“Um…Amelia…” Grimaldi nudged her.
The trapdoor crashed inward, and a group of angry Mummy Maids appeared.
“There they are! Get them!” Sigmund shouted. “And that pumpkin!”
Squashy started squeaking in fear, but Amelia couldn’t see a way out of the cellar.
Sigmund reached for Grimaldi’s scythe.
“Get off!” Grimaldi shouted. “This is BRAND-NEW!” The scythe was flashing from green to orange to purple, so the cellar looked like some kind of disco.
Amelia picked up a stray eyeball-toed foot and launched it through the air. It hit Sigmund in the forehead.
But other Mummy Maids were flooding in thick and fast.
How could they escape?
Pots of earwax went splattering into the Mummy Maids’ faces. Noses and eyeball-toed feet went flying as the ground exploded, and from the dust and dirt emerged a big, hairy figure.
“BEEEEEAST!” the Mummy Maids cried.
“I AM NOT A BEAST!” Florence yelled. “I’M A RARE…” She punched one Mummy Maid in the foot. “BREED…” Then she punched another Mummy Maid in the armpit. “OF YETI!”
“FLORENCE!” Amelia and Grimaldi cried together.
“MY ARM HAIRS WERE TINGLING. FIGURED I BEST INVESTIGATE,” said Florence, holding a Mummy Maid up by her toes.
The other Mummy Maids were closing in, looking very angry.
“I GOT THIS!” Florence shouted. “YOU GUYS GET OUT OF HERE!”
Amelia held Squashy tight and grabbed Grimaldi’s hand, and they raced into the tunnel as fast as they could. Florence rolled up her sleeves and flexed her muscles.
“Move it, BEAST!” Sigmund shouted.
With one more giant punch, Florence sent every Mummy Maid sprawling. Then, with the grace of a hippopotamus ballerina, she pirouetted around the stunned maids and tied them together using their own cloth.
Amelia, Grimaldi and Squashy finally emerged aboveground at the edge of the River Styx. Amelia held Squashy close, and even in the cold night air, she felt nothing but warmth. Squashy nuzzled closer, making little squeaks.
Florence caught up with them. She hadn’t even broken a sweat. “OY, GRIMALDI, YOU CAN TURN YOUR SCYTHE LIGHT OFF NOW,” she said.
“It won’t turn off,” said Grimaldi, fiddling with the settings. “I think those Mummy Maids broke it.”
Amelia could hear the music coming from the Fang Mansion in the distance. “I should get back to the ball before anyone misses me!” she said. “Thank you both for helping me get Squashy back.”
Florence threw her arms around Amelia and Grimaldi, and the scythe lit up her fur.
“WAIT….” Florence gulped. “IS THAT…GLITTER?”
Squashy squeaked in fear and hid behind Amelia’s legs.
A patch of glitter sparkled on the ground as the silhouette of a small boy came into view.
“Tangine!” Amelia said. Her brain was racing. How on earth had he escaped from all that goblin slime?
“I thought we were playing tag,” Tangine said quietly.
“WHAT’S HE SAYING?” Florence bellowed. “WHY’S HE BEING SO QUIET?”
“I’m sorry, Tangine,” Amelia said softly. “But you left me with no other option. Why wouldn’t you give Squashy back?”
Tangine twiddled his thumbs. “I just…didn’t want to.” He shrugged. “I needed a pet to play with, since nobody wanted to be my friend. And you were always going on about how great Squashy is.” His shoulders drooped. “Turns out Squashy didn’t want to play with me either.”
“Tangine, you’ve been treating us more like your servants than your friends,” Amelia said. “And you’re horrible to them. Friends don’t order each other around, and they don’t steal each other’s things.”
“But that’s what I do with the Mummy Maids.” Tangine looked confused.
“Well, you shouldn’t. And you’re supposed to share with your friends,” Amelia went on. “Friends are kind to each other. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s mean to them!” She sighed. “Look, I saw something in your dad’s study when I came to visit last night….”
Tangine frowned. “Daddy hasn’t used his study in years. Why were you in there?”
