by JP Sayle
“Are you okay?” Sawyer asked, his voice sounding a little breathy.
Switching my attention back to him, I went to automatically nod then stopped myself as my temples reminded me, I wasn’t. “I’ve a headache that is pounding harder than a bloody jackhammer inside my skull. You wouldn’t have a couple of paracetamol, would you?”
His mouth pinched, and he got a look of concern in his eyes that made my heart skip a beat. There were days I really felt we’d never get back to where we’d been before. Then there were moments like now, when he looked at me like that and it gave me renewed hope.
“I think I’ve a box somewhere. I don’t tend to take pills. I usually use herbal remedies, some ginger, mint, and a few other things in a tea might be better for you.” He hesitated and nodded towards the shed he called home. “Do you want to try some?”
I wasn’t sure if he was recalling the last time I’d been inside his home and what had happened, but I was. My stomach knotted at how much I’d fucked up by leaving, so I quickly nodded.
He swung towards his home. “Okay…but don’t get too close—”
“I’ve said before, Sawyer, I’d never hurt you,” I jumped in, not moving to follow him.
He swung back around to face me as his hands went to his hips and his small chin jutted out at me. “I wasn’t meaning that.”
He sounded so put upon that I struggled to stop myself from laughing. Aware I’d failed when he rolled his eyes at me, I held up my hands in surrender. “What did you mean then?”
“I’m stinky, and that was before I cycled like a maniac to get back here for our meeting. Which, it seems, you were late for too.” His brows rose in question.
Clearly, I couldn’t stop reminding him of the last time I’d failed to call him, and then what had happened as a result of that. Way to go arsehole.
Instead of saying what I thought of myself, I explained, “But I sent you a text to explain that I was going to be late because I got caught up.” I brushed over the fuck ups of the day, especially when I noticed my headache was lessening just being in Sawyer’s presence.
His gaze shifted to the ground and he started to kick at a stone. “I forgot my phone in my hurry to get to the lawyers office.”
His contrite expression when he looked up from under his eyelashes caused my heart to stumble in my chest. “Then it’s perfect timing for both of us, right?” I gave him a smile and hoped he’d see I meant it.
There was the slightest of hesitation before a smile spread over his face. “I’m not sure you’ll be saying that after being in the tiny confines of my home with my stinky body.” With that, he turned and stalked off towards his home.
“I’d be happy to be anywhere with you,” I muttered under my breath. His feet faltered and for a moment I thought he’d heard me, but when he didn’t turn around, I released the breath I’d held. Unsure if I was disappointed or not that he’d not challenged me, I walked after him.
Inside the cramped room it only took a minute for the stench of sweat, dirt, and something a little more pungent to fill the small space. Sawyer seemed oblivious as he went and heated a pan of water to make his headache remedy.
With the memories still in the front of my mind of the last time I’d been in this tiny room, my gaze travelled to the messy, single bed. The same blanket Sawyer had been wrapped in last time I was here was sat on the end of the unmade bed. I must have been staring for some time because the next thing I knew, Sawyer was pushing a chipped mug of scented, steaming liquid under my nose.
“Here, this should help. Me, on the other hand being all stinky, will probably not help.” He sniffed the air, his nose wrinkling adorably. “I’m going to have a shower. Are you okay waiting for me? It will be decidedly less torturous to your nose if I wash before we sign the paperwork.” He sounded uncertain as he looked up at me, the cup still clutched in his hand.
Instinctively, I reached out and cupped his cheek, my thumb stroking the soft skin. “Angel boy, I’ll wait as long as you want.” The moment the words left my lips, I realised how true they were.
His whole body stiffened. The knuckles of the hand holding the mug turned white. A flash of what appeared to be hope crossed his face before he shielded his eyes by lowering his gaze.
Had I lost my chance with him?
At the very idea, my heart dropped into my boots, quite literally. About to remove my hand from his cheek, his free hand came up and touched it.
