From His Partner to His Prey

by Shay Cole

  Keisha was so confused. She had no clue who saw the signs and reported them to the landlord. It wasn’t like she was spewing hate speech or something. It didn’t make sense. Why was having these signs such a big deal? How could someone see these and be offended? Why was somebody looking so hard at what Keisha was doing? None of it made sense. The signs were in the front window, but the window was primary blocked by a large bush. So, someone would have had to be fairly close to her front door to see the signs.

  Keisha checked her lease and read a clause that vaguely mentioned ‘only approved signs’ can be erected by residents. Keisha felt like she was being targeted at this point. Instead of taking the signs completely down, she moved them to another area in her house. She also put up some holiday signs to see if she would be directed to take those down as well. Nothing was ever said about the holiday signs, but the landlord threatened to evict Keisha if she put up any other signs like ‘BLACK LIVES MATTER’ again. She was furious! She could not believe that he was able to get away with this. Keisha was being treated like a criminal for putting these signs up, meanwhile, the repairs in the unit were still incomplete.

  Keisha started to put in more and more requests for repairs. Every time she did, she was met with a reason why her request could not be fulfilled quickly. The landlord was evidently treating Keisha differently. As contractors came in to finally complete the repairs, they gave Keisha an ear full of information every single visit. They told her how shady the landlords were, how many properties they owned and how they did just enough to patch the problem. They told Keisha they were not supposed to actually fix something unless it couldn’t be patched up well enough to operate. It was torture to hear this. Keisha thought she was moving to a place to help save money and improve her situation, but it was turning out to be one of the worst moves ever.

  The following week, Keisha received three envelopes from Social Security. Two envelopes held checks that totaled just over $6,000 and a letter explaining why she was receiving the checks. According to the letter, Tyler was awarded Social Security disability benefits and these checks were for the back pay that each child was entitled to as a result. The other envelope had a letter explaining why there was no back payment check for Heaven. Her letter stated that they would review her case to see if she was entitled to anything since she was receiving SSI due to her own disability.

  Keisha couldn’t explain how grateful she was to have this blessing. The timing of receiving this money was perfect because she would now be able to provide for herself and her children a hell of a lot better than before. Although the major bills were gone with the bankruptcy, Keisha needed a new vehicle and had some bills that she still had to catch up on. Had she known this lump sum of money would trigger the next wave of events, she would have used it differently. A week after the checks cleared, Keisha received a call from Judy telling her to report what she received to child support enforcement. As a result of this massive payment, Tyler and Keisha would have to undergo a child support review to assess where they stood.

  Keisha thought this review would work in her favor, especially since Tyler was still so deep in arrears inconsistent with payments. The judge was the one with the most control in this situation. He was the deciding factor on how this credit would be applied to the account. There were three options on how to apply the credit. The first option is to apply the credit when the youngest child is about to age out of receiving payments. This option was the most common option. The second option was to apply the credit to the account immediately which would mean no child support payments from Tyler. The third option was to do what the court calls ‘split the baby’. This option was a mix of the first two. If the third option was selected, Tyler would be responsible for paying half of the child support amount each month and the credit would be applied to the other half of the payment.

  Option three seemed like the only logical option for Keisha and that’s what she opted for. When the review was done, Keisha learned that Tyler would receive a full credit on his child support account effective immediately. This meant that he would have the amount of the disability back pay checks deducted from what he was required to pay each month. In short, Tyler wouldn’t have to pay child support until this ‘credit’ was depleted which equated to about 4 years. Keisha was devastated! She felt like the judge ignored the needs of the kids and the struggle Keisha was experiencing to give Tyler yet another break.

  Something just did not sit right with her. Why would the judge give him the credit now? Tyler was remarried and was evidently more stable and secure than Keisha. In her mind, it didn’t make sense! This was the final straw for Keisha! After the hearing was done, Judy told Keisha she could no longer help her unless she rehired her as her attorney. On one hand, it seemed like Murphy’s Law was laying the smack down on Keisha, but on the other hand, she felt like this was her time to stop being a victim and start being a survivor. Keisha went home and closed the doors, got in the shower, and screamed. She cried and screamed for about 5 minutes. She was full of so many emotions and she didn’t know how else to release them in that moment. When she got out of the shower, she felt refreshed and refocused.

  She returned to promoting her business and working towards her goals. She invested in a few business ventures that seemed to be lucrative options at the time. She didn’t completely know how she was going to manage her life, but she knew she was going to make something happen. She took this hit on the chin and used it as motivation. She started spending more money on things for the kids and let them get involved in whatever activities they wanted to participate in. When her lease was up, she took the opportunity to relocate. She believed that the more she could expose her children to, the more opportunities they would have. One of her goals was to make sure that she nor her children would end up as statistics. Keisha wanted them to have more than what she had and more than they would ever need.

  When they moved this time, it was a much better situation. It was the start of the new life they deserved. Keisha and her friend, Tammie, decided to go into business together. They created a branding and marketing company that would produce continual clients, countless income, and franchise opportunities. They started by servicing the needs of the sports team their children were on and it the business took off! Keisha and Tammie were both single mothers who wanted to change the lives of their children. They worked hard and rarely took breaks. They were always looking for ways to improve branding and marketing for their business.

