“What did you mean by, ‘I don’t know why I was supposed to find this?’ You were talking about that deck of cards from under the bed. Where did all that come from?”
“The lady told me.”
“What lady? Was this in 2047?”
“Yes. No. What I mean is…Gosh, I actually do sound crazy.”
“Explain it to me. I promise I will listen, and I may even understand.”
“I met this woman in 2047. She said, ‘Don’t eat the potatoes. They sent me back in time to the 60s.’ It was in jail. I met her in jail.”
“Okay.”
“She looked like a sixties hippie, too. It was believable. And there was no way she could be eighty years old! She seemed to know things about me. About my baby boy, my fear that he wasn’t meant to be. They called her the potato woman, but her name is Ellie. Was Ellie. You know what I mean! She also knew the reason I was there in 2047.”
“What reason? I thought you just needed to get some air and ended up accidentally pushing the boost in the Envo.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. Not on purpose. Try to understand what this has been like for me.”
Her face softened. “What I mean is, everything happens for a purpose. I wasn’t just there being selfish and on a getaway. I needed to be there. Fate guided me there. Fate also made sure that I saw him there. She told me only I knew what ‘he’ was capable of. Only I would be able to stop him. And I did. I knew she was talking about Mahoney. She wouldn’t admit it, but I didn’t need her to tell me. And then, what do you know, he shows up outside of the Mood Sim Center, parked in a no parking zone, going in his trunk and coming out with that huge weapon. I stopped it. It didn’t happen, because I was there. That woman knew. That’s why when I saw her last night, I thought--”
“Wait, you saw her last night? Where?”
“At the grocery store, standing outside, begging for money or handouts. I saw her the day before, too. Only, she was younger, different, and cleaner. She spoke to me as if she knew me that first day. But then yesterday, she was just a homeless woman who laughed at my requests for information from her.”
“Tabitha, you can’t be talking to strange women like that.” He gave her a look of concern.
“Milt, stop it. I’m a big girl. Remember? She called out to me the first day. The first day at the grocery buying formula, I mean. Looking back, it was a rough day. Then some other rude woman got mad at me, thinking I had cut in front of her in line. I felt like a child. It was almost as if a fight would break out in the store. Ellie was part of it, though. It seemed like she was heckling me, but then she says, ‘Ah, she’s just come back from a long trip,’ like she understood and was ready to give me a free pass. But the second day; that was odd.”
“The second day was odd…and nothing else was?”
“I’m not going to talk to you anymore if you’re planning to act like that to me.”
“I’m sorry. Please, go ahead. I’m just glad you’re finally telling me these things. Really.”
“She pretended not to know me, that she only wanted money from me. Treated me like I was the crazy one. And she said, ‘Don’t look under the bed.’ Well, I took that to mean I should look under the bed. What should I find but this picture of myself and Jared when we were kids. The very same picture I saw when I researched him in 2047.”
“Do you think you might be reading too much into it? Maybe it’s just a coincidence.”
“Milt, just, never mind.”
“Well, admit it. It could be coincidence.”
“Don’t talk to me anymore.”
Milt said no more. It was too late for damage control.
It ended up being another of those nights when she slept with her back to him. Milt had gone and said the wrong thing again.
Chapter 18
Coming Up to the Light
“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.” Emily Dickinson
New Year’s Eve turned out to be an uneventful night, though they watched the revelers from their living room sofa. Prince’s “1999” was played on almost every channel. With just a few glasses of wine, Tabitha fell asleep before midnight. Milt gave her a soft kiss when it arrived.
