by J. M. Dabney
Little
Trenton Security Book 2
J.M. Dabney
Hostile Whispers Press, LLC
Copyright © 2018 by J.M. Dabney Hostile Whispers Press, LLC
ISBN-13: 978-1-947184-19-0
Edits by AlternativEdits (Laura McNellis & Amber Krogh) Cover by: Reese Dante (reesedante.com) Cover content is for illustrative purposes only. Any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
REMEMBER:
This book is a work of fiction. All characters, places, and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places, is purely coincidental.
PLEASE BE ADVISED:
This book contains material that is only suitable for mature readers. It may contain scenes of a sexual nature and violence.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
This story contains scenes of extreme depictions of childhood trauma/violence. While it’s not written in great detail some readers may find the content objectionable.
To my Readers
Contents
Prologue
1. Do You Love Me?
2. Was He Just Kidnapped?
3. When Would He Learn Appropriate Behavior?
4. No Pain, No Gain
5. When Had Harmon Last Hung Out With a Man: Never
6. Harmon was So Sweet
7. So Beautiful
8. What Had He Gotten Himself In To?
9. Fuck, Not Now!
10. Did He Call Harmon His Boyfriend?
11. Harmon Wanted to Go Home and Have His Man Love on Him
12. Poe’s Man was Going to Puke
13. Would He Survive?
14. What Did They Do To His Man?
15. Was Any of It Real?
16. They Needed to Get His Man Out Now
17. Shock Treatments and So-Called Miracles
18. His Man Was Finally Home
19. Home is Where Love Exists
20. Harmon Needed Him
Epilogue
About the Author
Prologue
Collins, Mississippi 2001
Harmon Little hung his head as he stared down at the stained sheet he’d dragged across his lap. He smelled of stale beer, cigarette smoke, and sex. He hid his face to conceal the tears as the woman on the opposite side of the bed got dressed. She’d screamed when she’d awakened to find him watching her sleep. He’d started to brush her soft blonde hair from her face.
He’d just wanted to touch her. He liked touching—it made him feel like he was real. Not just a thing. Disposable and broken, that’s what he felt like after all the men and women used him. At fifteen, he didn’t know anything but the life he had lived since he’d run away. He didn’t much care for the sex. He always regretted it afterward, but the touching was nice. He’d suffer just to feel loved even if it was a lie.
The girl had wanted him last night. She’d held him close and said his name. Whispered it like he was special, but now she looked at him as if he were disgusting.
Choking back a sob, he turned his body away and attempted to hide behind the sheet he pulled up to his chest.
“Are you fucking crying? What kinda man cries like a baby?”
He flinched and tried to make himself smaller—invisible. Even as the tears quickly slipped down his cheeks, he watched her from the corner of his eye. He wanted to pull the memories of the night closer to shield himself from the disdain.
“A boy with a dick your size, shame you can’t use it. Such a fucking waste.” She spat the vile words in his direction as she hopped around while she was slipping her shoes on.
He jerked his gaze to the front and stared at the peeling paint and crumbling wall. He didn’t look at her as he listened to the click of her heels when she left his dirty room in an abandoned warehouse. He had a filthy mattress on the floor that he’d covered in trash bags. His clothes were shoved into a duffel. He’d have to scrounge change later to hit the laundry mat.
He’d considered that place home for almost two years since his last foster family called social services to come get him. He’d run before they had arrived. He didn’t mean to wear out his welcome. All he wanted was someone of his own—a family who wouldn’t throw him away.
He remembered a mom. She had hair his favorite color—yellow. Or at least he thought it was yellow. He’d sat on the floor of the social service’s waiting room drawing a picture.
The nice lady had asked his mom was she sure, he hadn’t understood until his mom had said that she hated him and didn’t want to be his mommy anymore.
The lady held him as he cried and tried to call her back, but she hadn’t even slowed down. Her heels had tapped a lot like the woman who’d just left.
He just wanted to be loved.
The men were worse because they just bent him over and fucked him. When they were done, they’d pushed him to the ground. They’d do up their pants and walk away after throwing money at him. At least the women let him have a night on occasion. He’d have to wait until they were asleep and he’d ease across the bed, slow as not to wake them up. He’d press his forehead against their arm, if he was lucky they smelled sweet and their skin would be soft. But again, it usually ended the same, a wad of money on the nightstand and forgotten as quickly as he was out of sight.
The woman who’d just left him, he’d thought she liked him. She’d smiled at him. Touched him and had even pressed her lips to his. He loved the kisses so much. He didn’t get those very often. He couldn’t remember the time before last night.
The tears started to fall again, and he angrily swiped at his cheeks. He shoved his bare feet into his unlaced boots and pushed the sheet aside. He surged to his feet and stomped over to his pack he’d hidden in the wall. He moved a piece of sheetrock to the side and pulled out his bag, and then he dug out a clean, threadbare towel and his only set of clean clothes.
