by Laurie Ames
“Well, she never said no, which is why I’m still pursuing her.”
“But she never said yes, either?”
“Way to rub it in Carrie.”
“I think it’s great that there is at least one female out there who is immune to your charms.”
“She’s not entirely immune…if you know what I mean.”
“Oooooh, do tell!”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells.”
“Oh! So there’s been a kiss.”
“Carrie, a gentleman never kisses and tells!”
“Cray, baby, I wouldn’t exactly peg you as being a gentleman.”
“Ouch! That hurt, Carrie.”
“I’m only calling it as I see it. But let’s get back to the album. I have listened to it and gentleman or no gentleman, you are one talented son-of-a-bitch.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It is a compliment. The songs in this album still have the trademark King of the Damned rawness and edginess but there is also something else to them. A sweetness, a softness…a mellifluousness.”
“A melli-what! Anyways, you’re not the first person to tell me these songs are different. Believe me, it wasn’t intentional. But I guess I can’t hide what’s churning inside me. It always comes out in the songs.”
“Let’s talk about the songs.”
“Yes, lets.”
“How long did it take you to put together the 12 songs in this album?”
“Would you believe 2 weeks?”
“2 weeks!”
“Actually, it was more like 10 days. I’m lucky to have a studio in my living space so I literally spent my days and nights in the studio, writing and recording. These heavy emotions and feelings were bubbling inside me. They were getting toxic and the way I deal with toxic emotions is I write songs about them. The 12 songs were literally pouring out of me. I needed to get them out of my system, otherwise I would have gone insane.”
“You mean, more insane than usual.”
“Don’t believe everything my therapists tell the tabloids.”
“The lyrics are insane, in a good way of course. They sound very personal, as though we are eavesdropping on a private conversation or a secretive love letter.”
“Well, the songs are my way of communicating to her. Any guy who has ever had to deal with a girl that is playing hard to get can relate to the songs. And hopefully, the songs can be used by guys all over the world who want to get through to the girl they love but can’t find the right words.
“Cray, dear, did you just admit, on live radio, that you are in love?”
“No comment, Carrie.”
“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Rock Star. Anyway, back to the album. The title of the album and the title of the first song is Iddy. Is that the name of this mysterious girl who has stolen your heart?”
“Her nickname.”
“And is it safe to assume that this girl is not your regular on-and-off, the beautiful and curvaceous movie star, Sarah Poussey.”
“You do the math Carrie.”
“I’m trying to do the math and so many things don’t add up! Why a whole album dedicated to this mysterious girl? Why doesn’t this foolish girl –“
“Hey!”
“Ooops! My apologies. Why doesn’t this stubborn girl – “
“That’s better.”
“– just say yes to one of the biggest, hottest, most desirable men in the world?”
“Well, the third song in the album will give you a few clues as to why she is hesitating.”
“The third song in the album is called Blast from the Past. We will play it for you guys a little bit later in the show and see if our combined mental efforts can decipher the clues in the song. Maybe together we can solve this very interesting mystery. If you have just joined us, you are listening to the Carrie on Rockin’ show only on 105.9 ROCK-FM, with me Carrie and the one and only Cray of King of the Damned. Cray, you know we have to talk about the hair.”
“Ah. The hair.”
“Yes, the hair. I’m going to read to you some of the comments posted regarding one particular post featured in a blog called “Cray’s Hair.”
“I didn’t even know there was a blog called Cray’s Hair!”
“Honey, it’s only one of ten. That I know of. Who knows how many more there are.”
“Amazing!”
“Listen, one reader commented, It’s a very sad day today. My friends and I will be holding a wake for Cray’s dearly departed hair.”
“I literally don’t know what to say to that.”
“Well, a lot of fans had a lot to say about your decision to cut your hair.”
“What can I say? It was for a good cause.”
“Indeed. The auction for your locks raised a whopping 2.4 million dollars and all the proceeds went to the Iddy Foundation. Is this the same Iddy that inspired your new album?”
“Yes, it is. She is very passionate about making a difference in the world. She has been involved with many charities all her life so as a grand gesture, I started this foundation in her honor. Cutting my hair was just one of many ways that I plan to raise money for the foundation. What sets the Iddy Foundation apart is that it is not limited to only one cause. There are so many people in need in the world and the Iddy Foundation will be there to do its part to help whatever causes that need financial assistance. The board of directors is very competent and I trust them 100 percent. I believe they will do an excellent job.”
“A whole album, a whole charity, cutting your hair. You’re really going all out for this girl.”
“I believe that when you want something, you’ve got to go after it 110 percent.”
“Well, we here at the Carrie on Rockin’ show want to do our bit to help you in your mission. You have ten seconds to say anything you want to Iddy. Go.”
“Iddy, wherever you are, just know that I’m not giving up on you. I’m not giving up on us. To quote that famous song: One way or another, I’m gonna get you. We belong together. I’m going to wait as long as it takes and do whatever it takes to make you mine.”
