Turning from the window, I swipe my phone off the coffee table and call him. No answer.
Me: Are you on your way home?
His reply comes a few minutes later.
Sage: I can’t leave yet. Sry.
Me: The weather is getting really bad.
Sage: I know. But the boss won’t let us go until this is done.
Me: Be careful.
Sage: Always.
I put my phone away, shaking my head with aggravation. It’s ridiculous that we’re in the middle of the storm of the century and his work won’t let him leave. He needs to quit, and if he doesn’t see it after this then my brother is the biggest idiot to ever exist.
My stomach rumbles with hunger. I heat up some leftover takeout, sitting at the bar top to eat on my own.
The lights flicker and I look around in fear.
Please stay on, please stay on, I silently chant to myself.
They flicker again before cutting out completely.
A small scream tears out of my throat. I slap my hand over my mouth, quieting the sound.
The condo is enveloped in complete darkness, save for the pure white out the window. Abandoning my food, I stumble over to where I left my phone.
The screen lights up and I text Sage again.
Me: The power is out.
Sage: It’s out here too.
Me: Are you coming home?
Sage: The snow is too deep already. We’re stuck here regardless of the power being out.
“You have to be kidding me,” I mutter to myself.
Me: Be safe.
Tucking my phone in my back pocket, I take a deep breath, trying to think if there are any candles anywhere.
But I already know there aren’t, because Sage claims they give him a headache.
Me: Do we have a flashlight.
Sage: Check the drawer by the sink.
Navigating around the room, I bump my hip on the arm of the couch before I finally make it to the kitchen. I open the drawer and pull out the large flashlight, clicking it on.
Nothing.
Me: The batteries are dead. Do we have batteries?
My panic is rising, threatening to close my throat and suffocate me.
I’m alone, in a dark and empty condo. This is a recipe for disaster.
Sage: Fuck. No. Sorry, D.
I let out a groan of frustration.
Sage: Are you going to be okay?
Me: I have to be.
Sage: I don’t think I’m getting out of here tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow.
I stare at his text, biting back anger.
If he’d just come home, or quit this stupid job, I wouldn’t be home alone right now in a pitch-black apartment, moments away from losing my ever-loving shit.
As my anger and panic builds, I make a decision that is both reckless and dumb.
Edging out into the pitch-black hallway, I feel my way down and to the door for the stairs.
God, I hope no one was in the elevators.
My hand closes around the door and I pull it open.
I have to move slowly, since I can’t really see, and only have the barest glow emanating from my phone.
I climb one flight of stairs, exiting onto the twelfth floor.
Finding myself in front of Lachlan’s door, I knock, sending up a silent prayer that he’ll be home.
If he’s not…
Zeppelin’s booming bark echoes and a second later the door opens.
“Dani,” he breathes my name, a hushed whisper upon his lips.
He doesn’t look surprised at all to see me.
His large hand wraps around my left wrist, tugging me inside. He closes the door behind me.
The room glows with at least a dozen lit candles. It’s fairly easy to make out the shape of furniture and it smells like fresh baked goods.
“I thought you might show up,” he murmurs, tipping his head down.
“You did?”
His hands cup my elbows, and I don’t know if he realizes it or not, but our bodies are only inches apart. Zeppelin sniffs at me body, but is oddly more subdued than usual.
He nods. “The dark is a windowless space.”
I tip my head up at him, moistening my lips with my tongue. Being this close to him is doing things to me.
It doesn’t matter that only a handful of hours ago he spoke of how nothing can happen between us.
Releasing me, he turns, “Sit down, do you want some water or something?”
I shake my head, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. The flames from the candles flicker in his blue eyes.
“All I want is to not be alone.”
He glides the back of his fingers over my cheek. “You’re not. You have me.”
He’s never been so bold with me. Maybe it’s the dark, or the storm, or something more. It doesn’t matter, because all I know is how he’s looking at me right now is the way I’ve always wanted to be viewed in someone else’s eyes.
He clears his throat and steps back, maybe realizing he’s being more forward than usual. He lets me pass him, my arm skimming his stomach as I do from the tight space.
Zeppelin is right on my heels. As soon as my butt touches the couch he places his massive head on my legs, wanting me to pet him. I rub his head, smiling as I do. His eyes flick over, watching Lachlan as he sits down on the couch too, right beside me despite the other places he could sit.
The left side of his leg is flush to my right, setting me on fire.
Does he have any idea what his presence does to me, let alone his touch?
Silence envelops us, and I don’t know how to break it or even if I want to.
In the silence, he’s just Lachlan, and I’m Dani. We’re not student and counselor.
The dark and quiet have no labels. They judge no one.
Within the darkness you can hide a multitude of sins. The problem is when the light comes again.
Leaning back against the couch cushions, I angle my head toward him.
He does the same, the two of us blinking at each other.
I jolt in surprise when he cups my cheek in his right hand.
Lachlan is touching me. Willingly touching me. I nearly hold my breath, but force a soft breath from between my lips.
