“I do, but…but please don’t tell Aedith,” I whispered.
He looked at me, the slightest tilt to his head. “Even knowing we cannot give you what you seek, you wish to stay with us? These things won’t change.”
“But I might.”
Again, that appraising look, as though he weighed me as a person. My heart clenched. I had been careless to reveal my worries, I realized. Family Twelfth Company and the rest of the mercenaries might have been, but it was a family that I was not yet truly a part of. He could say no. He could tell Aedith that I was not stable enough to stay with Twelfth Company, and then I would be alone—again. I’d have to go to the capital and work in a place that looked like my home but was not my home at all.
“I don’t know if I will change my mind,” I said, when he still hadn’t responded. “I just know that I want until the end of the winter to decide for myself. I’d never intentionally endanger any of you, after all you’ve done for me. I just didn’t think about it in that way.”
He was petting Magpie again. “You have been through much recently. I don’t expect you to have all the answers. Toward the thaw we can reevaluate what is the right decision for you.”
“Thank you,” I murmured.
“Will you now come inside soon? Join us in our celebrations?”
I didn’t want to, but I knew that if I was to convince him that I could be a part of his company I would have to start by being in their company.
I bobbed my head and smiled. “Ok. I need a moment back at my room to straighten up and put these things away. Then I’ll join you all.”
Training in winter was hard. Like most of the other commanders, Aedith only made outdoor physical training mandatory two days of the week. I forced myself to trudge out to the yard at least four days. Coming to the barracks had not stopped the buzzing in my head, and besides, I still had so much to learn.
Some days Dai, Aella, or Kaleb would practice. On the days they didn’t, there was often someone from Twelfth Company or one of the others mercenary companies who could spar with me. Today I was facing off against Marianna of Third Company—the giantess from the mess hall. A flock of sparrows was perched on the fencing near us, peeping softly to one another, and it made me feel like I had a tiny, feathered audience.
Training sessions like these were nice, in their way. Not easy, but educational. It was interesting to see how different people fought. Some took their time to determine my level of skill, and then kept pace with me. Some used their full strength right off, leaving me scrabbling to keep up. My bruises were proof that no one took it easy on me, but I was proud to say no one had pummeled me at any point.
Marianna was one of those people who took their time in a sparring match. She had circled me and made a few lazy passes with her staff, gauging the speed of my reaction. However, in the past five minutes, she had yet to make an earnest attack. I had yet to really try to attack her either. She was taller than Kaleb and just as muscular. I had a pretty solid suspicion that the moment I engaged with her would be the moment I would begin to lose.
Her brown eyes narrowed against the glare from the snow, softly calculating. “Ready?” she asked me.
I inhaled deeply, rolling my shoulders and trying to firm my resolve. I nodded. “Go on.”
Marianna was fast, but she was not faster than Aella—her weapon did not blur into one ever-moving smudge. I blocked her first two attacks solidly, barely registering the jarring feeling in my wrists. She disengaged quickly and struck again, and this time I skipped backward, using my own staff to shift hers gently to the right. She smiled and bobbed her head, appreciating the move even as she attacked again.
I envied her endurance. We were a few minutes in, yet she was still looking fresh and cool. Meanwhile, under my gear, I had begun to sweat.
With a burst of speed, I managed to strike her on the thigh. I put more strength into it than I might have normally, hoping the time it took her to recover would allow me to wipe the sweat from my forehead. The move turned out to be costly. When I swiped my face with a hand still clutching my staff, she shot her staff forward, under my guard. The butt hit squarely in my solar plexus. My anguished yelp coupled with a burst of movement from another pair practicing beside us. The commotion sent the flock of sparrows noisily into the air.
I plunged my staff into the ground for balance; my right hand flying from the wood to press against the place Marianna had hit. Throat tight, I took a strangled gasp of air. Then another. A third. I couldn’t get my wind back. The rush of wings overhead grew louder even as the sparrows flew from sight. Under my thick leather gloves, phantom scrapes burned on my palms. I bent farther over my staff as my vision went blotchy.
Through dancing black spots, I saw Marianna reach a hand out. “Hey—are you all right?”
Not wanting to worry her, I tamped down on that unexpected flare of panic. I drew in one more sharp breath, and then forced myself to let it out slowly. Gradually, the feeling died away, leaving me cold, and a little sick. What had that been? It had almost been like a memory, but when was the last time I had skinned my hands in a fall?
“Taryn?” Marianna asked. There was more concern in her voice this time.
Perhaps Aedith was right. Some of the mercenaries, like Marianna, might have commiserated with me when it came to my sorrows, but I didn’t want them to. These people didn’t know me for who I had once been. They didn’t know anything about what had happened to me. I was just Taryn to them. A shepherd from the mountains who had decided to make a new life for herself.
With my breathing back under control, I straightened and grinned at her. I was forcing it, and I knew it looked a little reckless, but that was better than looking like I was scared. “I’m all right. That was a good hit! Let me get a drink, and we’ll go again.”
