it would be to make a change if the labor was forced. But it was not, and there was no point in contemplating it. Those children with their curious eyes and broad smiles despite all the ills of this world, felt like they had a purpose. They did not know what they were missing out on - or if they did, the school was but a distant dream of them.
Countless accounts I had read before the project began, yet my heart was never quite as broken as this day.
All I wanted was to land and go to a proper bed, let my brain rest and do something the next day. Do what? I still had no clue. I expect a lot of talking, negotiating and convincing other people that I knew what I was doing.
Still, with Hunter next to me, I could hardly even think.
He shifted in his seat and exhaled.
I held my breath, trying to be quiet. It was always like me to try and be as quiet as possible, even when no one objected to the minimal sounds I was producing anyway. I truly hated myself sometimes.
“Yu can’t sleep either, huh?” My heart skipped a beat when he spoke. His voice was not softer, more tender, yet still just as deep. He rose and fixed his seat up, then walked over to the mini fridge.
I followed his lead and retracted my seat. A soft blanket was covering my legs and I rubbed my eyes. I could see him well enough with the blinds open and the light of the full moon. He ran a hand through his hair and poured himself a whiskey, then turned to me. “Would you like one?”
I nodded, not sure whether I truly wanted it or not. With this sudden insomnia, perhaps it was a good choice. Or just possibly, it was my first step toward a drinking problem, I thought.
I took a sip when he handed the glass to me. It was, what they called, smooth, even on my inexperienced taste buds.
Hunter sat down and placed his drink on the foldable table beneath the window, the opened rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing slender but strong arms. He caught me looking at him in that stupid way of mine, and chuckled. “I was afraid you would refuse me.” He said it softly, as though he was about to let me in on some secret of his. It would only be fair, as I was certain he knew all of mine.
Refuse him? I never knew I had that option. “I could never refuse such a task,” I said instead.
He simply smiled.
There was truth in what I said. I would like to believe that I would have accepted the journey even if I had known refusal was possible. It made me feel better to think that. “What I am supposed to do is… Another matter completely.”
He shrugged, the white shirt tight around his chest, eyebrows curving as the moonlight hit his cold blue eyes and made them sparkle for half a heartbeat. He looked into my eyes. “It is a great thing we are about to do, Rachel.” He leaned forward, his hands restlessly touching one another, fingertips moving and curling, tangling and untangling. Then he calmed them down. “Your ideas… It gives me confidence to have you by my side, truly.”
I laughed softly at that, letting my gaze drop down to the floor. “I don’t think I am confident at all near you.”
His chuckle was the sweetest sound this world had ever heard. It almost had a child-like quality to it. “Are you star-struck, Rachel?”
He was teasing me. Or at least I was hoping that was the case. “I suppose.” I looked at him. I could not remember moving so close to the edge of my seat, but there I was. My hands were clasped around the glass, mere inches away from his.
He moved another inch closer. “I joke, of course.” His eyes went to our hands, so close yet worlds apart. “I do appreciate you coming along. I will need all your help if there is any chance for it to work.”
And then it happened. I did not know which one of us had done it, but I felt his hand brush against mine. He felt it too, because the next moment his eyes raced up to look at me. His sharp lips slightly open in surprise, awaiting my reaction. I could feel my heart throbbing inside me throat, my head, trying to burst out of my chest. To only imagine a touch could do so much to me… I held my breath and let the corners of my lips rise only so slightly, just enough for him to notice.
The touch never stopped. He let his fingertips linger on the back of my hand, moving smoothly on my soft skin, half an inch up, half an inch down. The sensation sent shivers through my spine, raising the hairs on my neck.
Looking into his eyes, I could almost see a glimmer of warmth. For one brief moment it looked as though he was about to kiss me.
Ding. A red light shone above our heads as the seatbelt sign lit up.
Don’t stop, I wanted to say, but the moment had passed. We were both leaning back into our seats, fastening the seatbelts, avoiding each other’s looks.
I could feel my heart sinking into my chest, then lower and lower it went.
CHAPTER 6
I barely saw Hunter for three days after we had landed. To say I felt useless would be an understatement, but it seemed as though I was not needed in those stages of out project.
The hotel was situated near the center, or at least relatively near it, so I used the free time to get to know the city.
June in Hanoi was both extremely hot and excessively humid. Still, the local people I met along the way assured me the humidity was nothing compared to what would come in the autumn.
