“Nothing.”
I snorted. “I’m calling bullshit. You’ve been distant all day. Too quiet.”
“I’m always quiet.”
“Then extra quiet. Brooding quiet. The kind of quiet that makes people want to run away screaming. It’s your scary quiet.”
He snorted, trying to smile. “I didn’t realize I had different styles of quiet.”
I chuckled, leaning back. “Oh yeah. You have the silly ‘fucking ecstatic’ quiet when you have a good day, where you don’t stop grinning. The ‘fuck off’ quiet on bad days when your eyes narrow anytime someone tries to get you to talk and you only want to be left alone. The ‘in deep shit quiet’ when you refuse to look at anything and your eyes gloss over because you can’t stop thinking about what landed you in trouble. Should I go on?”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time. Long enough for my smile to slip away. “And this quiet?” he asked. “What does it say?”
I looked him over slowly, knowing he was being absolutely serious with his question. “It’s a ‘drowning and don’t know how to pull myself up’ quiet. The kind that can be devastating if you don’t reach out for help. What’s going on?”
He had met my eyes and with the saddest expression ever said, “My heart aches. I don’t know how to stop it, but it aches.”
I could only agree with him because I felt the same. And I knew the other two did too.
I compared that boy to the man before me. So much time had passed since then. Did his eyebrows furrow when he was ‘confused about an outcome’ quiet? Did his jaw tense when he was ‘need to punch someone in the face’ quiet?
The lines on his face said it was still like that. They were deeper now, adding character. There were wrinkles next to his eyes to show that we were no longer in our twenties. Age was a huge factor for a human. I was able to see how it changed them. For me, and for fae, it wasn’t an issue.
We didn’t age. Immortality was stretched out before me, but it was a sad, lonely existence. Eventually, Waylon’s black hair would gray, his face sagging, the world beating down on his weary body. And I’d remain the same, stuck in Faerie.
Those thoughts led to panic that smashed into me. I fell back on my ass, trying to breathe as I stared at Waylon’s sleeping form. There’d be a point where they’d be gone, buried, bodies decomposing. My lungs froze as my heart twisted, already mourning what was to come.
My breathing sharpened, coming too fast. I tried deep breaths, but it hurt so damn much. A life without the guys? I didn’t want it. There was a weird kind of reassurance while I was in Faerie, knowing the guys were alive and safe. But there would be a day when that wasn’t the case anymore.
It’d kill me. It’d destroy me in a way that Faerie had never been able to accomplish.
I didn’t want that.
“Josie?” Waylon’s voice was foggy until he swore and sat up. His touch was comforting as he rested his hand on my shoulder. The first time he was touching me. And it was only because I was having a panic attack.
My breaths came out as a wheeze.
What did he do to you? Berry’s voice was ice cold. His blue eyes glowed in the darkness, his hulking black shape concealed to Waylon as he blended in.
“No,” I forced out, shaking my head furiously, not wanting Berry to hurt him. “No, it’s not that.”
Waylon followed my gaze and stiffened realizing there was a threat looming over his exposed back.
“I’m okay,” I said. It would have been more believable if I could breathe and the words didn’t sound like I was choking on them. “I only need a moment.”
“Jo, slow your breathing,” Waylon said, his voice painfully soft. “You’ll pass out.”
“Fae don’t pass out.”
“You’re about to prove that as false. Take in slow, deep breaths, let your lungs expand.”
My lungs ached as I did what he said. Eventually, it became easier and I calmed down. I wiped at my face. “That sucked,” I mumbled, barely able to swallow my apology.
“How so?” Waylon asked.
“You shouldn’t have seen that. I shouldn’t have woken you up.”
The silence was familiar, it was Waylon’s ‘thinking of a response’ quiet. At least that hadn’t changed. “I would have been pissed if you had a panic attack and I didn’t wake up.”
That drew a smile from me. He was never one to stay on the sidelines, even if his arch-nemesis was suffering. I loved that about him.
Waylon climbed to his feet and went over to the kitchen, turning on lights as he went. I blinked against the sudden brightness.
“Here.” He was back in front of me, holding a water bottle.
I grabbed it with a nod and took a drink, the cold water soothing against my throat. Berry joined us, settling back down into his more dog-like form, though he refused to look away from Waylon.
“What happened?” Waylon asked.
“Reality check,” I answered.
He helped me to my feet and then moved me to the couch, gentle with me. That made my heart ache for him all the more. He had always been the gentlest of the three. It was nice to see that hadn’t changed.
“What kind of reality?” he asked.
I swallowed, not sure if it was something I wanted to talk about. While I thought about it and it hit me hard enough to literally knock me on my ass, I didn’t want to make it even more real by saying it out loud. My throat tried to close just thinking about it again.
Waylon picked up on it. “You don’t need to tell me. When you’re ready.”
“If I’m ever ready,” I whispered.
“You will be. You need time to think it through first, whatever it is.”
I looked down at my lap. I was in sleep shorts ending high up on my thighs. “Remember when we went to the zoo for one of our dates?”
Waylon’s pause made me think that maybe he forgot about it. “And you ate too much and got sick off the caramel popcorn.”