“WHY IS THERE GLITTER ALL AROUND HIM?” said Florence, striding forward.
“It’s okay, Florence,” said Amelia, blocking her way. Squashy started squeaking.
Florence and Grimaldi exchanged a confused look.
Amelia stepped forward. “Tangine…I know. I know your secret.”
A look of panic flashed across Tangine’s face.
Amelia turned to her friends. “I didn’t want to tell you guys, because I wanted to concentrate on getting Squashy back. And I wasn’t sure you’d understand.” Then she turned to face Tangine. “I know who your mother is.”
“Um, Amelia…his mother was eaten,” Grimaldi whispered. “By a fairy!”
Tangine didn’t move.
“That’s not true,” Amelia said. “Tangine’s mother disappeared, but she wasn’t eaten by a fairy…. She IS a fairy!”
“WHAT?” Florence bellowed.
Grimaldi yelped.
Tangine stood quietly in the floating doorway. Amelia couldn’t help noticing how small and helpless he looked.
“No, no,” Amelia started. “The Creatures of the Light aren’t evi—”
“AARGHH! HE’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT!” Florence yelled, charging toward Tangine.
“No! STOP, FLORENCE!” Amelia shouted. But before she knew it, Florence and Tangine were both tumbling through the floating doorway, back into the Fang Mansion.
“FLORENCE!” Amelia cried, leaping through the door after them. “Stop, Florence! You don’t understand!”
But it was no use.
Tangine ran through a door at the end of the corridor, then reappeared through a small yellow one, in front of Amelia and Grimaldi.
“Tangine!” Amelia said. “It’s okay.” But Tangine looked terrified and ran back through the door.
Florence came pounding down the corridor.
“DON’T WORRY, GUYS. I’LL SAVE YOU FROM THAT MONSTROUS CREATURE!” She squeezed herself through the small yellow door before Amelia could stop her.
Amelia and Grimaldi dived after her and found themselves in a room full of yet more doors. Tangine leapt through a pink door and slammed it behind him. The door popped into a thousand pink bubbles.
“OH, MAN!” Florence thundered, punching the bubbles. “YOUR DOORS ARE NOT HELPING!”
“Florence!” Amelia said. “Listen to me!”
“I LOST THE LITTLE SCRUMP!” said Florence, dusting herself down.
“THERE!” Grimaldi yelled.
Tangine emerged from a hexagonal door on the other side of the room. When he spotted Florence, he tried to turn back, but the door had locked itself. Tangine tried the next door down.
Florence bounded over, grunting with every step.
“GUYS! You have to stop!” Amelia cried. Squashy was bouncing up and down in panic.
Tangine backed away from Florence and bumped into a huge stripy door. He tried turning the handle, but it wouldn’t open.
“GAH!” he yelled in frustration. “Stupid doors!” He kicked the next door.
It kicked him back.
Florence pounced. Tangine looked from side to side in terror, then blew a mouthful of glitter in Florence’s face.
“AAAAAARGH! MY EYES!” Florence cried.
A huge cloud of glitter spread across the room. Grimaldi dropped his scythe and waved his hands around in horror. “The SPARKLY stuff! It’s in my mouth!” he squealed, and then gagged.
Florence made a lunge for Tangine, but Amelia threw herself in front of him. Squashy followed, trying to protect Amelia, and Grimaldi tried to grab Squashy. Before they k
new it, the five of them were tumbling through a big swirly door and falling down,
down,
down,
until…
Amelia groaned and looked up to see her mother’s startled face.
They had landed smack-dab in the middle of the Barbaric Ball.
Squashy went rolling across the length of the ballroom with one big SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Every guest stopped what they were doing and stared. Both of the countess’s eyes fell out in shock.
“Uh, hi, Mom…,” said Amelia as Countess Frivoleeta’s left eyeball rolled across the floor after Squashy.
Countess Frivoleeta stood frozen to the spot. Florence loomed over Tangine with one hairy fist raised.
“HE’S A CREATURE OF THE LIGHT! HE’S DANGEROUS!” she yelled.
