Zee leaned over his display, touching something. The dots were highlighted now. “Yes. And they’re showing up on sensors, too.”
“Good.” She nodded. “Now what?”
“Now, we head to Balaena. Hopefully, they’ll listen, and we can prepare a defense before the fleet recovers.”
Ellie nodded again, a little numb from the events of the last few days. She stood. “I think I need to lie down.”
Zee looked up at her, concerned. “Okay. Be well.”
“Thanks,” she said, biting her lip, and left.
She walked to her room feeling numb. Her limbs moved awkwardly while her brain refused to think. She felt tired, wrung out.
Before she knew it, she was standing in front of her bed, just staring at the bright red comforter. Her eyes grew heavy as the adrenaline took its toll. She curled up on the bed and yawned. Her eyes drifted closed as she relaxed into the cloud of comfort.
In that moment, she didn’t care about the fleet, the colony, the many lives that hung in the balance. She was too tired, too weary. A bomb could go off in the next room, and she wasn’t sure she would move.
Zee stared after Ellie as she walked away while his chest tightened with emotion. He didn’t want her to walk away. She’d seemed so lost as she’d looked down at him. What was running through that mind of hers? Could he help her? Comfort her?
“Angus?”
“Aye, Zee?”
He stood, already walking to the door. “Send a message out to the colony. Set a course for it.”
“Aye, sir.”
“Good.”
He slipped from the room and followed in Ellie’s wake. The walls blurred around him, his focus bent on one thing, one person. He stopped at her bedroom door, certain she would be behind it.
But even though he wanted to be with her, he couldn’t move forward, couldn’t step inside, couldn’t knock. His body locked up, his mind empty of any useful thoughts. The space on the other side seemed overwhelming, impossible, a hurdle he couldn’t possibly overcome.
Which was stupid. He could certainly comfort her, ask her what was wrong, offer to fix it. Hacht, even offer just to listen. Those were all good, solid plans.
But they didn’t move him. His feet stayed locked in place. His arms stayed plastered to his sides.
I’m afraid.
That was a hard realization for a soldier to make. He put his life on the line all the time, went into dangerous situations knowing he might not make it out. But he was definitely afraid. He was afraid of what Ellie would do, of what she would say. She had the ability to flay him alive with a look. There was no armor in the universe that could combat that.
And he suspected there was nothing he could do to stop her.
Emotion rose up once more and his mind taunted him, reminding him of their earlier fight. Had he found a solution? Hacht, of course, he hadn’t. It was impossible. They would never work, but it didn’t stop him from wanting her, from wanting to try.
If only things were different…
He shook his head, angry at himself. “They’re not different,” he grumbled under his breath. “We’re two people from different species, difference cultures, and different lives. It’s doomed.”
With those dark thoughts roiling around in his mind, he opened the door, peeking in to check his welcome. Ellie lay curled on the bed, hugging a pillow.
He closed the door with a click, crossing the room and sinking onto the opposite side, the soft bedding silky on his palms. “Ellie?” he said as he crawled to her.
“Ugh,” she grunted, but didn’t pull away.
He smiled, brushing the back of his knuckles over her shoulder. “What can I do?”
She just shook her head.
He frowned. She didn’t want to talk. Zee shifted in the bed, coming up behind her and wrapping an arm around her middle, holding her tight. The tip of his tail played against the material of her pant leg, just an absent caress as she pressed closer to him with a sigh.
Ellie fell asleep in Zee’s arms, his warmth and hypnotic touches better than a sleeping pill. She rubbed her eyes, rolling onto her back, but didn’t really want to wake up. Why had she woken up, anyway?
“Ellie?” a thick Scottish brogue said.
“What do you want, Angus?” she grumbled.
“We are approaching the planet Balaena.”
She jerked up, her eyes flying open. “What?” She couldn’t have possibly slept that long, could she?
“I said, ‘We are approaching the planet Balaena.’ ”
She glared at the ceiling. “I heard you the first time, smartass.”
“My arse is indeed smart.”
Her hands twitched, wanting to strangle the bastard. Pity he had no physical form. “Where’s Zee?” she asked as a distraction.
“In the cockpit, attempting to contact the colony’s government.”
Ellie nodded, slipping off the bed and dragging herself across the floor. She just wanted to go back to sleep. She wasn’t built for this shit. The adrenaline had hit her like a ton of bricks, and she’d been terrified out of her mind while they were on that suicide run to disable the fleet. What had she been thinking when she’d offered to help?
She shook her head, disgusted with herself as she tried to shake the sleep from her brain.
Hell, she’d practically insisted on helping.
But then, could she have really done anything else? Her conscience churned inside her, threatening a revolt. “I’m so stupid,” she said under her breath as she opened the door, shaking her head. “I’m a masochist. I must be.”
“Ellie, is that you?” Zee called from the cockpit.
Great, she’d been caught talking to herself. “Yup, it’s me.” She jogged up the hall, stopping in the doorway, and smiled as Zee turned in his seat to greet her.
“Hope you slept well.”