I chuckled. “Yeah.” My smile dropped away. “And we saw that tiger, that old one. She could barely move she was so old. Remember our conversation.”
Tears pressed against my eyes and I fought to keep them at bay. Waylon’s eyes widened. “She was lonely, but I promised when we were old, we’d still be together. That we’d go through it together.” He blinked a few times and glanced away. His hand flexed at his side. “Ten years and we’re in our mid-thirties.” He took me in slowly, my face, my body, all of me. “Yet, you look exactly the same as the day you disappeared.”
“Fae are eternal. Death only happens through murder, and even that can be difficult.”
“You won’t age.”
I shook my head, the sorrow settling deep in me.
“And we will.”
“Yeah.” My response was more of a gasp. I cleared my throat and looked up at the ceiling.
Waylon’s voice was thick with emotions as he asked, “Why? Why did you go? Why did you leave us?”
My tears fell. I couldn’t hold them in anymore. “Leaving you guys was never in my plans. Ever.” I sniffed, trying to clear my senses. “Faerie was never in my plans, never in a million years. Not even with the knowledge I had at the time, and definitely not with what I know now. I never planned to go to Faerie.”
“But you did.”
I shook my head. “And if I could change it, I would. I’d have fought to stay here.”
Waylon’s expression sharpened as he stepped closer, both his hands clenching at his side. “What do you mean?”
My mouth clicked shut as I realized I’d said too much. They didn’t need to know, and I didn’t want them to. It was best if they believed I had left purposely. Waylon looked like he was going to press for more details when the screen of his phone lit up.
The room was still dim enough that it drew both our attention. I glanced down, noting the name across the screen.
Sofia.
In the background, I could make out two people together in a hug. No doubt Waylon
and another pretty woman. Before I had a chance to make out all the details, Waylon swiped at his phone and shoved it into his pocket.
Sofia.
Who was she? Especially to him? She had to be someone important if she was contacting him so late at night. Was she the woman in the picture? A million questions came to mind and they were all on my face when I looked at Waylon.
He grimaced.
“Girlfriend?” I asked in a soft tone.
He gave me one jerk of his head. It was enough to shatter my heart. I bit my lip, holding back a cry. Waylon wasn’t mine. He didn’t belong to me, hadn’t since the day I was taken to Faerie. There was no reason to feel like someone shoved their hand into my chest and stole a piece of my heart.
No matter how much I tried to be reasonable, it didn’t help. I couldn’t stop the possessive feeling of someone stealing him from me.
“She’s pretty,” I finally forced out. “Is she Sofia?”
His lips were pressed tight together, not answering me.
“Is it serious? You have always been a serious guy.”
“It is.”
There was no hiding my wince. “And you love her? Does she make you happy?”
His silence stretched between us uncomfortably. Maybe I should have kept my questions to myself. I didn’t have the right to dig into his personal life. I expected him to tell me that.
Instead, his answer did more damage than I expected as he said, “I thought I saw a future with her.”
Did he mean he planned to ask for marriage? They were that far along?
“Oh.” I worried at my lip. “I think that’s good. It’s good to think about your future.”
“Yeah.” That was all he said.
And I didn’t know how to respond to that. So I jumped to my feet and practically fled back to my room. The entire time, his gaze seared into my back. Still, neither of us said anything to each other.
What was there to say?
Chapter Thirteen
When my phone lit up and Judah’s name flashed across it, it took me a moment to realize he was calling me. After two failed attempts, I was able to figure out how to answer the phone.
“Yeah.” I winced at the gruffness of my voice.
“Is this Joslyn? This is the number that was texted to me.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, it is me.”
“Oh. Are you sick?”
“Fae don’t get sick.”
“Right.” Something ruffled on the other end. “I have someone I think you’ll be interested in talking with.”
I sat up from my bed. It was early morning. I’d heard Foster return a couple hours ago, and shortly after that, the suite had grown quiet again. My mind hadn’t wanted to shut up, so I had lain there for the rest of the morning. The sun filtered through the window, warm against my skin. I had curled at the foot of the bed so I was in the early morning light.
“Who? Where?”
Judah chuckled. “Calm down. There’s still time. Well, not a lot of time. He’s in Boston. You’ll want to leave now so you can meet him this afternoon. He’s a prominent fae, and he’ll be flying out of the country early tomorrow.”
“How can he help me?”
“He studies fae magic in the human realm. If there’s one person to talk to about what is possible and how, it’d be him. I think he can help you understand better what Laikynn is up to.”
“Right.”
“I’ll text you the address, you should leave now. Traffic sucks, and I’m sure you still need to find a car.”
“I’m with some old friends of mine. I’m sure they’ll let me use one of their cars.”
“You can drive?”
I smirked. “I think I can remember. It’ll just take a couple of fender benders to get used to it.”
He was laughing as we hung up. It only took seconds for his text to come through with an address to a university in Boston.
“Road trip?” I asked Berry. He was on the floor, dozing.
Yes.
“All right. I’ll get ready.”
He didn’t move as I dressed.
