by Danube Adele
Someone needed to be a hero. I was deliberately leaving some of my food, thinking that I’d be able to walk some out to Raseen in the early morning. I gave a sharp look to the pillow I’d just been rolling around on and noted that the food I’d hidden there was now gone. My eyes sought Tabron’s. He was already watching me.
“You had plans to take food somewhere?”
My cheeks flushed defensively. “What does it matter?”
“One of the king’s mandates. No food can leave the palace.”
“Why? That doesn’t even make sense. It’s not like I’m raiding the kitchen and stealing food, this is the food I was given.”
“He’s afraid of being overrun by the village. He’s afraid of revolt.”
“He should be! Look at how he’s treating his own people. I haven’t been here long and even I’ve heard people talk longingly of times past when things were better.”
“He’s doing what he thinks is best,” Tabron insisted. “I’m paid to lead my men, not run the nation.”
“At least you’re getting paid!” I set my plate down on the tray. “I know you think you owe him some loyalty for taking care of you, but look around. It’s once for you and twice for him. He’s got you so grateful, you won’t even consider that he’s a tyrant!”
“He’s taken care of many of us who didn’t have homes. He fed us and gave us clothing and shelter. He’s treated me with care.”
“So that he can have you under his thumb! You know what’s happening in town, but you’re willing to look away. Well fine. You can look away, but I can’t. You don’t know what it’s like to watch your child wither before your eyes.”
“Ceci!”
“It’s pathetic. I’m sorry your family died, Tabron, but it should have made you more empathetic, not heartless. Your father taught you, but you choose not to pay attention to his lessons and instead you take the easy route and closed everyone else out. What would your father think of your actions? Would he agree with the way the king is treating the people? I can’t even take my own food and share it? Children, Tabron. The future. This is when they grow strong bones and muscles, but you take a look at those children and see the hollowed out faces and stringy arms and legs. You think this won’t have an effect on their brain development?”
“You know nothing of my father, so leave him out of this. I wish I hadn’t told you about him.”
It hurt to hear that, but I tried not to let it show. “Because you know I’m right.”
“We’re surviving!”
“I won’t survive here. Don’t you understand? None of you will be able to survive here indefinitely. There’s no food, the people are frightened for their lives, and the king is quickly losing his faculties. He won’t even allow me to help him. Do you understand?”
“I understand that you have all the answers, and you look down on us with pity in your eyes. We’ve survived without modern conveniences when you’ve lived in a world that brims with anything you want. It’s you that doesn’t understand how much pain we have all suffered, but you have all the answers?”
That sounded too much like Carlos telling me I was selfish and only thought of myself.
“Who is Carlos?” he ground out through clenched teeth.
Stubbornly lifting my chin, I said, “He’s the man I’d planned to marry and spend the rest of my life with.”
“Where is he?”
“Obviously, he’s not here.”
“You love this man?”
“I’ll always love him.”
The hurt registered on his face. I’d scored the point. One for one, and it didn’t make me feel better.
Tabron didn’t have a response other than to yank on his pants, throw on his shirt and stomp into his boots. Then he was out the door. Why did it not feel good to win? Why were tears welling up and spilling down my cheeks? Why did I want to go after him and sooth him, tell him the truth about Carlos. I’d deliberately been misleading, making him think Carlos was still alive. Instead, I put our plates on a side table by the bed and pulled out my smartphone. I’d forgotten to turn it off, so it was at minimal charge, but I couldn’t resist looking at a few of my pictures.
My mother and father at breakfast, friends at a club when we all went out for happy hour, my cousins at various places with me. Before I realized it, I’d fallen into full sobs. I missed them. This world didn’t make sense. Back home, my mother would be planning for everyone to come over for Thanksgiving. She and my aunties would be talking menus for the coming holidays because they enjoyed doing everything together. On Thanksgiving, we would all work together in the kitchen all day to put together delicious food, and the air would be spiced with spontaneous cheers as the football game blared from multiple rooms in the house.
What was really eating me, though, was that I wanted to know where Tabron had gone. Where was he going to spend the night? Was he all right? I shouldn’t have mentioned his father. Why did I have to be so hurtful? It was what I’d done with Carlos that night. It was like I knew their weaknesses, and I was able to exploit them to get my way. And Jonell had died. It only made me cry harder, which I did into my pillow.
“Shhhh. Don’t cry.” A soft kiss touched the back of my shoulder. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
Hearing Tabron’s deep voice wrapped me with tenderness, and I turned over, suddenly so glad that he was back. He wiped tears from my cheeks, a tortured look on his face as though he couldn’t stand to see me cry.
I cupped his jaw. “Come back to bed.” We couldn’t seem to stop hurting each other, but this, at least, we did well.
He was already toeing his boots off and shoving his pants down as I reached for the hem of his shirt. It was barely over his head before I pulled him down, fusing my lips to his, loving the feel of him the taste of him. My heart pounded and my sex pulsed with anticipation. He caught himself on his hands on either side of me, pushed the covers away and settled over me, one of his thighs resting between my legs. Wanting to feel as much of him as I could, I wound one of my legs over his, trapping him there, and ran my hands over the play of muscles on his back, enjoying the sensual rub of skin on skin. I just couldn’t get enough.
