No fucking signal and I’m alone in the woods. The sounds of animals scampering through the dark forest are the only thing to keep me company but they’re only frightening me more. Are there bears out here?
I wrap my arms around myself, but it does little to help me stay warm.
Where’s my jacket?
I didn’t realize until now I’m not wearing it, but blearily I recall taking it off when I was playing beer pong with Sasha.
God, I’m so cold.
My teeth start to chatter, but I’m scared the noise might draw attention from anyone who could still be out here, so I bite down on my tongue, immediately tasting blood.
I don’t know how far I’ve walked before I finally exit the woods onto a dark gravel road. I look left and right, but there’s no sign of any sort of life.
Digging out my phone I find that I have a signal. I call Ansel first. It rings and rings and rings. I try him again. A third time. Still nothing. My worry escalates.
Is he hurt? Shot? Stabbed? Dead?
I call Sasha next. It goes straight to voicemail.
Fuck!
Text messages begin rolling in now that I have service.
Sasha: Where r u?
Sasha: Cops r coming
Sasha: We r buuuusted
Sasha: I’m leaving WHERE R U?
Sasha: Girl I’m leaving ur ass
Sasha: Dani?
Sasha: R U with Ansel? He’s not answering either.
Sasha: R u still coming to my helicopter?
Sasha: Hose.
Sasha: Ducking autocorrect. HOUSE.
Sasha: Dani? Did the police get u? Ur brother is going to kiiiiill u.
Her texts slowly start making sense to my inebriated brain.
There wasn’t a shooting. There was no bad guy coming after us.
It was the cops coming to bust up a house party. Yeah, that’s scary enough, but it’s not what I thought it was. My panic and fear was over what is essentially something normal. All because I’m now hard-wired to expect the worst.
I thought, I really truly believed, it was happening again. That innocent people were being killed and I had to get away.
All the adrenaline in my body leaves all at once. I collapse on the dirty ground. Gravel digs into my knees from the rips in my jeans.
What is wrong with me? Why do I have to be like this? Why can’t I be normal? Why? Why did any of this happen?
My hands shake around my phone, my tears blurring the screen. I can’t get ahold of Ansel and I don’t want to call Sage. I know he’d come get me, but he’d be mad, rightfully so, and I don’t want him to blame himself in any way for this. As it is, Sage is probably losing his shit since I haven’t told him I’m at Sasha’s.
“Shit, shit, shit.” My fingers fumble with my phone and I shoot him a text.
Me: SO SORRY. I didn’t have service. I’m at Sasha’s. I’m safe. Love you.
Sage: It’s 3am Dani. I’ve been worried sick.
Me: I’m so sorry. Really.
Sage: We’ll talk tomorrow.
Me: Sage, I’m sorry!
Sage: Tomorrow, Dani.
I bury my face in my hands, knowing he’s livid. He has every right to be. He’d be even worse off if he saw where I was right now.
I should bite the bullet and tell him, have him come get me, but I’m too upset to deal with what I’m sure is bound to be a lecture.
Scrolling through my phone I stop on Lachlan’s contact. I shouldn’t be calling him, ever really, and definitely not at this time of night.
I do it anyway.
It rings quite a few times before a sleepy gruff voice answers.
“Hello?”
“Lachlan,” I exhale, my breath fogging the air. “I…”
“Dani?” I hear shuffling in the background like he’s pushing his sheets off his body. “It’s three in the morning. Are you okay?”
“N-No.” My voice shakes and I feel tears coming again.
“Are you hurt?”
All the emotions from before come rushing back.
“No, I’m okay, but … can you come get me?”
“Where are you?”
It sounds like he’s grabbing a wallet, keys.
“I … don’t know. I’ll text you my location.”
“You promise you’re okay?”
“Okay as I can be.”
“Are you somewhere safe?”
I hesitate. “I don’t know.”
He exhales heavily. “Send me your location. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
I hang up and text my GPS location to him. Shivers wrack my body and I wrap my arms around myself, walking back and forth about twenty feet to try to stay warm.
