by Pamela Clare
“He injected me with that midazolam. I don’t want to feel helpless again.”
“Fair enough.” Kristi turned to Thor. “Do you want me to let Malik and Lev know you’re awake?”
“I want a few minutes alone with Samantha first.”
Kristi nodded. “I’ll be out here charting and pretending I can’t hear you.”
Samantha looked down at him, tears filling her blue eyes. “I was so afraid I’d lost you. I … I care about you, Thor.”
Maybe it was the morphine, but he heard the words she’d intended but hadn’t spoken. They struck something tender inside him, unleashing emotions he’d never felt for a woman. “I care about you, too, skat. I’m so happy to see your face. I thought it was over for me. I just wanted to stay alive long enough for Jones and Segal to reach you.”
A tear slid down one cheek. “I would never have gotten over it if you’d died. I would never be able to forgive myself.”
“None of this was your fault—or Patty’s.”
She nodded, but the anguish on her face remained.
“I’m sorry about the nightmares.” He knew from personal experience how rough bad dreams could be. He reached up with his good hand, brushed a strand of blond hair off her bruised and swollen cheek. “I should have kept you safe. I should have—”
“You almost died saving my life.” She turned her head, kissed his palm. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.”
“You saved my life, too, so we’re even.”
“When did I…? Oh. When I got him with the chisel.”
“Yeah.” Her scream as she’d jumped out of the elevator echoed through Thor’s mind. “He was about to pull that trigger.”
Her face crumpled. “I wanted to kill him for hurting you. I aimed for his eye, but I got his cheek instead.”
“I’m glad you missed.” He wasn’t sure how Samantha would have handled having a man’s death on her hands. “It’s not easy to live with taking a life.”
She sniffed. “It was awful—Vasily stabbing Hardin and cutting Vlad’s throat with that switchblade, watching them bleed and die.”
He wiped a tear away with his thumb. “I’m sorry you saw all of that—the fighting, the killing.”
Her lips curved into a wobbly smile. “I certainly appreciate your job now. You’re my hero, Thor Isaksen.”
She stood, leaned down, kissed his forehead.
From beyond the curtains came Kristi’s voice. “He’s awake if you want to see him. Just don’t wear out your welcome.”
Then the curtain was pushed back and Jones and Segal were there, the two of them staring down at him with worried looks on their unshaven faces.
“Hey, brother, how do you feel?” Jones asked.
“Like I got shot in the shoulder.”
“It was touch and go there for a while, man,” Segal said. “You are one tough son of a bitch.”
Then Jones and Segal filled him in.
Life on station was returning to normal. Jones and Segal had liberated the package from Delaney’s office safe, verified its contents, and secured it once again. Lance was no longer confined to his room. Shields was beating herself up over failing to uncover Delaney’s deception. Tower was waiting for Thor to be healed enough for the long journey home before trying to set up extract. Vasily and his buddies had fled the station a few hours ago on an unauthorized flight to Bellinghausen, a Russian station off the Antarctic Peninsula. They’d taken Vlad’s body with them.
“We heard the plane land,” Jones said. “We got outside in time to see it take off.”
“Were they Delaney’s contacts?”
“Delaney’s emails showed that he tried to make a deal with China, but his buyers backed out,” Segal said. “Then he turned to the Russians. Vasily cut a deal with him but intended to kill him. Vasily hoped to get his hands on the components, I’m sure, but we’ll never know what his true motives were.”
“How did Delaney know Samantha and I were in the LO arch?”
“Vlad overheard us and shot Delaney a text to warn him that you and Dr. Park were still alive and headed back into the station.”
“That’s why Vasily killed him—for betraying us,” Samantha said. “I still don’t know whether Vasily is a good guy or a bad guy.”
“Oh, he’s definitely a bad guy,” Segal answered. “But he’s a bad guy who cares about you—and Patty. This time, that’s what mattered.”