“You have such an effect on me.” He said this as his lips slid to the side of my neck. His erection had grown and was hard and hot against sensitive skin of my lower abdomen. My whimper of need had me rubbing against it, but not for long. He was already pulling away...
“What—”
“I promised you a reward, didn’t I?” His eyes looked positively, sinfully dark and wicked as he lapped at one nipple and sucked on the other, making me gasp.
“What’s the reward?” But I knew, and the excitement alone made my inner muscles clench. He was going to taste me. The sly smile said it all.
Lingering kisses over my abdomen had me panting, waiting. He was enjoying the game of making me wait. But then he was there. His hot tongue swirled my clit that was swollen with need and demanding attention, and my body almost came off the bed. Heat like never before coursed my veins and my breathing grew ragged.
“Ah! Oh God! Tabron!” His tongue speared my center and heat seared me from the inside. My hips wanted to grind on his wicked mouth, but his arms were wrapped around my thighs, holding me pinned wide open, like I was a feast and he was starving.
“Taste so good,” he growled, vibrating the delicate skin of my lips before finding the swollen nubbin of flesh and sucking it between his lips. My cries grew continuous, breathless, involuntary. I was going out of my mind, my body growing tighter and tighter, my breathing more like gasps of air just to keep me alive. Then I felt his finger slide into me, fingered my inner walls and my whole body unraveled on a final stroke. My cry was sharp, my body quaked with the waves of pleasure that swept over me.
My body was still quaking when he came to rest body to bod
y, skin to skin, his hips pressing between my thighs, his rock-hard length ready for more pleasure. Our eyes met for a quiet moment, forgiveness asked for and given with the depth of our gaze. I found that it hurt me to hurt him. His lips found mine again, and I tasted the salty tang of my orgasm. I wanted to taste him, see if I could drive him as insane as he’d driven me, but he read my thoughts.
“I would want that another time. Right now, I want to be inside you. I want to feel your soft sheath squeezing me.”
The thought of feeling so filled again made my heart stumble. He needed to be inside me now. I felt too empty. “Yes. Please. You feel so good inside me.”
Even as I said it, his thick, hard length nudged my opening and my hands curled around his ass. With one surge he thrust himself to the hilt and paused, his breath turning ragged against my lips. Automatically, my inner muscles tightened on his cock, holding it in place, and we both moaned with the beauty of the feel.
“Do it again,” I whispered, our lips resting against each other. Unable to help himself, the heat of his tongue swept my mouth again at the same time he gave another long, slow thrust. I met it with a moaning sigh. It just didn’t get better than this. I wanted to stay like this forever. His hands framed my face as though it were precious and he continued to nibble and suck while driving me out of my mind with his steady thrusts. It was just hot enough to keep me on the edge, my body burning for more.
“I love to hear the sounds you make, Ceci.” he murmured against my lips.
“I never knew...”
Then he picked up the pace, his thrusts coming just a bit harder, just a bit faster. He was hitting a magic internal spot that flashed me with sensation after sensation. I could hear his guttural need as he pounded into me, his hips pistoning. The heat was building and building. My legs clung to his waist, my arms to his shoulders so I could hold on and not lose the perfect alignment.
“No one else,” he ground out, curving his hands under my ass. “No one else.”
Out of my mind and unable to process his words fully, I gasped out, “Don’t stop. Don’t stop!” The rub was exquisite. Hotter. Wilder. Wetter. Our lips clung as the heat drove us up to the pinnacle and we fell over the edge, feeding each other shouts of completion.
Sleep came quickly and completely.
* * *
The garden behind my parents’ house was in full bloom. It had a beautiful old oak tree that was hundreds of years old in the middle of it, with comfortable chairs under the shade of its limbs. Grass and wildflowers lined a walkway just beyond the shade that led to a lower terrace where the pool sparkled in the sunlight.
I always loved being here, Carlos admitted. We were sitting in the Adirondack chairs wearing comfy jeans and T-shirts, our bare feet up on ottomans under the shade.
It’s peaceful here. I turned to him. He looked good. Relaxed. There was a new maturity to his face that hadn’t been there before.
Your family was always so warm and welcoming. Anyone could come over, and they’d be handed a plate of food and told to pull up a chair. A thoughtful expression crossed his face. My family was very different from that.
I know. His father had been gone from the time he was a baby.
But your dad, your uncles and your grandpa really took me in. They showed me how to be a man. I appreciated that.
You were part of the family, Carlos. You knew that.
I did. I didn’t know anything else. We were always together.
I nodded, seeing the truth of it for the first time. We hadn’t even given anyone else a chance. Likely, in time, we would have split up but remained good friends.
You know that’s true, he offered, hearing my thoughts.
I nodded. But it was hard to see that when I was sixteen. Everything felt so immediate.
We were...
