by Rena Marks
She looked up as he walked by—strolling naked as the day he was born. She had the perfect side view of his muscular body. His round, firm ass. So gorgeous he took her breath away for a second.
Then she squealed and jerked her mind from the gutter. “Trance, you’re naked!”
He turned to her fully. “Yeah?” A look of puzzlement crossed his features.
Good Lord.
Shocked that he’d faced her, she squeezed her eyes closed.
But what the hell was that below his waist? It…moved.
“Leah? What’s wrong?”
“You’re naked,” she gasped.
“Yes. Just drying off completely before I dress again. Does it make you uncomfortable?” He was completely, undeniably baffled.
“Humans don’t go naked around each other.” She didn’t want to peek…but she was so tempted to peek.
“But we’re friends. No? I’m sorry. I’ll cover up.”
Giving up on her curiosity, she opened her eyes a bare crack to see his hands over his privates as he backed away. His face was flushed deep purple. She felt awful. Just when they’d made strides, she embarrassed him.
He took longer than she thought to dress. She went into their bedroom after a soft rap on the door. As she expected, he was seated at the window seat, staring outside. Fully dressed. She sat down next to him.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? For me embarrassing you?”
“No. For acting like a prudish human who’s never seen a man naked. In my defense, I’ve never seen a Xeno Sapien naked. It startled me and I reacted with embarrassment. But it wasn’t you.” She took a deep breath. “I was embarrassed by my own curiosity.” Sexual arousal was more like it but she wasn’t yet ready to admit that.
“I know I’m somewhat different from a human. We had basic anatomy classes before humans were allowed in Xenia. I should not have expected that you would be okay with nudity just because we’d agreed to be friends.”
“We are friends. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You’re different all right. But at first, my eyes were glued to your entire form before my brain kicked in and I wondered how…well, how you worked. And now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Did you find me interesting?” His beautiful eyes glittered, as curious to know what she thought as she was to learn about his differences.
“Gorgeous is more like it.” She grinned so he wouldn’t think she was flirting. “Did your anatomy classes go over the differences in sexual compatibility?” Oh, no. That came across wrong. So wrong. “I mean…between you and other Xeno species?”
“Yes. Every species is somewhat different. We’ve learned about each other and about pleasing humans.”
“Do you—I mean, does it embarrass you—I mean, is it too personal—”
His laughter rang out. “Now it is you who is embarrassed?”
She nodded sheepishly. “Because I’m so curious. And it shouldn’t be any of my business. But I got one look at it before I clamped my eyes closed and friends don’t ask each other about their personal bits.”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “I spent a lot of time naked. It’s more of a fact of life for us. I don’t consider it improper for you to ask. Would you like to see me again?”
Her eyes flew up to his. He was serious. He was so fricken serious. Could she be brave?
“Can I?” she whispered. “Just once? Just to ease my curiosity. I’ll never ask again.”
He stood while she stayed seated. Her eyes were lined up with his crotch when he reached out and lifted his shirt. His pants hung low on his hips. Over his waistband, a tiny trail of hair disappeared into his pants. A fascinatingly lickable ridge of muscles tapered into his pants. Her mouth grew dry.
Slowly he unzipped.
She should look away. She shouldn’t be so fascinated. But she told herself it was flat out curiosity. Nothing more. Nothing less.
He pushed his cargo pants over his hips to his bulky thighs. And there, right there up close and personal was the fascination she’d looked at for a split second.
“What?” she whispered.
As she spoke, the squirming, twisting bulge at his groin grew. The twisting veins bulged, filling with blood and grew together, like a writhing mass of tentacles working under the flesh.
“You don’t have a cock?”
“Sure I do. This is it.” He grinned. “Stare at it a little harder. You’ll see what it can do.”
“Can I—” she extended one finger out and then froze. Oh, god. She’d been about to ask if she could touch it.
His breath hitched but his voice was even when he said, “That would certainly work faster than just staring at it.”
Oh. By staring at it, he’d meant that it would turn him on. Make an erection. Even though there wasn’t a cock like she was used to. It was completely inappropriate to touch a friend’s privates. But she found she couldn’t help herself. Especially when she considered she’d never have another opportunity like this.
“Just think of me as a doctor,” she said.
“I’m trying.” His voice sounded strangled.
She traced one of the racing veins and a groan fell from his mouth. It almost felt like he exploded under her touch. The hard mass shifted, lifting, pointing. Growing, definitely growing into a shape. No, lifting. It was as if his cock had been hidden within the skin somehow. Something burst from the top of the bulge, almost like a tentacle. But it was thick, like a cock. With a different shaped head, more concave. Still, it wasn’t long enough to be a dick.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t understand how you have sex. I need it explained to me.”
“That would probably be best. Because having you study me, your mouth so close, your scent, your touch—it’s torture,” he gritted.
Her eyes were wide when she stared up at him, aware of how inappropriate it was.
