by Skyler Andra
“Finished?” Knoxe stood over me, looking at the scatter of papers on the table.
“Hot date?” I pushed all the paperwork across the desk, except the rules, study notes and daily schedule.
His dark eyes narrowed. “I have mission prep like everyone else.”
“You’re an ungrateful bastard.” We were getting off to a cracking start. “I saved you from a two-week stint in The Hole.”
His fierce features softened. “Nomical, I’m—”
Great. Back to Nomical. “Forget it.” I stood. “Is that all?”
He sighed and pressed a key on the remote control, and the projector screen activated. “You have to watch this. Then I can sign off, and we can both go.”
I huffed and sat back down, making as much noise as I could. He wasn’t the only one who could tantrum.
The screen went black then the Guardians emblem faded in slow.
“Welcome to the Guild of Guardians, Sister organization to the Guild of Shadows,” the narrator said, with an enthused seriousness that reminded me of David Attenborough in one of his animal documentaries. “Tollens study and understand the gantii, their societies, culture and justice systems. This will allow you to survive in a dangerous world at a dangerous time.”
Not a problem for me. Model student here.
“A Tollen must attend all training before he or she will be allowed to partake in any mission sanctioned by the Guild of the Guardians. This is for Tollen safety and safety of every living creature here and beyond the veil.”
Straight down the line. I liked that. But complying with the prison’s rules didn’t worry me. I leaned back. Something told me I’d have a lot more trouble from my team.
Five minutes later, the video ended, and Knoxe switched off the screen.
“You can go now.” He tucked my paperwork under his arm. “Meet us in the practice room in thirty-six hours. You’ll need to spend this time studying.”
Thirty-six hours? Studying? Fuck. Intense.
There was only one way I was going to make it through all of this. I needed to be wary of Knoxe. Stay on his good side and avoid messing up or giving him any excuse to pick on me.
“It’s been a pleasure.” I left before he ordered me to do something else.
Burning with frustration, I hurried to the inmate comms room. I needed to contact Luna. When I got there, I waited in line for thirty minutes until my slot came up. Finally, I entered the booth, dialed her cell number, and it rang twice before she answered.
“Hello?" Luna's voice, high and squeaky and cute.
“Luna, it's me." I twisted the phone cord.
“Astra, God! Are you all right?"
“Fine." I squeezed the cord. It was good to hear her voice. It made me miss her even more.
“I'm back with the Shadows." Oh, thank God. “Blaze and I are working on your appeal."
I groaned. “Blaze. That bastard helped put me in here."
“What?"
“He was acting weird. Caught me trying to steal your parchment and took me to the headmaster."
The line went silent for a bit. “I’m so sorry, hun. He was being controlled by my grandfather."
“Oh shit!"
“Enough about that," she said. “I’ll tell you everything when we get you out. How are you doing?"
Hot tears stung my eyes. I poured out my soul, breaking down, letting my pain flow.
She cried with me. “I'm gonna get you out, okay?"
I wiped my face with my sleeves. “Okay."
“Times up,” the sentry behind me bellowed.
“Shit, I've got to go.”
“Call me when you can. Love you.”
“Love you too, babe. Bye.” My chest quivered with grief as I hung up. I missed my old life, my academy.
When I turned to leave, Tor was there, about to take my place. “You need a minute, Supergirl?”
I wiped my face again. “Phone’s yours.”
I moved past him fast. Fuck, I was trying to be strong in here, but all this pretending was wearing on me. Back at the Shadows, I could just be me. Here, I had to be on guard twenty-four-seven, and it was exhausting.
“Wait, Supergirl.” Tor seized my hand and pulled me back.
“No congregating,” the sentry barked. “Or you can start over in the queue.”
Tor shot him a scowl and moved us aside to the corner of the room, next to a guy who smelled like onions and garlic.
“Listen, I know this place can be rough some times.” Silver Blazes, he was sweet sometimes. “But you’ve just got to do the best you can.”
He stroked my arm, and that familiar heat sparked to life.
