“Alrighty, then.” With a saucy shake of her head, she slipped off her panties.
My mouth was dry, and my heart was thundering. I wished so fucking much that I could sit up and pull Zelda onto the bed with me, roll her beneath me and thrust into her body.
As though she could hear my thoughts, Zelda crawled back onto the bed and lay one hand alongside my cheek. “We’ll figure this out. Don’t worry about what you can’t do anymore—think about how much you still can do.” Her fingers trailed down my chest to the button of my jeans and undid them. “You tell me what you need. If you don’t, I’ll just go by the seat of my pants.”
“Hard to do since you’re not wearing any,” I mumbled, trying to keep from groaning again.
“You’ve got a point.” With finesse that impressed me, she managed to get my jeans and boxers off me and on the floor before she wrapped her fingers around my length.
“Zel.” I cleared my throat. “Before we, ah, go any further, I want to ask you two things.”
She frowned slightly. “Okay. Fire away.”
“First of all, I just realized I don’t have any condoms. You know I haven’t had a need for them.”
“That’s okay. I have them.” With a slightly self-deprecating half-smile, she added, “I make it a rule to always be prepared.”
“All right. Good. I mean, I wasn’t saying we shouldn’t—I know I’m clean. And I assume you’re on birth control.”
“I am. And I’m clean, too.” She paused. “Did you want to . . . not use one?”
“I was just saying that if we didn’t have one . . .” I trailed off. “But you do, so no worries.”
She studied me. “What was number two? Your other question, I mean.”
“Oh.” This one was actually tougher. “I was just going to ask if maybe you could come up here so I can kiss you.”
Something changed on Zelda’s face. She softened, and there was a mix of indecision and conflict in her eyes. I wondered if she would refuse, if that was crossing a line for her. But after a few seconds, she scooted closer and lay down next to me, both of us facing each other.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hi,” I returned. “I’m sorry that everything about this is so—that things don’t just happen. That I need you to help me undress. That I can’t just kiss you, without asking you to come to me.”
“Hey, don’t you dare apologize.” She ventured one hand to my head and combed her fingers through my hair. “It’s fine. I’m not one of those women who won’t talk about sex while I’m doing it. I like to talk. I like to be open. So this is . . . perfect.”
I opened my mouth to say something else, but it was lost as Zelda closed the last couple of inches between us and covered my lips with hers.
It had been four years since I’d kissed Zelda, and although I did have some memories of that night—I hadn’t been lying to her earlier—I couldn’t clearly remember what it had felt like.
Her lips were soft, and at first, the kiss was innocent and gentle, as though she was asking me a question that neither of us quite understood. But the moment that she touched me, something new and wild zinged through me, spreading out to every inch of my body.
Every inch. I hadn’t felt any sensation in my legs since that fall night three years ago, but I would have sworn that in this moment, Zelda’s kiss reverberated through nerves that had gone dead. She made me feel alive and alert, as though I could jump off this bed and run a mile.
Her lips parted, and her tongue slid into my mouth, searching for me. I met her, twining my tongue around hers, stroking and caressing. She moaned low in her throat, and the sound ran straight to my dick. I rolled a little until Zelda lay on her back, and once again, I blessed the physical therapists who had beaten my ass to make sure my upper body strength was enough to support my weight. I managed to hold my torso over her, and I felt more like myself than I had since my injury.
Zelda laced her fingers behind my head and held me to her, as if I wanted to go anywhere. Angling my head, I deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth, tracing the line of her inner lips.
My cock pressed into the apex of her legs, and I could feel her wet heat, just waiting for me, and I experienced another if only moment. If only I could manage to move enough that I could thrust into her sweetness, I would do it now. But I was honest with myself enough to realize that although I could manage to lift my own weight, I couldn’t maintain a rhythm—and I didn’t have the leverage anymore to manage sex this way.
“Eli.” Zelda framed my face with her hand. “Stop thinking. I can feel you worrying.”
