by J. L. Beck
It can’t be. I refuse to let it be the last memory we share. I have to live, because I have to protect our baby. But the more I think about it, the more I come up with nothing. There is no viable way for me to get out of this unscathed.
Xander is never going to come for me; I feel it deep in my bones. Not when he thinks I’ve betrayed him. Even if he were to try to find me, how long would it take him? How long would I able to endure his father’s treatment without breaking? Even if I make it out of this alive…will I ever be the same?
I roll around in the trunk as Xander’s father continues driving. I struggle against the cable ties that bind my hands. The next turn we take makes something wedge underneath me. I scoot around until I can get it into my hands.
It’s cold and heavy, and made out of some kind of metal. I keep moving it around, my fingers putting an image of the item together in my head. A crowbar or something like it. I almost shout in victory. I try not get too excited about it though. It's not going to do me any good if I can’t get my hands untied.
I move it so the sharp pointy edge is in between my hands. Then I wedge it right under where the cable tie is connected and push my body weight against it. It keeps sliding off instead of slicing through like I want it to, and I growl into the gag with frustration. My palms are sweaty, making it even harder to regain control every time it slips out of my hand.
Don’t give up. Fight. I need to fight… fight with every single ounce of blood inside me. Xander might not come for me, but I have to try and escape this on my own. We make a right turn, which makes my body roll to the other side of the trunk. I right myself and we drive for a short time before the car comes to a complete stop. It’s now or never.
I keep trying with all my strength to break the stupid cable ties, but they won’t budge. Fear trickles down my spine when I hear the car door open and close. In that second, I decide to try one final time. I place the crowbar back into place and push as hard as I can. My heart’s beating so fast, the pounding resonates into my ears.
The clicking sound of the trunk being opened fills the small space just as the cable tie snaps in two and my arms fall free. Moonlight pours into the space as the trunk opens. My stomach clenches as I curl my fingers around the cold metal of the crowbar and swing it at the face of the bastard who appears above me.
If I’m going to die, then I’m going to go out swinging. I hit the asshole in the side of the head, making him stumble backward.
“You fucking bitch,” he snarls, clutching the side of his head. Before he has time to regain his bearings and reach for me, I climb out of the trunk, bringing the crowbar with me. I run as fast as my legs will carry me into the thick brush ahead. Vines, branches, and leaves stick to my clothes and scratch across my skin.
But I don’t care. I don’t look where I am going, I just run.
“Follow her. Don’t let her get the fuck away.” Xander’s father’s voice rings in my ears. I hear more voices behind me, and heavy footfalls snapping branches with every step I take, but I don’t stop. I can’t if I want to make it out of this alive. I remove the gag from my mouth and continue running.
Each breath that passes my lips is labored, and when I can’t possibly take another step, I slip behind a tree, a shiver coursing through me as a cold breeze blows through the trees, rustling the leaves around me.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” An unknown voice calls out into the darkness. I force myself to breathe slowly, afraid that my breathing may give me away.
With the crowbar heavy in my hands, I prepare myself to use it. I hear men walking away from me and for a moment, I think there might be a chance they won’t find me. My hopes are short lived when I hear a twig snap to my right, and a large figure cloaked in darkness appears at my side.
The urge to scream is strong but I know it will only give me away, so I swallow it down. I swing the crowbar in the air and hit the guy with all the strength I have left inside of me. My arms shake with the effort, and I end up hitting him in the shoulder instead of the head, where I was aiming.
He grunts and grabs the bar from my hands, pulling it out of my grip like it’s nothing more than a piece of paper. I twist around and run the other way, but I only make it a few steps before another body slams into me, knocking the breath out of me and sending me to the wet ground. Rough hands grab onto my shoulders, holding me in place.
“Running is going to cost you extra, babe,” the bastard whispers into my ear, and I grunt, trying to buck him off of me, but my weight is nothing compared to his. He presses his hardened dick into my backside, like this kind of thing turns him on or something.
“Let me go,” I snarl, digging my fingers into the dirt for leverage.
“No can do,” he mutters, his body moving off of mine. I attempt to make a run for it, but I don’t even get up off the ground before he has his hands wrapped around my middle. He picks me up like I weigh nothing and throws me over his shoulder. Then he slaps a hard hand to my ass.
I grind my teeth together, holding back the yelp of pain.
“You should be glad you didn’t hit my head with that thing. I would have been taking my turn before the boss got a chance.”
“You’ll never get a chance. Not if I kill you all.” I pound my fists into his back, refusing to give up on escaping.
“Boss didn’t tell me you were such a spit-fire.” The man carrying me chuckles, continuing his walk back the way we had just come. “I really hope that he leaves you alive so I can play with you later. You’d make a great pet.”
I grit my teeth in anger. I’ve never felt so much fury in my life.
The nameless man carries me all the way up to a house I had missed when I was running away. There are lights on inside that emit a small glow of light onto the outside porch. I look down, watching as the grass changes into patio stones beneath us.
“There she is.” I want to throw up just hearing his voice.
