"She's copying you," I whispered to Mae.
"Smart kid." She wagged her eyebrows at me.
The guests began to take their seats and, as luck would have it, Mrs. F sat beside Mae. My dad leaned across her to address us.
"You both look beautiful tonight," he said, then nodded toward the menu in the center of the table. "Get the steak. Trust me."
"Thanks, Doctor Frost." Mae's charming smile had him grinning.
He saluted us with a bottle of beer. "Call me Jake."
"All right, Jake," Mae said.
Mrs. F glanced in our direction and shifted her weight uncomfortably at first. She, too, turned to face us.
"He's right. You do," she said, then scuttled about, fidgeting with her napkin.
"Thanks," I said, and Mae nodded cordially.
"The ceremony was lovely. Zoie told me you helped with the lighting." Mae turned to her, engaging her fully. I tensed my jaw to keep my mouth from hanging open.
"Oh yes." Mrs. F seemed to brighten. "She wanted something that was elegant but not too phony. It took some failures, though in the end it turned out quite nice."
"Are you a designer?" Mae sipped her drink, leaning it on her hand in her lap.
"Oh no, dear. No. But I dabble in crafts and such." A red hue tinted Mrs. F's cheeks. Papa J caught my gaze from behind Mrs. F. He scrunched up his face, quirked a brow, and pointed at my mother. I stifled a smirk and offered him a faint nod.
"Ella mentioned that you paint portraits," Mae continued. I hadn't told her that and suddenly I doubted if Zoie attributed the lighting to Mrs. F.
"That's just for fun. Nothing serious." Mrs. F waved her off.
"Nothing serious? Then why is an entire room in our house covered with paint and those boxy giant cloth things. Whatever they're called again," Papa J interjected.
"Canvases," Mrs. F corrected and elbowed him lightly in the side.
"I'd like to see your work sometime," said Mae.
Mrs. F smiled. A soft, thoughtful smile that brought a pause to the conversation. She didn't get a chance to respond as a server approached to take our choice in dinners. Almost everyone selected steak. Each time, Papa J offered a proud nod.
Salads followed the ordering and Mrs. F had her attention stolen away by Tara.
"I did not tell you that she painted," I hissed in Mae's ear.
"Hush up," she said before taking a forkful of salad, smiling as she chewed.
"Oh wait! They're for different courses," Sonora burst out, holding up one of the forks. Her father shushed her and Jax snickered. Frank went on to instruct the girls on the purpose of each utensil.
In between courses, Jed and Zoie's work friends hopped out of their seats to challenge each other on the arcade games. The rowdy dozen's cheers and hoots wove through conversation, muddling some words here and there. Mae patted my leg to draw my focus from the commotion.
"Another drink, El?"
"Um… sure but that's it. I still have to drive us home," I said, she kissed my cheek when she stood. "I could get you a drink, ya know."
"You could. But I like it better this way." Her chuckle carried with her toward the bar.
Zoie made her way over to our table, stopping between Sonora and me. With a single stroke of our hair to get our attention, she leaned between us and smiled.
"You're both wonderful. Thank you for being in our wedding," she said. Sonora hugged her around the middle and I gave her hand a squeeze.
"It's you that's amazing, trust me," I told her. A soft giggle escaped her when she released us and made her way around the table to gush to our family.
Mae returned just as the servers brought out the main course for the guests. Zoie scurried back to Jed as he ushered his friends away from the games.
"A glass full of sex for you," Mae said when she handed me the drink. "And wine for me."
"Shh." I laughed softly. "My mother is sitting next to you."
"She can handle it." The wry grin that curved her lips made me nudge her.
We tucked in to dinner as murmurs and the clinking of metal on glass filled the room. Sonora and Jax each ordered something different and shared half with each other. Mae looked on with a gentle smile. Her pride in Jax grew every day, especially since their talk about respect.
"When is winter break for you?" she asked unexpectedly.
"This week was finals so I'm done for three weeks," I said after finishing the last bite of potatoes.
