by Amy Cheung
“You probably had it the best out of the three of us, with Sam,” Yau Ying said.
“What do you mean?”
“You two broke up right when you loved each other the most. That’s the best way to do it.”
“I don’t think so at all,” I said.
“I didn’t think anyone could do that, but you did.”
“I’ve regretted breaking up with him every time. I always felt so bad afterwards that I kept getting back together with him. Our breakup is for the best.”
Yau Ying and I took the minibus back to the store. The driver had the radio on, and the host of the program had a lovely voice.
“It’s her voice!” I said grabbing Yau Ying’s sleeve.
“That’s her?” Yau Ying seemed confounded. It was as if the suspect was suddenly in our midst.
“I’ve heard this voice before. It’s so alluring,” I said.
“Are you sure it’s her?”
Of course I couldn’t be sure—I’d only heard her voice once on the phone—but it was a striking one.
“They sound really similar, but I can’t say for certain.”
“Excuse me, driver, what station are we listening to?” Yau Ying asked the driver.
“How am I supposed to know? Whatever station gets a clear signal,” the driver said.
Yau Ying went up to the front of the bus to see for herself, then she looked at her watch. “Right now it’s five past ten, so it’s the evening show.”
“Even if she is the woman who called Daihoi, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything suspicious about their relationship,” I said.
“I have to investigate. I have to find out what this woman looks like. Are you free around this time tomorrow?”
The next day, Yau Ying came looking for me.
“Last night I got home at ten forty,” she said. “Daihoi was listening to that woman’s radio show.”
“It could’ve been a coincidence.”
“Let’s go to the station tonight,” Yau Ying said.
“What do you actually want to do there?”
Yau Ying wanted to stand outside the station and wait for her to come out.
That night, we met up outside the station.
“We’re like rock-star groupies, hanging out like this,” I said.
Yau Ying led me over to the bushes by the side, and said, “If we stand here, we don’t have to worry about people seeing us. Also, Daihoi won’t discover us if he comes to pick her up when she finishes work.”
“If you really do see Daihoi coming to pick her up when she finishes work, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t go up to her.”
“Why not?”
“I’d be afraid of seeing the man I love in love with another woman,” I said.
“That must be her!” Yau Ying said.
A tall woman with short hair came out of the radio station. She was wearing jeans and a black halter top under a leather jacket.
“Whoa! 34C!” I sized up her measurements in the blink of an eye. Her figure was rather average, but her breasts were the most beautiful kind of all—the kind that are like a pair of mangoes.
“34C.” Yau Ying appeared to have suffered a crushing blow.
“We don’t know for certain that it’s her,” I said.
“Go ask,” Yau Ying prodded me.
The woman stood on the sidewalk, waiting for a taxi. Summoning my courage, I stepped up and said, “I’m a loyal fan. I just love listening to your show.”
The woman appeared slightly stunned at first, but then she smiled. She’d probably never seen anyone as old as me loitering outside the station doors like a crazed young fan waiting for her idol.
“Thank you. What are you doing here so late?”
I recognized the sound of her voice. She was the one.
A taxi pulled up right in front of us.
“Bye!” She called as she climbed into the taxi.
My pager went off. It was Chui Yuk.
“Well? Was it her?” Yau Ying asked as she came over from the other side of the street.
I nodded.
Yau Ying hailed a cab.
“Where are we going?” I asked her.
“We’re following her.” Yau Ying dragged me into the car.
I used Yau Ying’s cell phone to call Chui Yuk.
“Chow Jeoi, where are you?”
“I’m in a cab with Yau Ying.”
“I want to see you. I’ll come meet you guys,” Chui Yuk said.
“Don’t hang up yet,” I told Chui Yuk.
The taxi we were following eventually stopped in front of a convenience store on Lock Road.
“I’m at a convenience store on Lock Road,” I told Chui Yuk, then hung up.
