“Like what?”
“Like lust. Show me your worst, Ryder, exactly what you’d do to me if you had the freedom to.”
His eyes lit with a deep flame for a moment but he didn’t give in to it, suspicion filling his gaze instead.
“Why are you so desperate to hide from her?” he demanded.
“Please, Ryder. I don’t have time to explain anything now.”
The white room around us suddenly melted and we were in a stone chamber instead. Ryder was behind me and he shoved me down, bending me over a cold, stone table.
Manacles locked around my ankles and my legs were spread wide. He secured my wrists together at the base of my spine, tying them tight enough to hurt.
I was wearing a leather dress which pushed my breasts up and hugged my figure but I had no panties on beneath it.
“You asked for it,” Ryder growled behind me as he caught a fistful of my hair in his grip.
He slammed into me and I cried out as he shoved me down onto the stone table with the same motion.
The side of my face was pressed against the rough stone as his grip in my hair tightened painfully and he drove himself into me again.
I was completely immobilised, at his mercy as he continued to fuck me as roughly as he could and I cried out in pleasure.
Heat pooled between my thighs and my breathing came faster as the lust of the illusion slid beneath my skin and real desire unfurled within me like a beast begging to be sated.
I didn’t try to fight anything he was showing me, soaking in the lust and desire he was feeding me despite the fact that my nature made me want to break free of the ties he’d placed on my limbs and throw him down onto this table beneath me.
“That’s enough, Mr Draconis!” Miss Nightshade’s voice burst through the illusion and Ryder released me from it, his gaze trailing over my face as he drank in the way he’d just made me feel.
My hand was still pressed to his chest and I’d shifted closer to him so that only a few inches divided us. He knew I’d enjoyed that even if I wouldn’t admit it out loud and the smug light in his eyes made me want to knock him down a peg or two.
“That was fun,” I teased in a low voice. “So cliché though, don’t you think? Dressing me in leather and taking me to a sex dungeon? You’ll have to do better than that next time.”
His lips twitched with what I could have sworn was amusement and I stepped around him, sliding my fingers down his chest until I touched his belt and my hand slipped off of him. I didn’t miss the way his heart leapt beneath my palm and the heat he’d built in my skin grew at the thought of me affecting him that much.
Miss Nightshade sighed as I stepped into the room, her lips pursing with irritation. “He’s gone and buried your emotions beneath a layer of lust,” she complained.
“Oh?” I asked innocently, focusing on the way the illusion had felt and wondering if I’d ever really let him do that to me. Not that there was any chance while he kept to his deal with Dante, but I had to admit I was curious about the things he showed me. I certainly wasn’t submissive by nature but maybe pretending to be for an hour or two wouldn’t be entirely awful…
“Now all you’re thinking about is sex,” Nightshade tutted irritably. “And I’ve been thinking a lot about ways we can work on your grief. Do you feel ready to discuss your father today at all?”
I quickly shoved my mind onto Gareth, remembering the way he used to ruffle my hair and get glitter in it. It was really fucking annoying and I missed it more than I could put into words. A spike of pain followed the memory and I let myself feel it for a moment so that she would sense it too.
“No,” I replied simply and she nodded as she took in a tendril of grief.
I thought about the way Ryder’s hand had fisted in my hair, the tightness of his grip giving away his own desire, showing me exactly how much he wanted to do that to me.
“Oh for the love of the moon,” Nightshade grumbled. “I feel like you already indulge in lust too much without having Basilisks feed you more of it!”
“I indulge in lust too much?” I questioned.
“Yes. You use it to help you bury your other emotions. You’ve taught yourself not to feel the pain of your grief too sharply. You avoid looking at it. But in order to maintain that you need to feed your body other emotions to distract you. Joy is hard to come by and even harder to hold onto in the face of grief. But lust is all consuming, giving your flesh to the act of love is the ultimate way to forget your pain. And I believe you indulge in it too much.”