"I was thinking," she began, setting her fork down and turning to me. "Liz has a vacation house in Cape Cod. I thought that maybe we could go there for a few days together. Sonora's family invited Jax on a ski trip after Christmas so it would work out. What do you think?"
"Yeah. I'd like that. I can ask Delia to look after Monkey." A bout of shyness rushed my cheeks, warming them as I considered her offer. No one had ever asked me to go away with them before.
"You're blushing." She bit her lip and smiled.
"Am not."
"Yes you are." Her laughter was lost beneath the return of upbeat music.
Jed hopped up from his seat and tugged Zoie by the hand. She shook her head at him as they bounced up and down toward the dance floor. Half a dozen of their friends followed. Servers returned for the empty plates and guests began mingling again. Tara and Frank introduced my parents to a slew of cousins and a set of grandparents.
More people found their way to the dance floor, bopping to the beat of whatever played. The moment the tempo switched to a slower dance, Mae stood and held her hand to me. I hesitated but she wiggled her fingers.
"C'mon, kitten. I don't bite." When I took her hand, she added, "In public."
"Very funny." If I wasn't blushing before, I must've been as red as a strawberry now. Even my ears seemed on fire.
Mae walked backward as she led me to the dance floor. She tugged me to her and settled her hands on my hips. I draped my arms over her shoulders as she guided us in a gentle, rhythmic sway.
"I've never been to a wedding like this before," Mae said, her gaze fixed on mine.
"Are handfastings much different?" I asked, toying with the hair at the base of her neck. A shiver ran across her shoulders and she licked her lips.
"Be careful where you play, kitten." She quivered and I ceased stroking her hair.
"Really?" My word escaped in a hush.
"Yes. Not unlike massages." Her lips grew rosier and all I wanted to do was indulge in her. "Now you know two of my three weaknesses."
"Like your Achilles."
"Mhmm." Her fingers dug into my waist a bit.
"What's the third?" I tilted my head, drawing my gaze from her lips back to her eyes.
"You."
"Mae…" And there went another wave of heat to my cheeks. "You already know that you're mine."
"And mango martinis." She laughed softly and pressed my body closer, so close that my mouth grazed hers. "And silk bindings," the words left her lips in a breathy whisper. The room around us faded away as did my concern over the opinion of anyone in it. I captured her in a kiss, cupping her cheek in my palm. Her lips moved with mine until her smile parted us. "Handfastings are much different," she answered my question of forever ago it seemed.
"You'll have to show me someday..."
"I will," she said. It sounded like a promise.
When the next song began, Jed appeared beside us. The goofy grin plastered across his face had me chuckling.
"Hello dear brother," I said as he wiggled his way in so that the three of us had no choice but to dance together. "This is new. Are you tanked?"
"A bit, actually. So what did you two get us? Hmm? I'm dying to know." His perky voice had Mae snickering, too.
"Is that all we're good for? Presents and frilly dances?" I teased.
"Oh yes. C'mon, El. You know me best." He looked to Mae. "Mae, what'd you guys do, for real."
"For real? Gosh, with a plea like that. How could I resist keeping it a secret?" She glanced to me, exaggerating he
r teasing. "Only the best most awesome top of the line crockpot ever."
"That's right, Jeddy. Number one on your bridal registry." I nodded overzealously.
"I knew I shouldn't've let her have control over the registry. My first mistake as a husband." He sighed, hanging his head in mock shame.
"I can't imagine what's under the lid of something that magnificent. Can you, Ella?" Mae gazed at me, wide-eyed and perky. I loved how she played right along in tormenting my brother.
"Under the lid? You put something in it? What? Tell me." He jerked his attention between us.
"Should we give him a hint, Mae?" I wagged my brows.
"Just one hint." She held up her index finger.
"Yes, one," Jed pleaded.
"Okay, well… the two biggest of them happen in San Diego and New York City every year," I offered.
"That's not much to go on." Jed stared at me, glanced to Mae, then back to me.