The woman went into the convenience store, paid for a bowl of noodles and a beer, then started eating inside. Yau Ying and I stood outside watching her.
Suddenly someone came up from behind us, scaring us half to death. It was Chui Yuk.
“How’d you get here so fast?” I was amazed.
“I happened to be in the area,” Chui Yuk said. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Shh!” I gestured for her to stop talking.
When the woman had finished her noodles, she left the shop and entered a nearby apartment building.
“Who is she?” Chui Yuk asked.
“Daihoi didn’t show up,” I told Yau Ying.
“Will you two come grab a drink with me, please?” Chui Yuk asked, with a pleading note in her voice. “Today was the first day of production!”
It was only then that I noticed how much makeup she was wearing and that her hair had been permed into an unruly mess of curls. She was wearing a tank top and a miniskirt with a jacket draped over her shoulders.
Chui Yuk covered her face and started to cry. “The work is really hard!”
“Let’s find somewhere to get a drink,” Yau Ying said, putting her arm around Chui Yuk.
We went to a nearby bar and grabbed a table. I felt bad that I hadn’t been looking after Chui Yuk. I had no idea that she’d already started filming.
“Why are you upset?” Yau Ying asked Chui Yuk.
“Did the director try to take advantage of you or make you do something you didn’t want to do?” I asked. Chui Yuk dried her eyes and looked at Yau Ying and me. Then suddenly, as though seized with anguish, she threw her head into her arms on the table and started bawling.
“Tell us what happened,” Yau Ying said.
“Do you know what it feels like to strip naked in front of other people? All these men I don’t even know!” Chui Yuk continued sobbing.
“I told you not to do it.”
“I’ll get used to it soon,” Chui Yuk said, wiping her eyes.
“Do you think the price you paid today was worth it? Won’t you regret this in the future?” I asked her indignantly.
“I’ve never loved a man this much in my life,” Chui Yuk said through gritted teeth. “His happiness is my happiness.”
“Does he know you’re crying right now?” I asked.
“Why does he need to know that I’m crying? His publishing house is holding its launch tomorrow. Yu Mogwo is at the new office right now, getting everything ready. He finally has a business of his own. Why should I make him watch me cry?”
I was at a loss for words. I’d thought that I was self-sacrificing, but Chui Yuk was even more self-sacrificing. I could never do what she had just done. Or maybe it wasn’t that I couldn’t do it—it was that I’d never been given an opportunity to make that kind of sacrifice for someone I loved.
“Why were you guys following that woman just now?” Chui Yuk asked us.
I told Chui Yuk the whole story behind the woman.
“But you still don’t have any proof that she’s the other woman!” Chui Yuk took Yau Ying’s hand and tried to comfort her.
“She’s a 34C, isn’t that right?” Yau Ying asked me.
<
br /> “According to my expert judgment, that’s about her measurement,” I said. “Daihoi wouldn’t fall in love with a 34C, would he?”
“Well, 34C isn’t that big,” Chui Yuk said.
“You’re prettier than that woman,” I told Yau Ying.
“You think?” All of Yau Ying’s self-confidence seemed to have vanished.
“If you don’t believe me, ask Chui Yuk.”
Chui Yuk nodded and said, “I’ve always thought that you were really pretty.”
“Thanks, you two.” Yau Ying forced a smile.
“Hasn’t Daihoi ever complimented you?” Chui Yuk asked her.
“No matter how beautiful a woman is, that beauty becomes ordinary in a man’s eyes after a while,” she said.
“Are you guys going to interrogate Daihoi?” Chui Yuk asked.
“No,” I said. “Yau Ying has never even told him that she loves him. How’s she ever going to interrogate him?”
“If Yu Mogwo ever had another woman, he’d be dead meat,” Chui Yuk said, gnashing her teeth.
“You’re someone who’s afraid to lose,” I said to Yau Ying.
“Who’s not?” Yau Ying shot the question back at me.