“I tell myself I’m saving the world.” He smiled, solemn and grave. “It’s how I get through it.”
To survive in here, to function, to avoid a daily meltdown, I was going to need a similar motivation. Otherwise I’d crumple into a heap and not get up. “Thanks.”
I pulled away. I couldn’t stay here any longer. Needed to be alone. To cry my heart out and just get it all out. And I didn’t want to do that in front of the other inmates or Tor.
Somehow I was going to find a way to survive all this. I just didn’t know how yet.
On my way back to the library, where I intended to collect some study material, and brush up on my gantii lore, I encountered Devon and his team. Freshly released from The Hole. They all glared at me like they wanted to kill me.
Vartros’ words boomed in my head: you’ve started a war. Watch your back.
My stomach sank.
Devon motioned with his hand and all his little friends made for the exit.
I ran too. No need for me to stick around. Shit. This prison was so big with three separate wars. Minimum, medium and maximum security. I had no idea where I was going. All the building blurred together in my memory, all the hallway branches led… I didn’t know where. I could only hear his footsteps. Faster. Closer. My pulse quickened.
I had to shake him off. At the next right, I bolted, turned into a room and slammed the door. My heart raced as he thumped past. I waited until I couldn’t hear him running anymore before I slipped out and headed back the other way.
Because I couldn’t focus on the map’s details, it took another five minutes to find the library. But once inside, I found the gantii lore collection. The letters on the books blurred. I turned to go to the counter for help.
Fuck. Devon stood waiting at the end of the aisle. My heart lodged in my throat, and I abandoned my search, and rushed out of the library, knocking over a rolling cart of books.
Heart pounding, I ran back to my cell, locking the barred door after me.
Then I paced, rubbing my forehead. Counting to a hundred then back down to one. Breathing in and out. Slower. Slower.
Thanks to my team and its leader who would be too happy to see me fail, I had enough shit to deal with. And I didn’t want to leave the safety of my cell. But what if they rejected my appeal? How the fuck was I going to survive the next week let alone twenty five years?
Chapter 10
Tor
Fuck, I needed a minute. My chest stung as I watched Supergirl leave, her curled back and unsteady steps. I couldn’t help the pity I felt. My first weeks here were…devastating. I hated it. Hated the isolation in my cell, the lack of freedom, the discipline and loss of autonomy.
Taking a deep breath, I moved back into the queue. I’d seen this place break plenty of people. They went from depressed to miserable to shells of their former selves. We were all just trying to survive despite the odds, the rules, the control, and the dangerous missions forced on us. I pondered all this as I waited for my second turn in line to roll around.
When the time came, I moved to a cubicle, shutting the door behind me. All calls were monitored by sentries. Prison policy only allowed ten minutes per week of outside world contact. The world’s quickest phone call or a couple of emails.
Every time I called, I had to make the most of those minutes. My sister
and mom thought I worked in New York on fucking Wall Street. Thought me some big-time investment banker. I had to make up excuses for the shortened calls. Time zones and being so busy at work came in handy often. They knew something was wrong, but neither had asked. We were a close family, but we didn’t get super personal. And right now, I could use all the light-hearted joking I could get.
It took a few breaths to steady myself before dialing my sister’s cell number and letting it ring. She picked up after the fourth.
“Hello.” God, it was good to hear Janet’s voice. Earthy and light. But tonight, it was tired and brittle.
“Hey, sis.” I clutched the phone tighter, not wanting to let go.
“Little brother.” The smile in her voice made all the crap from the past few weeks vanish in an instant.
Squeals and shouts carried down the line in the background. Children fighting. A dog barking.
“Keep it down, would you.” She must’ve put her hand over the receiver to muffle the command to her children.
It had been months since I’d seen my niece and nephew. Had all my visit passes revoked for bad behavior. Fucking Knoxe getting on my case all the damned time.
“What’s been happening?” I asked.
By now, Janet was well schooled on the routine. Get all the important stuff out the way before I had to go.
