by D. L. Boyles
Whirling around, she shoved past Florian and stomped out of the stables all the way to her room, heedless of anyone who might have seen her.
Chapter Four
Heartache and Happiness
In the morning, Florian was standing sullenly outside her door, greeting her and her ladies in waiting as they hurried off to breakfast. Her mother and father said nothing to her about her disappearance from the ball, but according to Sloane, everyone was well aware that the princess had skipped out on her own birthday party.
“We thought you were with Prince Lionel,” Sloane whispered as they sat waiting to be served. “He turned up missing last night as well. But this morning, a messenger told your father that he had urgent business and needed to depart early.” She quieted as a servant placed a bowl of fruit before them, continuing down the line to serve the rest of the guests. “Think of the rumors, though. Not everyone will know that he left but most everyone will believe the two of you had a late-night rendezvous.”
Audora wondered how Sloane knew anything about the message her father received. Or anything about Prince Lionel at all. While it might sound scandalous, Sloane was not in the least offended on Audora’s behalf. No, it would be fantastic gossip to spread and her own ladies in waiting would be instrumental in spreading it.
Sloane was a beautiful girl. In truth, she was not much of a girl, being that she was two years older than Audora. She was tall and slender with curves in all the right places. Her hair fell in luxurious, loose curls that spiraled past her shoulders without a hint of unruliness. She’d never seen Sloane use any creams or oils to smooth her hair to keep it from unwanted frizz, even on the most humid days. With perfectly full lips and a few well-placed beauty marks that made Sloane look simultaneously sophisticated and exotic, her looks drew the attention of the opposite sex in droves. Sloane’s downfall came in her personality. She giggled foolishly and flaunted herself shamelessly, never engaging in conversation beyond gossip and tedious subjects in which she could insert her judgmental opinions; opinions rarely based on any kind of relative knowledge. Simply stated, she was a twit.
Audora shifted her attention from her lady in waiting to scan the room. The elegant dining hall shimmered with crystal and well-polished silver mixed in amongst all of the gold. Along the wall behind her parents’ table was a large window framed by large glass doors on either side. Those doors exited onto a balcony and looked out across the gardens a level beneath them. From where Audora sat, she could see the tops of the flowering cherry trees and the glint of sun off of the white marble columns that lined the balcony. Her parents sat together, her father sipping his drink, a sparkling concoction he always favored and was rarely seen without, and her mother was smiling like a victorious soldier home from war. What she was so pleased about, Audora couldn’t begin to guess. She expected her mother to scowl at her, but she seemed not to even glance in her direction this morning.
Along the wall, Florian stood several paces apart from the other guards in the room, but she noticed that he looked in her direction more than duty required. His words from last night echoed in her mind. How I feel will never be accepted. How did he feel, exactly? What had he meant by that? Audora sighed. It drew Sloane’s curious gaze for a moment before she glanced across the room at Florian then resumed her chatter with Marquis D’Lugiel, seated on her other side.
After breakfast, Audora strolled through the gardens, Sloane and Rebecca giggling to one another, likely establishing far-fetched gossip to spread later. Her heart longed to run to the stables, to go to Peter. For as far back as her memory served, she had told him her secrets, had enjoyed his silent presence and his sweet demeanor. His rejection last night still stung, the memory of it making her heart clench tight in her chest. She loved Peter. Her poor broken heart knew it. Why didn’t he?
“Darling, why such a sad face?” Her mother floated towards her, Merriweather close behind with the typical following of ladies, maids, and dignitaries. They all trailed behind her, copying her movements, her hair styles, her clothing. Some of them even dyed their hair to try and match her mother’s golden locks. If it were possible, Audora guessed they’d even change their eyes to the same deep blue. She loved her mother, she really did, but today she was not feeling accepting of her mother’s outrageous behaviors and demeanor. Unlike Sloane, her mother was intelligent and capable of running their kingdom; however, like Sloane, she presented herself as foolish and extravagant.
“Good morning, Mother.”
Her mother fluffed Audora’s skirt and swept her hand through her hair with a sweet smile. “You look upset.” The queen glanced over Audora’s shoulder and scanned her following. “Do your ladies no longer please you? Have you need for something, my sweet?”
“They please me, Mother. It’s just—”
“—I know,” her mother whispered harshly, leaning towards Audora. “I am just as frustrated as you that Prince Lionel lured you from your party then made you look the fool by dashing away. He should have stayed the day, at least, to make his intentions known rather than leave you to deal with the fall out.”
“What?” Audora should have known that her mother would believe such rumors. She constantly wanted Audora to ‘find true love.’ “No, Mother. You misunderstand. I was not with Prince Lionel last night, I…” What was she doing last night? Throwing herself at the stable boy. She couldn’t exactly tell her mother such a thing. “I, um…Well, I needed some time to myself.”
“It’s the curse, I know. But don’t worry, my sweets, we will find your true love’s kiss before your next birthday. Love in a year,” she chirped so loudly that everyone within hearing began clapping their hands and cooing ridiculously. More quietly, she leaned in and whispered, “We shall have more parties. Only the best for my darling.” Then, she kissed Audora’s cheek and flitted away, the herd of women in her wake.
