Blank Canvas

by Coopmans, Kathy

  “Zeke?” My voice is shaky. “How long has this organization been around?”

  “Five years.” He doesn’t look me in the eye when he speaks.

  Those two words answer my question. There’s a reason or even more, a person, behind this charity who inspired Zeke to found it.

  “Okay.” I sit up tall with fingers poised on the keyboard. “I’ll begin planning today with researching caterers and a band.”

  Zeke smiles easily, relaxing back in the barstool.

  While me, I’m wondering what’s the driving force behind this charity.

  16

  Zeke

  “I don’t give a flying fuck if you want to try and talk to her. You should know the scum that trolls your streets and beats the hell out of women regardless if they are homeless or not.” I lower my voice, push the door open to the doctors’ lounge, and look around for something to punch.

  It’s awfully funny to me that it took a phone call to the Chief of Police for him to admit he wants to talk to Amelia about who attacked her. They drove me Goddamn nuts when it first happened. Then vanished as if she meant nothing. Amelia hasn’t even told me if she knows who did this. Hell, we haven’t even talked about it. I know her. She won’t tell anyone.

  Amelia is trying so hard to put her past behind her, and here this fucker wants to talk to her. Fuck, no.

  “I’m not shoving this off to the side, doctor. Do you have any idea how many homeless people are beaten on my streets?” he says with authority.

  “As a matter of fact, I do. I stitch up more of them than you think. Do your Goddamn job and find them. Once you do, give me a call, or I swear to God I’ll be up your ass until you do.” I hang up, toss my phone on the bed, and run my hands down my face. I’m pissed. I want them found, so they can disappear. They deserve to pay as much as her family does.

  I’d love to pick up the phone and call Saxon or Katch. I need them focused on finding out who her family is. The cops need to do their job. Stupid fucks.

  I will myself to calm down before I have to call Amelia to tell her I won’t be home tonight. The ER is busy as hell. Even though the weather is cooling off, it doesn’t stop the flu season from hitting full force.

  I take a seat on the lumpy bed. My mind swaying back to this morning.

  I was such an asshole to her. I knew I would be the minute I climbed out of bed. I heard her downstairs running on my treadmill, so I took the coward’s way out. Went for a run outside to clear my head with every intention of coming back to tell her how I felt. The guilt I tried to push away ate at me with every pounding step I took.

  By the time I got home and saw her making breakfast in the kitchen, I knew I couldn’t. She set out to please me. To do something nice, and if I dumped that on her, I was terrified she would recoil back into herself.

  Then what does she do? She shocks the ever-loving fuck out of me by spilling her self-doubt out of her. Thinking she had done something wrong when everything she was doing was right.

  I told her how I felt, and even though knowing with everything inside of me it’s more forbidden than anything I’ve done in my life, it was the right thing to do. For her and for me. The problem is, Amelia is young; she has no clue what direction her life is going. She just got out of rehab, and I want to believe she feels something for me. That she wants to get to know me. I just don’t know if she understands the meaning of it. She’s not dumb by any means. She simply hasn’t been given a chance to live.

  “Hey. I thought I saw you sneak in here.”

  Jesus fucking Christ. Marissa is relentless.

  “I thought I made it clear to you that what we had going on was done.” I stand.

  I don’t trust the bitch as far as I can spit. I want her out of here.

  “I didn’t come in here for that. I’ve recently started dating someone. He’s a few years younger than me, but who cares, right? I mean, age is just a number.”

  I stare blankly at her. Not really seeing her at all. It’s her words that hit me straight in the chest. I don’t mean the ones about her dating. I couldn’t care less. It keeps her away from me. It’s the ones about age and numbers. It takes me back to what I was thinking about. It doesn’t matter how young Amelia is or that she has no experience with dating or the benefits that come with it. I can guide her, teach us both things we can learn together.

  “That’s great. I hope he treats you well. You deserve it.”