“Jack needs a filling in his teeth, and Molly needs glasses.” I could by the tight tone that she was losing her patience. The kids must have been little rats today.
Things weren’t easy for her raising them on her own. Her deadbeat husband walked out on her and didn’t pay a cent of support for his kids. Guess he didn’t understand that expenses didn’t pay for themselves. She couldn’t work in her field anymore, and looked after Mom where she could, as well as raising the kids.
“I’ll sort it out,” I promised. “Just give me a few days. Things have been tight lately.”
Meaning it had been tough to sneak merchandise into the prison after the warden ordered a contraband check two months ago and cleared out most of our stock. Some of that shit wasn’t easy to get, like the Siren porn magazines, which every inmate in the place, and even some guards competed for. Of course, I only sold to the highest bidder. The problem with the Siren porn was that Guardians didn’t enter their world much, and to be honest, we tried to stay away. My team was almost killed by those alluring temptresses. So, it was a bigger bitch to get than anything else in any realm. And because my life wasn’t complicated enough, three guards on my payroll who helped me sneak things inside the prison, were all lying low, and the other two inmates who supplied me were out on missions.
“Thank you, bro.” Her tight voice lightened with relief. “For all you do for us. It really helps.”
Someone had to. And I wasn’t going to have my own brood, because I wasn’t getting out of this place until well past my prime. And who’d want a washed up ex-con as husband and provider of the family.
“How are you anyway?” She changed the topic.
“Can’t complain,” I replied. “We got a new team member. She seems nice.”
“Oh yeah?” Any time I mentioned a woman it perked my sister’s interest. She was always trying to set me up with one of her old work mates or friends from high school. Even though I told her I lived in New York. “Is she hot?”
I chuckled and leaned against the stone wall. “She’s got this sexy librarian thing going. Glasses. Orange streaks. Big headphones. Reads books. I dig it.” I made an o with my thumb and forefinger and stuck up my three remaining fingers. “She’s into comics. Bonus points.”
“When are you gonna ask her out?” Her intuition caught me off guard.
I huffed. “We work together.” I was also a liar.
“Mmm hmmm.” I hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while, and Janet was dying for me to bring someone home when I next visited. Not happening anytime soon.
Certainly not going there with Astra. Awkward. Complicated. And she wouldn’t be interested in a screw up like me. Topic change. “So what’s news with you.”
“I had an interview today.” Janet sounded less bright now that I’d turned the conversation around.
“Oh, yeah?” I leaned against the wall and smiled. ”Where?”
“The local grocers.”
“That’s great news.” I ran my forefinger and thumb along the phone cord. “I’m proud of you, sis.”
“It won’t be much,” she said. “But it’ll help. Then we won’t need to rely on you so much.”
Those words stabbed deep in my heart. “I don’t mind helping out.”
“I know…” Janet stammered. “But It doesn’t feel right.”
I smiled. Stubborn and proud. She’d rejected my first three payments, but I’d gotten smarter about it, hid the money in her wallet, her handbag, in the fruit bowl and random places out of the way of the kids. She tried to return it again when she figured it out, but it was my turn to refuse.
“What’s wrong with me providing for my family?”
“It’s… I… Just…” She sighed, and I pictured her scratching her head—a nervous habit she’d had since we were young. “It makes me feel like I can’t provide for my family.”
“So, it’s a small balls thing?” I asked.
She laughed, nervous, unsure. “A what?”
I twisted the phone cord. “Listen, if it makes you feel like you’ve got the bigger balls in our relationship, once you get on your feet, I’ll only send half as much.” No, the hell I wouldn’t. I’d send them the full amount. Or maybe I’d open up a college account or something for Jack and Molly.
She chuckled. “I’ve always had bigger balls than you.”
“Balls as big as space.” We both laughed.
“Deal, bro.”
I smiled, glad to hear that. “Good.”
I glanced at the sentry, and he motioned to the clock. Fuck. Time to wind it up. These conversations were always too short.