Relief washed over her face. She mimed a few punches. “All right, Scrap. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
My laugh was genuine. I’d gotten the title “Scrappy” or “Scrap” early on, from Sam. She was the first to realize that I would train even on days when it snowed thickly, and the yard was barren. She had spread the word, and I had already endured a good deal of razzing over it. A few people had told me that if I got sick and spread it, I would have to answer for it on the practice yard. That had gotten me to shorten training on the nastier days… but, I still made myself do a little, even if it was only for a short amount of time. I wanted to be ready for anything. Besides, of all the “Taryn’s” I could be… a scrappy fighter wasn’t a bad one.
Marianna and I went two more rounds—all of which she won—and then we parted ways. After three hours in the yard, I was starving, and ready to relax with my friends.
It was strange to think that I had a group of friends… but I did. Over the months which followed my talk with Dai, I had done my best to engage with the other mercenaries, beyond the practice yard.
It took time. I had never been the best at getting along with people back home. Nai had always taken point when it came to talking to other people. Remembering the ease which she always had when among a crowd of people, I strived to emulate her.
More than a little awkward at first, I asked questions and made jokes. I let Aella take the lead at times, but I pushed myself more than I had in the past, conscious that this was different than just making friends. If I stayed on with Twelfth Company, some of these people would defend my back in combat. I learned their stories and made my face known. A little at a time, Aella’s friends became my friends. Our circle was only five strong—Aella, me, Lucas, Conner, and a girl named Mariah—but that was more friends than I had ever had before.
Mariah was already seated and eating when I entered the mess hall. She spotted me almost immediately as I walked inside, and she waved. I was unsurprised to see Lucas sitting beside her. Mariah had arrived two weeks after we did, and ever since, the two of them had been stuck together like two halves of a walnut shell. Luke didn’t wave, but only because he was helping himself to someth
ing on her plate while she wasn’t looking. I grinned.
As recently as a month ago, I couldn’t have imagined spending copious amounts of time with Lucas. My brother had attempted to frame him for the assault of my friend Beth. Smaller things than that could ruin a budding friendship.
All the time we had been together on the road, I kept expecting him to want to have it out with me about that… only he never did. It had driven me crazy, because I was so sure that it was a matter of time before the other shoe dropped and he demanded satisfaction for the ordeal my brother had put him through. It was through Mariah’s intervention that the lingering awkwardness was put to death.
I’d known her a few weeks when it happened. I’d been attempting to back out of a ride in the woods with her and Aella. I’d been excited for the ride, until one of them had let slip that Lucas would be joining us. Immediately I had begun rattling off excuses for why it would be better if I stayed in, just that one time. As that was not the first time that I had done something of the kind in the past week, it was not precisely convincing.
“So, do you not like Luke?” Mariah had asked me, cutting into my list so abruptly that I flinched.
“No!” I’d protested. “Luke’s fine.”
“He’s fine, but you don’t want to be within ten yards of him?” She had frowned at me, severely. “Be honest, is this about that mess Luke got into a few months back? The one in your village?”
My heart had jumped into my throat. I’d known even then that Mariah was closest with Luke. Certain that if she knew what my brother had done, she wouldn’t like me either, I had asked what exactly Aella had said to her.
Mariah had glanced at Aella, as though checking that it was all right to say what she knew. “She told me that one of the locals from your town did, you know, the normal local thing.” When I hadn’t understood, she had sighed and looked to Aella again, this time for help explaining.
I remembered the way my pulse had raced as I looked between the two other girls. Aella had taken the time to collect her thoughts and clear her throat, oblivious to the way I had squirmed as I waited for her to speak. “I told her that some random guy tried to frame Luke for hurting your friend Beth,” she had said finally, with a meaningfully look at me. “I told her you probably felt a little guilty about it, since they were your people.”
I had relaxed, marginally. “Well? I wouldn’t like me very much, if I were Luke, and I don’t want to impose, or make things uncomfortable.”
“If that’s all that has you knotted up, I’d let it go,” Mariah had advised me then, to my surprise. “He got out of the scrape ok, and I don’t know why it is, but he doesn’t hold on to things like normal people do. I mean, we’re all used to that kind of nonsense from people, but Luke… he’s even better at it than most.” A soft look had crossed her face when she talked about Luke, giving me my first hint that there was more than friendship between the two of them.
When I’d gotten over myself enough to take Mariah’s advice and get to know him better, I’d found she was right. Luke was an easy-going young man, quicker with a smile than a frown, and he never brought up what happened back in Nophgrin at all. He seemed more interested in what was to come than what was behind him.
As I moved into line, I kept an eye on the two of them. Luke had made another grab at what I now saw to be Mariah’s cinnamon apples. She caught him this time, and he cackled wildly as she attempted to steal his mashed potatoes as retribution. His arms strained as he desperately tried to hold off the spoon she was trying to shove past him.
Conner joined them when I was almost to the front of the line. Quietly, he set down his tray to Mariah’s left, and while the other two were distracted, he reached into the fray and snagged an apple slice for himself. He said something. The words were lost in the distance between us, but his expression was smug. Abruptly Luke and Mariah stopped attacking each other and turned on him.
“Rapscallions.” Aella had come up behind me, and she was watching the spectacle.