"Think about it," I urged.
"San Diego… New Yor— Wait! Are you kidding?" He shouted and half the dance floor glanced at him. Zoie eyed him from across the room.
"She's not kidding." Mae clearly got as much of a kick out of Jed's behavior as I did.
"Ultimate access passes. For the whole time. At both places next year." A grin as wicked as Mae's melted over my lips.
"What!" Jed shrieked and grabbed Mae and I into a bone-crushing hug. "Comic Con tickets!" He raced away from us, barreled through the dance floor, and grabbed Zoie by the arm. "We have to find the crockpot!" She looked at him as if he'd lost it for about half a second then joined him as he raced toward the table with the gifts. Mae and I cracked up as we watched them.
"That's one happy geek right there." Mae grinned as she looked back to me.
"Tell me about it. Wait until he sees Jax's gamer box thing gift subscription. He'll freak even more."
"And Zoie likes this stuff just the same? They're a perfect match."
"Yeah. They are." I tickled her hair again and, as expected, another shudder raced through her so hard that I felt her stomach quiver against mine.
"You're in trouble for that, kitten." She gave my hair a gentle tug and I grinned.
"Maybe I want to be in trouble."
"I'm beginning to think you do." She rested her forehead against mine as the tempo of the music slowed again.
"May I cut in?" Mrs. F's tentative voice sounded.
My entire body tensed when I leaned away from Mae. Her hand pressed the small of my back as if saying, "easy."
"Um…" I tripped over my own tongue as I made to answer. Jed appeared beside us and pried Mae's hand from me. He wore all four sets of Comic Con passes around his neck. She laughed at him and accepted his tug as he lured her into a dance.
Mrs. F stepped in front of me, taking one of my hands in hers while the other rested on my waist. I held her in the same fashion, glancing over her shoulder toward Mae and Jed.
"Will you let me lead already. Quit it." Jed wrestled with Mae who continued to snicker.
"Oh, my Ella, what have I done?" Mrs. F sighed, drawing my attention back to her. "I've made it difficult for you to even look at me."
"Maybe we shouldn't—"
"Do you remember the night you chose your name?" Mrs. F's purplish dress brushed my legs as she led us away from the speakers toward a less populated corner of the dance floor.
"At the adoption?"
"Earlier. When you had the nightmare," she said. I shook my head. Nightmare about what? "Well, when you first came to us, you were quite an oppositional handful. Remember?"
"That I remember." I fought the smirk that tugged my mouth.
"You hated being told what to do. Even suggesting something made you shut down and hide in your room. Until about half a year in. One night well after bedtime, when your father was off at work, you woke up crying. You found me in the studio and told me you hated being Maryruth because everyone who said your name always sounded so mean." Her dark eyes grew glassy though she smiled at the memory.
"They did. It always felt like they meant to say, 'Maryruth, what have you done wrong this time?'" Emotion brought a lump to my throat. Everything I did back then seemed to disappoint someone.
"That's just what you said." Mrs. F squeezed my hand. "So I suggested you choose a name for yourself and, for the first time, instead of walking away, you thought about it. I sat in that dirty old armchair and you crawled into my lap and said, 'I want to be Ella. Because—'"
"'No one I know has that name so they can't be angry at it,'" we said at the same time. Mrs. F's gentle laugh made me smile.
"Right. And I told you that if you wanted to be Ella, you could be my Ella and no one else's. It was the first time you ever hugged me," she said, reaching up to stroke my cheek. "You're still my Ella."
A quiet settled inside me, stealing my words as I met her gaze.
"You never fought rules or limits again after that night. Maybe because we shared an understanding and were better for it." She shook her head.