Thor remembered Jones and Segal rushing through the doors after Vasily had already killed Delaney. “What took you two so long? How did Vasily and his crew get there first? Didn’t you lock them down?”
“Sorry, man.” Jones explained. “After we left, they overpowered Ryan and his guys, went for their rifles, and ran straight to Delaney. You said you were backtracking to the machine shop, so we went outside and came back in through the door to the LO Arch, thinking we could get ahead of Delaney. But he had already found you.”
“Better late than never.” Thor struggled to keep his eyes open.
“Okay, guys, he needs rest.” Kristi motioned for Jones and Segal to leave. “Samantha, either you get back into your own bed, or I’ll have these two strong men pick you up and put you there.”
“Listen to her!” Samantha stood. “She’s so bossy.”
Thor drifted into a dreamless sleep.
Samantha was discharged two days later and spent the next few days doing her best to catch up on work. It seemed like an impossible task. She wasn’t sleeping well and was tired all the time. Typing with her healing fingers was uncomfortable despite ibuprofen and the aloe gel Kristi had given her. Worse, her body couldn’t tolerate extreme cold, not even with all of her layers. The moment she stepped outside, she began to shiver, her frostbitten skin to ache. She had no choice but to operate the telescope remotely, doing what she could from the science lab on station and getting help from the other astronomers—Kazem, Greg, Bai, and Nick—with tasks that needed to be performed in the Dark Sector Lab.
Everyone on station seemed to know what had happened. They had been incredibly kind to her. They got her coffee, brought her snacks, carried her tray to the dish pit. Analise Weber, a young woman she barely knew who worked in the galley, gave her a pair of hand-knitted socks to keep her feet warm.
Jason had come up to her in the galley to apologize. “Sorry I was such an asshole. I’m really glad you’re going to be okay.”
“Thank you, Jason.”
She saved her breaks and free time to be with Thor.
Kristi and Decker said he was recovering quickly, but she knew he was frustrated.
“Go easy on yourself,” she’d told him this morning when the pain of his physical therapy exercises had left him tight-jawed and angry. “Three days ago, you almost died. I know you’re not used to physical limitations, and pain really sucks. But you can’t storm your way through healing. Your body needs time.”
Kristi had ducked inside the curtain, holding a tiny paper cup with two pills in it. “Or he could take his oxycodone an hour before starting his exercises like his excellent nurse suggested.”
“Fine!” Thor had snatched the cup from her hand, tossed the pills back, and swallowed them without water.
Kristi had winked at Samantha. “For a Viking, he’s a teddy bear.”
It was both touching and distressing to know that what he suffered now, he suffered for her sake.
But the hardest part of Samantha’s day came at bedtime. Every night, she had nightmares, not just once a night but two, three, or four times. It had gotten to the point now where she dreaded going to bed.
After supper, she tried procrastinating in the lounge, watching some weird B-movie with a few of the others until it was late. Then she made her way to the infirmary, hoping Kristi would let her visit with Thor—or sit beside him if he was asleep. When she reached the infirmary, she discovered that Kristi had already gone to bed in the adjacent sleep room and Thor was awake and sitting up, reading something on his phone.
He smiled when he saw her. “Hey, what are you doing up?”
“I just wanted to check on you.”
He arched an eyebrow. “At midnight?”
She leaned down, kissed him. “Why not?”
He set his phone aside and took her hand. “You’re having trouble sleeping. Nightmares?”
She nodded, sat. “It’s not like most bad dreams, where you wake up and then go back to sleep. They come again and again.”
“Have you talked to Decker or Kristi? That’s post-traumatic stress.”
She shook her head. “It seems stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. It’s real.” He seemed to study her. “Can you tell me about it?”
“Do you think that will help?”
“It can’t hurt. You need to talk to someone.”
Samantha drew a breath, steeled herself. “In one of the dreams, I’m trapped beneath the station alone and my body starts turning into ice. I try to get away, but the ice creeps up from my fingers until my entire body is encased like a piece of fruit stuck in an ice cube. I can’t run. I can’t scream. I just lie there, terrified and trapped in the ice, until I wake up.”
