by Myers, K. L.
“I love you too. So fucking much it hurts.”
I kiss her hard, making up for all the lost time I’ve subjected us to. Until now, I hadn’t realized how stupid my plan actually was. Oh, how I’ve missed the softness of her lips. The taste of her mouth as our tongues dance together. But most of all, I’ve forgotten how truly sweet the smell of her skin is. How could I have been so stupid?
Without hesitation, Willow allows me to lay us back on the bed. My hands brace both sides of her face as I stare into her beautiful eyes. I’m afraid to blink for fear that this is all just a dream. That is until she says, “I’m never letting you go, Brecken. Stay with me. This is where you belong.”
* * *
That night was the start of a new beginning for us. It wasn’t easy. Jamal took care of Wade for a few days. Willow needed time to decide where I would stay until she was ready to introduce me to Wade. Until she knew how to introduce me.
I understood why she didn’t want to just throw a dad at him out of the blue.
She wanted to know how often I came into her room and was shocked and amazed when I told her I did nearly every night. I couldn’t stay away from her. If she thought I was a stalking creep, she kept it to herself.
Some truths came out, but not all. Willow got to a point where she said she needed to process for a while. I wanted to tell her everything, have it all out in the open, but had to respect that she needed to take it in spurts.
Many tears fell over those few days, from both of us. Over our hurt at being separated for so long, for my betrayal, and for all we missed out on. We screamed, we got quiet, walked away, and ran back to each other. It was a time of anger and healing. And at the end, we decided I would remain in the shack until she was ready to tell Wade who I am.
It wasn’t the ideal situation for me, but it was the start to being in her and Wade’s life, and I was willing to do anything for that. So, I sucked up my ego and gave in to all her demands. Even staying out of her room until she invited me back. That was brutal.
I spent my days either listening to them in the yard or watching from the shadows, trying to catch any glimpse of them that I could. And my nights were spent staring up at Willow’s window, waiting until she would walk by and grace me with her beauty. Every so often, she would stop by and visit. Those moments were pure joy… until she left, and then it was hell. I missed her every second.
To help ease my misery, I came up with a plan. It was brilliant, but I worried she wouldn’t be okay with it. When I mentioned I needed to go away for a few days, her eyes grew as wide as saucers. When I said I needed Jamal to go with me, her mouth about dropped to the floor. She didn’t want to hear that my reason for us going away was a surprise.
She just wanted me to tell her I’d come back alive.
I came back alive.
Willow asked one night what it was I did with myself all that time away from her. I explained that I taught Jamal everything I knew about business and marketing. Back in the day, I was a marketing genius. I wanted Jamal to have a skill, something he could survive with if anything happened to me, or if he ever wanted to go out on his own. Our trip was about putting those skills to work.
I knew I needed a grand gesture, a Hail Mary if you would, to make up for all the lost time I subjected Willow to. Even though she was working on forgiving me, I wanted to give her something in return. Something that would allow her to be at home raising our son but not require her to give up who she was. She had fought so hard to find herself, and I didn’t want her to ever lose that again.
“Brecken, are you going to make me beg, or are you going to tell me what happened?”
“I do love it when you beg.” Biting my lip, I eyed her from head to toe.
Her eyes twinkled with mischief. My little minx better watch out, or I’d make her beg for hours. The thought had me getting uncomfortable in my jeans. Damn this woman.
She licked her lips and jutted her tits out. “Please, tell me what happened today.”
I was going to fuck her senseless after this conversation.
“It appears I’m looking at the newest ghostwriter for Oliveira & Summers Ghostwriting Services. Of course, you’ll now have to start calling Jamal Mr. Oliveira since he’s your boss,” I teased as I slapped her ass.
Willow’s squeal of excitement was deafening, almost breaking my ear drums as she screeched. “Partner. He’s my partner.”
“I’m your partner. Don’t ever forget it.”
Done with the conversation, I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder as she laughed. I walked toward my shack with no intention of letting her go until she came at least a dozen times.
* * *
I stand in the tree line, watching as Wade and Willow play in the distance. I’m hidden from them, able to freely enjoy the happiness they exude as he tosses the ball and she chases it. Everything is going to change as soon I step out of the shadows. Change is good. That’s what people say. I’m going to have to trust in that saying because I can’t avoid it any longer.
Taking a deep breath, I look at my son again. My son. I smile at the thought. I never thought I’d be a dad after losing Emery, and here I am with this beautiful boy who has filled my heart with love. I guess change is good. If I hadn’t changed from the monster back into a man, Wade wouldn’t be here.
“Thank you,” I whisper as I peer at the sky, knowing Emery is watching over me. “Thank you for guiding me to her.”
With my final goodbye said to my first real love, I step away from the trees into the bright sunshine. Wade catches sight of me and smiles.
“Daddy!”
36
Forgiveness
Willow
“Daddy!”
Daddy?
Wade runs to Brecken with a smile on his face and his arms spread wide to be picked up. I stand, paralyzed, watching as Brecken bends with love beaming for his son. The son who I’m supposed to be introducing him to. The son who already knows him.
