is not proof of your fallibility that you don't like her. She can anger a saint in less than a minute, maybe even without speaking a word out loud. And I am also certain there are plenty of people like her, people nobody likes. As long as you treat people fairly you don't have to like them personally. Of course it helps if you don't show your dislike, but there are limits to what a person can bear in the form of insults and disrespect.'
He took his time thinking that through, then asked, 'But she didn't even insult my own person but someone else. And she later proved she wasn't truly bad because she loved her sister very much.'
He really seemed to mean that, so I took it upon myself to contradict him.
'You may dislike her for being mean to someone else, yes. Her kind usually only treats those below them with contempt. She would never show you her true feelings unless she thought she was above you. And I bet her sister couldn't wait to escape her bossy sibling. I've stayed under her roof regularly the last ten years, I was very close to her staff, they disliked her and didn't even respect her, because she refused to acknowledge their humanity. To her, they weren't people with their own lives, she never thought of them as individuals with hopes and feelings, they were servants to be worked. The only reason she paid them well and let them stay at home if they were sick was that it would give her a bad name among her own kind if she mistreated them.'
And I do believe that, she'd never give them a day off if she could help it.
Maybe he thought I was letting my dislike for Lady Catherine get away with me but he didn't say anything of the kind. Instead he looked at me in a peculiar way and said, 'I suppose you're right. I will miss you, Simon, very much so. I would consider replacing Enrique if I thought you'd agree to leave Mr Manners. But I have plans for him and Mrs Manners, I cannot insult him by stealing away his valet. Besides, you have your friends here, and I'm afraid my household is not a friendly place, not even in the back. Oh well, even I cannot have everything I want. We'll meet one last time tomorrow, and I hope that will not be the last time altogether, I want all my sycophants in pantaloons when my time has come to take the throne. Thank you, Simon, and good night!'
And that was it, I was free to go. One more time, and I'll be able to laze about in the mornings again, snuggle against you and kiss to my heart's content.
And then you'll have to make your excuses to Mr Darcy's relatives for being late to breakfast. Or have Anne do it.'
'He wanted you to come and work for him? I knew he liked you, but now I'm getting jealous. Do you think he wants more?'
'I don't think so, my love. I think he really does want my talent for fashion, not my gorgeous body. He never asked anything intimate after that one time, and he never tried to touch me or kiss me. I think he is exclusively for the ladies.'
'Good, or he'd certainly have found us out. Now we can always hope it won't occur to him, and if it doesn't he cannot tell you or me, and then he'll never know.'
That didn't make much sense but of course Simon understood perfectly. They danced two more dances together before they paused to drink some wine, then danced again and again until everybody was really tired and they all went to their beds.
Chapter 33
Yes, it was hard to get up after such a late night of dancing and drinking wine at headquarters, and of course Frederick had taken plenty of time afterwards to help Simon undress, as if he was the valet and Simon a fancy gentleman.
His beloved often did that, making Simon feel very special, for no-one had ever seen this Frederick Manners but him. This man was as broad and as strong as his public namesake, with the same carefully manicured hands, the same perfectly groomed whiskers, smelling of the same expensive perfume.
But this man's expression was totally different, instead of careless self-assurance he radiated gentleness and intense love, feelings usually hidden behind a carefully cultivated mask. None but his best friends had ever seen Frederick display any feeling his class thought unmanly: insecurity, vulnerability, even strong love was something he had been taught to hide. His leadership of a college clique, combined with what the world considered perverse preferences, had merely forced him to perfect his façade, the people who had seen him break through it numbering fewer than half a dozen. Mr and Mrs Darcy, Anne, maybe Georgiana and Eric, that was about it. And even they had never seen the real Frederick, the man who clung to Simon as if he was the most precious jewel in the world, who loved a low-born London servant with an intensity which sometimes frightened its object. Life was so
insecure, what if something happened to him? Frederick would fall to pieces.
Which was why, in hindsight, Simon was glad with the close and very public tie to Anne, and thus Nick. That way, there would always be someone for Frederick to trust, he would never again have to face life all by himself, as he'd had to so much of his early life.
Frederick's loving attentions last night had in due time progressed to somewhat more heated activities, and they had fallen asleep tired but sated, too tired for Simon to worry about his last time tending to Prince George. But now he could no longer postpone that duty, it was not altogether a nuisance since Prince George was actually quite a decent fellow, but Simon still feared some last-moment questions forcing Simon to lie about something or other.
He was very good at lying, but he doubted he could fool such a clever man and besides, he didn't want to lie to someone he liked, he wanted Prince George to respect his privacy instead.
'Simon, I love you. Do you think I should get up myself, say my goodbyes?'
After kissing Frederick with all the love he felt for him, Simon told him the truth as he saw it.
'I'd prefer you didn't, my love. He doesn't expect you to, it will only attribute some meaning you didn't intend to give to a mere instance of politeness.
Better let me take good care of him, then have Mr and Mrs Darcy send him off with a show of civility.'