He took her hand, held it fast. “That’s not far off from what almost happened. I’m so sorry, Samantha.”
“The other dream is worse.”
He didn’t push her, but waited.
“You and I are in the ice tunnels running from Steve, who has a knife stuck in his abdomen. He should be dead, but he’s not. He chases us and then shoots you. You fall to the ice, and your blood spreads around you.” Tears filled her eyes, her throat going tight, the horror of the dream only too real. “I try to gather it up so I can put it back inside you. I claw at the ice, trying to get it all, but… Then I wake up feeling sick.”
“Hey, come here.” He drew her against his chest with his good arm, kissed her hair. “I’m safe. We’re both safe.”
“I know they’re just dreams, but when I wake up, I’m so afraid. I don’t want to go to sleep, Thor. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to close my eyes. I’d rather try to sleep in this chair tonight than go back to my room alone.”
Thor released her, scooted to his left, and patted the mattress. “Climb in. We slept in your tiny bed. We can make this work.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Just don’t punch my shoulder.”
Samantha kicked off her shoes, climbed in beside him, drew the blankets up over the two of them to her chin. “God, you’re warm.”
“Good.” He pulled up the safety rail behind her and turned off his overhead light.
She curled up against him, her head pillowed on his uninjured shoulder. “I wouldn’t blame you if you regret it.”
“Regret what?”
“Coming after me. It almost got you killed.”
“The only thing I regret is that I wasn’t the one to kill that fucker.” He kissed the top of her head. “Sleep, angel.”
Samantha inhaled his scent, closed her eyes, feeling safe in his arms. Before she knew it, she was sound asleep.
“It’s good to see you alive.” Tower looked out at Thor from his computer screen. “Jones and Segal have kept me up to date on your recovery. How do you feel?”
“It’s good to be up and around again.” He hadn’t yet regained his full strength, and his shoulder hurt, especially if he didn’t wear the damned sling. But he kept this to himself. “I’m grateful for the care I received here.”
“I hear they’re treating you like a hero.”
This was, unfortunately, true. Since his discharge this afternoon, everyone he’d passed in the hallway had thanked him.
“Their attitude toward us has definitely improved, sir.”
“Glad to hear it.” And the small talk was over. “I’ve already gotten a full report from Jones and Segal, but there are questions they can’t answer.”
Thor recounted what had happened, ending with losing consciousness moments after Jones and Segal had arrived on scene. He was careful to refer to Samantha as Dr. Park. “I woke up the next morning after surgery. By that time, Jones and Segal had secured the package, and the Russians were gone.”
Tower asked him questions, breaking it down—standard for a debriefing.
Had he thought about asking Jones and Segal to come with him to Delaney’s office? What had he been wearing when Delaney forced him to go outside? How far was it from the station to Summer Camp? How had he been able to tell from the webcam image that Dr. Park was even still alive?
“I couldn’t.” It was the truth. “She might have been dead already, but I had to act on the hope that she was alive and that I could save her. I didn’t know for certain she was alive until I got her to Summer Camp and checked her pulse.”
Tower rubbed his jaw, a concerned frown on his face. “You gave your weapon and the location of the Golden Horde components to Delaney and risked your life on a hope that Dr. Park was still alive.”
Thor had known this was going to be an issue.
He explained his thought process—not that he’d had much time to think. “Jones and Segal knew where I was. I knew they’d be warned if Delaney went after the package. Even if he got hold of it, he wasn’t going anywhere. It seemed right to leave Delaney to Jones and Segal and to go after Dr. Park. I believed Delaney would give me her location. I was wrong about that. As it turned out, he planned to kill me outright after getting the intel he wanted. She was just bait.”
“With others on hand, why did he choose Dr. Park?”