What the hell is going on?
With Wade in his arms, Brecken walks my way. My two guys are giddy as they approach me, but I’m about to come undone. Brecken has some explaining to do.
“Jamal!” I scream for our friend, needing him to take Wade out of the situation that is about to happen.
I’m not ready for his quick, “Yes, Miss.”
I turn, and he’s right behind me, and instantly, it dawns on me. He knew. He’s a part of this. Anger rushes from my toes to my mouth in seconds. “How many damn times have I told you to call me Willow?”
Brecken stops walking and stares at me. I want to tell him he isn’t allowed to act scared. He knows why I’m freaking out, so he can stop acting innocent.
“Wade,” I say, trying to use my nice mom voice. “Can you go inside with Uncle Jamal?”
Wade pouts, making me more upset. “Play with Daddy,” he says.
“In a little bit, sweetie. Uncle Jamal is going to get you cookies and juice.”
“Cookies!” He claps and pushes on Brecken to let him down.
Jamal grabs his hand and walks back to the house with him. When I’m sure they’re out of hearing range, I turn my attention to Brecken. He hasn’t moved any closer to me, and that’s probably a good thing. I might beat the shit out of him.
I start to say something but stop. I’m not sure I have the right words for the betrayal I feel. He knows our son. Has met him. Spent time with him. But let me believe I was introducing them for the first time. How many more lies are there?
“How long?” I ask, not sure what exactly I want to know. They’re the only words I can get out.
Brecken kicks at the grass, not looking at me, but answers, “Since the moment he was born.”
“What?” I storm at him, ready to unleash the fury of an entire pregnancy of being without him. Of three years of raising Wade and wishing he were here.
“I was there. Dr. Price and Jamal kept me apprised of your appointments. They called when you went into labor. I was
at the clinic. Even in the room when you delivered.”
“The extra nurse who came in for the cesarean?”
“Yes.”
I feel like I’m going to be sick. He was right there. Almost close enough for me to touch. He heard me tell Dr. Price how much I wished he could see Wade. Hold him.
He did get to hold him. I saw him. How did I not recognize him? Even with a mask on, I should have known those eyes.
I can’t talk, so lost in the memory of the day Wade was born. In the joy of seeing my son for the first time, and the pain of Brecken never seeing his son. In knowing our son would grow up without him. It was crushing me even as my heart was full of love.
“Jamal brought him to see me at his place whenever he could. We told him I was Jamal’s friend.”
Jamal’s friend. It makes so much sense now. I thought Jamal disappeared all that time because he had a girlfriend. Since Brecken came back, I learned the truth. But now there’s a new truth.
Wade would come back from hanging out with Jamal and say, “Jamal’s friend.” I thought it only proved my theory about the girlfriend. He was talking about Brecken all this time. For over a year, since I first heard him say that, I misunderstood what my little boy was trying to tell me.
“Why didn’t you tell him who you were?”
“Kids can’t keep secrets.”
I nod, but it’s just to show that I heard him. He wasn’t coming back at that point because he didn’t think I was ready. I’m still working on understanding that. I don’t agree with his decision to play dead, but I am trying to see why he felt it was the right choice.
“When did you tell him?”
“Yesterday. I had to.”
“Why?” There are a million other questions I want to ask, but this is the only one I can utter.
“I didn’t want you and him both confused when you introduced us. I thought it would be better this way.”
“Better?” I ask on a disgusted huff. My anger starts to boil again. “You didn’t think it would be better to just tell me the fucking truth?”
He starts walking toward me, and as much as I want to tell him to keep his distance, I don’t. My brain is too frazzled by this new information.
“You told me you couldn’t handle any more truths at the time. I was giving you the space you needed to come to terms with what you had learned already. And then you said you were ready for me to meet Wade. It all happened so fast.”
“And you went to a three-year-old instead of me.”
It hurts. So much that I’m not sure how I’m still standing. Maybe the lies are so thick between us they’re keeping me afloat. I don’t know anymore.
Jamal walks out, and I scowl at him. “Did you leave Wade alone?”
“He fell asleep, so I put him in his bed.”
The two men I trusted most at one point stand before me, and I’m pissed. How could they deceive me like this?
Emotions boiling over, I unload on them. “I’m so tired of feeling like this. Of being mad all the time. I don’t want to be angry, but I am. At you.” I point at Jamal. “You’re my best friend, and you helped him play dead. You took Wade behind my back to see him and be a family with him when you knew I wished more than anything for us to be a family. And I’m angry with you.” I point at Brecken. “You broke my fucking heart. You died, Brecken. At least I thought you did. It crushed me. And then you come back. As much as I should have hated you, I couldn’t. I’ve been working to get us back, but it seems like you’re determined to destroy us.”
“Willow, no.”
“Shut up! I’m not done.” Brecken steps back, visibly stunned that I spoke to him that way, and I don’t care. Maybe he finally feels a little of what I’ve been feeling.