Lachlan: In my car and on my way.
Me: Thank you.
Closing my eyes I tip my head up to the night sky. Tonight didn’t go at all how I expected. Exhaustion settles into my bones and after a few more laps back and forth, I sit down to wait.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Headlights flash across my body, the tires on the car crunching on loose gravel. The older model black Acura car comes to a stop beside me. Before I can stand up Lachlan rushes out of the driver’s side over to me.
“Dani, fuck, why aren’t you wearing a coat?”
Before I can blink he whips the hoodie off his head, tugging it down my body along with his heavenly scent.
“I lost it.”
His blue eyes narrow on me. “What happened? You know what, tell me in the car, you have to be freezing.”
He grabs me by the hands and lifts me up. He wraps his warm, strong arm around my body and guides me into the passenger seat. Heat blasts from the vents and a happy sigh escapes me as I settle onto the seat. His car smells like him with a tinge of peppermint.
He climbs in the driver’s side, slamming the door closed with more force than necessary.
“What the fuck happened?” He glances over at me, clear worry shining in his eyes. It surprises me that he’s cussing. He must be really worked up. Or maybe he has a potty mouth outside of school.
“I was at a party.” I wrap his hoodie tighter around my body like it’ll somehow keep me safe as the memories resurface.
“Are you hurt?” he asks again like he did on the phone. “God, Dani, please don’t tell me someone touched you.”
My mouth pops open and I shake my head rapidly. “N-No. Nothing like that. I was drinking. A lot,” I add sheepishly, nibbling my lip nervously admitting this to him since he’s basically a teacher.
No, he’s Lachlan.
“Did someone spike your drink?”
“No.” I look out the window. “But the cops showed up and…”
“And what?” he prompts, his voice tight. “You’re worrying me, Dani.”
I sigh, swiveling my gaze and taking in his profile. His sharp nose, strong jaw bone. He’s beyond handsome. There isn’t a word that exists in the English language for Lachlan.
“It’s dumb.”
“Dani,” his voice is stern, “there’s nothing you could say to me that I would think is dumb in any way.”
“The cops came and I was in the bathroom. I heard the screaming to get out and…”
I trail off and his fingers tighten around the steering wheel. A muscle in his jaw ticks. “And you thought someone had been shot.”
He doesn’t frame it as a question, but I answer anyway. “Yes.”
He glances over at me. “What did you do?”
“I climbed out a window.” I show him the scrapes on my legs that are visible through the rips. “And then I took off for the woods. I had to walk as fast as I could since I can’t run anymore. God, I miss running. I thought I was going to die again.”
“Fuck,” he curses again. I jolt in surprise when he grabs my hand, giving it a soft squeeze before letting me go. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It’s okay.”
He winces. “Dani, it’s not okay. Nothing that happened to you was ok
ay. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”
He gets on the freeway, heading into the city. I know we’ll be at the condo in a few minutes.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
His eyes dart to me looking pained. “I … that’s not a good idea.”
“Why? I can’t let my brother see me like this. I can’t go home drunk,” I argue desperately. Dropping my head I whisper, “I can’t disappoint him.”
Lachlan exhales a weary sigh and nods. “Fine, okay.”
He parks in the underground garage and we’re both silent as we take the elevator up to his place. He unlocks the door and Zeppelin immediately barrels into us. He takes an extra long time smelling me while Lachlan locks up.
When I turn around I find Lachlan standing with his hands on his hips, head bowed slightly. “You were so scared you climbed out of a window, huh?”
I nod, petting Zeppelin. The dog is so big I don’t even have to bend down. “I hid in the woods, under a fallen tree. I didn’t move for a long time. I … played dead.”
His eyes close and he looks pained. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. When he opens his eyes they’re twin glacier pools. “I don’t have any words to make it better for you. I wish I did, but they don’t exist. What happened to you, before, it should’ve never happened. You shouldn’t have to feel like that. Ever. And I’m sorry that a monster ruined that for you.”
