“What the hell are you taking your bunny slippers for? This isn’t summer camp, Mac.” Will breezed into their bedroom before flopping onto her bed and reclining against the pillows. “You look dazed as hell. Do you even know what you’re throwin’ in there?”
“Yes.” No, she really didn’t. In fact, she didn’t remember much of the past two days as she’d sat and worried over how she was going to ask Will for this. Yeah, her sister owed her a favor. And yeah, when it came right down to it, Will would do anything for her. But when Mac shared the why of what, no doubt, would be the five W questions that shot from her sister’s mouth, she knew what she’d get. Suspicion. Worry. Anxiety. Resentment. And some of those would come so fast and so fierce, her sister wouldn’t be able to stop them, or even put a name to them.
But Mac would.
She’d watched Will nurse herself back after the devastation she’d gone through last year when her boyfriend, Finn, left without a word. No phone call. No note. Nothing but an empty trailer on the wrong side of town and a whole lot of told ya so’s to face all on her own.
But Hudson was nothing like Finn Thomas. Mac just hoped her sister would be able to see that.
“Dang, what’s got your panties in a twist?” Will asked, dipping her magazine down enough to peek over the top. “You’re stewin’ on something over there.”
Without sparing her sister a glance, Mac said, “I don’t wear panties. I wear boyshorts, and they’re just fine, thank you very much.” To keep herself busy and stop from just blurting out everything and ruining how she needed to approach this, she spun around and strode to her closet, double-checking that she had everything she wanted from it.
“You’re sure gettin’ an early start on all this.” Will gestured to the boxes on Mac’s bed. “I figured you’d wait until Sunday night to start throwin’ stuff together.”
Mac glanced at Will over her shoulder and bit her lip. This was the best opening she could ask for, and if she really wanted to leave tomorrow, she needed to take it. “Um, yeah…about that…”
Will cocked her head to the side and settled the magazine against her chest. “I hate when you start sentences like that.”
Mac plucked a shirt from the closet and added it to the pile on the bed. She moved her bunny slippers from one box to the other, then to the open suitcase on the floor before nixing them altogether and tossing them back into her closet. All the while avoiding Will’s assessing gaze.
“Mac.”
Blowing out a heavy sigh, Mac dropped her shoulders before shutting their bedroom door to make sure they weren’t overheard. She dragged her feet all the way to Willow’s bed and dropped onto it, sitting crisscross at the end. “Promise to hear me out before you start gettin’ all righteous on me, okay?”
Will shot a glance toward the closed door and then back to her sister, her eyes narrowed. “What the hell did you do?” she hissed.
“Gimme a break, Will. You’re not talkin’ to Nat. I haven’t done anything…yet.”
“Yet.”
“I’m gettin’ to that.”
“Well, get there faster.”
Mac rolled her eyes. “Remember how I took care of our pain-in-the-ass sister so you could hang out with your friends at Movie Night?”
“Yeah…” Will drew out the word as she surveyed Mac.
“Well, I’m cashing in the favor.”
“Already?” Will scrunched her brow. “You usually like to hold those over my head for a while and make me sweat about what you’re gonna have me do. Must want something pretty bad.”
Pretty bad wasn’t even the half of it. For days, Mac had remembered Hudson’s expression as he’d stood in front of her under the bleachers, so close she could feel his breath on her lips. His thumbs had caressed her collarbone, back and forth so softly, and she’d only hoped he hadn’t seen how her body had reacted to the chaste touch.
It hadn’t been the first time he’d ever touched her in a way that made her body sing—hadn’t been the most intimate either. But something had been different the other night than it had been a couple years ago—when he’d touched her a hell of a lot more than chastely. When they’d gotten as close as two people could. When they’d followed through on the pact they’d set when they were preteens sharing their first kiss—that they’d lose their virginity together.
While it could’ve been a recipe for disaster for many friends of the opposite sex, it somehow hadn’t been for them. Sure, her feelings for him had only deepened after the fact, but she’d managed to separate those. Box them up and tuck them away, out of the realm of their friendship.
Those feelings were surging to the surface now. But she swore something had clicked between them the other night. As he’d stared down at her, she’d been sure…so sure…he’d been about to tell her what she’d waited for years to hear.
That he was tired of being just her friend. That he wanted more.
“Hud wants me to go with him to the lake cabin this weekend,” she said.
Will stared at her for long seconds, then shook her head as if to clear it. “Wait…what?”
“He asked me when he dropped me and Nat at home.” She bit her thumbnail and glanced up at her sister. “He was gonna tell me something under the bleachers. Before you interrupted.”
Will narrowed her eyes. “Something like what?”
“I’m not sure, but I think…maybe…” Mac didn’t need to say anything else. Will had been on the receiving end of Mac’s wishes for more for…well, ever.
“And you think Momma and Daddy are just gonna let you go off to the Millers’ lake cabin with a boy?” Will shook her head. “Even if y’all’re best friends, Daddy’ll lose his—”
“Course not. Which is where the favor comes in.” Mac reached out and wrapped her hand around Will’s ankle, gripping it tightly. “We can tell ’em we need to head up to Starkville early. That there’s a special tour for the new freshmen. Or that you don’t think we’ll have enough time to get settled in with only a couple days before classes start. I honestly don’t care what it is, as long as it works.”