Once her mother disappeared, Audora persuaded Rebecca and Sloane to entertain some of the younger guests in the game room. She promised that she’d join them, but they needed little persuasion to leave the gardens. Neither of them enjoyed the outdoors and complained often about their complexions being affected by the sun. With a final flirty glance at Captain Florian, Sloane took Rebecca’s arm and the two faded away from view. Audora was glad they left. Now, only Captain Florian trailed behind her at a cautious distance.
The gardens were massive. It was the work of her mother and Merriweather. They both enjoyed flowers and working with plants. Despite her mother’s frivolous ways, she also enjoyed getting her hands in the dirt and making things grow. Queen Isadora had a knack for such things and much to Audora’s chagrin, she’d not inherited that knack at all. There were fields of flowers, towering trees, and endless rows of various hedges, some so thick that even the resident rabbits and squirrels could not maneuver their way through. A small hedge of briar rose grew along the furthest wall, fenced in with large scrolling wrought iron. A few feet before the hedge began, a knee-high stone wall separated them from the walkway. Audora always wondered why her mother kept them in the garden when she knew they would one day be Audora’s undoing. That was the only part of the garden Audora avoided. Not once had her foot stepped within fifty feet of those roses; not since she’d learned what they were and had fully understood the reality of her curse.
Taking a path that led away from the briar rose patch, she turned a corner and strolled along a darker section where the lidacia trees sprawled their branches up and over the pathway on both sides, forming a thick canopy overhead. Just beyond the trees was a stone wall with burgundy ajuga vining itself along the entire surface. Overall, the combination of the walls and trees made this hundred-foot section of the path completely cool, shaded, and private. It was here that Audora stopped, stepped off of the path, and leaned against the cool stone wall and soft leaves of the ajuga. And it was here that she closed her eyes and tried to avoid thinking of anything at all.
“Princess Audora?”
Captain Florian’s voice wa
s quiet and cautious. Audora opened her eyes after a moment of silence and turned to face him. “Yes, Captain Florian?”
“I know it’s nothing to do with Prince Lionel. What is bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?”
Audora let out a very unladylike snort. “You seem to know a lot about what I think. There should be little need for me to talk to you about any of it.”
He shifted nervously, glancing around before stepping off of the path in her direction. “You are young. And so much emphasis has been placed on finding true love,” he said with a mocking emphasis on ‘true love,’ “and I think it has made something that is already confusing even more so.”
“Because I couldn’t possibly love a stable boy?”
The captain ran a nervous hand through his hair. “You could. I admit that it is entirely possible, but…”
“But?”
“Well, I don’t think you truly love him.”
“Tell me, Captain Florian, why do you think I don’t truly love him?”
“For starters, you know nothing about him.”
That was absurd. Peter was her only friend in all the kingdom, in all the world. Of course, she knew things about him. “I know all there is to know about Peter Achenyule.”
“Really?” Florian’s tone snapped from comforting to annoyed. “Who are his friends? Where does he go on his days off? What does he do?”
“I am his friend.” As far as she knew, he didn’t have any other friends. They were alike that way. Weren’t they? “And I assume he goes to town on his days off, purchases clothes or other essentials.” Florian snorted almost exactly as she had done earlier. It grated on her nerves. “Well, then, all-knowing captain, do you know those things about Peter?”
“Actually, I do. On his days off, he spends time at one of the local taverns, but only in the evenings. He plays cards with a group of friends, men who, like him, work hard for their livings. I’ve never seen him with a woman beyond the ones who periodically join their game, but I also haven’t seen where he goes or what he does before he gets to the tavern.”
“Are you suggesting that he…he…” she could barely force herself to say the words. “That he…has a…woman he sees?”
Florian shrugged. “I don’t know that he does,” he told her, “but neither do you.”
She’d know if Peter had a woman he was interested in. Wouldn’t she? She should have known that he had a group of friends he played cards with, but she didn’t. What else didn’t she know about him?
“Do you know what he is saving his money up for? Does he have plans beyond being a stable boy all his life?”
“I…” No. The answer was that she did not know any of these things. The look on Florian’s face told her that he knew the same. “And because I don’t know those things, I cannot love him?”
“Not truly,” Florian told her, a sad look on his face. It was the first hint of sympathy she’d seen in him all day. “Love, true love, Princess Audora, comes from knowing a man and being known by him. Even the ugly things that no one else is willing to overlook. It is more than sweet smiles and fleeting feelings.”
There was so much conviction in his words that Audora couldn’t help but feel that he knew what it was like to love a woman. His words from last night echoed in her mind. He felt that way about someone and knew that someone didn’t feel that way for him. She shivered a little, wondering if it were her he had meant. That frightened her, so she ignored it. If it was her, he was right, she did not feel that way about him and would not accept those feelings. Despite all that he told her, she was determined to prove that she loved Peter—and that he loved her.
∞∞∞
It was foolish—and that was exactly how she felt—to go to the stables, especially with Captain Florian trailing behind her, his huff of disbelief replaying in her mind when she told him what she planned. That would not deter her, however. If nothing else, she owed Peter an apology.
