Wolf Logic

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Wolf Logic Page 13

by Masha du Toit


  And now she’s gone.

  Thinking of her mother gave her an idea. She could not very well draw this wolf-headed girl into her arms, but maybe she could still offer her comfort.

  “Lizzie,” she said quietly. “Do you want me to tell you a story?”

  The breathing paused and Gia saw the glint of the were’s eyes. It was dark here in the cell. All the light came in through the window and the door and Lizzie sat mostly in the dark. Was that a nod?

  Gia heard Pienaar shift his weight and felt a little self-conscious.

  “Okay, then,” she said. “I’ll tell you a story my mother always told me, when I was too afraid to go to sleep at night.”

  It was hard to see, but she thought that Lizzie had her head tilted towards her now and was watching her again.

  “Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a little girl who lost her shadow.” Gia frowned, calling up the story from her memory. She’d been a little girl herself, the last time her mother had told it to her. “It was just a little shadow, because she was just a little girl. But it was the only shadow she had and she wanted it back.” Gia relaxed a little. The rhythm of the words pulled her along now, and she knew that she wouldn’t falter. “Now, it’s a terrible thing to lose your shadow. Because your shadow is your sleep and if it is lost or stolen, you can lie down and you can close your eyes and you can try as hard as you can, but you can never go to sleep.”

  Lizzie sat unmoving and Gia could no longer see whether her eyes were open or closed.

  “So, she waited ’til her parents were fast asleep. Then she put on her boots and she put on her cloak and she closed the door behind her. Outside it was dark. The full moon lit the sky so she could see everything very well although it was night.” Gia’s eyes wandered. She could see the cage next door through the window. Was there a figure standing there, against the bars? A shaggy silhouette with the pricked ears of a wolf. A point of flame glowed and the scent of cigarette smoke reached her.

  “On the one side was the big city and on the other, the wild, wild wood. Which way should she go? Where would she find her shadow?”

  As she spoke, Gia became aware that Lizzie’s breathing had slowed and her grip on her hand was lighter too. She even gave a little grunt of laughter when the girl in the story fooled the wolf, the “wicked, hungry wolf, who would have liked nothing better than to gnaw on a little girl’s thigh bone for his supper.”

  At last the story was over. Gia became aware that her leg was tingling and she shifted her weight. Lizzie stretched too, letting go Gia’s hand. There was a static crackle and Gia looked up to see that Pienaar had his radio out. He’d been standing there so quietly she’d completely forgotten he was there.

  “Sergeant Kemp,” he said. “Pienaar here. I think we’re ready for the medicine now.”

  -oOo-

  Gia closed the front door carefully behind her. She stood for a moment at the bottom of the stairs. The events of the day had drained her and she felt grey with exhaustion. She could hardly wait to get to her bed, although she dreaded the dreams she knew she’d have.

  The stairs creaked as she climbed them and they sounded loud in the quiet building. Everyone must be asleep by now. But no, the corridor was not entirely dark. A glint of light shone from a nearby door, showing that it was not entirely closed.

  Cadet Lee’s room. Unlike the other older cadets, Lee had a room of her own. Gia guessed it was because Cadet Lee, having graduated from the Children’s Unit, had been at Valkenberg for longer than any of the others. They certainly treated her as if she outranked them. She slowed down as she neared the door, then stopped. What was that? A sound like somebody fighting for breath, the softest sound of distress. Somebody was crying there.

  It was hard to imagine the ever-calm Lee showing any kind of emotion. Gia hesitated. Respect for Lee’s privacy and fear of her displeasure held her back. Then she heard an unmistakable hiss of pain through clenched teeth. She stepped forward, meaning to knock softly, but despite the lightness of her touch the door swung open.

  Lee was sitting on the floor, her hair on end as if she’d been running her hands through it, her face flushed. For a moment they stared at one another, then Gia’s gaze fell on the cadet’s arms and she gasped. One sleeve was rolled up. The entire arm from wrist to elbow was a livid, angry red. The other arm was only partially exposed, as Lee was pulling at that bracelet, showing another length of scalded skin.