  I mean what I’m saying. Even if Marissa is a bitch who has dollar signs in her eyes. She can take them elsewhere. Sink her claws into an idiot who will provide her with what she needs. Yep, makes me a dick for even thinking this way, since I used her when I needed her, but since that time in my life, things have become clearer. Crystal clear.

  “I came in here to ask you to put me on the guest list for that charity event you're doing. The guy I’m seeing is in his final year of medical school. Pediatric surgeon. He would really love to come. I thought I would surprise him.”

  “Of course. Jot down your address and hand it to Yvonne tomorrow. I’ll make sure to get you one.”

  Yvonne is the temp the hospital brought in for me a few days ago. I haven’t had time to talk to her much. She’s doing a remarkable job. I could hire her on, but I’m hoping somewhere down the line Amelia finds the strength to take the position.

  “Thanks. I’ll let you get some rest while it’s somewhat calm out here.”

  I don’t reply. I simply wait for her to turn and leave while shaking my head.

  “Money is not going to buy you happiness, you miserable bitch,” I mumble to myself as she leaves.

  It’s cruel and harsh, but that’s what this environment does to you. I’ve experienced it year after year seeing women just like her cling to the hope of dollar signs. The sick part is, most of them don’t care if the doctor is married or not.

  Quickly, I dial Amelia’s number. Her giving it to me was just another huge step in our progression. I want to protect her, even go as far as calling up Ronan to thank him for giving her a phone and Renee and Zoe for taking her shopping. It’s not my place to do any of those things. It’s just the way I am. Someday, I hope I can thank them for taking her under their wing and showing her there really are good people in this world.

  “Hello.” Her one word is coming out a little frazzled.

  “Hey, beautiful.” God, it feels good to call her that. It’s true. She is

  My mood lightens in an instant when I hear Amelia’s voice on the other end of the line. I’m shocked that I don’t even cringe at my brazen greeting. It’s time to go after what I want and to ignore the voice deep inside of me screaming this is all wrong. The only important thing is, I know what my intentions were in the beginning, but now all of that has changed. I still won’t push her. Not ever. I’ll wait.

  “Did you forget to punch my name in like I told you to?” I ask.

  I don’t have it in me to tell her about my sister. Not yet. She has too much to think about already. Her top priority is her healing, and I’ll be damned if I have her thinking I took her in as a charity case like she suspected in the beginning, or for her to think I only want her to ease my pain from the loss I’ll never get over. I want Amelia to know I want her for her and nothing else.

  “No. I’m still trying to figure out this Mac. I’m getting there, though. I at least have the invite drafted up. Now I’m just finishing up the design. Are you sure you don’t want the invites sent here? I can address them all for you.”

  Like hell, she can. The mayor's office can do that shit. She has enough to do. Like realizing her feelings for me.

  “No. We’ve divided the work up. You could shoot me a copy of the invite. If there are any changes to be made, I can let you know. If not, I’ll forward it on to them. As far as the Mac goes, you could play around with it tonight. It will come to you, Amelia.”

  The same way you’ll come to me.

  “Is this the part where you say, “Honey, I won’t be home until late, so do
n’t wait up?”

  She giggles. A far cry from the woman I hated to leave this morning, and Christ is her laugh contagious. I massage my stiff neck and laugh.

  “Something like that. Are you going to be okay? This has to be a lot for you take in, Amelia. This morning was pretty intense, not to mention you had to put up with my brother last night.”

  “I’m doing well, Zeke. I promise. If I weren’t, I would call you or Ronan. I won’t allow myself to slip; and let’s be honest, Saxon was a treat, you know, so charming and all.”

  My hand stills on my neck. The stiffness turns tight and shoots down my spine. Fuck.

  “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

  She sighs, while I sit here pinching the bridge of my nose thinking I’ve unintentionally hurt her again.

  “Zeke. We're talking. Communicating. I like it. You are the first person in my life who I can tell anything to and not feel judgmental eyes staring back at me. I’ll be okay. Besides, I have to get used to your schedule anyway. I’ll call you or Brick if I have issues. I promise.”