“It’s okay.”
It’s okay—two words that are a reflex. He flinches.
“No, Dani, it’s not okay.” I bow my head and he clears his throat. “You should really go home.”
My head shoots up. “Please, don’t make me. Sage will be upset and I don’t … I don’t want to have to explain this to him because it’ll bother him even more. I know he feels guilty for what happened, even though he shouldn’t. He wasn’t even there.”
Lachlan twists his lips, giving me a jerk of his head that’s the only indication he’s agreeing. “Let me get you something to change into. You can sleep in my room.”
“That’s not necessary.” My hands come up in protest, waggling back and forth. “The couch is fine.”
He shakes his head. “Nice try, but no, you can have the bed.”
He crooks his finger, telling me to follow him down the narrow hall. I do, my boots echoing on the hardwood with every step I take.
He pushes open the master bedroom door. My eyes sweep the room, taking in the very personal space that’s entirely Lachlan.
The walls are a dark charcoal color. His furniture is all different shades of rich woods. His bed is a mountain of gray and white blankets. It’s the coziest looking bed I’ve ever seen. At the foot of his bed, on the floors, are stacks and stacks of books. There are more stacks through the whole bedroom. In the corner, the only real pop of color is a comfortable looking low teal chair. Beside it is a small table, one book, and his glasses. Above the bed hangs an art piece of the San Francisco skyline. Beside his bed, stretching above it, is a wired light that hangs down. It’s probably the most modern looking piece in the whole room.
Lachlan rummages through his dresser, emerging with a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts.
Clearing his throat, he says, “They’ll be a little big for you, but you should be able to make it work. The shorts have drawstrings.” He looks over his shoulder at the sleep-mussed bed. “I changed the sheets yesterday, but I can put different ones on if you want.”
“It’s fine. Thank you.” I take the clothes from him and he nods.
“I’m going to go make up the couch. Goodnight, Dani.”
“Night.”
He grabs a pillow off the bed and a blanket from the end. His arm brushes mine as he passes and despite the warm hoodie and the chill that has long since left me, my body covers in goosebumps.
Before he can close the door again, I say, “Lachlan?” He pauses, looking back at me with his hand on the door. “Thank you. I mean it. This … thank you.”
His lips flatten, his eyes dark. He gives me another single nod and closes the door.
I set the clothes down on the bed, reluctantly removing his hoodie I strip out of my clothes, only leaving my bra and panties on. His shorts are way too big for me, like he said, but I’m able to tie them tight enough that they only slide down my hips a little. I pull his shirt on and the hoodie. He’ll be lucky if he gets his sweatshirt back. It’s a charcoal gray color, clearly well-worn and loved, with a faded Led Zeppelin logo.
The dog paws at the door, letting out a whimper. From the living area I hear Lachlan scold him with a stern, “Zeppelin, no.”
Climbing into bed, I turn off the light. Rolling onto my side, I yank the covers up to my chin burrowing down. Surrounded by Lachlan’s scent I’ve decided this is as close to heaven as I’ll ever get. Now that the adrenaline has abated my body feels a hundred pounds heavier than normal. I don’t like the feeling at all. I’ve never felt exhaustion like this before. If I felt it after the shooting I don’t remember because I spent most of those days in a deep sleep after multiple surgeries.
I don’t know how long I lay in the dark, but the door cracks open. Lachlan tiptoes inside quietly like he doesn’t want to wake me.
“Sorry,” he murmurs lowly when he spots my cracked eyes, “I need to grab something. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
He crouches down beside me, digging in the drawer beside his bed. “Want to talk about it?” I shake my head. He pulls a wrapped peppermint from the drawer. “Want one?” Again, I shake my head. He puts it in his mouth, dropping the wrapper on the table.
He starts to stand up, to leave. I grab onto his forearm. His pulse thrums against my palm as he halts. “Don’t leave yet,” I plead brokenly.
Zeppelin jumps onto the bed, curling up beside me. He promptly passes out with a loud doggy snore.