Please give me a chance. I held my breath willing him to somehow hear my silent plea.
“You…you still want me to be your Angel boy?” he whispered, sounding a little disbelieving.
“Yes, more than anything. I’m sorry I fucked up. I’ve been trying to give you some space so you could see I’m not normally a dick.” I chuckled at how his face brightened at me calling myself a dick. I wanted him to understand I was serious, whatever it took. What about the clothing he likes?
One step at a time.
As I pushed the question to the back of my mind for now, I took the mug from him. Lifting the cup a little higher, I got a whiff of the ginger and mint he’d mentioned. There were also several fragrances I couldn’t pinpoint. It reminded me of homemade baking smells when my mother baked at Christmas.
“You should drink it, before…” He coughed and his cheeks got bright spots of colour on them. “I…I need some help in the shower…Daddy.”
Oh fuck. Apprehensive expectations about how I’d feel at him using that term of reference between us disappeared. The onslaught of emotions that flooded through me was quickly followed by a wave of desire that left me reeling. All the blood that a second ago had been in my head, fled down my body so fast it left me giddy.
Clutching at the cup, I attempted to swallow past my now dry throat. I didn’t think as I drank the hot liquid down in one big gulp. Suddenly I was the one coughing as the hot liquid scalded the back of my throat, instead of wetting it liked I’d hoped.
As my eyes watered, he stepped to the side and patted at my back. “Well that was silly…Daddy.”
Fuck, there was that word again. Why did it make my heart feel like it was trying to do somersaults in my chest? A wave of heat spread through me while I attempted to stop coughing, making it hard to focus on an answer. Sawyer’s small, warm hand rubbed up and down my jumper and, though it was quite thick to ward off the cold, I could still feel the heat of his hand against my skin, burning me.
“I…you want me to help you shower?” It only added to my mortification when I sounded more like a squealing pig, rather than a sensible grown up.
“If you want to.” This time he didn’t use the term Daddy and, judging by the look of uncertainty he wore, I could see I was somehow fucking things up again.
I placed the cup down on the crowded table next to me and stepped closer to Sawyer. This time, I took hold of both of his cheeks and prayed I wasn’t about to make an even bigger fool of myself. “Daddy would love to help give you a shower.”
His whole face lit up, and any doubts that still lingered that this might be a mistake were smothered by his joy.
He squealed and stood on his tiptoes, offering his lips. The gesture was so sweet I couldn’t resist kissing the tip of his button nose before gently kissing his warm, sweet lips.
“Oh, Daddy,” he breathed against my mouth before stepping back, his face brimming with happiness.
Selfishly, I hoped that he’d never looked at anyone else the way he was looking at me right then. He didn’t give me a second to think about it though, as he tugged me through the only other door in his home, which I’d previously suspected was his bathroom.
As I stepped in behind him, I re-evaluated the word bathroom. This was more like outdoor plumbing but with a roof over it. I eyed the chemical loo and the large bucket that sat under what I assumed he called a shower. It was nothing more than a rigged hose and what appeared to be a small heater the water must pass through to warm it.
“What on earth? Look at that wiring! An
d Jesus, is that an extension socket hanging next to the water pipe?” My voice shook with fear at the thought of Sawyer electrocuting himself with his makeshift shower.
“It’s okay, I got it checked out. I’ve been using this for nearly two years and nothing bad has happened to me.” He shrugged it off, much as a child would when they didn’t fully comprehend the real risk.
Only thing was, I wasn’t quite seeing it the way he was, not with my protective urges roaring to life and painting all sorts of scenarios in my head. Should I put my foot down about this? Would this be what he’d expect from me if I were concerned for his safety? The pounding in my head that had started to ease, resumed with each unanswered question. Stop overthinking and do what feels right.
As I dithered, Sawyer bent to remove his boots. I put my hand on his shoulder. “You can stop right there. That shower is out of bounds until I can be assured it’s safe to use. We’ll go to my house where I know you’ll be okay, and I’ll have enough room to be able to wash you properly.” I kept my voice gentle but ensured there was an authoritative tone, so he knew I wasn’t taking no for an answer.