Thor answered carefully. “I can’t be sure, but because Dr. Park went with us to retrieve the components, the three of us know her better than anyone else on station.”
That wasn’t the whole truth. Everyone on station knew that Thor and Samantha had slept together. Delaney had gone for Thor’s vulnerable spot—and it had worked. Even so, Thor didn’t regret it.
Then it hit him right in the face.
Did he love her? Was he in love with Samantha?
“Why did you carry her all the way to Summer Camp? Four hundred meters is a long distance in wind chill of minus a hundred. Wouldn’t it have been faster to head back into the station?”
“When I heard that door lock, I figured Delaney would lock the other doors, too. With everyone in the life pod, no one would have heard me knocking. I would have wasted precious minutes trying to find a way in. Instead, I went to the closest shelter I could find, a place I thought might be off Delaney’s radar.”
Tower seemed to consider this. “When you’re armed and the bad guy makes demands, it’s an unusual strategy to give him what he wants. You gave him everything—your weapon, your means of communication, access to the package—to save someone who might already have been dead. In the process, you were shot, got hypothermia and frostbite, and nearly died. But you also saved Dr. Park’s life.”
“Dr. Park could have been anywhere out there. I didn’t have time to fight Delaney or interrogate him. I either needed to find her—or give her up for dead. I couldn’t do the latter. I just couldn’t.”
Tower nodded. “You made some strategically questionable choices, but now I understand why. It all worked out in the end. You saved Dr. Park’s life. The package and the station are secure. Dr. Holcomb’s murder is solved.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You know, I’m tough, and I’ve done a lot of extreme shit. But I’m not sure I could have done what you did. I’m not sure any of us could. You’ve got unusually high endurance. When Corbray and I decided to bring you on board, we knew we were acquiring a somewhat different skillset. Our decision has paid off on this mission. Well, done, Isaksen. Now, heal up, and I’ll do my best to get you all home quickly.”
Thor wasn’t sure he wanted to go—yet. “Thank you, sir.”
Relieved to have the debriefing behind him, Thor disconnected from the satellite VPN, left his room, and made his way upstairs to the galley. The meeting had gone on a little longer than he’d expected, and he was a few minu
tes late joining Samantha for supper. She’d stayed with him in the infirmary these past few nights—with Kristi’s approval—and had at least gotten some sleep.
He walked through the door—and people got to their feet, clapping and cheering.
Hva’ fanden? What the hell?
An amused smile on her bruised and beautiful face, Samantha walked over to him and spoke for his ears alone. “Hey, it’s okay. You look like a deer in the headlights. They’re happy to see you on your feet and grateful for what you did.”
Thor wasn’t sure what a deer was doing inside headlights, but he forced a smile onto his face. “Can we eat fast and get out of here?”
She picked up a tray for him. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me a big, tough guy like you can’t handle a little adoration. Lasagna or beef stew?”
23
“You don’t have to go down there.” Thor drew Samantha’s hood up over her woolen hat. “It’s bound to trigger bad memories.”
“Patty was my best friend. I need to be there. The rest of it doesn’t matter.” Then it hit her that this might be hard for Thor, too. He’d almost died down there. “You never met her. If you’d rather wait here in the station, I don’t think it will take long.”
“I feel like I have a connection to her through her journal—and through you.” Thor kissed her forehead. “I won’t let you face this alone.”
“I won’t be alone.”
“You know what I mean.” He slipped into his parka.
God, she loved him.
He’d been by her side every day of the past two weeks, supporting her recovery, both physical and emotional, in any way he could. He wasn’t going to back out when she needed to go down to the ice tunnels.
Samantha picked up her mask with a gloved hand, while Thor grabbed a small box of things she’d set aside. Then the two of them walked together toward the Beer Can freight elevator, where a group was waiting for the car to return.
“Hey, Samantha, Thor. Let me carry that.” Ryan took the box from Thor. He had taken over running the station as acting winter site manager. “If either of you start feeling chilled, let us know.”