“Phew! It’s getting a bit intense here in the studio so I think now would be a good time to take a short break. Don’t go too far away because on the other side of the break, we will talk some more with King of the Damned’s Cray and then listen to some of the songs from his new album “Iddy.” Carrie on Rockin’!
Chapter 7: Edith Acts
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.”
- Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul."
- --St. Augustine
After listening to that radio interview, I had a lot of food for thought. I had thought long and hard about Carlton, Cray and myself. There was no denying that there was chemistry between Cray and I, although I still did not quite understand exactly what he saw in me. It must be the novelty. I know that I am definitely not his typical woman. I am not like Sarah Poussey, who according to the hostess of the radio show, was Cray's “on and off”. I am not super rich, or a famous model. I am struggling to pay my bills, I do not crave fame and I am not skeleton thin. In fact, I am very curvy and I refuse to starve myself in order to fit a certain image dreamed up by sexist old men.
Anyway, Cray and I worked well during the one month I was writing his biography. Looking back, I now see that he went out of his way to ensure that I was comfortable. He shielded me from most of the wilder party antics of his band members and roadies. He made sure that my every need was catered for. And when I say every need, I mean that literally. All I had to do was ask and someone would appear as if by magic, and hand me whatever it was that I had asked for.
We are intellectually compatible. The one thing I missed most about Cray was our verbal sparring. He has a quick mind and a wicked
fun sense of humor. And his very public and lavish campaign to woo me by setting up a charity foundation showed me that there was more to Cray than just the rich, sexy, playboy image that he had so carefully cultivated over the years.
Then there was Carlton. Carlton was safe and safe definitely appealed to me. However, as my twin brother pointed out to me, I was only clinging to Carlton because I was too scared to face my honest feelings for Cray.
Of course, I’m scared! Who wouldn’t be? Cray is like a hurricane. He has already wreaked havoc in my life, ruining me for all other men. And what scares me the most is that after he is done ruining me, he would move on to the next novelty item that catches his eye, leaving me to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. Would my poor, fragile heart be able to survive another Carlton-like betrayal?
After many days of thinking about it, I finally decided that life was too short to over think things. Maybe things would not work out between Cray and I. After all, we were literally from different worlds. I was never going to be the kind of person who likes the limelight but Cray lives and thrives for fame. I was going to put myself out there and give this a chance. At least, even if it doesn’t work out, I won’t have any ‘what if’ regrets.
My twin brother, Eddy arranged for me to wait in Cray’s private jet. We would be taking off early the next morning for the next leg of his tour. I smiled as I recalled just how nervous and out of place I felt the first time I was in the private jet. It seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed. Or was I the one who had changed so much?
As I waited for Cray to return, I read the online review that some big shot music journalist had posted about that night’s concert.
There are scores of females out there who love King of the Damned. And if they pay enough and get close enough to the stage at a concert, Cray, the band’s magnetic lead singer, rewards them by taking off his t-shirt, which is what’s happening on a Friday night at a private show taking place in a certain Music Center. Cray yells, “Who’s thirsty?” The crowd of females scream in appreciation. Several women in the front rows reciprocate the kind gesture and remove their tops, baring it all.
King of the Damned is one of the best-selling active rock bands in the world, thriving as the recording industry has declined. The band’s artistry plays a part but it is Cray’s commercial genius that keeps this unconventional rock band soaring. He has found different ways for the band to make money both onstage and off stage, through merchandising, licensing and product-placement. It’s therefore not very surprising that this tattooed, eye-lined rock-star-cum-business-mogul is one of the wealthiest men in the world.
The band is touring for its latest album, Iddy, which, unlike their other records that celebrate rowdiness, lust and uncorking of appetites, is more subdued, more reflective and has more depth. But on stage, Cray does not shy away from the King of the Damnedness that endeared him to his fans when he and his band started out in the business, almost two decades ago. Halfway through the set, he takes one under garment that has been thrown onstage and hangs it from the head of his guitar like a large Christmas ornament. Then he breaks into the power chords to start “Iddy”, the opening song for the album which has the same title. The guitarists of the band play their instruments with their feet wide apart, looking like they’re going to swallow the microphones. Cray controls the audience like Hitler at the Nuremberg rallies. Watching him is hypnotic, mesmerizing, a religious experience.
I finally admitted to myself that I was no better than the millions of female fans that adored him. After spending one month with him as I wrote his biography, I had come to appreciate him. And to love him. Furthermore, I want to get into his pants. I need to have all that energy that he displayed on stage coursing through me, deep inside me. Right here, right NOW!
I was determined that tonight, it was going to be all about him. He had shown me, in the only way a man as wealthy and famous as him could, that he cared for me deeply and that maybe even loved me? Well, now, I was going to show him, in the only way a woman like me can, that I cherished and desired him.
Chapter 8: Jet Sex
It was very late when Cray’s limo pulled up along side the jet. I leered through the tiny jet window, watching him intently. I wasn’t surprised that he looked tired. I had watched the whole show on the flat screen TV mounted on one side of his private jet. He had rocked hard!
