by Kate Kinsley
Instead, I reintroduced myself. “I’m Ronnie. Veronica? Ronnie for short.”
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just…this is a lot, and—”
“Don’t give it another thought,” I said, and gestured for him to follow me to my office. “Come on, let’s get you taken care of Dave? David?” I turned around and grinned at him.
“Dave is fine,” he replied, managing to let a slight smirk pull at his lips. “I’m sorry Samantha!” he called out as he continued to follow me.
She waved him off with a smile. He wasn’t the first frustrated veteran in our midst, and he wouldn’t be the last. It was part of the job of helping people. We weren’t just dog handlers after all. I led him down the hallway to my office and offered him a seat.
“So, uh, Dave. First, let me apologize for yesterday. It’s puppy graduation season but that’s not why I missed your appointment, things have just been crazy, and I’m so sorry you had to wait again today. I won’t make any more excuses, let’s just get right to the point.”
“Okay, well I put a bid in on a house, so as soon as that’s accepted, I’m ready for Sasha, right?”
“As soon as you close on the house, and it’s considered your permanent residence, then she’s all yours. So probably a couple weeks, if I have learned anything about real estate.”
Dave sighed, then groaned and slumped in his chair. I absolutely hated this part of the job. He deserved the dog now, I could tell from the few brief moments we’d been together, and there was simply nothing I could do about it.
“So, it could be weeks before I get her? Even though she’s totally ready?” he asked. “Is there anything we can do?”
This time it was my turn to sigh. “Unfortunately there isn’t. I can’t place any dog into a home that’s not an actual residence, and your RV doesn’t count.” We’d been emailing back and forth for months, and while he clearly thought I was a man, that misunderstanding didn’t change anything else we’d discussed. “But, I do have an idea.”
His blue eyes lifted from staring at his lap and met mine. “What’s that?”
“I can take you to meet her, and her foster family. I know them really well, and they’d be more than happy to let you spend some time with her so you guys can start bonding now.”
Dave’s demeanor changed completely, and he beamed, grinning from ear to ear. “You’d do that for me?”
“I would. Sasha is yours. If you had an actual address, I could get her to you sooner, but that’s just the nature of the situation. But, I’d be happy to go with you to meet her foster parents and you can spend some time with her. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?” I couldn’t help but smile back at him, his boyish charm was wafting over me. “I promise you I will not cancel or reschedule.”
“It’s a date,” he replied and stood up.
It’s not a date. But I sure wish it was.
The next afternoon at around two p.m. I pulled up in front of the address Dave had given me. I offered to drive, since he was driving his RV everywhere like it was some kind of everyday vehicle. I’d suggested he work on getting a normal car or a truck for when he and Sasha needed to do things, and he stared at me like I had two heads, explaining there was more room in it, and it was far safer than anything else he could be driving. He kind of had a point, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
Sasha’s foster home wasn’t too far, but traffic was a little heavy. I4 in central Florida was pretty hit or miss and the only way around it was to really go out of your way, which took just as long as sitting in traffic.
“Should I call you Ronnie? Or Veronica?” he asked during a lull in our idle chit chat.
“You can call me either,” I replied. “Most people call me Ronnie.”
“Then I’ll call you Veronica,” he said quietly as he glanced over in my direction. I couldn’t help but suck in an extra breath. Something about the way my name rolled off his tongue. I wanted to hear him whisper it again. I cleared my throat and swallowed hard, trying to think of a reason why we shouldn’t be flirting, but I didn’t really have one. There were no policies about it. I didn’t work for him, he didn’t work for my organization. If we wanted to see each other, we could. But I was getting way ahead of myself.
We pulled up in front of the farmhouse outside the city and Sasha’s foster mom, Diana walked out the front door and greeted us at the porch.
“Hey there Ronnie!” she shouted.
“Diana! So good to see you!” I jogged over to her and pulled her into a big hug. Diana had been fostering service dogs for us for many years, and her husband had one of his own. She was also known to take in some of my dropouts until I could find them permanent homes. She was basically a doggie saint.
“And you must be David,” Diana greeted him, and pulled him into a surprising hug too. Well, surprising to him, but not me. I knew she was a hugger.
“Oh! Yea, I am. It’s real nice to meet you ma’am,” he said when she finally let him go.
“Well let’s get you out back so you can meet your dog?” Diana suggested, waving us inside.
“Dave, you go with Diana, I’m gonna go check on the puppies.”
“Wait, there’s puppies?” he said, stopping in his tracks.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone loves puppies. “Yes, there’s puppies. I’m gonna go see them so you and Sasha can have some time together. You can meet the puppies too. Don’t worry.”
He looked like he really had to give it some serious thought. Giving up puppy snuggles to meet the dog he’d been waiting for was a tough decision.
He chuckled. “Okay.” Dave started to walk away, then came back and wrapped me in a hug. “Thank you for bringing me here today,” he said quickly and quietly in my ear before running off behind Diana without a glance back in my direction.