I braced, thinking I might be in for a fight when he slowly stood up and stared at me. His mouth opened and he got a gleam in his eyes, then his lips closed, and he stepped into me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he buried his face in my chest.
“Okay…Daddy.”
Doing my best not to inhale the overpowering scent of dirt, I held him close. We stood like that for what felt like an eternity with my lungs screaming at me to take a breath. But my need to hold him won out.
When he finally lifted his head, he gave me a thoughtful stare. “Are you going to get someone to check the shower out…or will I have to do it?”
“I’m going to do it. It’s too late today, but I’ll get one of my plumbers and an electrician to check it out tomorrow.” While I spoke, I went through the list of men on the different sites to see which one I’d trust with this job. I eyed the makeshift space again and shuddered. There was no way this was going to be fixed in a day, hell maybe even a week.
“How do you feel about camping out at mine until I’m happy with the setup here?” The question popped out before I could stop it, but once I’d said it, I realised I didn’t want to take it back.
His eyebrows disappeared under his colourful fringe as he eyed me like I’d lost my mind. And maybe I had, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of him being close and getting to spend time with him. “I’ve a spare room that you can stay in, so you’ll have your own space. There is no pressure here. All I’m after is knowing you’re safe.”
He wilted in my arms and dropped his chin so I couldn’t see his expression. What had I said now?
I went through it in my mind. Had he wanted to share a room with me? Or was it something else? No closer to an answer, I brushed my hand through his still sweaty hair and encouraged him to look at me. “Have I said something wrong?”
At the question, his eyes widened. “Can I…bring my box?”
“Box, Angel boy? I’m not sure what you mean. But I’m sure we can take whatever you want to mine.”
His face lost a little of its colour as he stepped back and took hold of my hand, leading me back into the main room. He said nothing as he released his grip and went to the bed. A wary expression crossed his face when he glanced at me briefly before crouching to pull out something from beneath the bed.
The air in my lungs refused to budge when it registered what he meant. The box was about two feet long and the same in depth. It was covered in bright stickers and as he removed the lid, my heart took flight at the array of things that were tucked inside.
His hand hovered over the baby grow he’d worn all those weeks ago, that was tucked in with several other outfits. There were soft toys, dummies, puzzle books, colourful pens, jigsaws, and other toys, all neatly arranged.
This was the reality we’d been heading towards, and even though I’d given it considerable thought, and had spoken through group chat on a couple of the sites on the internet with people who were Littles, I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that flooded me, making it impossible to move. When he finally lifted his head to look at me, the vulnerability I could see cut me off at the knees.
The three steps it took to reach him felt like I’d crossed a desert at high noon. Sweat slid down my back as I got down onto my knees beside him. I took hold of his icy hand and squeezed it gently, praying that I’d get this right. “Do you want to show me what you’ve got inside your box?”
His nod was tentative, but he didn’t hesitate to reach in with his free hand.
One step at a time!
Chapter Four
Sawyer
A groan of pleasure rumbled up my chest as I snuggled deeper into the warm bed, then my eyes popped open as it registered that it wasn’t my lumpy mattress I was lying on. The remnants of sleep fled as the events of the night before came back in a flood. Holy shit, I’m in Boyd’s spare room!
That might not be the room I wanted to be in, but it was the next best thing after last night. Oh boy, oh boy, we’d gone through my little box. I wriggled around, unable to keep still at how he’d not once shown any distaste. He’d let me talk for ages before we’d packed everything back in the box to leave.
And though I was a little pissed he didn’t trust the system I’d rigged up for my shower, it had been quickly overridden by how concerned he was for me. I’d spent a long time after I’d gone to bed trying to recall if any of the other men I’d dated had shown such worry for my safety. There’d been none that I could remember and that just made the moment all the more special.