There was a spigot where he could clean up, the water was cold, but he couldn’t show his face at the shelter anymore this week. Suspicion grew every time, and he couldn’t afford for them to call the cops or social services. His life was hell. Yet he didn’t want to go back only to be rejected again.
An old friend of his got himself an apartment. Sometimes they’d allow him to come by and take a shower. A real one where he didn’t have to be on a time limit. He had gone a few weeks ago, so he didn’t want to wear out his welcome.
He strode naked through the warehouse. The steps creaked and swayed a bit under his feet. He darted through the break in the wall and ran for the little enclosure he’d made. He hung his clothes on a few metal hangers he’d found, then pulled the mat down he’d cleaned and dried from hooks after his last shower. The broken hose he’d salvaged from the dump worked well enough with the old rusty bucket.
If nothing else he survived okay, but he wanted to do better than okay. He had a sliver of soap remaining, and he’d used it to wash the stench and memories away. He didn’t look at himself or let his touch linger; he didn’t want to know what they thought was so disgusting about him.
He knew he wasn’t pretty. He was too big and hairy for his age, but he thought he was nice. Maybe he wasn’t right in the head sometimes, but—he lowered his head as the tears started again. He reached for the rusty razor, drew it lightly across his wrist and wished he could do it this time.
He just wanted to know, why couldn’t someone just love him?
Do You Love Me?
Present Day
The moon hung brightly in the sky, an owl hooted in the distance, and Harmon stared up from where he was lying with his head on his best friend’s thigh. Lily was old enough to be his mother, but she was probably the best friend he’d ever had. There was no judgment of his crazy antics. He didn’t have to pretend to be something he wasn’t.
Her fingers rubbed circles on the top of his head as he passed her the blunt. He’d never had parents, and he only faintly remembered a mother. Her hair was blonde, and she had bright green eyes to match his, but he didn’t know if he’d conjured what he assumed his mother looked like. The memories faded more each year, and he didn’t fight it. He had no memory of a father at all; maybe the rest should fade as easily.
Lily stared off into space as she smoked. When he’d met her son Lucky years before, and then her, he’d been jealous. She was what he’d dreamed a mother would be. Honest, loving, and slightly insane like him. Everyone had given him shit for being too out there. It wasn’t like he’d meant to be, he just couldn’t help it. Sometimes the shit that came out of his mouth shocked even him.
“Do you love me,” he asked and was instantly embarrassed that he had.
She smacked his forehead and then went back to caressing his scalp with her nails. “Stupid question, of course, I love you, you’re perfect.”
He smiled at the serene expression on her face. He took the still smoking blunt back, placed it between his lips and inhaled deeply.
“But you’re not fucking my husband.”
He choked, and his lungs burned, and all Lily did was laugh as she looked down at him.
“What the fuck, Lily, he’s like my dad. Hot Dad, but still Dad.”
“Pervert. So, why the question? Don’t I make it clear enough?”
“I went on a date the other night.”
To be honest, he hadn’t wanted to go on the date. He’d fucked up several months previous and slept with someone he shouldn’t have. His dick and insecurity had gotten his best friend’s boyfriend kidnapped. He had just wanted to touch someone, and the man had let him kiss him. He wasn’t proud that he would’ve sold his soul for that kiss. All of that had blinded him as to what was really going down during that bathroom fuck session.
The guy hadn’t looked at him while he fucked him, but the before had been nice. The guy had just bent over for him, and he should’ve noticed the man’s fake groans and dirty talk. At the time, it hadn’t mattered so much as someone seemed to want him.
“Oh, please tell me you have details, hot, sweaty, nasty, can’t walk right details.”
And that was one of the reasons he loved Lily. She didn’t let life get her down. That could have something to do with the copious amounts of weed the woman smoked on the daily. But it didn’t change how he envied her don’t give a fuck attitude.
“No, he skipped out, said he had to go to the bathroom.”
The number of times he’d had dates skip out on him would be comical if it weren’t so fucking sad.
“Then he wasn’t worth your time. As I’ve said, you’re perfect, Harmon. Just like my own biological spawn.”
“Would you adopt me?”
“Already did. The moment you stepped into my house you were mine, just like with Priest, and Hunter and Wren. You’re just as special as Linus, Lou, and Lucky, and all my sons-in-law.”
“Do you think I’m unlovable?”
“Of course not, do you think I am?”
“No,” he shouted and then grimaced.
“Harmon, my sweet, crazy son.” She stroked his jaw.
He almost felt like crying. It wasn’t the first time she’d called him son and even Lily’s husband, Damon did it sometimes. Damon made sure to kiss the top of his head like he did with their children and their partners. He was never left out. It was odd, and the first few times he’d mentally questioned their intentions; what they wanted from him.