“Well there are worse things in the world,” I commented, my mind on Ryder’s body possessing mine. “Is there any reason why you had to change my session to today instead of tomorrow?” I asked just to give myself something to say.
“Oh it’s nothing really,” she said dismissively but the beat of her heart made me sit up a little straighter because that was a lie.
“So I’m less important than nothing?” I asked with a sigh like that was exactly what I expected from life even though I couldn’t give two shits about whether she saw me as less important than a wasp turd or not.
“No, no. I just had an unexpected change to a meeting I can’t miss so that’s where I’ll be tomorrow night. Nothing to fret about.”
“Oh. Is it a date?” I asked, wondering if this had anything to do with her shadiness.
“Erm…yes. A date. Yes,” she said. Lying again.
“Nice,” I commented, smiling politely and turning my mind back to the way Ryder had made me feel in that hallucination so she didn’t catch on to my interest in her secret meetings. I bit my lip at the thought of the way he’d pinned me down, his fingers biting into my hip hard enough to bruise…
Silence fell for a long moment and Miss Nightshade threw her hands up. “I don’t wish to spend an hour in the company of lust. Before I know it, I’ll be all het up myself and I have things to do tonight to prepare for my meeting…I mean date tomorrow. I think it’s best if we leave this session here.”
“Really?” I asked excitedly. She clearly caught that emotion and scowled in response.
“Yes. I’m going to request that you do not engage in any sexual activity on the day of our next session so that we can get deeper into your mind than lust. Agreed?”
I shrugged because I did not agree but whatever. I was free! That had gone even better than I’d hoped it would.
“Off you go then.” She waved me towards the door and I practically sprang out of my seat.
I headed out with a quick goodbye and pulled the door shut behind me.
My gaze instantly fell on Ryder where he was sitting on the couch outside her office, clearly waiting for me.
“Hey,” I said brightly. “My session ended early. What are you-”
“Talking to you,” he replied without letting me finish my question. “Because we have a few things to discuss.”
Ryder got to his feet and pointed towards the end of the corridor, clearly meaning for us to start walking and I chewed my lip as I fell into step with him. He obviously wanted an explanation and it was going to be pretty damn hard to give him one without telling him about Gareth.
At the end of the corridor, he led me left and up the central staircase in Altair Halls, guiding me along until he chose a door and opened it. I followed him into the dark classroom and looked around at the abandoned desks in the dim light which filtered in past the closed window shutters.
“Am I here to learn a lesson?” I teased, hopping up onto the teacher’s desk and looking at him expectantly.
“I’m not just going to let you use me to fool Nightmare without an explanation,” he said, folding his arms and leaning back on a desk at the front of the class. He fixed me with a hard stare, the word pain aimed towards me on his knuckles where he gripped the thick muscle of his bicep.
“Nightmare?” I asked with a grin. “You came up with a cute little nickname for her?”
Ryder’s scowl deepened. “I don’t do cute. And that’s wh
at everyone calls her.”
“I dunno, Ryder, I think you could be pretty damn cute if you wanted to be,” I protested, my eyes trailing over his huge frame as he towered over me. Every thick muscle in his body seemed permanently tense and the scowl on his face might as well have been fixed there full time. His eyes were hard and his jaw tight. Everything about him screamed run the fuck away and cute was probably the last adjective anyone would ever attribute to him. But I wasn’t everyone. I was Elise Callisto and I was beginning to think I was actually capable of piercing his armour sometimes.
He didn’t reply, his gaze darkening and I smirked at the challenge he presented.
I slid off of my desk and walked towards him slowly, feeling like a mouse approaching a cat. Or a snake was probably more accurate.
He didn’t move as I closed in on him and I had to tilt my head back to look up into his dark green eyes.
“You just need to loosen off this asshole posture you’ve got going,” I said, reaching out to try and unfold his arms.
His muscles tensed as he maintained the pose and I pouted at him as he refused to play.