She found him brushing down one of the pregnant mares. It was the beautiful red roan with the unusually vibrant mane and tail. Audora had ridden her a few times, but she was mostly reserved for more experienced riders. And as much as Audora enjoyed riding, she was by no means good enough to ride the more spirited horses. With that realization, she wondered immediately who rode this red roan regularly. As that thought struck her, an endless flow of questions surfaced. Did Peter ride the red roan? Did Peter ride all of the horses in the stables? What other horses did Peter ride? What else did she not know about him? She turned to look at Captain Florian, agitated with him for causing her mind to work this way; to doubt how much she knew about Peter, the one friend she had in all the world.
“Hello, Peter,” she said quietly.
Peter glanced up at her but did not stop brushing the roan. “Princess Audora.”
She didn’t like the way he sounded when he greeted her, but she was determined, so she pressed on. “Are you very busy?”
“I am. I won’t stop you if you’d like to visit the stables, though. Brill would be happy to see you.”
Brill was the horse she often rode. He was an older palomino gelding, gentle and sweet. His stall was also on the other side of the stables. “I was actually hoping that I could apologize to you.” Peter rose an eyebrow but did not look at her for long. “It was wrong of me to put you in danger, Peter. I know that my sneaking into your room and continuously asking you to sneak me out of the stables put you at risk for losing your position here and maybe…worse. I am sorry.” Still, he said nothing. “You’re my only friend, Peter, and I should have taken greater care with your feelings.”
Finally, Peter stopped brushing the mare and stepped toward the rail where she stood. “Thank you. I accept your apology, Princess Audora.” He smiled at her. “I wish to continue being your friend. We may need to seek permission rather than sneak around to ride together, but…” He glanced over at Florian, who was trying not to stare at them, his eyes darting around the stables as though looking for something to occupy himself with. “But I am afraid we can only ever be friends,” he told her softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“You say that, Peter,” she whispered back, “but I do not believe you.”
“If you cannot accept these terms…”
“I accept them. Friends,” she said. She did not accept them, but she didn’t want to hear what ultimatum Peter was about to give her. “Only friends.” She held out her hand to shake his. “We shall shake on it, Peter Achenyule. For as long as we shall live, I will be your friend—a better one from here on out.”
Peter smiled, but it wasn’t a triumphant one. It was sad. That, at least, gave Audora a sense of satisfaction; knowing she was not the only one to find this arrangement less than agreeable.
With that, they shook hands and she left with the excuse that she had somewhere to be. There was no where she needed to go; maybe he knew it or maybe he didn’t, but he never said a word, just waved a farewell. Florian knew it, however, and followed her dutifully across the courtyard, down the narrow alleyway between the outer buildings, and into the old brew house. There, out of sight of others, Audora allowed herself to crumble to the floor and cry once more. She cried and cried, almost forgetting about Captain Florian until she felt him pull her from the floor and into his arms. Only her father had ever held her in such a way. Her mother had given her hugs periodically and showy kisses on her cheeks but never had she held her. Florian wrapped her in a warm embrace and she was undone. Clinging to him, her tears flowed like a swollen river.
It could have been ten minutes, ten hours, or ten days based on how exhausted she felt afterwards. Eventually, her tears ceased and left her with stuttering breath as she continued to cling to Captain Florian. He allowed her to get her breathing under control before he slowly stepped away. He looked almost as sad as she did.
“You think me a foolish child, don’t you?” she asked him, wiping her trembling hands across her face.
“I think you are young and confuse
d and stuck in an impossible situation.”
“Because I believe myself in love with someone who does not love me back?” she asked.
“No. Because there is incredible pressure placed on you to find love before you’ve even had a chance to find yourself.”
“Have you ever thought you were in love, Captain Florian?”
Florian chuckled softly. “More than once. At your age, I fancied myself in love at least a half dozen times.”
“And you never pursued any of the women?”
“Oh,” he sighed, nodding his head and raising his brows. “I pursued each of them. To my mortification, I pursued them all and was left thoroughly perplexed when none panned out.”
She gave him a little smile and ran a hand over her dress to smooth the wrinkles. “Love is a confusing thing, isn’t it?”
He shook his head. “Not love. That isn’t confusing, exactly. It is filtering through the other emotions that tend to obscure the view.”
She wanted to ask him more but was afraid of what he might say, what he might reveal.
Something shuffled just outside, making Audora jump. Florian’s hand flew to his sword, his eyes scanning warily the space around them. “I think we should get you inside, Princess,” he told her after he’d carefully looked around. “It is getting late in the morning and your mother will be wondering why you’ve not joined in the games.”
∞∞∞
Marquis D’Lugiel proved to be an entertaining distraction for Audora’s broken heart. They played hartstone, a board game meant for children that he managed to make enjoyable, and a few rounds of cards. Audora had never played a single game of cards before, but after finding out that Peter did, she was curious about such a game. The marquis insisted on playing Rook, a tricky card game with a specialized deck he had brought along. Understanding the trump suit and which suit to play confused her, so Captain Florian stepped alongside her and offered pointers. It was nice to have him helping her and, she realized, it was not the first time he’d done so today.