“I don’t know,” I said slowly, “If I get to the front of this line, and it turns out they’ve run out of those apples…I might have to join the good fight.”
Luck was with us. Ito was working the counter, and he informed us a fresh batch of apples had just finished baking. Shamelessly, Aella begged an extra helping for both of us.
“It’s not for us,” she told Ito, when he hesitated. “Luke and Conner missed out when they went through the line.” He gave her a shrewd look and she put a hand over her heart. “Swear!”
“All right,” he said at last, “but some of those had better go on your friend’s plates—or else. I will be watching.”
Aella beamed at him and twirled away to join me at the drink station. I smiled absently at her, but my mind was on the man’s choice of words.
Ito did watch me. I would be in the training yard, or in the mess hall, and I’d look up and there he’d be. He always had a weighing look in his eyes; I had no proof, but I thought perhaps Dai had shared our conversation from the first evening in Forklahke. I didn’t begrudge his watchfulness necessarily, but it did make me nervous. I knew I owed him a lot, and I hated that I had caused him and Dai to doubt me.
Those gloomy thoughts didn’t stay with me long. Over at the table Conner was trying to entice the two younger mages from his company—Pan and Sarah— into the food war.
“With your help, we can take them!” he said, referring to the apparent allegiance Luke and Mariah had formed while we ordered. “Help me, and half the spoils are yours!”
“No thanks,” Sarah said, clearly biting back a smile.
Pan was piling their trays and cups together. “We’ll see you later Conner.”
They rose to leave as Aella and I joined the group. I could have told Conner that his company-mates were too serious to play games. No matter how many times one of our set reached out, they were rebuffed. I’d long since stopped trying. We would smile and nod at each other in the halls, but that was as far as things went.
Privately, I was glad they didn’t want to spend time with us. I still didn’t know how I felt about mages even ones my age, and anyway, Pan and Sarah seemed stuck-up. Why force it? There were plenty of other people our age among the companies who I got on with better. Though, I didn’t click with anyone in the same way I did with Aella, Mariah, Luke, and Conner.
The four of them made getting along easy. They filled the slow hours of the day with fun, and they had a whole store of fantastic tales between them.
Both Mariah’s and Conner’s companies had spent the summer chasing raiders and rebels. Their experiences were educational, to say the least, and I was grateful that they were willing to answer all my questions about the world at large. I had a lot. So much of what they said did not hold to what I knew to be true. Remembering a question that I’d been saving for my new friends, I wiggled my spoon in Mariah direction.
“Mariah?” I had barely gotten her name out when Aella began to tug on my tray. Over her shoulder Conner was looking at me, his lower lip jutting out pitifully. I rolled my eyes and pushed the tray toward her. With a quick thanks she began to spoon a portion of my cinnamon apples onto Conner’s plate. By the time she had pushed my tray back to me Mariah had looked up from her own plate.
“You can’t have any of my apples,” she said. “You chose to give yours away.”
I grinned. “It’s not that. I was wondering about something you said, last night.”
“About?”
“About Ninth Company’s summer job? You said that you’ve been up in the northern mountains every year since you signed on, dealing with rebels.”
“That’s right.”
“But I was under the impression that King Lionel had all but snuffed out the raiding problem. That was what we were taught, anyway. So how are there—”
“How are there enough of them that I’m up there every year?” she asked. I nodded, and she shrugged. “They’re like fleas. You can never be rid of them entirely.
And you know, Donegal is always trying to nibble pieces away from Somerlarth. When raiders infest their mountains, the lords look the other way, so long as they turned their teeth primarily on their western neighbor.”
I pushed some potatoes around on my plate. She sounded pleased. “Is that a good thing?”
Her black eyebrows swept upward in surprise. “Well, it means I have a job every summer. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“It’s better than what I had to do,” Conner replied, tapping the scar under his collarbone. He had already explained to me that before they had reached the barracks, Seventh Company had been in Elyria. That was Somerlarth’s southeastern neighbor. They had been helping the emperor and his kinfolk deal with a rebellion.
“How is the rebellion going?” Mariah asked with interest. “Any change since last spring? That’s when I got my last letter from you, and I’ve been wondering.”
Personally, I hadn’t even known a rebellion was happening in Elyria. I’d thought it sounded exciting, and a little scary, but Conner told us it wasn’t much to look at. Unorganized, and underfunded.
“It’s sort of tragic,” he said. “The rich live in great estates with these amazing forest gardens in the north of the country. Meanwhile, the rest of the kingdom, mostly in steppe country, deals with the drought.”
“How long has the drought been going for?” Aella asked, through a bite of turnip.
“Almost five years now.” Conner shook his head. “They did their best in the beginning, but the land is tired. The rebel fighters are too. I don’t think they’ll last another year. As is, they’re mostly oxen drivers with pitchforks. They know the land, so it’s hard to weed all of them out, but when we do fight…”
“What?” I asked.
“They get a few surprise shots in, obviously, but when it comes to actual fighting, they’re outmatched. The few scraps of leather they have to tie over their clothes are from the oxen that have starved already, and they can’t afford better. I feel bad for them. They just want their overlords to do more for them and their kids.”
Of Dragon Warrens and Other Traps Page 7