“Well enough.” She dropped into the seat beside him. On screen, a large planet loomed, taking up most of the view. Thick, white clouds hid the surface, leaving the planet still a mystery to her. “What’s it like?”
“What?” Zee looked at her, confused.
She pointed at the planet. “Balaena, the colony. What was it named again?”
“Ezzaruh.”
“Right.” She nodded. “Ezzaruh. What’s it like?”
“I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been there before. But as an Ateles colony, you can guarantee it’ll be dimmer than the last planet we were on.”
“Why is that?”
He tapped a spot under his eye.
“Right. Light sensitivity.”
He nodded. “As a colony, it’s probably fairly fertile as well.”
“Why is that?”
He looked at her quizzically. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
She shrugged. “Aren’t there other reasons to form colonies?”
“Such as?”
“I don’t know. Overpopulation, natural resources.”
He frowned. “Wouldn’t a fertile world have natural resources?”
She scoffed, thinking of Earth. “Some of the most valuable resources are often in some of the most barren landscapes.”
“I find that hard to believe. Or perhaps your ideas of value are backward.”
“Backward?!” Ellie bristled, forgetting that she often thought the same thing.
His eyes rounded, the barest hint of white showing at the edges as he realized his mistake. “Ellie, I’m sorry.”
She held up a hand, trying to calm down. He was right, of course. Humans did have their priorities backwards. Living with her father’s people for any length of time told her that.
But she’d also interacted with many alien races that agreed with humans on the matter. Plenty of times, she’d landed on moons or planets stripped raw by overzealous individuals and companies. Plenty of times, she’d watched as they loaded up “valuables” for her to transport. How many times had she watched them load up a few crates of goods while a giant crater, devoid of
all life, loomed in the background?
She bit her lip and shook her head. “Sorry.”
“No, Ellie. I went too far. I judged when I shouldn’t have. I’ve met enough species, enough cultures, to know not to judge without also understanding them first.”
The side of her lip quirked up. “You don’t know me yet?” she asked playfully.
He leaned forward. “Not anywhere near well enough.”
She laughed.
“Ahem,” Angus said, clearing his throat.
Ellie sighed. “Yes, Angus?”
“I’m receiving a communications request from the planet. I assume you wish to answer.”
She looked at Zee, who sat up taller, turning away from her.
“Yes, Angus. Please put them through.”
“This is Ezzaruh Planetary Security. Please state your identity and business.”
“No visual?” Zee whispered at Ellie.
She shook her head, and he nodded.
Zee switched to his native tongue, the change from Uso jarring. Words spilled out at two or three times their normal speed, a harsh language that rolled off his tongue like spitting up hairballs.
The security person responded in the same language, his tone much less hostile.
The conversation went on for some time while Ellie’s gaze bounced between Zee and the speaker. What were they saying?
Ellie squirmed in her seat, but didn’t know what else to do. She was useless right now. What were they talking about? She half expected them to be shooting the breeze with how fluidly the words carried back and forth between them.
Then the other man’s tone changed, and Zee turned to her as the comm ended. “He says we’re clear to land.”
“What else did he say?”
Zee frowned.
“Zee?” she asked, her voice trembling.
He shook his head, focusing on where they were going.
What wasn’t he telling her?
Chapter Thirty
Ellie held her breath as they approached the planet. They curved around its surface, Angus calculating the best approach vectors for landing at the coordinates the security officer had given Zee.
She looked over at him, but he was tense, sitting tall in his seat. Despite having nothing to do, he didn’t look at her. Her gut churned. What did that mean? Why wouldn’t he look at her?
Turning back to the viewscreen, she tried to shore up her courage.
Get your shit together, Ellie.
She gripped the armrests hard as her ship broke into the fluffy, white clouds. Her heart rate ratcheted up a notch as the uniform white engulfed them. Visibility dropped to zero. She didn’t like it. A fine sheen of sweat formed on her brow.
There’s no need to worry. Angus has this.
Her knuckles turned white, but moments later, they exited the cloud cover, exposing the world beneath. It was breathtaking. Blue and green stretched out as far as the eye could see.
This is what Earth should look like.
It made her sad. Every time she approached Earth in the daytime, she was reminded of how self-destructive humanity was. At night, she could kid herself, the twinkling lights of civilization dazzling her with their brilliance. But in the light of day, the darkness couldn’t mask their flaws.
The oceans were cleaner than they’d been in decades, but conservation efforts could barely keep up with human waste. She would often spot islands on approach and only later realize they were trash. And despite being their home, the land didn’t fare much better.
In the US where she once lived, natural places were practically a thing of the past. Sure, there were national parks, but they were closed to the public to protect them. Too many vehicles, too many feet, too many people trying to make their mark or prove their own stupidity had lost that privilege for everyone.
The shock between her father’s planet and Earth always tore at her, reminding her of what Earth could have been. Balaena did as well. They flew around the planet as the ship slowed to landing speed, but the only sign of civilization she spotted was a single city.