“I’m angry at myself because I’m weak. You two have done the most horrible things to me, and somehow, I still love you. What is wrong with me? Neither of you deserve my love.”
I was trying not to cry. Trying so hard to be strong, but the admission that I love them no matter the shit they do hurts. So, I cry. I cry in pain. I cry in anger. And I cry because I need to shed it all from my system.
It’s the only way I can move forward and forgive them.
I wanted more than anything for Brecken to be there the day Wade was born. To see him enter this world and to hold him. He was there, and he did hold him. I didn’t want to be alone, and I wasn’t. I wanted him to see Wade grow up, and he has. It isn’t the way I envisioned our family. I saw happiness and love, laughter and tears too. Holidays spent in this house. Memories made. I can have that.
We can have that.
Four arms wrap around me, and I fall into the warmth. This is where I belong. With Brecken, the man I love, and Jamal, the best friend I’ve ever had. They understand my broken and crazy, and they love me for it.
I’m home.
Epilogue
Willow
The sun shines brightly across the yard as Wade runs to the swings, squealing in delight that Jamal is going to push him. It’s so sweet how he is with Wade, always patient and playful. I love watching them together.
“You look happy.”
Brecken’s toned, tanned, and tattooed chest blocks my view, and I don’t mind one little bit. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of staring at this man.
“I am. I didn’t think I ever could be, but I am.”
He bends in front of my chair, and the mischievous smile I’ve come to love so much graces his gorgeous face. What is he up to now?
“I bet I can make you happier.”
“Not possible,” I argue, sure that he’s wrong. My heart is overfilled already from loving him, Wade, and Jamal. There’s no room for more.
“Really?” His lips lift higher. “What are you willing to wager, beautiful lady?”
“Anything and everything,” I joke, giving in to his playfulness.
His eyes twinkle, and he chuckles. “I hope you never regret that.”
I don’t get a chance to say anything else because he grabs my right hand and slips the most stunning chocolate diamond I’ve ever seen onto my ring finger. “Be my anything and everything, Willow. Let me show you there’s always more happiness. Marry me.”
My eyes go from the ring, to his face, to the ring, and back to him again. I open and shut my mouth a few times before finally finding words. “How can we?”
He laughs. “How did I know you couldn’t simply say yes? Never one to be easy about anything, are you?”
I want to say yes. More than anything, I want to say yes. To be his wife. To tell the world I’m his. But that can never be our story.
“But the world thinks you’re dead.”
“Brecken Wade is dead. That’s true, but how do you think I’ve continued to do business?”
I never thought about it before. He mentioned having money in different names, but I didn’t think about how he does his work. He rarely leaves the house. I figured he was just investing his money and watching it grow.
“I use a multitude of names, Willow. We can get married.”
“It can’t be public. People can’t see you.”
“They don’t have to. This is for us. You. Me. Wade. I love you. Both of you. I don’t want us to ever feel like we’re less than anyone else. Like we’re missing out on any part of life.”
So much love shines from his blue eyes. I want to drown in it. This man is everything I could ever want.
“Yes.”
There’s so much more I should say, but I can’t think of what it is. I just want him to know I choose him. Today, tomorrow, and always.
I choose him.
“You put the ring on the wrong hand. I thought you knew how this worked.”
Brecken laughs so loudly, Jamal and Wade look our way. He’s always so amused by me. “It’s all part of the ruse, my love.” He winks and bends to give me a quick kiss.
“The ruse?”
“For the outside world. We can’t have a public wedding or marriage, so no wedding ring on
your left hand, but I’ll be damned if you don’t still have one. You are mine.”
I laugh now. My big, bad man is staking his claim. And I love that he is.
“I guess I have to take your name, huh?” he asks.
“Summers?” He nods. “But that’s Abe’s name.” He nods again. “You’d do that?”
“I’d do anything to be with you and anything to make your life easier. I love you, Willow.”
“I love you too, Brecken.”
He crawls into my lawn chair with me, curling me into his body, and together we watch Jamal and Wade play. Nothing could be more perfect. Brecken Wade may be dead to the outside world, but here in our little world, he’s the hero in every story.
He definitely saved me.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS FROM KL and Renee
First and foremost, we want to thank Golden Czermak for an amazing photo. He’s probably the reason this book came about. KL saw this photo, and knew it had to be a cover on one of her books. With this photo, the book had to be suspenseful, which meant it had to involve Renee. Matt Zumwalt, WOW, you killed it! Thank you both for brining Brecken to life for us.
Then there’s Dana Leah, my amazing cover designer who no matter what the challenge, always delivers the most amazing cover. Thank you for always being patient with KL’s insane ideas.
You can’t have an amazing book without an amazing editor. Julia Goda, thank you for making my words pretty.
Renee and I want to thank Amy and Ellen for taking the time to beta read for us. Along with Heidi Jo - Small Town Girl Formatting for formatting this little gem and Lydia - HEA PR for getting Captured out to all the readers.
Thank you to all the bloggers who took time out of their lives to read, review, and/or spread the word about Captured. We’re so honored felt out story was worthy.