He let out a breath of irritation and relaxed enough to let me uncross his arms. My hands lingered on his biceps for a moment as I tried to rearrange him into a more relaxed pose and he watched me like he had no goddamn idea what to make of me. Which was exactly how I liked it.
I huffed when he continued to look just as tense with arms uncrossed as he had before and reached up to unzip his leather jacket.
I stood on my tiptoes and made an effort to mess up his hair, my chest brushing his as I had to reach as high as I could and he made zero effort to make it easier for me. His dark hair was so short that it was pretty much pointless but the tension in his shoulders eased a little as I tried and I smiled triumphantly at the minor change.
“Now stop scowling,” I commanded.
“I’m not scowling,” he replied obnoxiously. Because he absolutely was scowling. He had the frowniest fucking face I’d ever seen which was a damn shame because it was a pretty fucking gorgeous face too.
I rolled my eyes and ran my thumbs over his eyebrows in an attempt to smooth out the furrows there.
“You’ll give yourself premature wrinkles frowning so much,” I said.
“Why would I give a shit about that?”
“Because your face is so nice, it shouldn’t be all scrunched up so often,” I shot back.
His gaze softened a little as I ran my fingers across his forehead again and his hands skimmed my waist as he almost held me for a moment before dropping his arms again.
I’d been so intent on my work at making him look cute that I hadn’t realised quite how close I’d gotten to him. Our faces were inches apart, our bodies brushing up against each other and the space between our lips almost non existent.
“Are you done?” Ryder asked, his voice rough as his gaze slid over my features.
I looked into his eyes for a moment then sighed dramatically. “You’re a lost cause,” I said, feigning disappointment. “There’s no way to make you look cute…unless…”
I pulled my Atlas from my pocket, snatching it out and opening up my Snapdragonchat app.
I turned and tilted my head close to Ryder’s, smiling as I aimed the camera at us and he looked up at it in surprise as the selfie was over imposed with a bunny rabbit filter. We both had floppy pink ears, little twitching noses and long whiskers as I took the photo.
“What the fuck is that?” Ryder asked as I released him and turned my Atlas to show him the photo of the two of us as cute little bunnies.
“It’s a filter. And now I win because the Ryder in this picture is most definitely cute.”
“Delete it,” he demanded, reaching for my Atlas and I held it away from him with a groan.
“No! Let me keep it!” I begged as he caught my wrist and stole my Atlas from me. “Please,” I added as his thumb hovered over the trash button.
“Why would I let you keep a picture of me looking like a fucking rabbit? I’m the King of the Lunar Brotherhood and I don’t-”
“Oh come on, Ryder, I won’t show anyone. I just want to keep it.”
He paused for a moment, frowning at the ridiculous fucking picture. “Why?”
I sighed dramatically and shrugged. “Because…” Hell I didn’t even have a good reason for that apart from the fact that it was true. It was dumb and pointless but it was also of the two of us and was so not Ryder that I couldn’t help but kinda love it. “Because I do. It’s you and me…I just…want to keep it.”
Ryder stared at me like he was waiting for the punchline and I moved away from him in defeat, perching back on the teacher’s desk as I waited for him to delete it.
He stared down at it for longer than was necessary like he was drawing out the torture then tapped a few buttons before the sound of a message sending hit my ears.
“Who did you send that to?” I asked curiously.
“Me. And now I’ve deleted your copy. So if you want to look at it you’ll have to ask.” He said before offering my Atlas back to me.
“You don’t trust me?” I asked, reaching for it as he stepped closer.
“I don’t trust anyone. And you’re still lying to me so why would you be any different?”
“About Miss Nightshade?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“If it’s so ridiculous then why not tell me?” Ryder challenged.
“Fine.” I patted the desk beside me and after a slight hesitation, Ryder sat down.
He left a few inches between us and I sidled along to fill them so that my side was pressed against his. He eyed me curiously and I took his hand, skimming my fingertips along the callouses which lined his palm.