“You didn’t tell me she was such a feisty one, boss. I’d love to keep her as my pet.” The man holding me lifts his hand, placing it on my ass cheek. I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill this bastard as soon as I get the chance.
“Let go of me,” I seethe, pushing upward with my hands. The man’s hand digs into my ass cheek, causing me to cry out in pain. A bubble of fear fills my mind. They are going to rape me, I know it. I can feel it, but I have to protect the baby above all else… I need to survive if only for him or her.
“You can have her when I’m done with her. That is if she survives what I have planned.” Xander’s father’s voice cuts off my train of thought.
The sound of leaves rustling off in the distance has me lifting my gaze to the woods in front of me. I can’t see worth a shit, but I know something is out there, lingering right on the edge of the clearing.
“Where do you want her?”
“I’ll take her from here.”
The man swings me off his shoulder and sets me on the ground. He pushes me forward, making me lose my balance and fall to my hands and knees.
The men all start laughing. “You better get used to that position, whore.”
“Xander will come for me and kill you all,” I lie. I’m not sure if he’s going to come for me, not after the way things ended between us, but a part of me hopes he will, and that’s enough for me to lie to the bastards in front of me.
I barely finish the thought when I hear a sound coming from directly behind us. The illuminating moon in the sky casts a dim light over us, and I catch a glimpse of a large figure moving behind Xander’s father.
Everything seems to happen so fast. One second, I am standing, and the next, I’m crouching down on the ground. Gunshots start going off around me, the thud of bodies hitting the ground fills my ears, and the metallic smell of blood fills my nostrils. I flatten myself to the cold patio pavement, trying to stay out of the gunfire. The last thing I need is to get shot. My gaze swings around but it’s so dark and there is blood everywhere. It’s hard to make out wh
at is going on, and who is who.
I know I should feel terror, that I should probably run, but I can’t bring myself to move. I’m frozen in place, caught in the crossfire.
I peek up through strawberry-blonde locks and spot Xander’s father on his knees, holding his side. Agony contorts his devilish features. Blood is already soaking through his shirt and spilling out between his fingers like a river flooding over its banks.
A warm hand lands gently against my back, making my head snap to the side. I roll to my back and slash at the hand touching me.
“It’s me. Damon. Are you okay?” Concern catches in his voice.
I shake my head, realizing it’s really Damon kneeling beside me, and not some figment of my imagination. “I think so.” My lips tremble. “Is Xander here?”
I can see the ghosting of a smile on Damon’s lips. “Of course, he’s here. How do you think I got here?”
I grimace. “I didn’t know if he would come for me.”
Gunshots ring out, peppering the air, and Damon and I remain on the ground for another second before someone in the distance yells, “All clear.”
Then he’s grabbing me and hauling me up with him, pulling me away from their father. He drags me with him until I’m on the opposite side of the house, protected from any stray bullets.
“Stay here until Xander or I come to get you,” he demands, before shoving a gun into my hand. “Point and shoot at anyone you don’t know.”
I open my mouth to say something, but he’s gone, disappearing around the corner before I get a chance to. I hold the warm gun in my shaking hands, ready to kill anyone who crosses my path.
Chapter 19
Xander
The metallic smell of blood and gunpowder coats the air. Watching them manhandle Ella the way they did has me unhinged. I kill without thought, bullet after bullet entering man after man’s brain. I don’t think, I simply act. My only thought at that moment is to kill and protect what is mine.
I kill every single bastard here, and then move toward my father, who Damon already shot. I know Ella isn’t far from where my father is right at this moment, on his knees bleeding out. If she wasn’t here to think about, I would make this very slow and painful for him. But I don’t want to draw it out any longer than I have to, not when I have to think about getting her out of here and to a doctor.
I will have to satisfy my need by looking him in the eyes when he takes his last breath. It is good enough to know that I am taking his life and everything he ever worked for with it. Damon comes around the corner and our eyes meet. It’s time to end this shit, once for all.
I walk up to my father, who is already bleeding out on the ground. He is wheezing heavily, trying to get air in his lungs, but the gurgling sound he’s making tells me that all he’s doing is sucking in a whole lot of blood.
“Did you really think you’d get away with taking her from me?” I snarl, smacking him in the back of the head with my gun.
He doesn’t say a word, nor do I want him to. I’m sure he can’t talk around the blood rising in his throat even if he wanted to. His eyes pierce mine. They’re cold, vacant, and even as he’s on his way to dying, he still doesn’t show a shred of remorse or compassion.
“Did you really think this could end any other way? You might’ve faked your death last time, but you won’t get that lucky this time. Today, you’re fucking dying.”
Damon holds his gun in his hands, his finger on the trigger. Even after everything my father did to me, after the way he hurt my Mouse… I’m still giving this to him. He deserves to be the one to end our father.
Damon looks at me. “Let’s do it together, brother.”
No longer are we two little boys facing the abuse of our father. Now we’re two powerful men, making the one man who was supposed to protect us from all the bad in world pay the ultimate price.
I smirk. “Fuck, yeah.”