  “Brick?” I question.

  I never call him by his club name, because he’ll always be Saxon to me.

  “Yeah. He gave me his number while you were making dinner and the 411 on how he joined a motorcycle club. Not going to lie; he may have you in the badass department.”

  Even in my exhausted state, a deep chuckle escapes “Right. I may have to pull out some more of badass for you, then.”

  Shit, I thought I was listening to everything the two of them talked about. I guess I wasn’t. I’m sure seeing her sit there looking the way she did, smelling like flowers and blossoming with every word she spoke had nothing to do with it.

  “Go save lives, Zeke. I’ll see you whenever you get home.” she warns, or was that a promise? Either one, I hang up, fall back on the bed, and sleep for several hours.

  * * *

  “Amelia,” I holler, toss my keys on the table next to the door, and set out to find her. She’s only been here for two days, and it feels like weeks since I’ve seen her. Love will do that to a person.

  “What the fuck?” I stop, press my hand to the wall, and shake my head as if rocks are tumbling around in it. Love. I mean, shit. It could be. I’ve had plenty of time to fall, that’s for damn sure. But love?

  I steady my pounding heart, walk down to her room, and peek in. “Amelia, are you in here?”

  Nothing. Her bed is made, laptop sitting open and papers all over the place.

  “Amelia!” I call out louder. Head back down the hall to see if she’s in the basement. Panic quickly setting in. Then, when I spot her, I freeze in place. If I thought I was struck dumb a few seconds ago over the word love, then I’m struck motherfucking stupid by the sight outside the sliding glass doors.

  “Holy shit.”

  Amelia is applying sunscreen to her skin. Her ass is hanging out of the skimpiest black bikini bottoms I’ve seen.

  “Turn around, baby. Let me see all of you,” I whisper, my dick a steel rod inside of my dress pants.

  “Shit.” I take that back.

  My dick is now harder than it’s been in my entire life. She may be young, but she’s got a body that even a blind man would sense as flawless. Her cleavage is spilling out. All that hair is piled on top of her head, and Goddamn, my hands are hurting to grip a handful of it. To tilt her head back and allow my tongue to finally get a grip on the craving it’s had for her. I want to lick from the middle of that cleavage all the way up, across her collarbone and back again.

  It’s as if Amelia senses me staring at her through the glass wall. Does she sense all the wonderful ways I want to love her body? I give her a quick wave and then hold up one finger letting her know I’ll be out in a bit. A typical night after work, I’d rather do nothing else than grab a cold beer and veg on the couch watching ESPN, but Amelia just blew my routine out of the water. I race to my room and find a pair of swim trunks. They’re nestled deep back in my drawer. Just because I have a pool that I pay to have kept up doesn’t mean I use it.

  I grab two bottles of water from the fridge then swivel back and grab a few beers for me. If this is going to work, I need to be me and not shelter Amelia from anything. I’m not sure where she’s going to stand on alcohol consumption for herself. I know it can be a slippery slope for addicts.

  The sound of the sliding glass door opening causes Amelia to turn to me. She shades her eyes with a hand even though she has some sexy-as-fuck sunglasses on.

  “Doctor.” She nods. Either she’s been in the sun for a while, or she’s turning from pink to red right before my eyes. I’m opting for number two.

  “Bluebird.” I smile widely back at her.

  “Hope you don’t mind…”

  I stride to her in a long gait before she can finish that thought. There’s no more room for apologies and walking on shards of glass. It’s time to be us. Talking, for the time being, can jump in the pool and drown.

  My arm wraps low around her back. Her warm skin from the sun burns mine up. I press the cold bottles of water laced in my fingers into her back. It causes Amelia to press further into me. Her perfect tits are pressing into my chest.

  Something inside of me frays, breaking any last remnants of self-control. Amelia plants her palms on my chest smiling up at me.

  “Rough shift, doctor?”

  “Was.” I tilt my face to hers, closing the distance. “I’m going to kiss you, Amelia. Once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. This is your warning.”