'I will do as you say, my dearest. Can I have one more kiss before you go?'
Simon kissed him again, then dressed, then kissed him once more before leaving their safe room, just this one time with Prince George, he would survive.
'Good luck, Simon. I'm sure you will be just fine, and when you return I will be waiting right here.'
As always, his reception left nothing to desire, Prince George was glad to see him, judging from his familiar exclamation.
'Simon, I'm so glad you're here, and in perfect time! I'm sorry to bother you this early when your master may need your services himself, but I'm very happy to have you nonetheless!'
The prince was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his dressing gown, he had already poked up his fire, as usual, and his well-worn saddlebags were obviously ready for his journey. The curtains were also open, the prince liked to greet the morning sun and generally opened his curtains himself when he brought new life to his fire in the shape of a few blocks of wood from the
small container standing beside the fireplace for just that purpose. It wasn't a well-built fire, the merry blaze would soon die down, but by then Prince George would be on the road and the chamber would be cleaned for the next guest to have it, probably Earl Compton. Or maybe Mr and Mrs Bingley would get it, the bed was large enough for two.
'Please don't look at me in that certain way when you see my clothes for the day, Simon, I know they are horribly out of style and more than a little worn, but they're so warm and comfortable, I just cannot part with them yet. At least they're clean, the maid brought them yesterday, she had even tried to press them, poor thing. Little does she know my staff refuses to even give it the effort, it's just hopeless and I know it, but I don't care.'
Simon didn't know what to say so he kept his quiet. There was plenty for him to do anyway, Prince George let himself be washed and dressed despite his travelling outfit indeed not being worth looking at twice. It had once been prime quality hunting gear, Simon guessed, the main colours were greens and browns and the breeches matched the coat. But now it was years
out of style, seams were sagging, the colours were faded and the metal buttons had dulled, and the embroidery was a disgrace, where threads weren't fraying they had faded and there was no way to know what some well-paid seamstress' prized work had once been supposed to look like.
'Please, Simon, don't look at me like Enrique did just before I left, I thought you would have some sympathy for an old man trying to keep warm on the road. If I promise you I'll throw them out and have a new set made as soon as I get home, will you pretend not to notice? Remember, this is our last time together, and then our ways will part once more. I want you to remember me well, Simon, I want you to visit as much as your mistress and her husband.'
Trying to control his expression was so difficult, and he knew he'd failed when Prince George's face turned to a pout and he said, 'You're not planning to, are you? Not just you, Manners and Mrs Manners as well. I can see it as clearly as if you've just told me. You have all been kind to my face and have nodded as if you agreed to visit, but you, Simon, do not want to at all, and you are going to make sure they don't either. Mr and Mrs Fielding, too?
Please tell me they will come, they promised, he said he'd continue my lessons, that he'd teach me how to play those romantic works myself.'
How? What? Simon knew he looked foolish and caught, how could he know?
And what else did he know? But he did not despair and instead tried to save the situation by being glib. Glib, but mostly truthful, lying to this man was of
no use, he'd know.
'You know my master would never let anyone decide such things for him, Your Highness, nor does Mrs Manners let others decide her fate any longer. I suppose they would have told me if they intended to return to London soon, which they haven't. I am however certain Mr and Mrs Fielding are planning to visit you regularly at Carlton House. They are bored out here, they want to go back to town and be with their friends and enjoy city life. But Mr and Mrs Manners enjoy the country very much, they will most likely stay here all summer and then they will want to go abroad, with Mr and Mrs Fielding, of course.'
His tone was light but his heart quailed, what did this man know, to bluntly state that Simon was going to keep his master and mistress from visiting his palace in London? He was just a valet, a servant did not decide those things.
By now, the prince was fully dressed and ready to go. Why didn't he just go and leave them alone, why did he insist on ruining the lives of people he professed to care about?
'I see, now I've totally spoiled everything, I knew I shouldn't have said anything but if I hadn't you wouldn't have come, I took a chance and failed.
Don't look at me like that, Simon, please, you know I like you a lot, I would never do anything to hurt you or anyone you love. Yes, I know, I know Manners' marriage is a sham, a distraction for the outside world to stop them from wondering when the darling of society is finally going to lose his heart.
It's a marriage of convenience, she loves her guard, and he loves you. And if you don't dare to visit me at Carlton House for fear of my finding out about this, I will have to look at those horrid wigs and breeches for another decade or two.
Yes, I know, Simon, and I don't care. I've loved a man, and though I discovered it wasn't for me I'm not going to hold it against someone I like a lot. It is none of my business, and I should have minded mine from the start.
But I just cannot refuse a challenge, and I was truly concerned with Mrs Manners' fate in a marriage without love, and when I found out she loved someone else I just had to know why her husband didn't mind. Can you forgive me? And do you believe me when I tell you it doesn't make the slightest difference to me? If you visit me in London I will make sure you can be together as often as you are here. I was very impressed with your arrangement, you know, eyes both in the front and the back of the house. I hoped you'd all agree to help me find a leak in my household, someone is
selling information to a reporter and my own people cannot find who is responsible. I could, but of course I cannot be found sneaking about in my own home. Please forgive me my curiosity and talk to the others, you will not regret coming, not you and Nick either, I will make it worth your while.