“I have a thing against Sirens,” I said eventually. “Well, not against them as a whole but against them using their powers to dig into my emotions and them pushing their powers onto me. My mom has been manipulated by a Siren my whole life and she almost sold me into… It doesn’t really matter. Point is, I don’t want to share my grief or heartache or any of my personal business with her. Why should I anyway? Why should I have to justify every fucked up thing about me to her? The only person I want to answer to is myself.”
“What did your mom try to sell you into?” he asked darkly, his gaze fixed on me though I didn’t return it, watching my shoes instead.
I bit my tongue, the pain of my mother’s betrayal like a flesh wound on my heart. Ryder inhaled deeply as he absorbed my heartache, feeling how keenly I’d been cut by this. He knew the pain she’d caused me anyway so I guessed it didn’t matter if he knew the reason.
“She had debts and her employer owned a strip club. So she was trying to arrange for me to work there to pay off what she owed.” I cleared my throat, not looking at him.
“Without asking what you thought of that?” he growled, the anger in his tone a tangible thing.
I shook my head and let the pain of that knowledge wash through me for a moment. The point of contact where Ryder held my hand only drew the pain into sharper focus but I let it come, knowing I had to deal with it if I wanted to try and let it go.
“If you ever find yourself in trouble because of money or anything else you can come to me,” he said in a low voice. “You won’t ever have to make a choice like that while I still draw breath.”
I looked up at him in surprise. “I don’t need someone to rescue me,” I protested.
“I know. You can look after yourself, earn your own money. You’ve got it sorted with the Kiplings, but if there was ever a time when you needed me, I’d be there. That’s all I’m saying.”
I turned to face him and the sincerity I found in his gaze halted any further protests. I frowned at what he’d said, wondering how he knew I was working for the Kiplings as suspicion crept into my mind.
“Did you set me up to work for them?” I asked, pinning him with my gaze and tightening my hold on his hand so he couldn’t escape the question.
“You set yourself up w
ith that first job you did for them. There’s still a fucking cock burned into the Empyrean Fields because of you.” He snorted a laugh.
I opened my mouth, meaning to tell him off but he went on before I could.
“I only pointed out what a good job you’d done the last time. I didn’t tell them to hire you,” he said.
I turned that over in my mind, wondering what I thought of it and whether or not it seemed like a handout… It didn’t. And actually, the idea that Ryder had even noticed the fact that I had zero money and had considered the situation enough to know I wouldn’t want a handout meant a lot on its own.
“Thank you, Ryder,” I breathed, leaning close to press a kiss to his cheek. He turned to look at me like he didn’t even know what to make of my thanks, a frown tugging at his brow yet again. I reached up and smoothed it away with a faint smile. “You’re a good friend.”
“Friend?” he asked, a laugh slipping from him before he could catch it.
“I’m not the one who made the rules,” I teased.
Ryder released a breath of frustration and I smirked at him for a moment before shooting away.
I kept going until I made it back to my dorm and smiled to myself as I lay on my bed. Ryder Draconis might think his armour was impenetrable, but I was pretty sure I was finding my way in. I just wished I didn’t have to do so with an ulterior motive. But maybe the stars would shine kindly on me and I’d find out he had nothing to do with Gareth’s death. Because I had to admit that the closer I got to the Kings, the harder it became to shield my heart from them. The connections I was using to hunt for the person responsible for Gareth’s death were starting to worm their way past my armour too.
I was left in the wake of Hurricane Elise once again. It was a day later and a frown was still permanently stamped on my face as I tried to process what the fuck had happened between us. That girl was an enigma. Every second I spent with her felt like I was getting close to an answer but by the time she left, I felt further from understanding her than ever.
Friends. That word was alien to me. Even as a kid I hadn’t had anyone my age to spend time with. Father had taught me to be wary of people who got too close to you if they weren’t blood. It meant they had another motive. Although if Elise had one, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was. But the simple possibility that she just liked me was more insane than her plotting to assassinate me.
Savage Fae (Ruthless Boys of the Zodiac Book 2) Page 31