“Why do I have to be so torn up over you?” he murmurs, his eyes raking over my face. Shadows dance over his handsome face from the flickering candles. “You,” his thumb brushes over my lips, “a student. You’re turning me into the worst kind of person, desiring something that isn’t mine for the taking.”
My heart stutters offbeat.
His fingers dip into my hair, lowering to the nape of my neck.
I place my hand over his, not wanting him to let go. I’m so afraid he’s suddenly going to snap to his senses, put distance between us, and I need to soak up every second of this.
His eyes lower, his long, thick, black lashes fanning against his cheeks.
“W-What if you didn’t have to take me?” I whisper the words, scared to give them voice. “What if I’m offering myself to you?”
“Dani…” He shakes his head back and forth.
I take his face between my hands, his stubble rasping against my palms. Rising up on my knees, I scoot forward. There’s only a shadow of space between us. “How can you take something I want to give?”
His tongue slides out, moistening his lips. Those vibrant blue eyes of his are nearly navy in the dark with a hint of gold from the candlelight.
“It’s wrong.”
“It doesn’t feel wrong,” I argue, my forehead pressed gently to his. Our breaths mingle in the air, sharing space like our thoughts and feelings. His eyes close again, his hands opening and closing into fists on his thighs. “You can touch me.” My lips brush his cheek. “I’ll let you. I won’t mind at all.”
I want to climb in his lap, press my body against his. I want to feel all my soft curves melt into his hard planes. I want to feel his lips on mine.
But he needs to m
ake the move this time. This can’t be one-sided. It’s not fair. I don’t want to feel like I’m pushing myself on someone who doesn’t want me back, even when everything says he does.
The muscle in his jaw ticks, his eyes at war, fighting a battle I can’t even begin to understand.
His dark hair tickles my forehead as he moves. “I can’t do this. Why do I keep letting you in?”
I don’t think he’s talking about into his apartment.
We’re so close together now, barely a breath separating us. I desperately want him to touch me, but I know I can’t force this. If I do it’ll only push him away.
I know why he hesitates, it’s what keeps me from claiming what I want. I might be young, but it doesn’t mean I don’t understand the ramifications for the two of us if we’re found out. But it also feels like the greatest crime of all to deny our feelings. Something that feels this right should never be wrong.
But it is.
We are.
And to admit what we want, to give in, is to change the trajectory of both our lives.
His eyes close once more, murmuring my name.
In a blink his hands are on my hips.
I squeak as he pulls me onto his lap. My hips sink down onto him, a soft moan parting my lips at the feel of him pressed to my center.
“Dani,” he croons.
His hands fist in my hair.
I roll my hips, eliciting another moan from my throat.
“Dani,” a purr this time.
Finally, blissfully, his lips are on mine.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
This is what a kiss should be. Something you feel through your whole body. My skin feels hypersensitive to every touch. My palms land on his solid chest, scrunching the fabric of his shirt between my hands. He kisses me with a desperation I mirror with my movements. I’m eager to get closer to him, to feel every part of him.
Our tongues tangle together with a passion we’ve kept chained for months. This is the kind of kiss I’ve seen in movies and read in the books he’s let me borrow. It’s a kiss that changes things. There’s no coming back from this. It doesn’t in any way compare to our first kiss. That was a hesitant, fragile thing, while this is a claiming.
I know for a fact, no one will ever be able to kiss me like Lachlan does.
It’s not like I have many kisses in my past to compare it to, but I know this is special.
Our lips move together, creating a melody of our own creation. My knees press against his side, and if my weight against him is a bother, he doesn’t show it.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, my breasts push into his chest. His hands skim up my sides, his thumbs resting beneath their swells.
I want him to go higher. I want him to strip me bare. I’ve never felt this aching kind of need before. My center pulses and I rub myself against him needing some kind of relief. I whimper, but he stifles the sound with a kiss.
My thoughts are a constant loop of Lachlan over and over again, his name echoing through my brain like a prayer.
I wonder if his thoughts are similar because he moans my name before diving in for another kiss.
In the back of my mind, my conscience whispers at me that I should stop this. Not because it’s wrong, but because he could get in trouble. That’s the last thing I want. I wouldn’t forgive myself if he ever got in trouble because of me.
Morally, the only thing separating us is his position.
Other than that, the way I see it, we’re both adults. I’m eighteen, I’ll be nineteen in a few months on April twenty-second. I know what I’m doing. I’m not being coerced, but my being a student and his being a school counselor puts us in a precarious situation.
But for right now, I want to forget all that.
I dive into the kiss voraciously, giving him my all. I live every stolen moment like it’s the last, and that means leaving no room for regrets. I have to give and take while I can.
Lachlan hardens beneath me, and the feel of him so long and firm against such an intimate place steals my breath, heating my skin. I wonder what it would feel like to reach between us, skim my hand beneath the band of his sweatpants, and wrap my hand around him.
“Fuck,” he growls, roughly yanking down the side of my shirt.
He peppers kisses over my bare shoulder and up my neck. My back arches, causing me to rock deeper into him.