I greeted him with a big hug as he came through the door. “Have a good day at the office?” I asked, pretending I hadn’t see the concert.
“Ya, Babe, the guys and I slayed it tonight.”
“You guys always do.”
“Where’s Eddy? Is it just you and me?” Asked Cray, almost sounding delighted.
That look on his face rather surprised me. “Last minute thing, he couldn’t make it. He’ll be here in the morning.”
“Just you and I tonight, mmmm, I like that.”
"Sorry I haven't been much company for you lately since the wedding. I’d like to try and patch up things between us,” I said in an apologetic voice. “Let me get some drinks right away. Then I'll sit down with you to have a good visit."
I made the drinks and walked back into the room. "Thanks," he said as I handed the glass to him. He was sitting on the couch facing the TV, so it was appropriate for me to sit beside him. He consumed his drink rather fast and handed the empty glass to me. "That was good, how about getting us another one?"
I disappeared again into the kitchen galley and couldn't decide how strong to make the drinks. I didn't want to get him drunk, but I remembered he likes a strong drink. I decided to make fresh drinks with a good quantity of booze.
I walked back and turned off the TV for us to talk. When I was again sitting on the couch and sipping our drinks, I was beginning to feel a little tipsy. I knew he must be feeling the same way, too. I had to get something off my chest and the strong drinks were making it easier to speak my mind. I looked him straight in the eyes and just said it;
“I need to know something.”
“Okay, sounds deadly serious though,” he replied.
“You can have any woman you want. So why me? Why aren’t you with that movie star, Sarah Pussy or Poussey or whatever her name is?
“Sarah Poussey! She means nothing to me.”
“She’s got an incredible super model body and I don’t.
Intellectually, she’s dead from the neck up.” He grinned while tapping his fingers on the table. “And she’s horrible in bed.”
“Wow, that’s a shocker. Okay, what is it about me?”
“You’re just hot in a different way. I guess it’s that clean and wholesome thing that attracts me to you. Plus, you knocked the autobiography out of the park. You actually know more about me than I know. That’s sexy. By the way, are you good in bed?”
Hey! My drink is empty. How about another one," I exclaimed emphatically in a slurred voice.
“Are you trying to avoid the inevitable?”
“Maybe just for now.” I replied trying to be a little coy. I was going to please him tonight and he knew it. I crossed my legs and noticed him peeking at the hem of my mini skirt that barely covered my crotch.
“What happened with that loser Carleton?” He asked.
“Same thing, it took me awhile to realize that we’re just completely incompatible. He’s the guy that took my virginity and I guess that made me put him on a pedestal, how stupid of me!”
He glanced up to look at my face and with no hesitance said, "Well, what are we bloody well waiting for?"
That’s when we both gazed in each other’s eyes longingly, not a word spoken by either of us. I was temporarily lost within the breathless paradise of his dreamy purple eyes. But I knew better than to let someone with his ego know how much power he had over me. At first, I didn't lean in, didn't make it easy or seem too keen. Then he brushed my hair back from my shoulders and moved in so close I could feel his lean body pressed up against me. I felt his warmth and already my mind had our lips placed to
gether. But instead he leaned in to caress my neck, slow and gentle. He's making me wait and I could barely stand it. I wanted his lips now, I wanted his kisses. Then he cupped my face in his hands, and appreciated exactly what I wanted. He knew that once we kissed, my resistance would crumble. Now we knew there would be only one desire, one wish, and we both know it's just a matter of time before it happened. Then I gathered my courage and made the next move. I leaned in and kissed him softly, flicking my tongue across his lower lip. His answer was encouraging. He put his hand at the back of my neck and pulled my lips harder against his, his other hand roaming over my behind…
One kiss and I had the courage to do what had to be done. Passion coursed through me and I caught on fire. My intention to make it his special night was temporarily forgotten. All I wanted was to rip his clothes off and have my way with him. I somehow managed to pull away but I was gasping for breath. That knowing look in his eyes, the one that said he was very aware that I wanted him, almost made me beg.
“Cray, I need - “But I stopped myself just in time.
He beamed a very sexy smile. “What do you need, Iddy baby?”
He was such a tease! As if it wasn’t obvious to both of us how much I wanted him! I ignored his question and instead got a hold of his black t-shirt and pulled it up his torso. He helped me take it off. I was momentarily distracted by the sight of his beautiful tattoos and his nipples that were just begging to be licked. I involuntarily licked my lips. Then I shook my head, telling myself, not yet.
But Cray wasn’t making it easy for me to make it his night. He took one of his nipples and pinched it, offering it up to me. I couldn’t resist. I let out a little whimper in anticipation. I had to have a taste. Just a little taste.
So I did. I licked and sucked and pinched. So very good! I moaned my approval. Then I took his fingers and brought them to my lips, kissing each one gently.
"We've had good time so far tonight and probably too much to drink. Do you think it's time to go to bed?" I said.