The scent of his cologne or aftershave tickled my nose, and stirred up those butterflies I was sure had gone dormant in my belly. I shook it off, and went toward the spare bedroom Diana usually kept the babies in.
After snuggling with eight German Sheppard pups, about six weeks old, I meandered through the house, making my way to the backyard, where I knew Diana and Dave would be. In my career, I’d placed countless dogs with Veterans in need, and I remembered most, if not all of them. But, nothing hit me in the feels like what I saw when I walked up to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard.
I stepped up beside Diana quietly, who was also standing there watching and whispered, “How long have they been like that?”
“At least ten full minutes, maybe more,” she whispered back.
David and Sasha were sitting in the grass, face to face, only Dave had his forehead resting on Sasha’s. All six foot something of him, gently cupping the dogs face, his eyes closed, while he simply existed with her. Sasha sat like a statue, leaning forward just slightly, giving back to Dave exactly what he needed. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Let’s give them some privacy,” I said as I inched my way back to the kitchen, Diana in tow.
“So, he’s a good looking dude, huh?” she blurted out.
“What?” I replied, wide-eyed. Diana and I didn’t really talk about things like that, mostly just dog chatter and gossip from the office, since she knew everyone. “I hadn’t…really noticed.” That wasn’t very convincing, I don’t even belive it myself.
“Uh huh, okay,” Diana said on a laugh. “You should go out with him.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” I was sticking to my pretend story that I was clueless.
“You don’t usually bring people out here to meet their dogs in case things fall through,” she said.
“I won’t let anything fall through, he’s almost ready for Sasha to go home with him,” I replied, avoiding eye contact.
“Mmhmm,” she mumbled.
Just then, Dave came back inside with Sasha at his side, looking like a weight had been lifted. “Hey ladies, I think Sasha likes me.�
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“I think you’re right,” Diana said.
I decided not to tell him that Sasha did exactly what she was trained to do, because it was a little surprising to see them interact in that way so early on in their relationship. “Are you ready to get back on the road?” I asked. I didn’t want to rush him, but Diana’s family would be home from school and work soon, and I wanted to get out of her hair.
“I don’t want to leave without her, but I know I’ll be back for her soon,” Dave replied.
“Yes, you will,” I agreed.
Chapter Five
David
I can’t fully express the connection I had with Sasha. She was without a doubt, meant to be my dog. We must have sat together under that tree for fifteen minutes while I did my meditative breathing my therapist taught me. She looked into my eyes, and lowered her head, and without even thinking about it, I just rested my head on top of hers, and cupped her face in my hands. It was as if she was breathing with me. Maybe even for me. It was wild, and peaceful.
“I’d like to take you to dinner,” I blurted out, having most of the conversation asking Veronica out in my own head.
“What?” she asked, turning my way briefly while she drove.
“A date. I want to take you on a date,” I stated.
“You want to go on a date with me?” she questioned. I don’t know why she was shocked. She’s wicked hot, and then I realized I didn’t even know if she was single. Fuck.
“That is, if you’re single? I probably should’ve asked if you had a husband or something first.” I’m an idiot.
She laughed. “I don’t have a husband…or something,” she added quietly. “I’d, uh, like to have dinner with you.”
“Okay good. Let me show you the house I put a bid on and then let’s go get dinner?” I didn’t want to waste any of the good energy I was feeling.
“You mean right now?”
“Yeah, right now. Do you have other plans?” I asked, smirking at her. I was pretty sure she didn’t.
“What the hell. Sounds good. Where’s this house?”
“It’s right outside of downtown, on Fern Street.”
“Fern Street?”
“Yeah, are you familiar with the neighborhood?” I asked.
“I…uh…yeah. I know the area well,” she replied.
“Okay, awesome, we’ll swing by so you can see where Sasha’s new home will be, then we’ll grab some dinner and get to know each other better.”
“Sounds great,” she replied. But, she didn’t sound great. Something was up. I decided to get to the bottom of it later, and focus on getting to know her more.
“So, tell me a little more about yourself? Have you always lived here?”
She seemed to loosen up over whatever had her wound tight a moment ago, and started to tell me how she came to be with the nonprofit. Veronica definitely didn’t get out much, but she had two dogs of her own, and was hoping to adopt more which I thought was amazing. The fact she was adopting the doggie dropouts was hilarious to me, she was breeding a little motley crew of service dog rejects and how could you not love that about her?
We got to talking so much, I never gave her the rest of the directions, and she pulled up in front of the house and sighed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Well, I’m familiar with this house, because I just put a bid in on it myself yesterday,” she confessed.
“You what?” My heart sank. I wasn’t going to get the house. Or Sasha. I could feel the walls closing in, and my pulse quickened. I closed my eyes, and started to take the deepest breaths I could, a panic attack was immanent, and I didn’t really want to have it front of her, but that ship definitely set sail already.
“Are you okay?” she asked. She sounded like she was calling out to me from a wind tunnel though, like she was there, but not there. Of course she wasn’t there, because I was trapped in my own head. “David!”