The room was silent for long minutes as Mac held her breath and let Will do her Will thing and think everything through.
“You know this is crazy, right?” Will sat up, bringing their faces closer together. “You could be gettin’ all excited and worked up, when all he wants to do is go fishin’. It might be nothing. It’s probably nothing.”
She had a point. On the probability scale, Will’s thinking was more than likely closer to reality than the hundred different scenarios that’d been going through Mac’s mind, all of which equated to the same thing. That Mac might finally get what she’d wanted for so long.
“Maybe,” Mac said, her voice low. She glanced up at her sister, not attempting to conceal the hope shining in her eyes. “But it might be everything.”
Will stared at Mac for long moments, her gaze filled with all those emotions Mac had been so sure she’d let burst out. Instead, she just sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it. I just hope you’re not settin’ yourself up for heartbreak.”
Hudson’s whole day had gone to shit.
He’d planned to spend it poking and prodding Kenna until she finally called in that favor from Will. They were supposed to meet at the lake cabin tomorrow morning, and she still hadn’t told him if she was in or not. Which meant she still hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask her sister for help.
Instead, he’d spent the day at the bakery filling in because the closing shift employee was out with the flu. When his momma had first opened the bakery, there hadn’t been enough income to allow hiring someone to share the load for several years. That meant she’d worked fourteen-plus-hour days all by herself.
Fortunately, those times were long gone because she didn’t have it in her to work those crazy shifts anymore. Since she was at the bakery bright and early by four a.m. every day, she was down for the count by early afternoon. So, despite her protests, he’d sent her home with assurances he coul
d take care of everything on his own.
And everything had gone according to plan. Except, well, his plan.
He rolled to a stop in his driveway and put his truck in park. With a sigh, he dropped his head back to the headrest. All he’d been able to think about the whole day he’d been helping out his family was that this was it. In hardly any time at all, he wouldn’t be here to pick up the slack when they’d need it, and he wouldn’t be for a damn long while. He couldn’t stop the worry creeping in about what would happen the next time they needed him and he wouldn’t—couldn’t—be here. And then the guilt seeped in.
Because leaving was his choice and his alone.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he fished it out to glance at the screen. Kenna. If anyone could pull him out of his mood, it was her. He just hoped she had good news.
“Cuttin’ it kinda close, aren’t ya?” he said instead of answering.
“You think? I figured I had another twelve hours or so before it got down to the wire…” The smile in her voice carried over the line, and he couldn’t help but mirror it.
His shoulders relaxed, the tension in his body easing simply from her voice. “Can I assume since you aren’t swearin’ up a storm, Will agreed to our nefarious plan?”
“You would be correct.”
Hudson blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, unsure which emotion to focus on first. A multitude buzzed inside him, happiness and trepidation and excitement and dread. He’d get two uninterrupted days with his favorite person in the world, but those days came at a cost. One he was going to have to pay sooner rather than later.
He opened his door, stepped down from his truck, and strolled around to the back of his childhood home. “Y’all know when you’re leavin’?”
“I figured we’d head out around eight?”
He nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “I was plannin’ on leavin’ then too, so that sounds good to me.”
Kenna hummed. “To me, it sounds like a race waitin’ to happen.”
He breathed out a laugh. Her competitive streak was unshakable and one of the many reasons he loved her. “You really wanna race the guy who could drive there in his sleep?”
“Mmm…pretty sure I do, yeah.”
With a smile on his face, he climbed the back porch steps, pulled open the unlocked screen door, and stepped into the dimly lit kitchen. “You’re on. But I’ll know if you cheat and leave earlier.”
She gasped. “How dare you. I don’t need to cheat to win, Hudson Miller, and your losing ass should know that. I’ll be wavin’ from the front porch tomorrow when you pull up.”
With that, she hung up, leaving him wanting like she always did. God, he loved her, straight down to his bones. Had loved her for so long, he didn’t remember anything else. And he had no idea how he’d leave her. Being away at State last year had nothing on what was coming, when seeing each other wouldn’t happen a couple times a month—or even a couple times a year.
But he didn’t want to think about what was going to come of this weekend and the hard conversation they were going to have. He just had to focus on the fact that he was going to get a weekend alone with his best friend before leaving, and he hoped that’d be enough to make it right between them.
He pocketed his phone and glanced up, startling when he noticed his momma sitting at the kitchen table a few feet away. She met his eyes, hers red-rimmed and glassy.
“Momma? What’s wrong?”
He glanced around, hoping for a clue as to what the hell had happened while he’d been at the bakery, when something on the table caught his eye. An opened envelope sat in front of her, an unfolded letter atop, and without even looking too closely at it, Hudson knew in his heart exactly what it was.
All damn summer he’d made sure to intercept the mail before his momma’d had a chance to grab it. Just to avoid this very situation. The soul-crushing look in her eyes. The hunch of her shoulders as she curled over the papers. Of course, the one fucking day he couldn’t be home early was the one day something had actually been delivered.