  “Oh, no,” said Gia softly. “It’s the silver, isn’t it? It’s burning you.”

  “Cadet,” said Lee, wearily. “What are you doing in my room?” But her voice was devoid of anger. Gia closed the door behind her and went to kneel beside the cadet. “Can I help you?”

  Lee began to protest but Gia was already helping to ease the bracelet off. Another hiss of pain escaped Lee. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” said Gia, hardly knowing that she spoke, intent on getting the bracelet off without touching any more of Lee’s skin. Better to do it quickly, just get it off— She sat back as the bracelet slid free. “There,” she said, then looking at the cadet’s arms, “Ow. That must hurt.”

  Lee gave a weak laugh that was almost a sob. “It does, actually.”

  “Can I bring you something? Um. Aspirin, or something?”

  “No. Doesn’t help.”

  “A wet cloth maybe? Cold water?”

  Lee looked at her, considering. “My towel’s there behind the door. If you could soak it—”

  “Will do.” Gia was on her feet and down the corridor with the towel, moving as fast as she could without making a noise. It was clear Lee didn’t need any more unwanted attention. Back in Lee’s room with the wet towel, she watched as Lee wrapped it first around one arm, then the other, wincing in sympathy. Only then did she notice that Lee was not wearing her gloves.

  Just as well I didn’t touch her skin. The thought that she could have accidentally given Cadet Lee access to her thoughts chilled her. Then she felt ashamed to be thinking of her own fears at a time like this.

  “Ah,” sighed the cadet. “That’s better.” She sat for a while, head bent. “It’s already not so bad. I heal quickly. Look.” She lifted the towel and Gia could see that it was true. The skin still looked inflamed, but it was much paler than it had been, and the rows of blisters that had edged the burn were gone.

  “Is it because of what you did today? With Lizzie?” Gia remembered Saraswati’s bracelets and how they’d only hurt when she’d started her transformation into a swan.

  “That’s right,” said Lee. “The silver only bites me when I’m working.” Another long sigh, deeper now and her voice was a little stronger. “It’s always been like that, but it didn’t used to be so bad. And tonight I had a meeting with the captain, so I had to keep them on ’til late.”

  Gia looked at her in horror. “You’ve been burning like this all day? Couldn’t you just take the bracelets off?”

  “Captain Witbooi would notice.” Lee pressed the damp towel onto her left arm, gritting her teeth. “It’s not that bad, really.”

  “But—” Gia was at a loss. Captain Witbooi would notice. Wasn’t Captain Witbooi the one who’d discovered Lee’s talent, who’d saved her from her locked-in existence? “Then he doesn’t know? The captain? Wait, let me help you with that.” She lifted the towel carefully and turned it over. The side that had been touching Lee’s skin was steaming. “Wow, it’s very hot, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. I think that’s because of the healing happening so fast.” Lee’s voice was still tight with pain. “No, the captain doesn’t know. I don’t want him to know. He’ll just...” For a moment Lee sat there, staring blankly down at her scalded arms. “When I was a little girl,” she said at last, “just when I started coming out of my shell, you know. I was about thirteen or so, the captain used to spend hours with me, helping me get control of things. And he explained it to me then. He said that magic is a terrible thing. Dangerous. Like a weapon. He said that most people can’t be trusted with it, because
most people are weak and selfish. But that if you learn to control yourself and keep your thoughts pure, then it can be a tool used for good.”

  Lee turned her arms over and let Gia position the cool side of the towel again. “That’s why it’s so important, the work we do here. We have to find people with these talents and help them to control what they do. It’s too late to do that when they’re grown up. We have to do it when they’re young. But so far we’ve found only a very few children like that. And the whole programme is under threat now that the doctor is getting more influence with Luxulo Langa. Luxulo likes the doctor’s tech solutions. He’s that kind of guy.”

  “Luxulo wants to close down the Children’s Unit?”

  “He might. We’ll see. At the moment, we’re trying to show him how useful human skills can be. Like me, today, helping with that were experiment.”