Whenever I was able to shut down the part of my brain that screamed at me about how little I was actually doing, I managed to enjoy walking down the streets covered with palm trees, then through the alleys cluttered with food stalls. The most intensive scents filled my nostrils, making me hungry each time a new one emerged from the bunch. Whether they were sweet soups with barbecued meat in them or the traditional broths, I soon started checking myself in the mirror.
Luckily enough, I did not gain any weight from a few excessive meals. My belly was flat, my breasts firm just like my bottom, and my arms slender.
I put on a pair of sweatpants and a bright yellow top as I left the shower, deciding to stay in my room for the evening, fired up the air-conditioning and slacked in front of the TV. The programs were all Vietnamese, of which I could only say hello and thank you, so I left it playing simply as a background noise. Instead, I decided to go through the initial stages of our plan, to make sure I am ready for when the time comes. If it comes…
I ordered some light snack to be brought up, firmly standing by my choice to just take it easy this one night, in hope the rest of this journey would drain the life out of me, and make me feel worth something.
I could not shake off this dreaded feeling of having made a mistake. It looked as though everything was going well. Even Hunter and I… Hunter and I - what a notion. I could not think of him, not now, not here. Thinking of him made me feel worse than I could ever remember feeling.
A knock on the doors returned me from my musings. I jumped up to unlock my room, suddenly feeling hungry as the dinner lay on the other side of the doors. I turned the knob and flung the doors open, then sucked in a breath of air - it was not food that stood on the other side of my doors, but Hunter Green.
A lock of sandy blond hair was had fallen over his left eye, the rest was wavy and combed back in a perfectly messy way he was recognized by. His blue icebergs made me feel the heat in my cheeks as he scanned me in my worst ever attire.
“Mr. Green,” I said, forcing the voice out of my throat.
“Surprised?” He stretched those thin, curved lips of his and showed a set of white teeth.
We stood in silence while my brain slowly started working again. I looked down and up again, then remembered. “Would you like to come in?” I moved to the side to let him pass. He swaggered by me and looked around the room. Then, with a questioning look, he moved to the window where a coffee table and two chairs were placed and sat down.
I closed the doors after him, wondering…
I wanted whatever it was he had to offer me. “Sorry… I look like a mess.”
He waved his hand. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He leaned back in the chair as I sat across the table. His eyes were following me, each of my subtle moves. And I… I could not keep calm. I could not rest. That was the curse of being near him. Even my heart was pounding louder whenever he was close.
I could smell his perfume - the sharp edge, fresh yet manly, but somehow modern.
“Is there a particular reason for your, uh, visit?” I looked at him and realized he was reading my thoughts. “Not that I mind it.” I smiled.
“I wanted to give you heads-up,” he said. “We are leaving tomorrow. It will be a quick trip to the coast, to visit a fishing location. I thought you might like to come along, so my PA added you to the list.”
He never asked me, was my first thought. But he did not need
to. I was there to work and finally work was in my lap. Yet I would be lying if I said I was not a little disappointed. I thought that he…
It doesn’t matter what I thought.
I pressed my knees together, hands folded in my lap. “That’s great. I am looking forward to doing something useful.”
He squinted for a moment and I could swear, my heart nearly burst out of my chest when his eyebrows arched and curved. He looked like a god from the Greek pantheon. He looked like anyone’s sweetest dream.
“Also,” he said, in a slightly softer tone, “I wanted to apologize for…” His eyes met mine. “I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable back on the airplane.”
I knew that my mouth was now open, I just could not remember when it had happened. “Uncomfortable?”
He sighed, almost letting out the tiniest of polite little laughs.
“You did nothing wrong, Hunter.” I paused when I realized that was the first time I had used his first name, instead of the formal Mr. Green. “I… I liked it.”
His frown nearly broke my heart. His whole body shifted away from me. “No.” It was a whisper, yet it rang as loudly as the chime of a thousand bells inside my head. “You wouldn’t like me.”
My head shook as I tried to understand. I could not, so I asked, “What do you mean?”
He hesitated for a moment, letting his head lean forward. He was looking at his polished shoes, his left hand rising to touch his suspender. Slender fingers played with the stretchy suspender as he kept silent for a long while. “If you knew me, Rachel… You would not like me.” He exhaled and waited for another moment. “I have very particular tastes and rarely have I met someone who understood such things.”
“Tell me.” My tongue had slipped and I spoke the words before I knew I wanted to. Why did I say that?
He looked at me suddenly, as if he now saw something that had been invisible to him before. “Do you really want to know?” He waited for another few seconds, making my skin prickle and my fingers jerk. “Because everything would change and I… I don’t want to change this.” He gestured at the space between us, as if there was a relationship that was tangible.