“Momma…”
“I didn’t mean to open your mail. It was an accident,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “I didn’t even glance at who it was addressed to, just went whippin’ through the whole pile like always.” She shook her head and glanced down at the letter. “Can’t say this wasn’t a shock.”
A shock? That was an understatement. He couldn’t imagine what’d gone through her head when she’d read a welcome letter addressed to her son from the army. Especially when she’d specifically begged him to do anything with his life but follow in his daddy’s footsteps. Especially when Hudson had promised her. He’d stood right where he stood now and sworn to her that he wouldn’t enlist.
So much for promises.
“I’m—”
“When were you gonna tell me?” She glanced up at him, her eyes full of confusion and apprehension and…fear. For him. “Please tell me you were at least gonna give me a chance to say goodbye.”
Guilt clawed at his throat, thinking about how different the summer would’ve been if he’d told her at the beginning. The truth was, he hadn’t wanted to. It’d been selfish, and he knew that. But he’d wanted one last summer at home without her worrying eyes and fretting hands fumbling around him. He’d wanted to go off to basic training without all that sitting heavy on his chest.
Selfish fucking asshole.
“Of course I was.” He pulled up a chair next to her and sat, resting his elbows on his knees. “How could you think that?”
She tipped her chin toward the letter. “Says here you’re leavin’ in two weeks, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to assume the worst.” She blew out a deep breath and shook her head, unfolding and refolding the letter over and over again. “I don’t know what I’m more hurt over. That you kept it from me, or that you felt you had to.”
Hudson dropped his head between his shoulders, the weight of her disappointment hanging around his neck like a boulder. He’d known this was coming—that at one point or another, he’d have to have this conversation with her. He just hadn’t planned on it happening so soon. He thought he’d have more time to work up to it. Plan his words and how to soften the blow. But he’d been too wrapped up in figuring out how to tell Kenna—how to break the news to her that he wouldn’t be starting back up at State next week, but instead, shipping out to Fort Benning after she left. Without him.
His family should’ve been his first priority, but, just like always, Kenna had superseded everything.
He lifted his eyes to meet his momma’s. “I’m sorry.” The words weren’t enough. They felt empty and hollow, just like they had after his momma had gotten word of his dad. They hadn’t been able to walk ten feet in town without a chorus of sorries sounding around them.
But it was all he had.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She lifted the letter and fanned it between them. “Delayed enlistment? You’ve been sittin’ on this a lot longer than the summer.”
He nodded, shame wrapping around him like a cloak. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
She huffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Honey, I worry about you drivin’ into town. I’m your momma—that’s what I do.”
“But this is different.”
She tipped her head in agreement. “It is.”
“I tried.” He reached for her hand and cupped it between his, looking at how small it was in comparison. How delicate. But his momma was the strongest person he knew. “I put everything I had into State, but it felt like I was livin’ someone else’s life. And I couldn’t do it anymore. Not even for you.”
She was silent so long, he finally glanced up from their connected hands. She pulled hers from his hold and cupped his face between her palms. “Oh, my sweet boy. You’ve been so good to us since your father passed. Bein’ the man of the house before you even really knew what it meant.”
“I knew.”
“Ah, you’re r
ight. Course you did. Your daddy made sure of that, didn’t he?” A sad smile lifted her lips, and she brushed her thumbs over his cheeks. “I’d keep you anchored to me and this life forever if I could, but that’s not you. Never has been. You have so much of your daddy in you, and the older you get, the more I see it. He’d be so proud of you right now.”
Hudson’s throat tightened, his heart aching over the loss their whole family had suffered years ago. He just prayed he wouldn’t suffer the same fate.
She dipped her head to catch his eyes. “I’m proud of you too. Even though the thought of you enlisting and being in danger every day terrifies me, I’m so, so proud of the man you’ve become.”
He gathered her into his arms, burying his face in her shoulder and breathing in the scent he’d come to equate with comfort.
“You’re leavin’ us?”
Hudson lifted his head and turned toward the hissed accusation.
Lilah stood at the entrance to the kitchen, her hands curled into fists at her sides. “After everything? After Daddy? You know what that’s gonna do to Momma.”
“Now, honey, I’m fine. This is what he wants—”
“What he wants? Selfish bastard!” She spun on her heel and stormed up the stairs before Hudson could even get a word in.
“Delilah Mae, you will not speak like that in my house!” But Lilah’s footsteps already stomped above them as she flew into her room, the door slamming shut behind her.
“That went well.” Hudson turned back to his mom, who met his look with a wry grin.
“Were you anticipating she’d send you off with a basket of muffins? She’s not mad. She’s scared to death.”
“I know. I’ll talk to her.”
She patted his cheek. “She’ll come around before you leave. I hope. Girl’s stubborn as a mule.” She sat back and folded the letter before placing it back into the envelope. “Speaking of stubborn, how’d Mac take it?”
He hadn’t been prepared for the question and couldn’t even attempt to hide his wince. He figured she’d take it about as well as his sister.
Pact with a Heartbreaker: A Best Friends to Lovers Summer Romance (Havenbrook Book 3) Page 3