“Florence, WAIT!” Amelia cried, picking herself up from the floor.
“There’s a Creature of the Light in here?” shouted a cyclops from the crowd.
Tangine sat quietly as a sparkly tear slid down his face.
“GLIIIIIITTERRRRR!” a centaur shouted.
A monster started crying and the cyclops fainted, flattening a fat toad.
“Wait!” Amelia yelled. “Please! Stop! He’s harmless!” But nobody was listening. Squashy bounced into Amelia’s arms.
Count Drake was busy with a crossword in the corner of the room. “Everything okay over there, my dearest little snot-flicker?” he said without looking up.
An ogre roared and ran through the wall.
“Oh, good,” the count said.
Most of the room had emptied, apart from a few imps who were stuck in puddles of goblin slime.
“Florence,” Amelia said, “please listen to me and calm down. We have nothing to be afraid of. Will you let me talk to Tangine?”
Florence looked confused but finally stepped aside.
“Tangine,” Amelia said softly. “Why didn’t you tell anyone about your mother?”
“Daddy told me not to,” said Tangine, looking at the floor. “He said that Nocturnia would never accept a king who’s half fairy.”
“Surely it doesn’t matter what you are, as long as you’re a good king?” Amelia said gently. She sat down next to Tangine. “I saw a picture of your mom. She looked nice.”
“I can’t remember her much,” Tangine said. “But I do remember she gave good hugs.” He smiled a little. “Daddy spends every waking hour looking for her. I can’t remember the last time he spent any real time with me.”
“DIDN’T SHE TRY TO TAKE YOUR FANGS?” Florence bellowed.
“Didn’t she blind you with fairy dust?” Grimaldi said curiously.
“No, none of that is true,” said Tangine, frowning. “Those are just fairy tales.”
“In the photos she looked very different from the fairies we read about in class,” Amelia said. “She had such a kind face.”
“She was the loveliest creature I’ve ever met,” said a strong, deep voice. King Vladimir looked around the room and cleared his throat. “It’s time I told the truth.
“I met Fairyweather while I was out playing in the Petrified Forest as a young vampire. I wasn’t scared of her at all. She was just a sweet little fairy. From then on, we met every morning as the moon was setting and the sun was rising. And as the years went by, I fell in love….”
Vladimir paused and closed his eyes for a moment.
“After Fairyweather disappeared, I felt empty,” the king continued. “I dedicated my life to finding her. While searching the palace grounds, I saw something glimmering by the edge of the Petrified Forest….”
“GLITTER?” said Florence.
“Of sorts,” the king said. “It was the only clue I ever found. A small piece of rainbow parchment, with words written in glitter. It said, ‘GLITTEROPOLIS, the city where the sun never goes down, and your dreams always come true…’
“I thought maybe Fairyweather had gone there, so I searched EVERYWHERE for Glitteropolis in the Kingdom of the Light. I lost sight of the family I still had—my son, who needed me.” He bent down and put an arm around Tangine. “I’m sorry. I should have been there for you.”
Tangine sighed and held his dad’s hand. “It’s OK, Daddy. I really want to find her too. The Mummy Maids are NOT good huggers. They’re all…bumpy.”
“Well,” Amelia said, “maybe…maybe we could help?”
Grimaldi looked scared, but Tangine’s eyes lit up. “You’d help me look for my mom?”
“Let’s think of it as one epic game of hide-and-seek!” Amelia winked at Tangine.
“No goblin slime this time,” he said with a shy smile.
“I can’t promise anything.” Amelia laughed and nudged his shoulder.
Florence stepped forward and puffed out her hairy chest. “I’M UP FOR A FAIRY HUNT—IN A NICE WAY, OF COURSE,” she added. Then she coughed. “ER, SORRY FOR WANTING TO SQUISH YOU, PRINCE T.”
Tangine smiled up at Florence. “Prince T…” He nodded. “I like that!”
Grimaldi stepped forward. “I’ll help too!” he said, thumping his scythe on the ground. It finally stopped flashing. “Oh, thank darkness for that!”