It took a few minutes, but I pulled myself out of it, even though my chest was still heaving. Her tiny car felt like a prison and I got out to sit in the grass in front of my shattered dream. Fuck. What am I going to do now?
My head was resting in my hands when I felt her arms wrap around me. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, stroking my hair.
“I’m sorry,” I replied. I felt like such a loser. A pussy. I just asked this woman, who clearly has her shit together, out on a date, then proceeded to have a full body panic attack in her car.
“What the fuck are you sorry for?” she asked, pulling back a bit so I could see her.
“For not being strong enough to let a coincidence roll off my back? For having a mental breakdown when the idea of losing Sasha and this house crept in?” I paused. “For not being the kind of man a woman like you deserves.” There, I said it. I put it out there. It was true. She’d never go out with a guy like me, who couldn’t keep it together.
“What kind of man is that?” she whispered, slowly moving her hands to cup my face as she crouched in front of me.
“The kind of man who has his shit together?” I said it like a question, but meant it to be a statement.
“How boring would that be?” she said as she smiled, pulling my face toward hers, and resting her forehead against mine. “I’d much rather be with a man who has deep emotions, however dark or troubling they may be. Who recognizes them and spends the time and effort it takes to rein them in when they overwhelm him. A man who cares about a future, about a dog…”
“About a girl…” I interjected quietly, pulling us apart so I could look in her eyes. “How the fuck did I find you?”
“Just lucky I guess,” she grinned, and just like that, my panic attack was replaced with desire. The need to put my lips on hers. Immediately. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her lips to mine, tasting her, feeling her give in to my kiss. I gripped her face in my hands, deepening our kiss before I felt her start to pull away. “Come on,” she said as she stood up, holding her hand down to me.
I didn’t need her help getting up, but I took her hand anyway, and pulled her into my arms for an embrace I didn’t realize I needed so much until I had her wrapped up tight to me. Standing at the perfect height, I was able to rest my chin directly on top of her head, keeping her close while she rubbed the small of my back with her soft fingertips. “You feel good,” was all I could say and I was sure I felt her smile against my chest. She squeezed me a little tighter.
“Let’s get something to eat. We’ll figure the rest of this shit out later, okay?” she suggested.
Not ready to let her go just yet, I asked, “Can I kiss you again?”
“I’d be incredibly sad if you didn’t,” she replied.
So, I did. One more, deep and passionate kiss, standing in front of the house that probably wouldn’t be mine, where I probably wouldn’t live with my dog.
We decided to go to a quiet little place on the water. I wanted to take her home with me, but since my home was still technically an RV, and I didn’t think Jax and Viv would particularly appreciate me bringing a woman home, even if it wasn’t just for sex, without any kind of notice. Well, Jax wouldn’t care, but I’d never disrespect Viv like that.
I wasn’t much of a drinker, but we both decided to have a beer, and a quiet had fallen over our table after we’d finished dinner and had some light banter while we ate. I didn’t know what to say, and I suspect she wasn’t sure either. So, I decided to be my authentic self, like the ol therapist told me to and ask the question I wanted the answer to. “So, why did you decide to have dinner with me after all that back at the house?”
“All of what?” she replied casually before taking a sip of her beer.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
“I am,” she said, nodding. “Why are you afraid to say it?”
“Because nothing says sexy like a panic attack in front of a woman you actually like?”
“Is that really what you’re worried about?” she ask
ed more seriously.
I thought about it for a moment. What was I so worried about? “I don’t know.” I stared into her deep sapphire eyes, looking for the answer to her question. I finally settled on an answer. “I don’t want to be broken. At least not to you, not in your eyes. When we first met, before I knew who you were, I had a feeling…I can’t put my finger on it, but I wanted to be more, to you specifically. In that moment, I wanted to be the man who takes care of other people, who doesn’t need to meditate to calm down, who could be a rock for you. Not the other way around.”
She stood up and walked to my side of the booth, sliding in next to me. Using both her hands, she took one of mine and brought it to her lips. She moved one hand to my cheek and whispered, “You’re not broken.”
“I feel like I am sometimes,” I confessed in a whisper, my chest tightening.
“And that’s when me and Sasha will be there. To hold you together,” she replied with a soft smile, caressing my cheek.
“Why would you want to be with someone like me?”
“David, we’ve been corresponding for months. Albeit, you thought I was a dude, and that’s on you, but I’ve gotten to know the real you during that time. Today was just a bump in the road. Life is full of them. I’ve never met anyone like you, someone who embraces their past, their issues, and works their way through them. I meet all kinds of people who are suffering in my job, but I’ve never met a David Beckett.”
“What’s so special about David Beckett?” I asked, feeling a smirk form.
“Well, he’s a guy starting a new life. Full of positivity. Full of warmth. I saw you with Sasha today; how you connected. That’s special. You’re special.”
I pulled her closer, unable to keep my lips off her a second longer. “I am the luckiest man in the world Veronica Murray.” I kissed her softly, tenderly, running my hand through her long hair. “Will you please help me keep my dog, and my girl?”
“You already got the girl. And we’ll get your dog. I have an idea.”