She acted like she had a massive hangover the next day, though. This didn’t surprise Milt. There were many days lately that she seemed that way even without drinking, as she wasn’t much of a drinker overall. He chalked it up to new mother’s fatigue and the plague of emotions which seemed to have her up and down since Peter was born. Not to mention all she had been through in 2047 and then with her brother’s recent disappearance. He let her sleep much of the day away while he tended to Peter and made some important phone calls. Waking up around dinner time didn’t seem like such a strange thing for her to do anymore, and Milt was just more accepting of it, since he wasn’t quite sure how to fight it. Sometimes he wondered if he should say something. And if so, what he should say. A headstrong woman like Tabitha could easily get offended. He felt like he was skating on thin ice lately. He couldn’t escape to work every evening; he actually wanted to be around his son and to feel like a family.
A call came from Jared one evening. “Tab, I’m sorry. I’ve been gone a while. Far gone.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in Ohio right now. Hitched a ride with some friends. You should talk to Calais on the phone sometime. Man, that girl can talk up a storm.” He spoke in a voice much clearer than that of their last conversation.
“I know, Jared. I’ve talked to her. We’re going to see her on her birthday. What about you?”
She heard a muffled sound as if he were talking to someone in the background. Was that a woman’s voice?
“I don’t know. That’s coming up pretty soon, and I may not be back yet.”
“What are you doing, Jared? WHY? Why are you doing this?”
“Tab, I was just looking for ways to make a living, that’s all. I hooked up with some money makers, but it kind of went south, but that’s okay, I’m on the upswing now. I just, can’t get back home yet.”
“Have you talked to Louise?”
“Yes, yes I did. I miss her.”
“Then go home. Come home. Do what you need to do.”
“It’s just not time yet.”
“Jared, what do you need from me?” She feared the answer.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m okay.”
“Okay. Good. You know what, I can’t stop you from wrecking yourself. I wish I could. Yes, I am glad you called me. I thank you for that. It hurts like hell when you run off and nobody knows where you are. Please, please, come back and get straightened out.”
“I will, Tabitha. Real soon. I love you, sis. Goodbye.”
“Wait…”
He was off the phone way too soon. But there really was nothing more to say now, was there? She kind of wished she’d expressed how good it was to hear from him. Hopefully, he didn’t only catch guilt from her voice. But was that true, that this little call, this little check-in, was better than nothing at all? She wasn’t sure. At least he wasn’t asking for money or a bail-out. No, he never did that. Tabitha and Milt had discussed what their boundaries were with Jared, and paying for one rehab was pretty much it. Emotional support was about all Tabitha could do now, that or aid to Jared’s common law wife and his child. Sometimes she wanted to do so much more.
The thoughts and emotions caused a raging storm in Tabitha’s head. A pounding started shortly after, and she excused herself early to bed. All she told Milt was that Jared had called and he wasn’t back home yet. Milt seemed to understand the weight of this news. She had a few more days of wallowing and taking to bed between changing diapers and feeding Peter.
#
“Milt, I want to talk to someone,” Tabitha announced at dinner one night. “These thoughts in my head are bothering me. I’d really like to feel normal again. I also decided not to go back t
o work officially for 3 or 4 weeks. I don’t feel like I can right now. I’m going to do maybe a day a week and some calls from home now and then, very limited. I’ve got to get a grip on everything, and Peter, and--I just can’t get these images out of my mind.”
“What images?” Just as a flood of relief came over him, so did that old spell of worry.
“Salamanca, with the elfin ears. Salamanca is related to me. Mahoney and his Stein Blaster. The potato woman. Jail. Memory downloads. Did I tell you they did one on me? Oh, and Mars! I didn’t tell you about that, but they had talking, moving billboards about the mission to Mars. And the captain was the same as the captain from my dream.”
“Wait, they gave you a memory download? How?”
“With electrodes hooked up to my head, and they had a screen where they saw images that I was describing, or maybe they saw what I was seeing in my mind. They only saw an outline of Mahoney and--would you believe this: the Steinblaster! But they didn’t find out where I’m from. It’s all okay; I blocked that. You’d be proud of me.”