Maybe introduce you to my own circles afterwards? Nick posing as Manners'
cousin several times removed, and you as a fashion expert?'
Dared he believe what Prince George said? He wanted to, at least the part where the prince said he wouldn't expose them no matter what happened.
'Do you know what will happen to Frederick if anyone finds out he loves a man and has relations with him?'
Simon knew he was way out of line talking to the Prince of Wales like that but he had to do it, this whole thing had so much potential for blackmail, he had to know whether Prince George wasn't planning to force them to become his next assets to amuse him for a few seasons. But the prince didn't seem to feel it that way, his expression became very sober and he took his time thinking of what to say in reply. Which did hearten Simon more than a little.
'You must know I have been on the receiving end of society's criticism often enough Simon, and I admit, often rightfully so. But my sins are all those people recognise in themselves. Men, especially those of some fortune, are generally eager to forgive their own sins in another, even if he displays them to a scale they cannot even imagine for themselves. Maybe because they cannot imagine how they'd have a lord's lawful wife as their mistress, or spend a few thousand on a painting.
But Manners' sin, there is no way they would ever forgive him. They would cast him out, revile him, even try to hurt him physically or prosecute him. He would lose everything, as would you, my dear Simon, and wouldn't society be the less for it? You both bring something valuable to the world, and I for one think it is your own responsibility how you live. Only God can judge you for your behaviour since it doesn't harm anyone.
I know what you face, my dear friend, and I will not let it happen. I promise to keep your secret whether you visit or not, whether you see fit to help me or not. If you choose to go abroad I will support you in whatever way I can, and if you choose to stay I will help you be together as often and as safely as possible. Though the stakes are not as high for me, I know what it is to try to keep a secret.'
And then he had to leave, Simon felt horrible but there was nothing more to say, Prince George knew it would ruin Frederick if what he'd figured out
became common knowledge, they could only hope he'd keep his word.
'Can we part in friendship, Simon? Please?'
Since there was nothing left to lose, they might as well. Let Prince George remember Simon well, and hope he would stick to his promises, even when drunk or totally smitten by some new woman or other.
'Of course, Your Highness. I trust you, and I have come to like you more than a little these last days. I'm sorry if my secret has made me less than forthcoming.'
'There need be no secrets between us now, my dear man, you know I need you, please trust me to protect you.'
And he took Simon in a very intimate embrace which Simon managed to accept in the spirit in which it was offered and even return to a certain extent.
What else was there to do?
Before Simon could offer to carry the saddlebags to Prince George's horse, there was a knock on the door. It was the butler, ready to take their important guest to the entrance for his adieus to the master and mistress of the house.
Simon received one last encouraging look from the future king, and a hearty,
'Please say goodbye to your master and mistress for me, Simon. I hope we will all meet again in London.'
There was no innuendo in that sentence, just kindness. Simon planned to not worry about it, but even if he did he would be able to share his feelings with Frederick and most likely Anne and Nick as well. They were all in this together, although Frederick had most to lose as the darling of the London beau monde.
Once the prince was out of sight, as so often before, Simon fled to Frederick's bedroom on the second floor, to hid
e his face in his lover's arms and let Frederick convince him that none of what had happened was his fault and it would all turn out well.
'That was as pretty a send-off as you've ever given someone, my dearest Elizabeth. I really thought Prince George would melt instead of ride off on his fabulous stallion. Such a beautiful creature, if only he had taken the trouble of wearing something vaguely appealing himself I would have dared say he sat that horse like a true prince.'
Elizabeth laughed heartily, she, too, was relieved to see the back of their first unexpected guest. Though probably not as much as Fitzwilliam, and his relief
probably paled compared to Simon's.
'I suppose Simon gave him an earful on that already, my love, or Prince George wouldn't have asked me which colour I thought would be most fetching for a new outdoor suit. Somehow, greens and browns are not his colours, and I think a deep blue will match this horse much better as well as His Highness' complexion.'
'I'm glad you refrained from mentioning that last bit, though I wouldn't put it past Simon to comment on a crown prince's apparel, even if I wonder whether it's a sensible thing to do.'
'Well, do not be surprised if even the Prince of Wales depends on fashion advice from the valet you let go as soon as you'd caught yourself a woman.'
'Not before he'd gotten that same deeply beloved damsel an honourable mention in various newspapers with his invaluable advice, my love. Besides, what could I have done, chain him to my wardrobe and fight a duel with Manners over him?'
'True, there was nothing you could do. I will miss him, though, and for his person, not his advice, though that was always good. Did your aunt tell you when she is planning to leave? I promised Lydia she could stay until her dresses are finished, which may take as long as a week.'
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