  Within the first 6 months, they had to rent office space to handle all the business they had! For Keisha and Tammie, this was a major accomplishment! A year before, they were both struggling and had no idea how they were going to get ahead…but now, they were both working diligently to create new lives and were focused on changing the narrative they were initially given. To see harvest of their hard work in real life was a beautiful sight. They were proud of what they had achieved, and they looked forward to continuing to grow. The kids were even getting involved in the business. While these were the moments that Keisha longed for, they were actually more than she had ever imagined. Before they knew it, their business was booming! Local and distant business owners were contacting them for their services. Their name was making its way around the city and surrounding areas, and it was amazing! Keisha was extremely proud. She was happy to say that she and Tammie were successful businesswomen. When Keisha felt some of the pressure ease up, she started to give more attention to her mental health as their rising success continued.

  Twelve

  The Hunt Continues

  Mental health was important to Keisha. She knew how it felt to drown in her thoughts instead of swim through them. She never wanted to get to a place like that again. The fact that things were going so well for Keisha and Tammie made it easier to properly care for her mental well-being. Aside from that, the most peaceful feeling in the world was that Keisha no longer needed Tyler. At this point in her life, she was operating a successful business with Tammie and w
orking on publishing more books. She was no longer controlled by Tyler’s decisions. Keisha and Tammie were able to be the type of mothers they longed to be for their children. They did not have to struggle to ‘figure it out’ or ‘barely get by’ anymore.

  Keisha was proud of what she and Tammie built. Keisha desired this moment for so long and she was determined not to allow Tyler to dictate her life. In the midst of Keisha celebrating her accomplishments, she received a letter from child support enforcement. The letter stated it was time for a case review. It went on to say that neither party needed to be present for the review and if they chose not to attend, they would receive the results of the review in the mail. Keisha didn’t sweat it. A few weeks went by, and the child support enforcement office notified both Keisha and Tyler that the amount of support would increase due to the amount of money Tyler was bringing in monthly. This didn’t sit well with Tyler so he requested an appeal hearing.

  The hearing was scheduled six weeks after they were notified. When the time came to go to the hearing, Keisha prepared herself for the worst. She didn’t know what would happen, but she expected Tyler to have some sort of trick up his sleeve. Nevertheless, Keisha went to the hearing alone. She paced the courtroom lobby for roughly 30 minutes waiting for Tyler to show up. When the case was called, she was confused because Tyler was not there. Before she could formulate too many questions, she heard a voice speak.

  “I’m here for Tyler as his representative Your Honor.” Tyler’s lawyer said. “I’ll have my client on the phone during the proceedings if you need to speak with him directly Your Honor.” His lawyer continued.

  A weight was lifted off Keisha’s shoulders, but she couldn’t understand why Tyler needed his lawyer to be there for him. The hearing started and the judge asked Tyler why he felt the new amount was unfair.

  “Well, me and my wife have 5 kids so we can’t afford to pay what the court suggests and still maintain our home.” Tyler said from his lawyer’s phone.

  The judge asked for proof that Tyler was on the birth certificates of all 5 children. His lawyer requested a quick recess to get the documents. Tyler sent over birth certificates and his lawyer gave them to the judge.

  “Well Tyler, there are only four birth certificates in here. Is there a reason why all five were not sent?” The judge asked.

  “Your honor, initially, I was not listed on my first son’s birth certificate Your Honor. That is why we did not include it. A DNA test was done to confirm that he is my son, but we didn’t put my name on the birth certificate cause we weren’t married yet.” Tyler explained.

  Tyler seemed to have muted the phone because he was deathly silent all of a sudden. The judge asked if them having 5 kids is why he wasn’t in attendance. Tyler told the judge that they relocated to Texas, and it was too difficult to get there. The judge asked Tyler about his disability payments and the amount of each one. Tyler gave him the total and it was more than what Keisha made in a month just in disability payments. At this point, Tyler still wasn’t paying child support due to his previous credit, but the increased amount would reduce the credit quickly and the child support payments would have to start back soon.

  This is not what Tyler wanted at all. Although Keisha did not have a lawyer, the child support enforcement agency had a legal representative to assist her. He advised her to request to ‘split the baby’. Keisha took the advice and told the judge when he asked her. She was a little concerned about how this would turn out since it didn’t go so well the last time. The judge considered the amount of children Tyler and Maria had when he raised the new amount Tyler would have to pay. Keisha still felt like Tyler was getting leniency but this time it was different.

  After the hearing, Keisha was understandably annoyed. However, she felt like Tyler was running out of tricks and he couldn’t hurt her or the kids anymore. The only thing he could do was pay what he was told to pay. One thing Keisha learned during the hearing was that Tyler was receiving 100% disability from Veteran Affairs and was not allowed to control his finances without the assistance and guidance of a lawyer. Once he received the 100% disabled veteran status from the VA, Social Security awarded him disability automatically. Since the judge agreed to the ‘split the baby’ option, he ordered Tyler to start making payments of $400 per month starting the following month.