“One of these days you’ll meet someone just like I met Damon. It won’t be perfect. Others might not get it. But they don’t have to.”
“How will I know?”
He’d dreamed of having a relationship like Lily and Damon’s. Love and acceptance without conditions, it was almost too perfect, but like Lily had mentioned, people might not get it.
“Oh, if you’re like me and since you’re my kid, it’ll hit you. You’ll look at someone someday, and it’ll be like lightning struck. It’ll be primal. And perfect. I went home with Damon the first night I met him. We’ve barely been apart since.”
“Isn’t that a little quick?”
“When it’s right, it’s right. Don’t tell me you haven’t bedded someone the first night you met them.”
“Fuck no, but that was fucking, nothing emotional.” He didn’t want to talk about all the men and women who’d paid to fuck him in his past. It embarrassed him. He wasn’t ashamed he survived just how he’d gone about it. He’d had sex maybe a handful of times since he turned eighteen promising himself that the next would be special. Unfortunately, that hadn’t happened.
“You’ll find him, Harmon, or her.”
“They’ll think I’m too crazy.”
Lilly gave him another slap, and he rubbed his forehead.
“There’s nothing crazy about you. You’re unique, and the world is filled enough with carbon copies of the same. Be you, and your person will come along when you need them to.”
His other mother-figure, Peaches, and Lily apparently learned how to be a mother from the same handbook. That was exactly something Peaches had said to his friend Livingston when Liv had doubts about the man he wanted.
“Are you two coming in for dinner or not,” Damon yelled from the back door.
He laughed as Lily held up the relit blunt and listened to Damon’s heavy sigh. The older man appeared and took it, but not before he placed a kiss on Lily’s upturned lips. It might sound weird to others, but Lily and Damon were the perfect couple. Damon doted on his eccentric wife. He’d caught little things over the time he’d been around.
Damon fed Lily before he even made himself a plate. He touched her constantly when they were close. It was envy-inducing. But Lily said meeting your person was like being struck by lightning—he wondered if that were true.
“Okay, you two, dinner, now.”
He rolled to his feet, and the world spun a bit, he let out a laugh as he grabbed Lily’s hands and hauled her to her feet. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He lifted his head from where he’d buried his face against her throat. Damon watched them seemingly content and happy, and he wondered if he’d ever meet someone who made him that happy simply by being.
He let Lily drag him into the house. Lily’s plate was already full and sitting in front of her usual spot. He released her hand and went to grab the empty plate.
“Son, I already made your plate, sit.”
Damon pointed toward the table and nudged him. He’d assumed the plate was for Damon.
“Oh, thanks.” Damon did that for his kids. The kids plates were always made first, then Lily’s. He sat down and stared at the plate overflowing with food. A grown man shouldn’t tear up, but Damon hugged him and kissed the top of his head.
Damon poured himself and Lily wine, then Little covered his glass before a bottle of apple juice was placed beside his wineglass.
“Like I wouldn’t know what my kids like,” Damon muttered and settled in.
They ate and talked. It was just like all those silly dreams from when he was a kid. It was hard to accept, and he pretended it didn’t affect him. Luckily, Lily and Damon didn’t call him on it. He tried to relax and just enjoy before he had to head home. His place wasn’t nice but it was a roof, and that’s all he cared about.
Safety was only a fond dream as he darted through the crowds. Linus was going to kick his ass for this one. He’d crashed at Lily and Damon’s when he should’ve been home. Those two were way too loud, and he was too stoned to drive, so he’d le
ft straight from their house to work. No sleep and still buzzed. It would’ve figured someone would spot his big ass.
A week of tracking down some wanna-be gangster who was trying to unload a small quantity of uncut diamonds. The dude who owned the local jewelry store had a history of taking in stolen goods, but not since the man moved to Powers. It seemed he wanted to get back to his illegal activities and all the perks which came with that.
He glanced over his shoulder just as two mean looking security guys turned the corner, and he started into the store. Hoping like hell they hadn’t seen him.
“Little, quit running,” Brody, one of the cashiers, yelled at him. Brody was married to a friend of his named Trouble.
He waved as he pivoted and headed down an aisle. One minute he was hitting top stride, and then he smashed into something and looked down to find a tiny man sprawled across the floor.
“Oh shit, man, are you okay?” He fell to his knee beside the stranger. He checked for damage. He was a good fifty pounds heavier than the man he’d just taken out.
“I’m…I’m fine.”
The man’s voice was soft and sweet. Oh, he liked the sound of that. He straightened the man’s cute black framed glasses on his even cuter pug nose. His face was kind of narrow and his eyes rounded, the brightest fucking blue he’d ever seen. Then it was like five rapid punches to the gut.
Was this what Lily—he widened his eyes.
Boots pounding and Brody yelling for more people to stop running, he knew he was seconds from apprehension, but he wasn’t leaving the little man behind. Would he see him again if he did?