“I want to be good enough for you.” I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I want this to be everything. I hate that I have to compromise.”
“You’re not. And you’re not good enough—you’re beyond that. Stop thinking and just . . . feel.” She arched her back so that the stiffened tips of her boobs brushed over my chest. “Feel and enjoy.”
“Zelda.” I lowered myself to lie alongside her, brushing my hand lightly down the curves and softness of her incredible body. “Do we know what we’re doing here? Don’t get me wrong. I want this.” I said the last words with such feeling that Zelda laughed softly. “But we haven’t talked about—you said you don’t do relationships.”
A shadow fell across her face. “Eli, don’t ruin this now. We don’t have to label what we’re doing. It feels good. It feels right—to me, at least. I like you, and I’m attracted to you. I want this, too. I want you.” She lifted herself up over me and kissed me again, her need flowing through me. “Don’t overthink everything. Just . . . let me make you feel good. Let me make us both feel incredible.”
She nudged me onto my back again, climbing onto me, sitting on the top of my thighs so that my dick rose just in front of her. Offering me a smile full of promise, she stroked me from base to head, rubbing with just enough intensity that I felt my balls tighten.
“This was the first cock I ever touched.” She circled the head with her thumb. “I remember that I was afraid of hurting you that night. And you said that I wasn’t going to break it.” She giggled. “I was totally intimidated by this cock that night.”
“I remember that you did a pretty damn good job for a first-timer.” I spoke through clenched teeth, trying to hold back the pleasure. “You were tentative, but you were adventurous. Or at least it felt that way.”
“I was faking it until I made it.” She wrapped her fingers around my length, amping up the sensation. “I was totally lost.”
“Ah.” I let out a strangled breath. “I’m probably about four years too late to ask this, but that night, did you, you know . . . did I, uh . . . did you come? Did I get you off?”
Her lips curled into a wide smile, her nails raking lightly up and down me. “Full disclosure—no. But you tried,” she added quickly. “You wanted to do your best by me. You went down on me, but remember, I’d never done anything but kiss, so having a guy lick and kiss me there—between my legs—it was a little overwhelming. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or expect. So I stopped you before you could finish. And before I could, too.”
“I guess I should apologize.” I gasped as Zelda rose up higher, using the head of my dick to rub her slick center. “Uhhh . . . I tried to make it good for the girls, too, in those days, but apparently I could be easily distracted.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she assured me. Her breasts swayed as she moved over me. “I was pretty insistent about giving you a blow job. Even though I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.” She licked her lips. “But now I do know what I’m doing. Are you ready to fuck me, Eli? This time, I’m not planning on stopping until I come . . . at least twice.” She dropped down onto her hands and brought her tits to my mouth again. “Let’s start here.”
I was more than willing to do my part. Opening my mouth, I consumed the stiff tip, sucking hard and using my teeth, too. She liked it a little rougher here, I’d realized. I used my fingers on her other boob, grinning
in satisfaction when her breathing quickened and small noises of pleasure rolled off her tongue.
“I need you inside me,” she murmured. “God, I need to feel you, Eli.” She reached between us and guided my dick to her opening, pausing only a second before she sank down onto me.
It had been almost four years since I’d been inside a woman. Four years since I’d experienced the incredible sense of filling someone, of feeling the tight grip of a pussy around my throbbing cock. Every nuance of my body wanted to go by instinct and pound into Zelda, but I couldn’t. The spirit was willing to the point of ache, but the body just wasn’t able.
“Oh, God.” She sat up, pulling out of my grasp, impaling herself even more firmly on my cock. For a long minute she sat still, letting both of us simply feel.
When she began to move, it was a slow and sensual dance, grinding herself onto me. I lay back and watched as her eyes drifted closed and her hands wandered up to play with her nipples. It was the most erotic vision I could ever imagine—and I had a damn good imagination.
