by J. J. McAvoy
“You can pick whatever,” I muttered, still eating. I was sure they would all match perfectly and hurt like hell when the day was over anyway.
“I’ll start your shower,” she said, moving to the bathroom.
When she disappeared inside I fell back down onto the bed to freak out as I should have when I woke up. Oh my fucking God! I was dreaming about him. Ethan. I barely knew him and yet I wanted to screw him so damn bad.
It’s not your fault, Ivy! I tried to comfort myself. It wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t one of those sappy girls. I wasn’t Klarissa Moretti, who was ready to do a goddamn back flip just to get Ethan’s attention. It was just biology. I hadn’t been with anyone in so long my body was just reacting to attention…just biology. It had nothing to do with Ethan.
Ethan? Why did I keep thinking his name? “Ugh.” I groaned, placing the pillow over my head. And I wanted to cry at how soft it was. Like someone had picked wings of an angel and put them on the bed…I slept on this?
“Ma’am, it’s ready.” She stepped out, and I immediately sat back up, putting the pillow down beside me. However, she didn’t look at me any differently, just waited.
Lifting the tray and moving it to the side, I walked into the white marble bathroom. Everything from top to bottom.
“Would you like me to wash your hair?” she asked, following me inside.
“I’m good from here really. Thank you,” I said, quickly realizing then I didn’t ask her for her name. But if she was anything like the hotel people I doubted she would be very conversational. I didn’t want to become…to become like them. All high and mighty as if they were better than everyone else. “What is your name?”
“Danielle, ma’am—”
“Please stop calling me ma’am. It feels weird.” I laughed, brushing my hair behind my ears.
Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry. No one told me you preferred Mrs. Callahan.”
What?
“No. I meant…” Fucking fuck man. She looked scared.
“Either is fine, don’t worry,” I said quickly, and she nodded, leaving the bathroom. Stripping, I turned to look at my reflection, but the glass was already foggy due to the steam. On the counter I saw the robe…the one with my new initials on it. IC, even though I wasn’t even married yet. Taking off the ring, I placed it on top of it before stepping under the shower…
Mrs. Callahan.
I was going to be Mrs. Callahan.
I knew that but hearing it said was…
“Dad, what am I doing?” I sighed, placing my head on the marble. Upon asking that question my heart ached…he was gone. I was doing this because he was gone. Because this was my only option.
“And what can you do from a prison cell eight hundred miles away?” Cillian’s voice snaked into my mind.
Slamming my hand on the wall in anger, I stood back up straighter.
That’s why I’m doing this.
Washing my hair and body as quickly as possible, I stepped out of the shower to find Danielle holding a towel for me along with the robe and ring. Startled, but it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to being watched so carefully, I took it, drying down. From the start to finish she focused on making sure I looked and smelled perfect.
“Is there anything else you would like?” she asked, handing me a burgundy clutch purse that had nothing inside of it, and spread something on my face for the makeup.
“Danielle, is there a reason for the gray and burgundy?” I asked, staring at my reflection…I didn’t recognize myself…again. She’d even added soft waves to my gold hair.
“No. Mr. Callahan is wearing these colors today,” she said as if it were nothing, laying my hair over my shoulder.
“You had me match him?”
Knock.
Knock.
She rushed to the door, opening it partially. “She’s ready.”
Am I? When the door opened wider I thought I’d see him. But he wasn’t there, just one of the big guards.
“Good morning, ma’am. Mr. Callahan is waiting downstairs,” he said, moving for me to walk out.
“Thanks,” I said, stepping out. And when I did, I noticed for the first time that the only two rooms in the whole hall were mine and, I would guess, his as we walked toward the elevator.
“We’re coming down,” he spoke into the mic, and I couldn’t help but grin. It was like he was part of the secret service.
When we got off my heels clicked as I reached the grand staircase. At the edge I saw him scrolling through his phone, dressed in a dark gray suit and burgundy tie and shoes and I waited. I might have had to wait forever had one of the two men beside him not gotten his attention. He glanced up, his green eyes solely on me. Placing his phone into his suit pocket, he walked up the stairs and offered his arm.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Morning,” he replied. Neither of us said anything, walking back down the stairs and out the front the door where a white Bentley sat parked. He took the keys from one of the men and opened the passenger door for me. Sitting in the red-colored seat, I watched as he walked around to sit beside me.
“You look nice,” he said, starting the engine.
“You had to wait until we were in private to say that?” I crossed my arms. “Why? You think your cronies will think you’re soft or something?”
He glanced over at me, one of his eyebrows going up as he asked, “Who the hell still says cronies?”
Seriously.
“Me.”
“And yet you call me bizarre.” He snickered, shaking his head as he drove past the gates.
“I never said I wasn’t either,” I muttered, leaning back into the seat. In the rear-view mirror I saw the black Range Rover following us.
“You are Catholic, correct?” he asked only now…as we were on the way to his church.
“Does it matter?”
“Is it impossible for you to answer me directly?” He frowned.
He was kidding me! “You hardly answer me directly either!”