A smile spread over my face as my hands rubbed over the soft cotton of the duvet and I squinted at the room. The heavy curtains covering the windows only let in the barest of light, making it difficult to make out the room, not that I needed to see it. I’d spent some time last night exploring the room when he’d left me to go and throw together a quick meal for us. Don’t forget bath time.
How could I forget that? Warmth flooded through me as the memory of the evening surfaced.
Boyd led me into the en-suite attached to the room he’d said was mine for as long as I needed it. The bathroom was fully tiled. There was an Aztec patterned border around the top of the walls and other tiles interspersed around the room. The plain tiles were in a soft palette of colours, taken from the larger, pattern bearing tiles. There was no bath, but a large walk in glass shower, a double sink in white, and a toilet. All the fixtures and fittings in the room were brass. Had he upcycled the fittings?
My thoughts were interrupted as Boyd spoke.
“Do you want me to strip you, Angel?” His voice held a hint of apprehension that hadn’t been there as he’d chatted before we’d come into the bathroom.
“Yes please, Daddy,” I didn’t hesitate, wanting him to know that I was happy with his suggestion. Fuck, I was more than happy. The moment of terror I’d had was long gone after I’d called him Daddy to see what he’d do. I’d not been sure it was the right move, but my instincts had taken over. Now, as he moved and started to strip off my smelly clothes, I was over the moon that I’d pushed for his reaction.
“Lift your foot for me?” asked Boyd as he crouched in front of me and unlaced my boots.
Doing as he asked, I tried not to think about how I smelt as he peeled off my clothes.
At the lavish care he was showing me, my body warmed, and blood travelled to the area level with Boyd’s head. I tried not to squirm when he finally tugged my underpants down my legs, revealing exactly how much I was enjoying his gentle touches.
He said nothing as he stood and went to the shower. Opening the door, he reached in and switched on the tap, the air quickly becoming steamy from the force of the spray. This was not going to be the small trickle of water I was used to and suddenly I couldn’t wait to get into the shower.
The commune had a good-sized shower, but the water had been restricted because of th
e number of people living in the building. Showers had always been a quick affair. With the prospect of having my first proper shower that wasn’t about getting clean as quickly as possible, I stepped closer to Boyd, my arousal forgotten.
His gaze moved to me and his eyes crinkled. “You’re looking forward to this, aren’t you?” His voice was full of amusement.
“You bet your arse Daddy. I’m going to wallow in that water and not worry about rushing like I had to at the commune, for fear of getting told off.”
His smile dipped a little.
“It’s alright, I didn’t mind. I didn’t know any better.” I shrugged, trying to show him it didn’t matter.
He stepped out of the way and indicated for me to get in the shower.
I hesitated. He did say he was going to bathe me. Why wasn’t he getting undressed? My teeth raked over my bottom lip as indecision warred with what I wanted. “Aren’t you going to get in with me, Daddy?” I could hear the plea in my voice, my little coming to the fore, wanting what Boyd had promised.
“Are you sure?” His caramel eyes became a deep rich colour as he stared at me, need evident in his tight expression.
“Yes, Daddy.” Only when he started to take off his boots did I step into the shower. Turning to face the room, planning to enjoy the show, the hot water sprayed my back. The heat soaked into my tired muscles and I registered how tense I’d been as the water pelted the tight knots in my shoulders. I groaned in delight and shut my eyes at the decadence.
At a whooshing sound and a blast of air hitting my skin, my eyes opened, and I groaned anew. My body thrummed with arousal at the sight before me. Boyd’s body was a thing of beauty. His taut muscles rippled as he moved closer to me. The water plastered the dark hair to his chest, arms, and legs. His semi aroused cock hung down from a dark patch of hair that was a little unruly and showed he wasn’t bothered with manscaping. Usually I preferred a man to be a little less hairy, but as I stood there, I couldn’t find a thing wrong when it was Boyd that was wearing all that hair over his body.