Keeping one hand on her tit, she brushed the other down her body until it came to rest at the spot where we were joined. I felt her touch there, and then she was rubbing herself, her fingers fast and insistent on her clit.
“Tell me how it feels.” I groaned out the words. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”
“God, so fucking good.” She dropped her head back, finding a rhythm, her fingers picking up even more speed. “So fucking good. I can feel your cock so deep inside me. Oh, holy fuck, Eli, I’m going to come.”
Her entire body bowed, quivering, as the orgasm gripped her. I felt her sweet pussy clenching around my dick, and I knew I was dangerously close to my own peak. But I wanted her to know more. I wanted her to come again, and this time, I wanted to rise to the pinnacle together.
As though she was on the same wave length as me, she bent over me again, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “I want you to come inside me, Eli. God, I want to feel you come.” She shifted so that her knees rested on the bed alongside my hips. “Suck my nipples hard and let me get you off. Come inside me. Come hard.”
I groped for her breast and guided the nipple back into my mouth, obeying Zelda’s directions and sucking as hard as I could. She lifted her hips until I was almost out of her and then slammed down, hard.
It was fucking incredible. It was the closest thing I could imagine to thrusting into her myself.
She kept her movement slow and measured at first, and then, as my breath went ragged, she went faster, until we were both a frenzy of need, sliding together and apart, heading recklessly to the end we both craved.
“Jesus, I’m going to come again. Are you—”
“Yes!” I snarled. “Fucking yes, don’t stop.” In my blind desire, I bit down on her nipple, and that was enough to send her careening over the edge again—and she took me with her.
The orgasm was the most intense, mind-blowing I’d ever had. I came so hard, spurting deep into her, driven on by the tight spasms of her inner walls. I pulsed over and over, and I shook all over, my arms wrapping around Zelda’s back and holding her close.
It took several long moments before blood flowed back into my brain. My breath was still coming in short, rapid pants, but I was aware of the weight of Zelda’s head on my chest, the slick of dampness under my palms on her back, and the fact that I was still in her, even as my dick softened. I felt her breasts pillowing against me, and the stroke of her fingers on my shoulder.
The best kind of exhaustion swept over me, and with Zelda lying on me, her hair sweeping over my chest, I fell into a deep, sweet sleep.
I opened my eyes to the odd sense of not knowing where I was. Once upon a time, I had been used to that feeling; I’d woken up in strange beds in unfamiliar rooms often enough when I was in high school. That hadn’t happened to me in a long time, though.
But this morning, it only took a few moments before I realized that I was in Zelda’s room, in her bed.
Alone.
Blinking, I craned my neck and looked around the room. It had to be pretty late in the day, but the room was still bathed in shadows, thanks to Zelda’s room-darkening shades. Gia and Quinn always teased her about her inability to sleep in anything but total darkness. We’d both fallen asleep last night with the light on; I wondered at one point she’d gotten up to turn it off.
She wasn’t in here with me, that much was clear. But she’d thoughtfully unfolded my chair and pushed it close enough to the bed that I could get myself into it. And she’d laid my clothes on the foot of the bed, too. I reached for my boxers and managed to get them on, and then I tackled the jeans before I put on my shoes. The shirt . . . well, I decided I’d ignore that for now. I hadn’t missed the gleam in Zelda’s eye when I’d taken it off last night, and I needed that confidence boost this morning.
Last night had been incredible. It had been worth the four years of waiting for my first sexual experience after the injury. I wanted to do it again—and soon.
But I also wanted to just sit and talk to Zelda. I wanted to hold her hand, eat a meal, binge watch more of St. Elsewhere (we were on season three) and just hang out with her. I wanted more than sex, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she hadn’t had a revolutionary change of heart last night. She didn’t want a boyfriend. She didn’t want anything more than sex.
But maybe I could change her mind. If I moved slowly, and if I bided my time and waited her out . . . she liked me. I was sure about that. We really were friends. Now if only she’d let me build on that friendship, until it was more and deeper.