“Lachlan.” I pull his hair, keeping him close to me. I’m terrified if I loosen my hold he’ll come to his senses and stop.
Biting down on my lip, I continue to rock against him, dangerously close to an orgasm. I’ve never had one like this before, with a guy—a man—only on my own. I’m chasing the feeling, even though I’m slightly embarrassed I could come so easily this way.
Lachlan wraps my hair around his fingers, tugging my lips back to his. He’s wild, unhinged. It’s building a craving inside me for so much more.
Lachlan is a gasoline cocktail and I’m more than willing to go up in flames.
“Why you?” he whispers between kisses. “Why. You.”
I don’t have an answer for him, not when I keep asking myself the same thing about him. Some things don’t have to make sense, I guess, not when they feel so right.
His hands slip down my body, to my hips, rocking me harder against him.
“Lachlan,” I gasp, and he bites my bottom lip, tugging it into his mouth.
His blue eyes meet mine in the dark as he releases my lip. “Let go, Dani, I’ve got you.”
I don’t want to let go, because once I do, I’m afraid this moment between us will be over too. There’s no controlling it once I fall off the ledge into an abyss of pleasure. His hold tightens on my hips, his own rocking against mine.
He pants, letting out a low groan. “Fuck.”
We fall together.
Spinning.
Twirling.
Stars.
Pleasure.
Wetness seeps through my underwear, probably onto my pants, but I can’t bring myself to care.
Lachlan wraps his arms tightly around me, his breaths as uneven as mine as he comes down from his own orgasm.
I expect him to push me off, to be appalled by what has transpired between us, but he hugs me tighter, burying his face into my neck, pressing soft kisses to my sensitive skin.
I twine my fingers into his hair, kissing his lips softly.
He places a tender kiss to the sensitive skin beneath my ear.
Our bodies are plastered together and I hope he has no plans of releasing me, because I don’t want to go anywhere. This right here, with him, is where I belong. It’s the only thing I’m certain of anymore.
“Are you hungry?” he asks softly after a while.
I nod against his chest. “But I don’t want to move.”
He chuckles, the sound vibrating against my ear I have pressed to his chest. I place my hand on the column of his throat so I can feel it there too. He grabs my hand, kissing the tips of my fingers.
“You need to eat.”
He stands up with me wrapped around his body, carrying me into the kitchen. He sets me on the counter, where behind me even more candles are lit.
I slowly unwind my body from his.
“Why do you have so many candles?”
He shrugs, opening the dark refrigerator. “I like candles.”
It’s such a simple response, but makes me laugh anyway.
“I can’t exactly cook you anything, so is a sandwich good?”
“That’d be great.”
He starts pulling out everything he needs and goes about making two sandwiches. I itch to ask him about what happened, but I don’t want reality to set in and for him to regret it. It would kill me if he did, when that was one of the greatest moments of my entire life.
Lachlan finishes making the sandwich and adds some chips to the side before passing me a plate. He hops up onto the counter beside me, our legs swaying similarly. Sitting here with him like this, things feel so simple, like I’m a gir
l, a woman, spending time with the man she likes. Things don’t feel nearly as complicated as they are.
I take a bite of my sandwich, chewing in silence.
“Is it any good?” he asks for a moment.
“It’s great.” I pick up a chip, nibbling on it.
“You’re awfully quiet,” he muses. “You’re not regretting things are you?”
My head shoots in his direction. “No, but I’m worried you are.”
The breath that leaves him is a mighty gust. Setting his plate to the side, he turns to me. His lips are a thin line as he looks down at his hands, flexing them in and out of fists. I wait for him to say something, biting my own tongue.
“I should be.” His voice is barely above a whisper. “But I’m not.” He finally looks at me head on, and even though it’s dark I can see in his eyes that he means it. “Fuck, it’s so wrong.” He drops his head, shaking it. “But nothing has ever felt as right as it does when I’m with you. The second you walk into a room, I’m aware. It’s like my body knows and senses you. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.” He grinds his teeth together. “It makes me angry, because you’re young, Dani. So much younger than me. You might think eleven years isn’t a lot, but it’s more than a decade, and believe me we do a lot of growing and changing in that time. I’m so afraid my feelings for you are going to rob you of something.”
I put my plate down, grabbing his hands in mine. It tears me apart how tortured he looks. “You can’t force me to feel the things I do. That’s all me. You have no idea how crazy I’ve felt crushing on you. It feels so cliché—the sexy older guy, but feelings aren’t a faucet you can turn on and off. They just are.”
He pulls his hands from my mine. I can’t even feel the sting of rejection before he’s touching my cheek, stroking his thumb tenderly against the curve.
He leans in slowly, eyes on mine, looking for any hint of hesitation from me, but I give him none. Our eyes close in the same second. In another his lips are on mine. It’s dangerously wrong, but undeniably right.
The next thing I know he’s sliding off the counter and I’m in his arms once more.
I wrap around him, never breaking the touch of his mouth, as he carries me through the apartment and to his bedroom.
I hear Zeppelin’s nails on the hard floor following us, but Lachlan manages to close the door, shutting him out.
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