“Let me give you a quick lesson,” he said. “This is my—what you would call testicles. It houses sperm.” He pointed to the odd-shaped, mouth-like, penis thing. “In my species, they have a dual purpose. They have more nerve endings than traditional testicles that house testes. A female is attracted to the suction. She presses her clitoris here—drawn by some sort of instinct. Some sort of innate pheromone? You’ll find it’s an uncontrollable reaction. You’ll press yourself here and the suction begins. My testicles suck your clitoris.”
Ahh, hence the reason for the stem-like apparatus. It helped the body parts reach each other.
“And then, as you’re enjoying that, and trust me, it’s just as pleasurable for me, the rest of this mound,” he stroked his hand over the writhing mass of muscles, making it grow and twitch, “pulsates. It reshapes to your body. It fills you, stretches you, conforms to the curves within you. Each movement it produces brings us both immeasurable pleasure.”
“It becomes cock-like inside me?”
He nodded. “Personalized. Though to be fair, I’ve never seen another’s cock in action. But I’ve had no complaints.”
“You’ve had girlfriends?”
His face shut down. “Not technically. I’ve had experiences. Remember my lack of friendships? It extends to my relationships when I invade their links. But I did hear one female say it was so worth the experience.” He grinned, all male. “I’ll rock your world.”
The muscles of his groin were starting to soften, the testicle apparatus drawing back into his body.
“It forms a hardened shell, which protects me.”
She looked down again, wanting to see that.
“Don’t stare at it. It’s just going to get hard again.”
She laughed at the pain in his voice and the tension subsided when he laughed with her. “How do you pee?”
“He comes out to pee. Trust me.” His voice was wry. At her silence, he added, “No way am I gonna let you watch me pee. No matter how sweetly you ask.”
“Really?” She grinned. “Cause you just showed me your dick when I asked.”<
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His cheeks purpled a bit. “I’m going to have to work on resisting you.”
Very slowly, he brought his pants up over his sex, zipping them, re-fastening the button. She was actually sad that their moment was done.
“Trance?”
“Yeah, Leah?”
“Thanks for showing me.”
“Anytime. Let me know if you want to touch again,” he mocked, back to being male.
She rolled her eyes even though the idea titillated her.
Chapter Eight
EVERYONE TREATED THEM as if they should have been one unit. When Trance was invited to outings, the inviter usually gave a comment like, “Bring Leah.”
Sometimes when someone wanted to have a get together, it was phrased as, “Would Trance mind if we stole you on such and such date?”
Maybe she was being a bit paranoid, but it was starting to stress her out. That compounded with lack of sleep from her nightmares, which had had progressed from the simple diary entry readings where Trance had listened in…to the beatings.
But the nightmares had worsened after her ex-husband had been arrested. It had been without incident other than he tried to burn her alive inside her cabin. Shawn had rescued the trapped Tempest, who’d taken her place. Everything was done and over now and they awaited his trial.
She was safe. He was locked up.
Yet the nightmares worsened.
Every goddamn beating was re-enacted. Sometimes Trance was tied up in the same room, forced to watch her. Sometimes he was in a cage. She must have heard somewhere that Xeno Sapiens had been caged during their captivity, because she couldn’t think of any other reason why she’d put him in a cage in her dream.
He was present for every humiliation. Every time she was dragged across the floor by her hair. Every time she cowered while kicked.
Sometimes she woke screaming and Trance was so sweet to hug her, once to even rock her back to sleep. But it was getting to be three and four times a night. Every night. She was tired, she was crabby, and she was at her breaking point. She had no patience left, and she trudged through her day, waiting for the trial. Because surely once she reached that milestone, she’d find peace. She’d be able to sleep.
Dreaming of Brock awakened all kinds of inner drama. Nightmares. Flashbacks. If Trance moved too fast, she flinched. And then she snapped at him when she saw the regret in his eyes because of all things, she sure the hell didn’t want him to feel sorry for her.
She knew his work performance had to be affected, too. His beautiful eyes had dark circles beneath them. Something had to give.
He was the one to bring it up. “We need to talk.”
It was her day off—and therefore his. He’d rearranged his schedule to suit hers. She’d protested but he’d merely used the excuse she was beginning to hate. “Leah, I’m your sponsor.”
God, she hated those words. She hated to be told anyone needed to talk. After all, what it really meant was a man talked and a woman listened. And smiled. Because you either smiled pretty, or you cried when the first punch rang out and prayed there wouldn’t be too many others.
“You’re exhausted,” she said softly. As much as she had offered to take the couch, he refused. Insisted on her staying in their bed. His bed.
“So are you, Leah.”
“I’m making your life a living hell, sponsor,” she tried to tease.
“No, you’re not. I just want you to be happy. But the more you bottle up your feelings, the worse it gets. Talk to me. Use me.” Then he said the oddest thing. “Read to me.”
For a moment, she froze. Unease froze her and for a moment, she forgot to breathe. Surely he didn’t say read. No one knew about the letters she had. No one knew about the goddamn diaries. But Trance continued on, seemingly unaware of the panic he’d triggered.