“Okay.” Milt was used to her mysterious, almost prophetic dreams, but the thought of someone giving his wife a memory download was just disturbing. “So, how can you be sure you blocked out everything you needed to? Could there be any side effects to this memory download? Wait, you’re related to the girl with the elfin ears?” He held up a hand to his head. It was too much information coming to him at once.
Tabitha chuckled through her words. “Her ears were a body modification. Same as her skin, but she did that with pills. It’s some anarchistic or artistic fad. But, yes. She let me sit by her at the coffee shop, which, by the way, is much the same as it was when you and I went to 2047. Anyway, we talked like old friends. She lives with her grandmother, who is from New Orleans. Whose name is Louise. Her grandfather’s name is Jared. I’m telling you, it’s them! I saw a picture on their wall!” Her voice raised in excitement.
“Well, you could be right. Really, though, about this memory download. Did they warn you of side effects? Did you consent to this?”
“Yes, Milt. I consented so they would believe what I was saying about Mahoney. Then, my blood pressure went all haywire and they had to stop.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. We need to take you to the doctor.”
“My appointment is next week. I’m fine. All I had to do was think about seeing George Mahoney and, well, childbirth. The memory’s not so old yet.”
“Okay.” Milt nodded. “So, what will you tell the counselor about your little journey? You know, I’m not telling you what to do, I just have a little concern. And you really shouldn’t go into people’s homes in a strange time and place. By the way, why were you in Salamanca’s home?”
She narrowed her eyes at him, then touched her hand to her forehead. “I’ll explain that later. Hey, I know I shouldn’t have gone, because look, I can’t even talk about it, and it’s scratching to come out! I don’t know though. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing, and they will think I’m stark raving mad.”
“Well, I think something was bothering you when you left. Right?”
“Yes.”
“A lot of that can be attributed to chemical changes. Hormonal changes are monumental with pregnancy and childbirth. It’s natural for your memory and your mood to feel affected when you have so much added to your plate.”
“Geez, Milt. What are you saying?”
“Really, it’s a scientific fact. You could talk about that, the hormonal and chemical changes. Are these things still bothering you?”
“Yeah, I get the same emotions sometimes, feeling kind of down and low on energy, but now I also get to feeling like a superhero. Going from weary new mother to the woman who knocked down Mahoney.”
“Well, you also helped Misha and her children. That was very heroic.”
“Yes, but one thing is not any more real than the other. You seem to think it’s more important that I helped Misha. That bothers me. It’s ALL real to me. It ALL happened to me. Between you and me, we both know that.”
Milt nodded in agreement. “Yes, but, you have to treat it like a dream. It sort of was.”
Tabitha raised her eyebrows incredulously.
“Yes, it seemed very real, but everything you saw is subject to change. Of course, some things are already set in motion and just need completion, such as Jared’s family tree, his granddaughter, his turn around.”
“What if I do something to undo that?”
“Honey, I think you, or we, are doing everything to steer him in the right direction. All you can know about what you saw in the future is that some of those things are very likely to happen based on where we are today. I really am thankful you didn’t go to the past.”
“Me too. The future seemed safer,” Tabitha continued. “It’s all becoming a story in my mind. A really good story that I’d love to tell Peter one day.”
“But you can’t tell it all.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t mention the time travel part. Instead of the Envo, the vehicle will be my imagination. How about that?”
He gave a partial smile. “So, do you want me to ask around about counselors?”
“No, I’ve already made calls, and I’ve decided on someone I would prefer to see.”
This surprised Milt. It seemed she’d actually been working on this when he was at work. “Would you like me to go with you?” he asked.
“Yes. That was part of my decision. They are willing to speak with me alone or to see us as a couple.”
“Good choice, then, Tabitha. Thank you for including me. When is the first visit?”
“Two days from now. I’m going to the first one alone. Because I know it starts with me. And I’ve also set another appointment for next week. That’s the one I’d like you to be at.”
“Fine. I will do that.” He reached out and grabbed her hand. “I’m proud of you,” he said.