  “But—don’t you think Captain Witbooi should know? I mean, about these burns of yours? He can’t expect you to keep on wearing the bracelets—”

  Lee was looking at her again and this time her eyes were cold. “You don’t understand. Don’t you understand?” She was tense with anger now and Gia, bewildered by this sudden change, drew back a little.

  “It’s all my fault.” Lee stared down at her arms again. “It’s proof that the captain is right. If I didn’t have selfish thoughts, if I wasn’t so weak and afraid all the time, this wouldn’t be happening.” Then, more quietly, “I don’t want him to know. I’m the last one, you know, of our group. He sent all the others away when they failed.”

  Gia felt the chill of her words, but she knew that it would do no good to ask these questions. “Sounds to me like you’re asking a bit too much of yourself,” she said instead. “You’re only human, right?”

  Lee’s face was blank again. “Only human. But am I? That’s the whole question.”

  Gia dropped her gaze. There was something unbearable in Lee’s expression. “That towel’s steaming again,” she said. “Do you want me to put some more cold water on it?” She watched as Lee drew her arms free of the towel. “Wow! You’re so much better already. Look at that.”

  The skin was almost normal now, a little flushed as though with sunburn. “Almost there.” Lee flexed her hand, looking at her arm. “So, Captain Witbooi doesn’t know. And I’d quite like it to stay that way.” She stared at Gia. “So what are you doing, Grobbelaar, wandering around so late at night?”

  Gia felt her face flush a little with guilt. Now why would I feel guilty? I’ve not done anything wrong, have I? “Kemp called me down to the wolf cages. Lizzie was upset. They thought I could help calm her down.”

  Lee raised an eyebrow. “Sergeant Kemp to you. And did you? Calm her down?”

  Gia nodded, remembering how calmly Lizzie had sat as Sergeant Kemp slipped the needle into her arm. “Yes,” she said softly. “I did.”

  “Well,” said Lee, pushing the sleeves back down over her arms. “You’ve been having a busy day, haven’t you, cadet. Better get back to your bed before somebody misses you.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said Gia and saw a reluctant smile touch Lee’s lips. She felt suddenly immensely shy. “I won’t tell,” was all she managed.

  “I know,” said Lee. “And cadet—”

  Gia paused at the door, looking back.

  “Thanks.”

  -oOo-

  Nico pushed the door open just enough so that he could see. Billy had made him promise to be quiet and to stay where he was. He’d been unusually serious and Nico sensed that this time, it would be best to obey. But he’d said nothing about peeking, and Nico intended to see what he could.

  “Someone’s coming to visit us,” Billy had said. “And I don’t want him to see you. So stay quiet in there, okay? If you do, I’ll take you out for a swim when he’s gone. Teach you a bit of surfing. How about that?”

  The tension in his voice had been more effective at keeping Nico quiet than the promise. Billy was scared and that frightened Nico. He knew, from listening in on Billy and Spyker’s conversation, that this visitor was somebody called Mr Mandible and that Billy did not trust him. Mr Mandible had something to do with the Belle Gente. That was scary and a little exciting too. Nico had heard about the Belle Gente, although he did not exactly understand who they were. They seemed like something from a fairy story, dangerous and powerful, like the wolf-monster hiding in the wild woods of the stories his mother used to tell him.

  He was very curious to see this Mr Mandible.

  Billy and Spyker agreed that their visitor should not see Nico. After some argument, they’d made Nico hide inside a cupboard. So now he crouched at the door, trying to see their visitor.

  He could hear him already.

  Mr Mandible had a loud, snappy voice, a voice that smiled. But it was a pinching, teasing smile that Nico did not like at all. The man stepped into sight for a moment. There was nothing obviously frightening about him. He wore a leather jacket with a collar that stood up in points. Nico could not see his eyes, because even though he was inside and there wasn’t much light, he wore dark glasses. But other than that, he seemed completely normal. Completely human. So why was Billy afraid of him?

  They were talking, now. Something about a parade and a stage, some event where there was going to be a lot of people. “You’ll make a big bang, they won’t forget you in a hurry,” the man said and laughed. He zipped open his bag. “Take a look. Think you can use a little bit of this?”