“Leah, you know Xeno Sapiens have certain abilities. Most of us, anyway. Tempest has that weird bone thing where she shoots them out of her skin.”
“That’s not something you should share. That’s up to her to share with people.” She felt the need to shut him up, somehow. Anyhow.
“It’s not like she keeps it secret,” he growled. “And you’re her best friend, aren’t you?” His voice was mocking. “You know this about her. She’s told you.”
His exhaustion was taking a toll. It was almost like he was pissed that she wouldn’t hear what he wanted to share. And he was going to plunge ahead anyway.
“Besides, it wasn’t her abilities I wanted to share. It’s mine.”
Panic made her reach up and cover his mouth with her hand. Shock gripped them both for a moment because it was the first time she’d willingly touched him. “I don’t want to hear it, Trance.” She had an uneasy feeling she couldn’t quite explain. But living with him the way she did, she really didn’t want to know what his power was.
She left her hand over his mouth, but he simply reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
Damn it. Why did he have to be so sweet?
And then she felt the lightest kiss on the inside of her palm. She didn’t even mind so much. She pulled her hand away, tracing his lips briefly. His full, smooth, beautiful lips.
“Let’s take a nap,” she murmured. “We’re both so tired.”
Slowly he nodded. Taking his hand, she led the way to their bedroom. They took their usual positions on the bed but this time—only this one time—he pulled her close. And she let him. She sank onto his shoulder, his chin dropped onto her head. She felt warm and comfortable like she belonged.
This time, when she dreamed, it was a sex dream.
Hell. She couldn’t have that. She just couldn’t. He was too sweet to use and discard. And she could never again live with a man.
Leah stared at Robyn, waiting for her response.
The first thing she’d done when she woke up was wriggle from Trance’s embrace. The poor thing was so exhausted he never woke. She slipped out of their apartment and went straight to Robyn’s office.
She didn’t even mind her bedraggled state.
“Let me get this straight. You want to move out of your sponsor’s home, despite the fact that you shouldn’t even be living in Xenia?”
“I know it’s a lot to ask. But I’m intruding on Trance’s privacy. He has a one-bedroom apartment.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that.” Robyn leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she waited.
Leah took a deep breath. “Okay, look. I’m going to be honest here.”
“As well you should.”
“I—I care for Trance. But I’m having dreams. Nightmares. And I’m waking him up at night. All night. He won’t complain, but he’s growing more and more exhausted. Surely you’ve noticed?”
Robyn nodded. “There have been reports.”
“He’ll get better as soon as he can sleep again. It’ll be healthier this way.”
Robyn typed something into her keyboard. It took several minutes.
“Why is it that you still type?” Leah asked. “It’s so…retro.”
Robyn smiled. “I’m a hacker. I know security measures. It’s harder to hack manual transmissions.” She stopped typing and leaned back. “There’s an empty apartment next door to you. Trance had requested construction to knock down the wall between the two units. We can cancel that order and move you in next door.”
“That—that would be wonderful.”
“Be very clear, Trance remains your sponsor. If he decides you are to get mandatory counseling or places an order for you to visit medbay, his orders override your wishes.”
“I understand.”
“Trance will be informed immediately of your new residence. Your DNA code has been switched to unlock the new place. I imagine Trance will remove your access from his door.”
Leah stood.
“Leah?”
She looked over at Robyn, who leaned back into her chair. “I’d suggest you keep things amicable with Trance. You’ll need your sponsor
’s support.”
Leah nodded.
She’d keep things amicable. She just didn’t want to face him in real life every time she dreamed about jumping his sexy, naked body. And she didn’t want him to force her to talk about her feelings and wonder why.
She wanted life to be simple. She just wanted to enjoy her anonymous, but decidedly naughty, shameful dreams.
Chapter Nine
A month later—while Leah sleeps:
SHE WALKED DOWN the front steps of the main hall to find her husband waiting at the bottom level of the steps.
He studied her appreciatively. “Hey, gorgeous.”
“My man.” She jumped into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist as she pressed kisses to his face. Laughing, he captured her mouth with his and spun her around.
“My wife. Did I not just see you last night? Same bed, I believe.”
“Mmm,” she agreed. “But then we showered and separated this morning. Now I feel like I miss you dreadfully.”
“That’s not a sight for Xeno Sapiens first thing in the day,” someone called out, but their voice held laughter.
“Like X-rated porn,” his partner mumbled, punching his arm as they headed up the steps. “Don’t stop them, stupid. I like to watch.”
Leah giggled and waved at them, and slowly slid down Trance’s body. “I missed you. So much.”
“It’s only been a few hours,” he teased.
“That’s not what I meant.” She hugged him unabashedly, because only here could she be herself. This wonderful world of living in the city of Xenia, among the Xeno Sapiens. People who protected and loved each other.
“What did you mean then?” he asked, but his voice was wary. As if he suspected—like she did—that things may be all right in their perfect, newlywed life. But then again, they might not be.
“You know,” and her voice held a bit of warning because she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the truth.