I was halfway down the stairs when I froze, staring at the living room. All three guys were passed out, sleeping on the two couches, with Foster on the floor. I frowned. Maybe I should clear out the guest bedroom so they could make use of the bed at least.
My focus narrowed on Jason. His head was peeking out of the blanket he’d burritoed himself in. I was shocked that he was even there. Most likely, Foster had dragged his ass over. I crept down the rest of the stairs. No one moved.
I contemplated who to wake up. I didn’t want to disturb anyone’s sleep. I did enough of that last night with Waylon. They all had to be working on minimum sleep at this point. My gaze landed on Foster and there was a pull in my chest, my fae telling me to go to him. Ever since he practically gave himself to me, something between us opened. He really did feel like mine.
So I followed the pull to him, unable to stop myself. The moment I gently touched his shoulder, his eyes snapped open, zeroing in on me. His entire body stiffened, and I had a distinct impression that he was wide awake, alert, and ready for battle.
My smile was shaky as I whispered, “Can I borrow your car?”
He blinked.
“There’s a contact I need to visit.”
“Who?”
“A research professor in Boston.”
“That can be four or five hours of driving.”
I nodded. “So I’ve been told.”
He sat up and rubbed his face. “I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
He rested his hand on mine. I hadn’t realized I was still touching him until he did that. “I want to. It’s a long drive, and it’ll probably be best to spend the night there before coming back. I’m not leaving you alone.”
His concern for me warmed me to my core. I smiled. “Very well, but we need to leave now if we want to see him this afternoon. If we miss him, then we won’t be able to see him until he comes back. He’s leaving the country tomorrow.”
“Then let’s get going.”
“I’m going,” Waylon said from the couch.
“Me too.” Jason’s voice was gruff as he peeked out of his blanket.
I bit back laughter. He looked like he didn’t want to come out of his burrito. I didn’t blame him. It used to be our favorite thing to do, being wrapped up together in blankets, snuggling and talking.
His cool gaze took the amusement out of me. He wouldn’t even appreciate me touching him right then, let alone cuddling him, even if my body hummed in anticipation to do so.
The guys were fast in getting ready, and then we all piled into Foster’s huge four-door truck. Berry managed to wedge himself in the back seat, between Waylon and Jason. They weren’t amused, but I wasn’t going to leave him behind, and Berry would never willingly leave my side for any amount of time if he didn’t need to.
As soon as the last door was closed, I grimaced.
“What’s wrong?” Foster asked, noticing my expression.
“It feels like I’m disconnected from the world. Everything’s mute,” I said and pressed against the window.
“The iron?”
“What’s wrong with iron?” Jason asked.
“Fae are allergic to iron,” Foster answered. He frowned and looked me over. “How have you been doing fine? There’s a lot of metal in the world. I know iron is the worst, but all metals are uncomfortable.”
I shrugged, not willing to tell him how I was able to handle it. That was too vulnerable of a secret to tell. “Just drive,” I said.
He pulled out of the parking garage and worked his way through the busy streets. I had to put down my window hoping the air would help clear the muteness of being inside the vehicle. This was my first time in one after becoming fae and it wasn’t pleasant at all.
“Once we leave the city, the air will be clearer. That will help,” Waylon said.
I nodded as a response and fo
cused on the passing scenery and less on how my stomach roiled in discomfort and my skin tingled with agitation. If I had taken the time to eat breakfast, it would have all come back up at this point.
Waylon was right. It became easier to breathe when we got outside the city and both sides of the massive highway were all trees and mountains. No one bothered to speak. Jason distracted himself with his phone, Waylon stared out the window, and Foster focused on getting us to Boston safely.
“What have you guys been up to?” I asked, wanting to know more about them.
Foster glanced over at me with a smile. He reached over and grabbed me, pulling our entwined hands to rest in the middle. It was nice touching him and helped keep my nerves down. Neither of us was inclined to let go.
“I got out of the army two years ago. Special Forces.”
I grinned. “You made it that far? I know you mentioned it being an option.”
“For five years,” he said.
“Was it everything you wished for?” I asked, remembering the scars on his chest.
“And more.”
Jason snorted. “Don’t sugar coat it.”
Foster sighed. “It was easier after you left to get in. I had motivation.”
“Oh. To find me.”
“Yes.” He didn’t expand, and I didn’t ask him to. Special Forces had to be a sacrifice I’d never understand. He did exactly what he wanted to do, but at what cost?
“What about you, Jason?” I asked, turning in my seat to speak to him.
He glowered at his phone, a muscle ticking in his jaw. My heart fell as I realized he wasn’t going to answer.
“I made it as a lawyer,” Waylon answered instead.
I grinned big. “That’s amazing. I know how hard you worked toward your bar exam. Medical attorney, right?”
“You remembered?”
“I’d never forget something like that.”
Jason made another sound of displeasure, and I wondered if that was going to be the pattern until I went back to Faerie.
“Cut it out,” Foster warned.
Jason shoved his phone into his pocket and glared out the window, effectively ignoring all of us. I tried not to take it to heart but that was impossible.
“Berriar...” Foster fumbled over his name. He let go of my hand, and I missed the touch right away. “How did you find him?”
Faerie Kissed Page 9