Tangine looked up at the king and smiled. “Let’s find Mom!”
King Vladimir beamed. “You’re so like her, you know…well, when you’re not being a spoiled sprout.”
Amelia raised her eyebrows and Tangine frowned. They both started giggling. Tangine paused, and then threw his arms around Amelia.
“Thhh-aaank you?” he said quietly. “Um, I don’t think I’ve ever said that before.”
Amelia chuckled. “You’re welcome, Tangine.”
Then he cleared his throat. “Squashy…sorry for, well, y’know.”
Squashy looked at him with a little frown.
“Give him time,” said Amelia. “You can make it up to him with some belly rubs!”
Amelia looked around at the ballroom. It was a complete disaster zone. She wandered over to her mom, who hadn’t moved a muscle since her eyeballs had fallen out. “Um…sorry for ruining your ball, Mom,” she said.
Count Drake sauntered over in his Hawaiian graveyard shirt and fluffy slippers. “You dropped your eyeballs, you silly snot-sausage.” He smiled and picked them up, popping them back into Countess Frivoleeta’s head.
The countess blinked and looked at Amelia.
Here we go, Amelia thought—time for a big lecture on what a disappointment I am to the Fang family…
“Ruined?” the countess said. A smile began to crack across her face. “Darkling, that was the best Barbaric Ball we’ve had in years!” She fist-pumped the air and ripped the seam of her dress.
Amelia couldn’t believe her ears. “You…you think so?” she said.
“Why,” Countess Frivoleeta said, “it was positively disastrous. People will be talking about it for centuries!”
Amelia almost burst with happiness.
“OY! LOOK!” Florence was pointing at an imp dancing around Tangine’s feet. The small puddle of goblin slime it had been stuck in was fizzling away.
“The glitter from Tangine’s tears! It’s dissolving the goblin slime! So THAT’S how you escaped my trap,” she said to Tangine.
He smiled and shrugged.
Amelia felt a wave of guilt. “I really am sorry about that….”
“I suppose I deserved it. Bit of a lame trap, though,” Tangine said with a smirk.
“Extraordinary,” said Countess Frivoleeta, shuffling over. “I do believe we’ve found the solution to our goblin-slime problem!”
Squashy bobbed up and down in Amelia’s arms.
“WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?” Florence said. “WE’VE GOT A RESCUE MISSION TO PLAN!”
“You ready, Tangine?” Amelia said.
“BRENDA! FINNEGAN!” He cla
pped his hands twice.
“No, noooo,” said Amelia, waving the Mummy Maids away again. “You won’t be needing them.”
“But who’s going to do my hair?” asked Tangine.
“You are,” Amelia said.
Tangine looked shocked. The king chuckled.
“I DUNNO ABOUT THE REST OF YOU, BUT I’M STARVING,” said Florence, picking a piece of Jellied Brain off the floor.
Wooo flew into the almost-empty ballroom and stopped when he saw the mess.
“I’ll get the mop,” he said, and disappeared again.
The four new friends spent the rest of the night plotting how they were going to find Tangine’s mom. As they made their plans, they used Grimaldi’s scythe as a bat to sling Flabbergasting Fettuccine into Florence’s hungry mouth. Tangine had surprisingly good aim, and Squashy bounced around gobbling up any leftovers.
Amelia laughed, digging in to some Toasted Earlobe Bites. “Y’know what?” she said as Squashy pa-doinged into her arms. “I can’t believe I ever thought the Barbaric Ball was boring!”
When she’s not trying to take over the world or fighting sock-stealing monsters, Laura Ellen Anderson is a professional children’s book author and illustrator, with an increasing addiction to coffee. She spends every waking hour creating and drawing, and would quite like to live on the moon when humans finally make it possible. Laura is the creator of Evil Emperor Penguin and illustrator of Witch Wars, as well as many other children’s books. Amelia Fang is her first series as author-illustrator.
lauraellenanderson.co.uk
@laura_ellen_anderson
@Lillustrator
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Amelia Fang and the Barbaric Ball Page 6