"Maybe…"
"Calling me Mom was something that was always difficult for you and Jed. But a few weeks ago when you called me Mom, and the words 'you hurt me' preceded it...it broke my heart." She took a deep breath. "Because I broke yours. I'm sorry, Ella. I'm sorry for how I treated you and for the things that I said." Tears replaced the glassiness in her gaze. I pressed my lips together, gnawing on my tongue to prevent my own tears from falling. My heart thundered in my chest and I wasn't sure if we were moving with the music anymore. "I've seen you with Mae. She loves you. And when you look at her, your face lights up. It's been a long time since I've seen you so happy, Ella. I know that you love her, that you love each other. I can't pretend that I'll ever understand what it's like to love a woman, but I can promise that I love you, no matter what."
Sobs caught in my throat and Mrs. F pulled me into a hug. On the dance floor, in the middle of my brother's wedding, all the emotions I'd been holding back for months poured from me.
My mother walked with me back to our table where she continued to hold me while I cried. Gratitude flooded me, both for the loud booming music, and for the words that Mrs. F spoke. This time, it seemed like her words were for me and not for anyone else. She rubbed my back as I wept against her shoulder, cooing continued apologies and affirmations.
"Let me see you," she said when my tears subsided. I leaned back and she dabbed a tissue over my cheek. An embarrassed laugh escaped me as I took it from her to wipe away the streaks of mascara. Her smile, a genuine mom smile, warmed me from the inside out. I had to admit that I remained worried that something unsettling may happen again between us in the future but right now, she told me what I needed to hear.
"Ella?" Mae appeared beside us and placed her hand on my back. Worry cooled her expression, smoothing out her brow and dimming the red hue of her lips. Mrs. F squeezed my hand when she looked up to Mae.
"I'm okay," I told her.
"What's going on?" Mae asked. Jed took a seat beside me and Papa J returned to his. Both men remained silent as if they knew what had happened between us. Something told me that they did.
"I've apologized to her for my closed-mindedness. I'd like to extend that to you, too, Mae." Mrs. F grabbed Mae's hand and squeezed both of our hands at the same time.
Mae offered her a tender smile followed by a knowing nod. My father gripped Mrs. F's shoulder and the two shared a hug.
Claps and cheers snapped my attention away from my family to a group of people flooding the dance floor. A quick tempo, 80s style song burst through the speakers. Jax and Sonora, sans shoes, raced to the floor. Jed jumped up from his seat when Zoie grabbed his arm. He then snatched Mae's wrist and she tugged me from my seat.
"Hey." I stumbled a bit with the sudden chaos. Mae and Zoie dragged the two of us to the center of the floor. People began singing and jumping all around, shouting something followed by "shut up and dance."
"You heard them!" Mae shouted and laced her fingers with mine. We twi
rled around between my brother and his wife who did some sort of stomp-jump dance. Jax and Sonora joined a group of younger folks who lined themselves up in a sort of coordinated effort that resembled The Hustle.
Without warning, Mae jerked my arm so hard that I spun with her. She grabbed me from behind with my arms crossed over my center. We stepped, side to side, facing Jed and Zoie who took center stage. They broke apart, tensed their bodies, and began a synchronized robot dance. The crowd hooted and clapped for them.
"They're adorable," I shouted over my shoulder to Mae. She kissed my cheek, released one of my hands and spun me back to catch me around the middle.
We watched as Jed snatched Zoie's hand and spun her in a fancy ballroom-style display. I shouted along with the others when he dipped her. My heart fluttered with excitement as they ended the dance with a flourish of Zoie's dress followed by a kiss to end all kisses. My brother was happy, the happiest I'd ever seen him. Hope and passion surged through me as if their emotions sent aftershocks into the crowd.
I turned to Mae as the song switched to a slower beat. Her smile, as bright and endless as ever, drew me in and I kissed her. She fumbled through it at first as if I'd surprised her.
"What was that for?" she said, rather breathlessly.
"For making me happy and…" I glanced over her shoulder as more couples joined us for the slow song. In that moment, there was no separation between them and us. I no longer felt vulnerable or exposed to the elements of opinion. "Skyclad. For making me skyclad."
"It's the best way to be, Ella." She cupped my face in her hands, tracing her thumb over my bottom lip.
"Especially with you."
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