“What have you asked that I haven’t answered?” His palm slid over the steering wheel with ease. And I caught the gold ring on his pinky finger.
“Last night when I asked you where you disappeared to…you distracted me and avoided the answer.”
“You never asked—”
“I did—”
“You stated I disappeared. You never asked me where I went.”
I thought back to that conversation and wanted to roll my eyes. “It was an implied question.”
“I don’t answer those,” he stated, pulling up at red light, staring down the street.
“Fine. Are you a gangster, Mr. Callahan?”
The moment I asked, he looked over at me. His eyes cut like knives through me but what really took my breath away was the smile that spread over his lips. He was…so damn beautiful.
“Remind me to get you an updated dictionary,” he replied, pressing down on the gas so hard my body jerked back as he accelerated.
“See, you’re not answering.”
“Yes.” He glanced at me through the corner of his eyes. “But a gangster with sophistication and morals.”
“What kind of morals could you possibly have?”
“A biblical one,” he said as we pulled up to the cathedral, and of course there was a spot dedicated for his family, which he easily parked in. He didn’t move to take off his seat belt, just glanced up at the church before saying, “Appoint as a penalty, life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.”
He thought he was so slick, so I reminded him, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”
“And yet here you sit, a hypocrite.” He snickered. “Where is your forgiveness?”
Al
ways had to have the last word. “I never said I was moral.”
“It was implied,” he said and though he was serious I could feel him tease me.
I shrugged. “Apparently those don’t count.”
“Apparently,” he replied, stepping out of the car and walking over to my side. When he opened it, I saw his eyes shoot down to my legs as I did my best to step out without opening my them. Taking his hand, he helped me out.
We must have come a little late because we were the only ones in the parking lot, and when I said we, I meant him, his shadows, and me. We walked through the doors as they held them open for us. And I realized we weren’t late, but perfectly on time. Mass hadn’t started yet, but everyone was already seated, and when the doors opened they glanced back at us…they were waiting for us. He wasn’t even fazed, walking to the very front where the rest of his family sat. Blessing myself before I entered the pew, Ethan sat on the end, sandwiching me between him and his grandmother, Evelyn, who looked me over and nodded, approvingly. Of what, I wasn’t sure. But I took the book she handed to me.
Not a second after we sat the music played, signaling for all of us to rise and turn back as the priest came in. Instead, on the other side of the church, I saw the brown eyes of Klarissa glaring at me, not just her but a few other women too, and I wondered just how many of them Ethan had actually been with.
“Don’t mind them,” Evelyn whispered as everyone else sang. “Each one of them would sell their souls to sit where you sit. Everyone knows now.”
Would one soul even be enough for this spot? Sitting back down, Ethan leaned into me, softly saying, “Would you like to turn the cheek or your list?”
My eyes widened as I stared at him. He chose now to bring that up? Now?
“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
He was the devil. Fucking evil. He wanted me to say it, to reconfirm it here, in church, in God’s house.
“My list,” I muttered.
The son of the bitch had the nerve to smirk at me.
“It’s all right,” he whispered, looking forward again. “If we were sinless we wouldn’t come to church.”
TEN
“All my life, I've understood the nature of where I come from, but I never thought it might be wicked until now.”
~ Brenna Yovanoff
IVY
I exhaled, staring at my reflection in front of the bathroom mirror in the church. The whole mass felt like I was holding my breath, making sure I didn’t make any mistakes. I didn’t even really listen to the message…scratch that, I didn’t listen to it at all. How could I when I felt a dozen glares like daggers shooting into my back, Ethan’s thigh brushing up against mine, and his grandmother holding on to my hand.
“You looked overwhelmed.”
My head shot up to fucking Klarissa Moretti, dressed in a cream-colored skirt and black blouse. She walked over to the counter and placed her clutch down.
“I have to give it to Ethan. He sure knows how to pick his women.” She smiled, taking out her red lipstick. “Look at us, we’re beautiful.”
“I wasn’t aware Ethan was into polygamy.” I smiled, washing my hands. “But then again there is only one ring on the two pairs of hands here, so…you must be mistaken about whose woman you are.”
She glared, and I could have sworn her eyebrow twitched. Calming down, she forced a smile. “Keep the ring. I can buy my own rock. At the end of the day, you may be his…but the moment shit hits the fan, as tends to happen in the Callahan family, he’ll realize you aren’t strong enough to be his woman.”
“And you know how strong I am how?” I dried my hands and faced her.
She placed her lipstick back in her purse and turned to me. “You’re right. Excuse me. I don’t know you. I know me. I know what Ethan and I are. When his mother died, I was there. When his father died, I was there. And after making love to me in ways you can’t even imagine, until the sun came up, he told me he was glad he always had me. I also know, a girl with traitors for a family, isn’t hardly worth even the purse you’re holding. O’Davoren…nothing but a bunch of—”
I couldn’t help it. I punched her right in the nose and when her head jerked I grabbed onto her neck, throwing her up against the wall, squeezing tightly until she kneed me in the stomach so hard I let go, backing up. She moved to slap me, but I grabbed her wrist.