...children. Just like my grandmother was telling me, just like Henry was telling me.
I couldn’t save the boy. The hurt from that was still fresh. Guilt always ate at me, whether I was aware of it or not.
He wasn’t going to be able to live. His lungs were too damaged, but you wouldn’t have been able to see that.
Then why send him to me?
Did you learn something from him? He cocked his head with a questioning look.
It suddenly occurred to me that he was asking out of curiosity, not because he was trying to test me or be a smartass. He honestly didn’t know. You somehow get the wink when someone needs special attention?
I do. He grinned. I like how you put that.
Well, I thought about the kid and what had transpired. He had some unexplainable injuries, and no one knew where he’d come from. His sudden appearance was fishy. Why in the world would anyone go out of their way to kill a kid?
So it raised some questions.
And set into motion the removal of one of the most dangerous guys in the palace, someone who was out to get me. He was like a super bully.
Don’t turn your back. You know guys like that don’t give up.
Yeah. It was strange to see that he looked even less solid than the last time we were together. Slowly, by degrees, he was fading. What’s next for you?
Ceci...The look on his face became serious.
I know.
You don’t.
You’re not coming back. I shook my head, feeling the sadness of the moment. I was going to live my life, but he didn’t get to have one. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I’m so sorry about that night. I wish I could do it over. Tears welled up in my eyes. I blinked rapidly, but ended up having to wipe then away.
C, it wasn’t your fault.
But it was. If I hadn’t—
Shit happens. That’s it. What you aren’t realizing is that we should have been able to stand there all night long in safety. We weren’t doing anything wrong. You have to let it go. It really wasn’t your fault.
You have to be mad at me, don’t you? Shouldn’t you be?
No. He nudged my foot nearest to his and smiled. I’m excited. There’s so much to see, so much to do. You’ll see it one day.
Truly?
Truly. I’m happy, C. Really. Believe it.
And I was suddenly okay with that.
He smiled again. It’s time, don’t you think? We were both too scared to move on, but...
It’s time to part. What brought tears to my eyes was knowing that I would not be seeing my oldest, dearest friend for a long time.
But know that there are wonderful things coming my way. I’ll be traveling with Jonell.
Really? So soon?
He’s ready. I guess he’s not carrying the same weight I was. He stood, holding his arms out. I love you, Ceci-girl.
Take care of yourself. I’ll always love you. I stepped into his arms and felt the tears slide down my cheeks. I knew this was going to be the last time we came together like this in a dream.
Ceci? At the same time I heard my name, I felt his energy wrap around me. A quick look over my shoulder, and I saw Tabron was there, giving a sharp look around as though trying to determine where he was, but not lose sight of me. His look was a mixture of confusion, anger and hurt. It was the latter that made my heart tighten.
It’s not what you think. Carlos is—
This is Carlos? His nostrils flared, his jaw tightened.
I looked back at Carlos and saw that he was already fading away. It struck me that I wasn’t going to see him anymore, but still, I was more anxious that Tabron not get the wrong idea. I turned away from Carlos, wanting to talk with Tabron, but he was already backing away from me, shaking his head.
Let me explain!
There’s nothing to explain. His voice was grim. My father did teach me something when I was a boy. In watching him, I learned not to waste time on a woman who doesn’t want me.
He faded out of my dream then.
Chapter Fourteen
I wasn’t expecting Tabron to be fully dressed and sitting beside me on the bed when I woke up. One of his large hands was stroking my bare arm, and there was a solemn look on his face. My stomach tensed. What was this about? What was about to happen? Was he going to tell me he didn’t want to be with me anymore? That I was going to have to pick another person?
The thought alone made my heart hurt.
“Get dressed,” he said quietly. “I want to show you something.”
“Okay.” My voice had some sleep rust in it.
“I’ll wait for you outside.” He got up and left.
Somewhat bemused and still feeling sleepy, I ran a quick half bath, cleaning even as the water poured from the spigot, before drying off and heading toward the wardrobe. A simple green riding dress in the sort of culotte style Tarra had had on before would do the trick. I didn’t have any fresh underthings, so the extra sense of freedom felt odd, but I didn’t want to keep Tabron waiting. I wanted to know what this was about.
Nearly ten minutes later, with my hair tied back and a flush riding my cheeks, I met him in front of the palace. He was on his horse, waiting for me. When he saw me, he held out his hand, and using his stirrup and his firm grip, he pulled me up behind him.
“Hold on to me.”
Gladly. My arms slid around his tunic, and we began to lope easily once my hands were gripping the lean muscles of his stomach. I rested the side of my face against his back, feeling the warmth of his body. In the quiet of the morning, with the early mist continuing to cling to the air, memories of the previous night slid through my mind. The feel of his hands on me, the way he’d tasted me, driving me insane with need, and how he felt being full and thick inside me.
My fingernails curled into him involuntarily.
“Behave,” he said softly, but ran a hand over my leg in a firm caress.
“What?” I asked innocently, though my body was enjoying a quiet hum, somehow energized with the feel of him, a connectedness that was becoming common.