“For making an appointment?” she asked incredulously.
“Well, not just that. I’m amazed by what happened with you in 2047, but you have amazed me even since. And on top of that, you’re still a wonderful mother who doesn’t look a day over twenty.”
“I think you’re laying it on thick. What’s up your sleeve?” she asked.
“Nothing. I just think you’re wonderful.” He kissed her hand, and for a moment, she melted. It seemed like, this time, she actually believed him. Peter broke the silence when he started crying just moments later.
Tabitha rushed back to the nursery to check on him. Milt took the notepad on which he had scribbled notes from his earlier meeting with Jack Fontaine. On it was scrawled: Mahoney-symposium-March28th-Is that when we meet? Next to it: Percival Stein to attend. Plans were coming to fruition in his mind.
Quietly, he tore up the note and placed it in the trash can underneath an emptied egg carton. He couldn’t broach this subject with her right now. He decided ‘talking to someone’ was the best idea for them right now, and they certainly needed help sorting out the different experiences parenthood brought them, but this little conflict could never enter into those conversations with another person. So many secrets, but there needed to be no more secrets between the two of them. How he would avoid this with his search for Mahoney and Stein was not something he’d yet figured out.
Chapter 19
Uncharacteristic
The next morning before daylight, Milt left a note on the kitchen table for Tabitha: Sorry honey, I couldn’t avoid going in, and I have to see Jack Fontaine at some point today. I’ll be back early- Love you. Milt
They hadn’t planned anything for the day; it was just a buffer when most businesses were closed save for retail and restaurants, allowing the world to sober up and/or rest from New Year’s festivities. It being January 2nd, Milt had said he might go in to work at some point. Not wanting to worry her, he hadn’t mentioned Jack, but felt it disingenuous not to mention it in the note. He couldn’t say much more,
for a paper trail of his goings on could lead to trouble. Having re-scheduled the interview for a week from today, Milt felt anxious to survey the area, and it might even help him decide on his planned outcome for the interview. If he had any power over it, that is.
Milt found the roads relatively clear. There was light, patchy snow on the ground. He prayed the forecast would ring true and not present much more snow on this day. He was relieved that Jack could meet him at such short notice, especially for a flight to Massachusetts. It was an early flight, so they could get back home that afternoon or evening. Even better, Jack had conjured up an 18-year-old “nephew” named Malachi who would fly with them and play the part of a college student wanting to show his dad and visiting uncle the MIT campus where he attends classes. Surely this was not unheard of, even on January 2nd. Perhaps Malachi should be nineteen, Milt thought. It was all fiction; he didn’t truly know Malachi’s age, but he figured it was at least eighteen for Jack to be able hire him for such a task. Then again, he didn’t ask the particulars. Jack had hinted at Malachi’s acting skills. If Jack considered him up to the task, then so did Milt.
At any rate, there would not be many people there. If they “bumped into” anyone, they had a likely story. Milt had checked and found there were no official tours taking place over the holidays. Jack had prepared a student I.D. for Malachi just in case someone questioned them. Milt could at least get a visual map of the campus grounds. Later, Jack said he could provide him with a print map or blueprints. How was not Milt’s concern. Desperate times require desperate measures. No matter what his end game, Milt felt it best to know where Mahoney’s lab was located. Perhaps the mad scientist might even be there today. Of course, he didn’t plan to walk up and converse with Mahoney. It would be great to get a glance on the sly. Jack was informed to bring his zoom lens camera, just in case. To know Mahoney’s physical appearance at this point in time could help Tabitha identify a semblance and maybe they together could place a time origin for the man who time-traveled to 2047 just to try out his new weapon. He longed to be able to work with her on these ventures, to include her on his thoughts and plans. He terribly missed the times when they were travel partners. Truly, even when this venture kept him out late, he constantly thought about her, of their life together, and keeping her, and now his newborn son, safe.
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