They slowed, the reverse thrusters forcing her body into her restraints as the city loomed on the horizon. It wasn’t a large city, not like the monstrosities of steel and glass present on Earth. Nor did it blend into the wilderness like on her father’s world, Ara. Instead, using mostly natural materials, it declared its presence while simultaneously paying homage to the very nature that provided for it.
Continuing to slow, more detail came into focus. She couldn’t see roads or vehicles yet, but the buildings captured her interest. She didn’t see any hard edges. In spite of the harness fighting against her, she leaned forward in her seat, curiosity getting the better of her. What did they use for materials? How did they form the walls? Did the rooms have similar shapes?
She turned to Zee for answers, but he stared resolutely forward, his face set in harsh lines that made her feel completely alone…
Zee tried to remind himself that he had a mission to complete.
I’m a soldier.
As a soldier, he needed to debrief with his commanding officer. He needed to hand over their intelligence. He needed to keep his mind on the task at hand. As the ship shuddered to a stop, the engines whining as they cycled down, he pulled himself back together again.
This is over.
He thought the words, recited them to himself, but couldn’t make himself believe. He didn’t want it to be over between him and Ellie, but they had nothing left holding them together, did they? Once they ensured Ezzaruh would be safe, they had no reason to ever interact again.
The thought was intolerable, but he saw no way around it.
Hacht, she could leave this moment. She had no reason to even stay to see Ezzaruh safe. His insides twisted, and he ground his teeth together.
You’re a soldier.
The thought didn’t have the impact he’d hoped, but he removed his harness and stood, moving through the ship at speed. It took all his willpower, but he didn’t check to see if Ellie followed. He couldn’t bear it if she didn’t.
The walls closed in around him, confining metal making his steps more hurried as he approached the door. The door opened without command, exposing the lush landscape of Balaena. Angus had parked the ship on the only brown space in sight, a landing pad of packed earth with scorch marks from previous landings and takeoffs.
A squad of men in uniform waited at the edge of the space, weapons at the ready. Zee descended the ramp, and the weapons gradually lowered, as if they were still unsure whether to trust him. He saluted, and they snapped to attention, returning the salute.
They advanced as one, a formidable sea of might. As they approached, he identified the uniform. Planetary Security Forces. So, not military.
“Aktat Zee,” he said, saluting once more as one stepped out in front, meeting him head on.
His uniform didn’t distinguish him from his compatriots, but how he held himself did. He stood with an air of command, however, he didn’t carry a single scar. “Katun Efla. What brings you to Ezzaruh, Aktat Zee?”
As one, the entire group came to attention once more, raising their rifles, this time above his head.
“Stop. Stand down,” he yelled in his native tongue, knowing instantly what had put them on edge.
Efla looked to him, wary to give the command.
Zee glared, thumping his body armor, which declared him as Ateles Special Forces. “She is not a threat,” he growled, his claws extending without conscious thought.
Efla stared him in the eye, not moving. Zee didn’t break eye contact, searching for a tell, searching for a weakness.
His opponent raised a hand, telling his men to stand down. Weapons lowered. Behind him, Ellie said, “Holy shit.”
He turned, watching her as she crept down the ramp. Her gaze slowly scanned the crowd before them as if she planned to dash back onto the ship at the first sign of a threat.
“Ellie?” he said.
She jerked her hea
d in his direction. “Hm? Oh, right.” She dug in a pocket, her hand fisting over something. “Here,” she said, reaching out with her right arm. “The data we collected. I downloaded it from Angus.” She tipped her hand over, exposing a small black device. “You guys can read this, right?”
“It will be fine,” Zee said, accepting the data from her palm. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “No problem.” Her gaze returned to the men looming behind him.
Zee turned back to Efla. “I need a secure comm to debrief my superior on my mission status.”
“Of course,” Efla said. “This way.”
Ellie wished she’d brought a weapon. She had them on board. It paid to be prepared, but she hadn’t thought to grab one when exiting. She hadn’t thought she would need one, but the welcome she’d received left much to be desired.
Of course, maybe if she’d exited the ship carrying a weapon, they would have opened fire. Their trigger fingers had seemed awfully twitchy to her.
They talked back and forth in their native tongue, making Ellie really wish she knew the language. She and Zee communicated well enough in Usan, but she knew about as much of his language as he did of hers. Now, she was definitely feeling her lack.
What are they saying?
Zee started moving toward the settlement as he continued to talk to the man in charge, a big fierce Ateles male with almost no gray marks on his exposed skin. She wondered if that was normal. She liked Zee’s gray spots, often tracing them with her fingers as they relaxed together.
Zee and the fierce one stepped into the lead while the rest surrounded her, their weapons ominously close. She half expected them to point them at her again.
Don’t think about it.
So, instead, she focused on the colony. Beyond the brown field, green trees that reminded her of home stretched out into the distance. Her ship’s surface gleamed in her periphery as they approached the settlement, a series of buildings that blended in with the natural environment. The colonists had chosen browns and greens as their colors when painting. Or maybe the building materials just came that way.
Shifting Cargo (A Shift in Space Book 1) Page 17