“You’re so afraid that you won’t even allow for an opportunity in which you could lose,” I said.
“If she and Daihoi really are involved, what are you going to do?” Chui Yuk asked.
“Let’s get out of here!” Yau Ying stood up and left the bar.
Outside, the sky was cold and desolate. Chui Yuk had lost her honor for $300,000, Yau Ying might have lost Daihoi, and I’d already lost Sam. Why had we each lost so much?
Back at my apartment later that night, I tossed and turned in my bed. Yau Ying hadn’t changed much since she was a kid. She was still too strong.
Sometimes I felt that being too strong was also a kind of weakness. I removed the picture of Cherbourg from my window. The escalator had been shut off for the day, and a few people were slowly making their way up the stairs. I’d often imagined that one day I’d see a familiar pair of legs, and they would be Sam’s. He would be passing by my window, and I’d reach out and grab him by the leg. But he didn’t come around this neighborhood very often. I flipped around the puzzle so that it faced out the window. If one day Sam happened to walk down this street and notice the puzzle in the window, he’d know that I was inside, and maybe he’d knock.
The next day, Yau Ying called.
“Are you going to the station tonight to wait for that woman again?” I asked her.
“You used to be the other woman. Sam’s wife must’ve felt the way I do now, right?”
“I never once thought about how she felt,” I said.
“She must’ve despised you. The other woman is always so despicable.”
I felt slightly ashamed, like Yau Ying was attacking me.
“You should try being the other woman. The other woman isn’t always despicable. It’s fate that’s despicable,” I said.
“So, are you going to the station tonight?” I asked her again.
“Of course!” she said.
Yau Ying had called the station and discovered that the woman’s name was Tou Lei.
Yau Ying and I arrived outside the station at 10:50. Tou Lei left the station at 11:05. She got into a cab, just as she had the night before. She got out at the same convenience store, had something to eat there, then walked home.
“It might not be her after all,” I said.
The following night, Yau Ying drove Daihoi’s convertible to pick me up.
“We’re driving to the station?” I asked her.
“Get in!” she said. “I want to know the facts. Now.”
At 10:30, Yau Ying parked the car in front of the station. It was pouring.
“There’s no way Daihoi is going to show up here tonight. The weather’s terrible. Besides, he’s never shown up here before,” I said.
I truly regretted identifying Tou Lei’s voice. If there really was something going on between Daihoi and Tou Lei, things would be over between him and Yau Ying.
At 10:50, Yau Ying said, “Get in the back.” I climbed from the front passenger seat into the backseat.
“Can you get down low?” she asked.
I crouched down in the backseat.
We listened to Tou Lei’s radio show while we were waiting for her to come out. That evening, she played a lot of love songs. The last song she played was, much to my surprise, “I Will Wait for You.” I didn’t dare listen to that song anymore, and I hadn’t expected to hear it. Was Tou Lei waiting for someone, too? Whether out of reason or emotion, I should’ve been sympathetic towards Yau Ying. But I didn’t want Tou Lei to get caught. I silently prayed that she wouldn’t come out the door.
After the last song ended, Yau Ying pulled the car forwards a little so that it was parked underneath the canopy of a tree. She dimmed the lights and pulled up the collar of her coat, tucking in her long hair. I stayed crouched in the backseat. I couldn’t see what was going on around the station doors, nor could I check my watch. About fifteen minutes later, a woman suddenly opened the car door and hopped inside.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to pick me up?” the woman said to Yau Ying. It was Tou Lei. She quickly realized that the person sitting in the driver’s seat was not Daihoi. It was incredibly awkward. I didn’t know whether to sit up or remain crouching.
“I’m sorry!” Tou Lei said and started to open the car door.
“It’s pouring outside. Why don’t you let me drive you home?” Yau Ying stepped on the gas and we sped off.
“Who are you?” Tou Lei asked Yau Ying.
I sat up in the backseat, startling Tou Lei.