  After a few months of regular support payments, Keisha received a letter in the mail from the Social Security office. The letter stated that Heaven’s supplemental security income would be reduced because she receives money from VA. Immediately Keisha called the social security office to find out what they were referring to. When she spoke to the agent, they told her that the Veteran benefits the children received would impact any additional income, including SSI. Keisha was confused. She had no idea what this agent was talking about. This wasn’t making any sense. Keisha was told that VA and Social Security have connected systems and they report to each other about benefits. Based on what the information the VA gave, Heaven’s SSI payments would be reduced by nearly $100 per month.

  Granted, Keisha was not struggling the way she was in the past, she still did not like the idea of money being taken from Heaven for benefits that she was not receiving. Keisha told the Social Security agent that Heaven does not receive VA benefits. The agent told Keisha to contact VA and get proof because someone was receiving benefits for her. Keisha could not bring herself to stress over more of Tyler’s shenanigans. She just did what she needed to do to prove that Heaven wasn’t receiving the benefits. Keisha called VA and informed the representative of the issue. The representative informed Keisha that Tyler was receiving benefits on behalf of the children and that is why it was reported to Social Security.

  Keisha explained that they are not together, and he is not in the home with his oldest three children that he was receiving benefits for. Since the benefits were not coming directly to Heaven, the representative was able to give Keisha a letter stating that their children do not receive VA benefits. Keisha asked if the benefits could go directly to the children instead of Tyler and she learned that they could, but it would take a lot of work. She was told to file an apportionment request. Keisha submitted the request and received a letter stating that she filled out the wrong form for the request and gave her the correct form number to use. Without hesitation, Keisha completed the correct form and resubmitted.

  Keisha received a response stating that the apportionment was denied, and she could file an appeal…so she did. During the appeal process, Tyler would have an opportunity to explain why the apportionment should be denied just as she had to explain why it should be granted. A few weeks went by, and Keisha received a letter stating the denial is final as Tyler would not be able to sustain if he gives the money to their children. The letter went on to say that if Keisha was still dissatisfied with the decision, she could write to her congressman to get him involved.

  Keisha wrote 3 separate letters to her congressman and only received blanket responses and generic letters in return. The more of a fuss she caused, the more it seemed like she was ignored. At one point, she was told that since Tyler ‘takes care of his children’, he is not required to give them the benefits he receives for them, even the ones that he had no contact with. Every step of the process was so disheartening. It was like she was always three steps behind whatever Tyler was doing. She felt like he had help…like someone knew what to say and what to do all the time. It was one of the hardest things for Keisha to do but she decided to give up in that moment.

  She wanted this to be over so long ago, and it was still dragging on years later. In her mind, no matter what she did, Tyler would always get his way. So, she quit fighting. She gave up and stopped giving energy to Tyler and his wife. She knew that she needed to stay focused on her new life and new goals. Keisha fought so long and so hard to create a better life for her and her children despite what Tyler and Maria had going on. She gave up on understanding how Maria could walk in her home and shake her hand knowing that she’s in
a secret love affair with Tyler. Keisha knew that Maria and Tyler’s oldest son was conceived when Tyler was still married to Keisha. This was the final straw for Keisha. After so many years of dealing with his mess, she finally started living as if Tyler did not exist.

  It was the best decision she made since all of this began. She finally started to live the life she wanted…completely unrestricted and unbothered! She stopped thinking that Tyler could control what she was doing. She saw how important it was to be present with her children. She realized just how much she had survived through. For years Keisha attempted to figure out why…Why did this have to happen to her? Why did she allow this to be her life? Why did it end the way it did? Why did Tyler’s family walk away from the kids?...and so on and so on. She had so many questions with few to no answers. Nevertheless, she made it! She did not succumb to the negative thoughts that seeped into her mind. She did not give up! Most of this journey, Keisha had gone through alone but she vowed that from now on, she would not only speak up but speak out about what she felt and knew to be right.

  Keisha kept writing through all her trials and challenges and started a blog to share her thoughts about random life situations. She wrote about things she experienced and lessons she learned along the way. Her goal was to help others to tell their story and obtain whatever they needed from the process, whether it be healing, resources, or just strength. At that point, Keisha wanted to make a difference. She wanted to stand up for those suffering in silence. She knew what it was like to be alone and did not want that to be that case for others if she could help it. As a result, Keisha decided to start a non-profit organization to help others who may be experiencing the same things she survived.

  She had an idea to create a community to assist domestic violence survivors, recently divorced, former military, and poverty-stricken families. She wanted to give them the tools they needed to adjust to the new world around them with little to no stress about finances, housing, food, education, counseling, or other major necessities. She wanted to be able to provide everything someone would need to transition from one shift in their life to another. She wanted to give the steppingstones to turn survivors into thrivers. She created an acronym for the organization but could not think of what she wanted it to stand for. She called her sister to tell her about the idea. While they were talking, it came to her. It was the perfect name for her non-profit. It represented everything that Keisha wanted to do to help others.