First things first, though. I’d gotten most of my clothes on and eased myself into the chair. The bigger problem was that I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Zelda and Gia shared an adjoining bathroom, so that wasn’t a problem, except that the bathroom wasn’t exactly accessible. I could get to the doorway, but there was no way I was going to be able to maneuver my chair past the threshold.
I sat staring at the toilet for several moments, trying to figure out if there was any way I could hoist myself up by leaning on the sink and vanity and then swing myself into place. It was risky at best, stupid and dangerous at worst.
I heard a sound behind me and glanced around to see Zelda coming through the door into her room.
“Oh, you’re awake.” Her voice was even, and I couldn’t read her expression, though I did notice that her eyes flickered down to my chest. Ha!
“Yeah, sorry I slept so long.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks for making sure my clothes and the chair were in reach.”
“No problem.” She leaned against the doorjamb. “If you need to use the bathroom, the one in the hall has lift bars and would be big enough for you to get your chair inside.”
Relief filled me. “That’s a great idea. Thanks, Zel.”
She shrugged and pushed off the doorway. “Not a problem. When you’re done there, I made coffee, and I baked some muffins, too, if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks, that sounds delicious.” I rolled out of the room and followed her to the common area.
“Don’t you want to put on your shirt before you go out?” Zelda frowned.
“Nah.” I winked at her. “I don’t mind giving your neighbors a thrill.”
I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure she snorted as I made my way out the door to the hall bathroom, which was blessedly unoccupied and easy to use.
When I came back into her room, Zelda was curled in a corner of the couch, staring out the window. It was gray outside; I wondered whether it was going to snow. It had been cold enough over the last few days, that was for sure.
On the low table in front of the sofa were a plate of muffins and two mugs. Zelda pointed at the one nearest me. “I poured you some coffee. Lots of milk and no sugar, right?”
“Yeah, that’s it.” Reaching down, I picked up the coffee and blew across the surface out of habit. “I can’t believe you woke up early enough to bake muffins. How did you do that?”
I shuddered. “Six. That’s the middle of the night.” Breaking a muffin in half, I took a bite and hummed a little. “This is delicious, Zel. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She turned her attention back to the window, letting the silence between us stretch out. I swallowed the first half of my muffin before I spoke again.
“Zelda, last night—”
She shifted to face me. “Eli, please don’t say anything. Please. If you value our friendship, like I do—let’s just pretend last night didn’t happen. I was stupid and—we just shouldn’t have done that.”
The bottom dropped out of my stomach. “I don’t understand. It wasn’t—you weren’t stupid, Zel. And why shouldn’t we have done it? We’re friends. We know each other. I like you, Zel. I like you a lot. I enjoy being with you, and we—”
“That’s why.” She folded her arms over her chest, her face a study in misery. “I never do this. I’ve never hooked up with someone I knew well or liked. I always stick to people I’ve just met or acquaintances. This is just a bad idea.”
“Why?” I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the answer, but I asked the question anyway.
She drew in a deep breath and fastened her gaze on the table between us. “Because I can’t be who you need me to be, Eli. I’ll fuck it up. I’m not going to promise to be exclusive, because I’m not made that way. Someone else will come along, I’ll want to have sex with him—and then you’ll be hurt. You won’t be able to help it—it’s just how people are.”
Pinching off another bit of the muffin, I put it into my mouth, although it tasted like sawdust now. “I don’t have expectations, Zelda. I didn’t ask for exclusive. I don’t need you to be anything or anyone.”
She leaned forward and raised her eyes to mine, and hers were filled with misery. “You think you don’t, but you will. If this had happened back before we really knew each other, or if I didn’t like you as much as I do, I wouldn’t care. But I do. And nothing you say is going to change that.”
Next Man Up (Making the Score Football Romance Book 2) Page 15