  Nico wished he could see what was in the bag. Whatever it was, it had Billy backing away and shaking his head.

  “You know we’re not into that violent stuff, dude. I though I’d explained all that.”

  “Speak for yourself,” said Spyker.

  “We talked about this, Spyker,” said Billy wearily. “We’re not doing anything that will hurt anybody. And that’s flat. Just light and sound, got it? Nothing more.”

  “It’s cool, it’s cool,” said Mr Mandible, zipping up the bag again. “But it seems a pity to waste the opportunity.”

  “Just sound and light,” said Billy, crossing his arms. “That,” he nodded at the bag, “is not our way. We’ll do you a full-on painting and lights wired up, all quiet-like. Ethereal, you know? You want something more than that, you need to find somebody else.”

  “Sure-sure,” said Mr Mandible. “But you’re gonna have to do something a bit bigger if you wanna impress the Belle Gente. This is your chance. Luxulo Langa, the bulldozer-man himself up there on the stage, thousands of people watching, the media, everybody. That speech is going to be broadcast all over the world, man. And then— Whoosh! You’ll send a message they cannot ignore.”

  “It’s not what we usually do,” said Spyker. “ But I think you’ll like Billy’s plan. I mean, it’s basically a word-bomb, right? Big noise, big lights, big message. So that’s no sweat, but we’ll need access to set it up.”

  “Don’t you worry about that,” said Mr Mandible. “We’ve got all that covered.”

  “A political message,” said Billy. “It will have to be a political one, right? ‘Sentient Rights’ or something like that?”

  The man shrugged. “I guess that would work, and that’s what the Belle Gente would like. But that’s up to you guys. You’re the creatives. Not my area.”

  “I’ve got some ideas already,” said Spyker. “I’ve made some sketches. Do you want to see?”

  “Sharp-sharp!” said Mr Mandible and they moved further away to Spyker’s worktable, and Nico could no longer hear what they were saying. He hoped the man would leave soon. It was boring, here in the cupboard. Although, there were ways to keep himself entertained.

  He’d been spending a lot of time by himself lately, although Billy and Spyker never left him completely alone. He’d taken the opportunity to practise his linking. He could now drop into the dreamy state quite easily, although he still had not found a way to talk to the people to whom he was linking. He could see what they saw, feel what they felt, but he still hadn’t found a way to co
mmunicate with them, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn’t always pleasant, either. His father was always working, always worried. He no longer spent so much time on the phone, asking people if they knew where he, Nico, was.

  He’s forgetting me. But Nico knew that was not true. He could feel his father’s nagging worry every moment that he stayed in touch with his mind.

  Mandy was better. She too worried, and she was often sad, but she was much calmer and enjoyed her work more than Karel did—cooking, helping with the sewing. Everything she did was calm and unhurried, and Nico liked to spend hours quietly experiencing her life.

  But Gia was the best.

  He did not always understand the things she saw and heard, and often they frightened him, but they fascinated him too. He did not understand where she was, surrounded by people in uniform and wearing a uniform herself. She was sad at times too and sometimes angry, but at least her feelings were always different, always changing, nothing like Karel’s unrelenting guilt.

  And then, of course, his mother. He’d been afraid that she would fly away at first. He could feel that she wanted to. It was a sweet longing like nothing he had felt before, an urge to spread her wings and follow the other birds on the sky roads towards summer. So far she’d not given in. Sometimes she flew away from the city, off into the mountain where the air was clean and she didn’t have to hide all the time.

  But right now he had another way to keep himself occupied. He’d found it in a box of odds and ends that Billy had shoved under one of the shelves. It contained a treasure: a rusty lock with the key still in it.

  He held the key in his palm now, looking down at it. The caretaker had shown him how to use his mind to touch things.

  The key stirred in his hand, tickling his palm as it vibrated. More focus. It was always like this, at first. Difficult. Heavy. But once he got it— The key lifted, turning, until it floated in front of his eyes. No problem. It was just a matter of thinking in the right way. He flipped it over, end on end, then made it spin slowly around so that he could study its shape, learn the secrets of the lock it was made to fit into.

 

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