  “Okay.” She nods.

  “This was never my intention, but there’s something between us.”

  “I agree.” Thank you, God.

  “All you have to do is tell me to stop. Do you get me?” God, she feels good in my arms.

  “I will.” She nods, causing some of her stray blond locks to brush my chest. “But don’t think that will be happening. I’ve dreamed of you, Zeke.” Fuck.

  Those words unleash all my desires, wants, and the built-up passion that’s been brewing inside of me. The bottles of water tumble to the ground while I keep the neck of the beer bottles clutched between my fingers in the other hand. I don’t trust myself with two open hands at this moment even with her permission. I need to grip onto some self-control even though I want nothing more than her legs spread wide and my tongue tasting her.

  “This has been fast and unexpected for both of us. We need to be open and communicate about this. Your health will always be my number one priority.”

  I internally growl at the thought before our lips are attacking each other’s. My knees go weak from desire as she kisses the hell out of me. Our tongues tangle and explore each other’s mouths in unison, soaking up each other’s taste. Amelia presses her whole self into me, allowing me to hold her the way I’ve wanted for so damn long.

  It kills me to break the kiss, but I do and set the bottles on the deck table then tug her down onto the lounge chair on top of me. I want her to be on top guiding the pace. I’ll never cover her body, trapping her in, until she asks for it.

  The perks of having Amelia straddle my hips while her legs tremble in anticipation has me reaching up with my finger to trace her lip. Her tongue darts out licking my finger. I groan. My cock is straining not to dry hump the hell out of her. I lean in, my mouth an inch from meeting hers; instead of taking her mouth, I place my finger in my own, sucking off her taste.

  “I can’t wait to taste all of you, Amelia. The things I want to do with you and the way I want to make you feel are all that matters to me. You deserve to be loved, Bluebird.”

  Her eyes go wide. She surprises me by grinding down onto my erection then reaching behind her, undoing her top. It tumbles down between us. My eyebrows shoot straight up, taking in her creamy skin that’s the model of perfection. I don’t know which breast I want in my mouth first. They are both a handful with pink nipples begging for my tongue. She’s stunning.

  “Zeke, I’ve never bee
n in this position before.”

  I tilt my head in question.

  “I’ve always been attacked or pressed down into a mattress face first.”

  I press my finger over her lips, stopping her admission. “Not here, Bluebird. That doesn’t belong here. What we have is nothing like what you’ve experienced before. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. This is the way pleasing each other is supposed to be.”

  I wrap my arms around her back, bringing her chest down to mine. “It’s just us and the future here, and even though I may seem like I’m the one in control, I’m not. You are. Always remember that.”

  Our lips touch once again. Her hips finding a rhythm on my clothed, hard cock. I growl into her mouth fighting to not explode in my shorts like a fucking puberty-ridden teenage boy. My hands hunger to cup her breasts, rolling her pebbled nipples between my fingers, but instead, I run my palms up and down her back until I’m cupping her ass. Grinding her harder against me. She gasps, and I become lost in her.

  We kiss for so long, hearts pounding, bodies rocking, and as the seconds pass, it turns more passionate and powerful. When Amelia pulls back, her perfect lips are swollen and bruised. I lean forward, magnetized to her perfect tits, taking one of them in my mouth. My teeth grazing down on her nipple. Amelia throws her head back moaning loudly. That moan is all I can take. I’ve fallen for her. My admission is clear as the current sparks flowing through my veins. I’m in love with Amelia Moore.

  17

  Amelia

  Getting high has no power over me after feeling the sensation coursing through my body right now. And it’s all because of the man underneath me. He’s given me everything, and now he’s allowing me the power to feel once again. I don’t feel dirty for the release. I feel desperate. Not because I need it, but with each tendril of passion he’s bringing to the surface from somewhere deep inside of my bones. It’s exhilarating, not addicting. It’s overriding every pill-induced high I’ve experienced, and I don’t want him ever to stop making me feel this way.