“We should stop before this ends badly.” I smiled at her, squeezing tightly. “I apologize for almost snapping your neck, but…Klarissa, if you step in front of me again and open your slutty mouth about either Ethan or my family, I won’t be so gracious.”
She glared, ripping her arm back. “Or we can have this out like any Callahan women should.”
“And you know what about being Callahan?” Donatella stepped into the bathroom, dressed in a dark navy pant suit, walking to the counter where she pulled out a tiny bottle of lotion. Her eyes looked at us through the glass. “Well, Klarissa? What would any Callahan do?”
“Dona.”
“Donatella. You aren’t family. If you wish to address me, it is either Donatella or Ms. Callahan.” She snapped at her. “And for the record, we Callahan women don’t fight over men. What a waste of time to fight over what we already have. I, however, don’t see anything wrong with hurting anyone who hurts my sister.” Like a wolf she moved to stand in front Klarissa, who would have taken a step back had Donatella not grabbed her chin. “You aren’t special. He knew you were waiting and even after sleeping with you, even though he’s close with your father, he still chose someone else. Why? Because you mean nothing to him. And if he knew you were in here trying to cause trouble in his name, to undermine him like this, what do you think he’d do?”
When Donatella let her chin go Klarissa closed her eyes and when she opened them tears were being held back by sheer willpower.
“I’m sorry. Please, let’s drop it.”
“I was just here to powder my nose.” Donatella shrugged, walking toward the doors again. “I didn’t see anything, so he couldn’t possibly hear anything from me.”
When she left it was just Klarissa and me.
And when she didn’t speak I did.
“Aren’t you going to apologize?” I said to her, walking back to grab my purse.
Silence.
“I guess not.” I watched as she headed out.
“It won’t happen again,” she said, hovering right outside the door. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you aren’t…but you will be—”
BOOM!
My body flew back into the wall, the heat from the blast along with the smoke pouring into the bathroom from the hall…the hall I could clearly see now that the door was gone…no, not gone…shattered on top of Klarissa’s body…a piece of wood in her thigh. Pushing my body off the ground, tissue, ash, and pieces of the wall fell off me as I got up. Reaching for my ears, I felt the blood but didn’t believe it until I saw the crimson liquid on my fingertips. The ring in them didn’t stop until I slowly moved to the door.
“…help…me…” I heard her voice.
Turning back to her, I watched as she reached out to me. I stared at her for a long time. She looked like a beautifully broken American Girl doll.
“No.”
ETHAN
“Where is she?” I asked Donatella as she stepped down the church steps toward me.
“Who?” She pretended not to know. Pushing up off my car, I stood in front of her, which only made her roll her eyes. “She’s having a chat with Klarissa in the ladies’ room.”
God damn it, Klarissa. “She and her father are both the same,” I muttered to myself, moving to the stairs when she spoke again.
“Let her handle it, Ethan. She’s not a child. Besides, she’d already got a good punch in when I entered. I highly doubt she’s not dealt with worse—”
BOOM!
Instinctively, I grabbed Dona, pulling her toward me and down, covering her head with my arms.
“Oh my God!”
> “HELP!”
“FIRE!”
People screamed all around us, and for a brief second I felt a very familiar feeling, a moment of déjà vu as the chaos unfolded around us. Rising to my feet, I stared up at the flames coming out of the church, the bodies stumbling out, tripping over each other as they tried to escape, not caring as they pushed and trampled each other to save themselves.
“TOBY, GET HER HOME!” I hollered to the men behind me, pointing at Dona before pulling out my gun. I saw Greyson and three other men in the corner of my eye, nodding for them to go first. He pushed them out of the way, clearing a path for me to get through the rubble all over the cracked floors, the bodies just lying there, unmoving.
“Who came out?” I asked him, using my handkerchief to cover my mouth from the smoke. They stalled. “WHO THE FUCK IS IN HERE?”
“Ethan? Uugh.”
Spinning around and stumbling through the rubble, with only one shoe on, her hair a mess and blood coming out of her left ear, coughing…was Ivy. Rushing to her, I lifted her up, her arms wrapping around my neck.
“I’m…fine…” She tried to say.
“Don’t speak.” I dropped the handkerchief over her mouth, holding on to her tightly as we made it toward the exit. Luckily it wasn’t far. She gripped on tightly, turning her head from the sun once we made it outside. Rushing to one of the Range Rovers, I put her inside.
“ETHAN!” Dona, who should have been gone, struggled in Toby’s arms, screaming until he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. “NANA! ETHAN! NANA!”
The sheer horror in her eyes was only matched with mine as I turned back to the church…everyone had come out…except her. She always stayed back to speak with the deacon. Fuck! All the men were inside. Toby was already speeding out. There was no one else left I could trust to take her. FUCK!
“Go.” Ivy coughed, sitting up in the backseat. “Go…I’m fine.”
Clenching my teeth in rage, I slammed the door on her and moved toward the driver’s seat when thankfully, Greyson came holding on to…my…a woman who wore my grandmother’s clothes, but the burns on her arms…left me stunned. The paramedics came just as they made it within distance of me.