“Do you need something? I can bring you water.”
I shake my head, biting my lip.
Him. I need him.
It makes no sense. It’s illogical. But I do.
Ever since the first day of school there’s been something about him that intuitively I trust, that some part of me, maybe my soul, perhaps something else, recognizes that he’s the one I can share my secrets with.
But I shouldn’t desire him.
I can’t desire him.
It’s wrong.
It’s immoral.
For him.
For me.
“Dani?” His eyes widen with concern.
I swallow past the lump in my throat and go against everything inside me that says I shouldn’t do this, instead listening to the part that’s inexplicably drawn to a man I can’t have.
My hand wraps around the back of his neck, feeling the short dark hair at the base of his skull. He freezes. I don’t miss the catch in his breath or the war in his eyes.
But I don’t let the battle begin, because I know once it does this won’t happen, and God I need it to happen more than I need my next breath.
I lean over, closing the short distance between us. The peppermint on his tongue permeates the air and I lick my bottom lip before I press my lips to his. My mouth tingles from the taste of him. He doesn’t move at first, but then a manly growl echoes in his throat. His long strong fingers tangle in my hair. His hold is tight enough to hurt, but isn’t painful. His tongue finds mine and that minty taste is everywhere.
I’ve never been kissed like this before. It’s a ravaging more than a kiss, like he’s a knight claiming his bounty. His stubble burns my cheeks, but I don’t mind the sting—it’s a welcome reminder that this is real, I’m kissing Lachlan, but more importantly he’s kissing me back.
Heat tingles up my spine, and I climb to my knees, wrapping both my arms around him, pressing my body into his. His hands move to my waist, bunching in the fabric. He’s still kneeling on the ground, and I love the leverage I have above him from my perch on the bed. Like he’s mine to take.
I don’t think I
’ve ever wanted anything or anyone the way I want Lachlan Taylor.
Mr. Taylor.
My counselor.
My fucking school guidance counselor.
Logic is a fickle beast when it’s your heart on the line.
Why him? Why out of every human being on the planet has my heart decided to beat for him? I’m not even sure it’s love I feel, that seems too silly. I don’t know him like that. But the connection can’t be denied. It exists and it demands to be felt. He feels it too. He tries not to, but I see the battle raging within him. We’re both, whether we want to admit it or not, walking a thin line.
Tonight, it has snapped.
He pulls away suddenly, turning his head to the side. I feel cold all over from the loss of his touch. That muscle in his jaw twitches and his fists fall to his sides, clenched tight, the veins roping up his arm stand out sharply.
I fall back, my butt resting on my feet. “Lachlan, that was—”
He won’t look at me, his voice is a taut wire. “That can’t happen again, Dani. Ever.”
“Lachlan—” I try to reach for him, but he stands up, stumbling a couple of feet back.
He reluctantly meets my gaze for one second before his eyes drop to the ground.
“I’m sorry. That should’ve never happened. I’m,” he bites his lip hard, “I’m your fucking counselor. It can’t happen again. Ever.” He sounds pissed. At me? Himself? Both of us? I don’t know. “You’re … fuck, you’re a student. You shouldn’t even be here. In my bed.” He waves a hand forcefully at me. “Fuck.” He scrubs his hands down his face, his palms rasping against his stubble. “You’re drunk,” he rambles, “and I kissed you. I fucking kissed a student.”
“I kissed you,” I whisper softly, suddenly feeling unsure of myself.
His eyes narrow on me. Those normally bright blue hues look black in his dark bedroom. “I’m an adult, Dani. I shouldn’t have let it happen.” He growls out the last words. Running his fingers through his hair that was previously mussed by me, he drops his hands to his sides. “You’re drunk and I should’ve stopped you.” He looks at me brokenly, so completely ashamed of himself.
I want to open my mouth to tell him not to feel that way.
“You’re drunk,” he repeats. “You probably won’t even remember this in the morning, but I will.” He storms from the room, anger radiating off his body.
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