“Ugh.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I’ve got to get going, sis.”
“Always too busy for us.” But she was teasing. I hoped.
“I’ve got to save the world somehow, don’t I?” My tone was hollow and unconvincing. “Save the stock market.”
Guilt stung my chest, and I held my breath. I fucking hated lying to her and my mom. Such a scumbag move, but it was too late to them the truth. Too late to say I was an inmate in a prison, selling illegal items and breaking prison rules. Guys like me didn’t get second chances. We didn’t get redemption. But I could dream.
“Bye, sis.” I squeezed the phone receiver and tucked my head.
“Later, bro.”
I hung up the receiver and braced myself against the wall for a few seconds. A few deep breaths and I’d be good to go. But today, it didn’t help. My chest stiffened, and I struggled to breathe. Fuck. I needed some air. A few minutes walk outside.
Someone thumped on the Plexiglas of my booth. The next inmate. He yelled something, but I couldn’t hear over the roar of my pulse.
“All yours,” I told him, exiting.
Muscles twitching, I crossed into the next wing of the prison, headed for the gym, desperate for to work off some tension. Phone calls with my family always left me feeling sticky with guilt.
Inside the gymnasium, I scanned the place, mentally planning what machine to use first. One of the three bench-presses was free, and I moved toward it.
“Tor,” someone shouted as I passed the cardio equipment. “Buddy!”
“Arnold.” I slapped hands and shook them. He was sweaty and red, so I quickly retracted my hand. “I see the trolls didn’t kill you.”
He laughed and took a swig of his water. “They can’t kill me,” he panted, wiping his forehead with his gym towel.
“Nice to see you, buddy.” I cocked my finger and pretended to shoot before moving deeper into the room.
“Hey, Tor,” said another voice.
“Hey, Matt.” I fisted bumped another friend on the way past t
he lat pull-down machine.
When I arrived at the bench press, someone else called my name.
James, one of my suppliers, threw a towel over his shoulder, and approached me. My chest lightened with hope of a delivery. My competitor was getting an edge because he was fresh back from a mission with a duffel bag full of contraband. Fucker was killing my business.
“James, my man.” I slapped his waiting hand. “Long time, no see.”
He crossed his arms and lowered his thick eyebrows. “The warden’s had us out hunting this fucking fox shifter. Hard prick to find. Shifty bastard.”
I nodded. “Can’t be any worse than Styx, man.”
James hooded eyes frowned. “You still tracking that wily fuck?”
“Yeah.” I ran a hand through my hair. Knoxe was obsessed with catching him. Obsessed to the point it slowly drove him mad.
“Hey, before I forget.” He pretended to rub his thigh, slowly inching his hand in his pocket and removing an item. “I got this for you.” With the same care, he cupped it in his hand, lifted it, and slapped my hand again.
“Thanks, man.”
“Catch ya ‘round.” James swaggered back to the leg press across the room. He never stayed long. Couldn’t afford extra seconds. Less evidence to convict him if the sentries saw.
I caught a quick look at the packet in my palm. Sea pearls from the mermaids. Fucking A. These beauties caught a fair price at jewelers. A couple grand, at least. Enough to pay for Jack’s dental trip to the dentist and Molly’s new glasses. Slowly, I shoved them in my pants as I bent to grab the next weight. Inside, I smiled. Today might not be such a shitty day after all.
After my workout, I was buzzing from the high as I took a shower. Feeling fresh, I continued to the watchtower, to catch up with the team. Knoxe scanned the computers, looking more pissed than usual. Raze traced something on a map. Pascal read a magical book, and Supergirl poured through social media.
I clapped my hands to announce my presence. “Afternoon, lady and gents.”
“You’re late,” Knoxe reminded me.
I raised an eyebrow. Those seemed to be his favorite words lately. Fuck him. I had a spare hour after lunch to do whatever I pleased. My only small freedom in this place, and I was going to make the fucking most of it. The rest of it, my ass, my life, was owned by the Guardians.