I position myself next to my brother. Together, we point our guns at our father’s head. Right before the trigger is pulled, I think I see a flicker of emotion in our father's eyes.
Damon pulls the trigger and then I pull my own. Our father’s head snaps back as the front of his skull is torn apart by the bullets. His body hits the ground a moment later, and I feel like all my fears have vanished.
Finally, we are free. Free from the darkness, the pain, the anger. I savor the moment for a few minutes, just looking at the dead body before us with my brother by my side. Everything around us has gone quiet, all the gunfire ceased, and a peacefulness washes over me. My mind slips back to the present, and I feel the need to go to Mouse. To apologize and beg for her forgiveness.
“Where is she?” I ask Damon, who looks like he is deep in thought.
“Around the house, I gave her a gun, so you better announce yourself,” Damon warns and points me in the direction to go.
I start walking toward my mouse, wondering if she even wants to see me right now. I fucking hurt her, almost killed her, threw her in the cell and basically handed her to my father when she did nothing wrong.
Guilt settles so deep inside of me I know I will never fully be able to let go of this. She could've died tonight, and that's my fucking fault. She proved herself to me, earned my trust, and I didn’t even let her speak. I didn’t let her tell me what happened. I didn’t let her defend herself, and I know I will carry this guilt with me until I take my last breath, no matter how long my life might be and regardless of whether she forgives me or not. I walk around the side of the house, stopping only when I see a small body leaning against the siding.
“It’s me, don’t shoot.” I hold my hands up and take a step closer to her. “Unless you want to shoot me. In that case go ahead, I won’t hold it against you. I definitely deserve it.”
Mouse comes toward me and for a split second, I think she might actually shoot me, I wouldn’t try and stop her if she did, but then she drops the gun to the ground and runs straight for me. Her small body slams into mine, and her slim arms snake around my middle.
I shouldn't be happy. I know this, but I am. I’m happy to have her back, to be rid of my father. I know I can love and be loved in return. I hold her close to my body, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mouse. So fucking sorry. I fucked up. I hurt you. I ruined everything.”
“I didn’t think you would come for me. I thought I would never see you again. I thought you hated me and that I’d become your father's whore.” She starts sobbing into my chest, and every single word is like another stab to my heart. I failed her in every possible way, and there is no forgetting that.
I pull back slightly and grip her by the chin. I need her to hear and see me when I say these words to her. “I swear to you, Ella. If you forgive me, I will be a better man. I will care for you, and I will protect and cherish you.” I stare deeply into her eyes, hoping she can see how much I mean every single word I am saying.
“I should have fucking trusted you. I should have believed in you. I told you that I loved you and when it came time to prove myself, I failed you. I failed us, but it will never happen again. Never.”
Mouse shakes her head as if she doesn’t believe me. “I still love you, Xander. I know I probably shouldn't, but I do. I can’t help it. I love you, I love Q, and I’ll love...” She trails off, her face falling.
“I love you, too, Mouse, and I’m going to love this baby, our baby.” I release my hold on her chin and move my hand between us and over her still-flat belly, which will soon be swollen with our child. I can’t wait to see her full with our baby. I’ll bet she looks just as sexy pregnant as she does now.
“You found the test?” Surprise colors her features, and for a moment, I wonder if she was trying to hide it from me. I wouldn't be surprised if she was. I didn’t exactly treat Q’s mother with respect or kindness when I found out she was having him, but this was different. I wanted Mouse; I didn’t want the woman my father had sent to me.
“Yes, I came down to the cell as soon as I
found it, and that’s when I realized you were gone.”
Mouse frowns. “I didn't have time to look at the test because your men came in, but I knew I was. I felt it deep in my chest. I was going to tell you, of course, but I wanted to be sure first.”
“I know. I never really expected you to hide it from me, and even if you did, I wouldn’t blame you. My relationship with Q’s mom was nothing like the one I have with you. I’d never hurt you like that… never,” I assure her, because yes, I’ve treated her horribly, hurt her many times, and there aren’t any accuses for that behavior. But now that I know what it feels like to lose her, I will never do anything to risk her life again.
“Right now, I just want to get you home, get you showered, and have Doctor Brown come in and check on you.” My hands tremble as they trace over her features.
Sadness and guilt flicker in her blue eyes, and those two emotions mixed together frighten the hell out of me.
“Do you… do you want to come home with me still?”
I don't know what I'll do if she says no, but I would learn to deal with it. I can figure out how to give her some space if that's what she needs. However, if she tells me she doesn’t want to see me again, I'll probably have to take her hostage all over again.
“I do. I want to come with you… but I’m going to need some time… and space. I need more freedom, and I need you to trust me, because after all of this, trust is something we need to work on.” Her eyes skirt from mine. “And I want to see my sister…”
I try my hardest to hide the hurt from my eyes, but this fucking kills me. It hurts so fucking bad I might as well have shot myself in the chest. But if this is what she needs, then I’ll give it to her. If she wants space and time for us to work on things, I will make it happen.
I’ll give her what she wants, for as long as I can.
“Whatever you want, Mouse, and you can see your sister whenever you want. I know where she is, and she is safe.”