“What do you two want?” She was clearly frightened.
“Relax. We’re not kidnapping you,” Yau Ying said to her.
But Yau Ying sure was acting like a kidnapper. She had to be seriously crazy.
“I’m Daihoi’s girlfriend,” Yau Ying said.
Tou Lei grew silent. She seemed to no longer be frightened.
Yau Ying drove to a secluded area and stopped the car.
“How long has this been going on?” Yau Ying asked her.
“You should ask Daihoi.”
“How far have you gone?” Yau Ying asked her.
Tou Lei let out a small chuckle. “What do you mean by ‘how far have you gone’? We aren’t children.”
“Does he love you?”
I hadn’t expected Yau Ying to ask that question.
“I wouldn’t be with a man who didn’t love me,” Tou Lei said. “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”
“You’re in no position to apologize to me!” Yau Ying said coldly. “Now get out of the car!”
“You said you’d drive me home.”
“Don’t even try it!” Yau Ying pushed her out, and Tou Lei fell into the gutter.
“You were blinded by rage just now,” I said. “If she goes to the police, we’re going to end up in prison.”
Yau Ying was sobbing as she drove. I hadn’t seen her cry since we were kids.
“Don’t cry. You should listen to what Daihoi has to say. Maybe it’s all a one-sided delusion on her part.”
“I’m positive they’ve been sleeping together,” Yau Ying said.
I didn’t know what to say.
“Don’t do anything stupid!” I told her when she dropped me off at home.
Yau Ying called me at four in the morning.
“Chow Jeoi, if you had to choose between happiness and stability, and you could only have one, which would you choose?”
“Stability can be a form of happiness,” I said.
“You can only choose one.”
“I’ve already chosen happiness. That’s why my life is so unstable right now.” I laughed darkly.
She was silent.
“Are you all right?” I asked her. “What did Daihoi say?”
“He admitted it. That woman had already called him before I got home an
d told him what happened.”
“Are you going to leave him?”
“I don’t know. It’s been seven years. I thought he was going to be the man I’d marry.”
“What did he say?”
“He asked me to marry him.”
“Marry him?”
“I’m going to be happy, just like you.” Yau Ying hung up.
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Was that even an answer? If I had to choose between stability and happiness, and I could only choose one, I’d choose happiness, even though it was a kind of happiness that a person could get tired of.
The next day, in the early morning hours, I heard what sounded like someone knocking on my door. But it wasn’t the door. There was someone at my window. Was it Sam? Could it be that he’d seen the puzzle in the window? I moved the puzzle and saw that Yau Ying was squatting on the escalator.
“You’re not up yet, are you?” she asked me. “I picked up some breakfast.”
Yau Ying came in through the main entrance. She’d bought deep-fried breadsticks, sticky rice, and soy milk.
“Did you give him an answer?” I asked.
“I said no.”
“Why? All this time you wanted him to propose to you, didn’t you?”
“I was hoping that we’d be together for the rest of our lives. He only proposed to me just now because he felt guilty.”
“You can’t forgive him?”
Yau Ying looked at me for a long time, then said, “No.”
“Does he love that woman?”
“I don’t know, but he doesn’t love me anymore. He only asked me for the sake of doing the right thing. But as soon as we started making wedding plans, he’d regret it. We’d both hate each other. I don’t need his charity.”
“Don’t you think it’s a shame, though? Honestly, he’s a good catch. You’ve been together for seven years. It doesn’t seem worth it to let him get away for no good reason.”
“The deed for our apartment is in both of our names. He promised he’d give me half.”
“Would you accept it?”
“I can’t think of any reason not to. I’m not as generous as you are. I’ve been deeply invested in this. For a woman, seven years isn’t a short time. Since he’s willingly and gladly giving it to me, why should I turn it down?”
“He’s willing to give you the apartment because he feels guilty! Didn’t you just say you didn’t need his charity?”