“Did you know?” The question was thick with doubt, thick with despair. “Is that why you left?”
Chloe was sucked out of her moment of jubilation by the very real darkness of her husband’s emotions.
“Oh, no, Raffa.” She stood, and moved towards him, lifting her hands to his chest. He gripped her wrists, as though he wanted to pull them away, but instead, he held her where she was, held her close to him.
The words tumbled out of her, one after the other, just a jerk of sounds that she hoped made sense. “Raffa, I’m so sorry for what I did. I thought… I thought it was for the best. Leaving you, I mean. I was told I couldn’t have children. And I thought… I thought Amit would be enough, that you would accept him as your heir, but then you told me the truth about him and I knew I could never give you what you needed and so I left, but I had no idea! I was told I could never fall pregnant.”
He looked beyond shocked, of course. “When? When were you told this?”
“The morning I left,” she said, shaking her head. “Oh, I don’t mean that I lied to you. Only after a few months, I started to worry, to suspect something was wrong and I got tested. I needed to know. And the morning after we came back from the desert, the doctor called. Believe me, Raffa, if the results had been ambivalent, I wouldn’t have left. But with no possibility of giving you the heir you needed, how could I stay? This is impossible, Raffa. It’s a miracle. I can’t believe…”
“So you left me because you thought you couldn’t conceive,” he said, as though slowly piecing together a puzzle. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Chloe went to pull her hands away but he growled and instead wrapped them around his waist, before doing the same, locking her in his embrace.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He repeated.
“Because I thought you’d feel obligated to stay with me.” She dropped her gaze. “I know how much is at stake here – how much this baby would mean to you. I understand your duty to your kingdom, and the kingdom’s need for continuity. And I couldn’t bear the thought of locking you into marriage without being able to give you the one thing you needed from me.”
“The one thing I needed from you? Chloe,” he shook his head. “There is much I need from you, and a baby is lower on the list than you might think.”
She shook her head. “Sex isn’t enough either.”
“I don’t mean sex,” he promised, running his hands over her back.
“Then what? What do you want from me? I can offer you nothing, Raffa.”
“What about your heart?” His eyes flared when they met hers. “What about your kind, sweet heart?”
She gasped. “You guessed how I feel?”
“No.” He dropped his forehead to hers. “I hoped. I hoped when I had no reason, I hoped every night when I went to your room and stared at your empty bed and wondered where you were, and how you were. I hoped that you were missing me, that you loved me. And then you sent the divorce papers and I had my answer, yet still I hoped. And now I hold you in my arms and I am so close to having everything I want and need in life, but it all rests on you. Chloe, did you leave me because you wanted to? Did you leave me because you couldn’t bear to be married to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“After the way I treated you, I would understand. I cannot believe the way I behaved. How I bossed you around and … how you must have thought and felt. I cannot believe I let my passion for you turn me into such a bastard. I wanted to change that – I wanted to show you that I could do better, but I knew it would take time. And you left…”
She sobbed and shook her head. “I told you, I left because you need an heir and I thought, up until a moment ago, that I couldn’t give that to you. I learned the truth about Amit only hours before discovering I couldn’t have a baby. I’d thought we might move on from the fact I couldn’t conceive – if that was the case – but only because of Amit. And when I realized he wouldn’t be able to act as your heir… what choice did I have?”
A muscle jerked in his jaw. “I hate that you ever though leaving me was a choice you should make.”
“You need an heir, Raffa. I understand that.”
“Yes. And you’re pregnant.”
She sobered, squeezing her eyes shut. “But that’s a miracle. I may still not be able to have this baby. Doctor Schultz told me that even if I could conceive, carrying to term would be difficult.”
Something like sorrow flashed in his gaze. “I’m so sorry that you have shouldered this worry alone, habibte. But I want you, Chloe. Regardless of whether we have a child together or not, I want a wife – I want my wife. And I want to be your husband.” He frowned. “God, a better husband than I have been. I want to be the husband you deserve. When you left, I was glad, you know, in some part of me, because it was what I deserved. I have treated you in a way that beggared belief and when you took yourself away I knew that I had been wrong, that I deserved your contempt and your hate.”
“I never hated you,” she whispered.
He arched a brow. “I seem to recall you saying that to me one night – and I deserved that too.”
“I hated how much I loved and needed you and how little you felt the same for me.”
“How can you say that? I spent every moment of every day thinking about you –,”
“But never talking to me,” she interjected. “It was very easy to believe this was all about sex for you.”
“I was an idiot. I didn’t admit, even to myself, that I was in love with you. I was scared of love, scared of what it means to be vulnerable to someone. I knew for months that this wasn’t about a baby – that I was coming to you each night because I needed you. But when you left, how could I not admit what I felt? I lost a part of myself when you disappeared Chloe, and I would have given my life just to know you were safe.”
“Raffa,” she stood up on tiptoes. “I had no idea I could hurt you like that. I truly believed that I was doing the right thing in leaving you. I believed you’d divorce me and remarry, and be as happy as before. You told me those were my options, remember?”
His frown showed he didn’t.
“On the night of that ball, when we made this baby bargain, you told me that you would remarry if I didn’t agree.”
He swore under his breath. “A stupid, meaningless threat.”
Chloe’s heart turned over in her chest. “I didn’t know that. I thought you were serious, and that you planned to replace me if I didn’t fall in with your plans.”
He shook his head angrily. “God, Chloe, no. It was never my intention…”
She lifted a hand to silence him. “So when I found out I couldn’t have children, when Doctor Schultz told me that, I presumed you’d simply do as you’d said. That you’d be relieved to get the divorce papers, for it would allow you to move on officially.”
“Relieved?” The word was a hoarse, thick plea, and then he reached for his desk, lifting the papers in his hands. With a single, fulminating look at his wife, Raffa ripped the papers down the centre. “Seeing this on my desk was one of the lowest points of my life. Almost as bad as the pain of hearing that you’d run away. Of knowing you were out there somewhere, and that I may never see, touch nor speak to you again.”
Her smile was a ghostly imitation. “If I had known you were as miserable as I’ve been, believe me, I would have been here with you – I would have told you the truth. I wanted nothing more than to stay here, but how could I when I’d failed you?”
“Failed me? Never speak to me in those terms again! I won’t have it. Chloe, Sheikha, you are more than a dream come true. With or without this baby, you are all I could ever want.” He stroked her cheek. “Do you know something?”
She shook her head. “Apparently I know nothing.”
His grin made her heart flip over. “I’m ashamed to admit this, but I was almost glad when you didn’t conceive. Each month that passed meant I would have more time with you, more reason to come to you.”
; “And I was terrified of conceiving because it would put an end to what we shared.” What idiots they’d been! What fools!
“I wanted to share so much more with you. In the desert, I wanted to talk to you – to show you that I wanted more than your body, that I wanted our marriage to be a real one in every way. But then I ruined it by making love to you the second we were alone and in private…”
“That didn’t ruin anything, believe me. It was magical.” Her cheeks flushed and then her eyes widened as she worked back the dates. “In fact, that must have been when we …”
He laughed, nodding. “I think you’re probably right.” He dropped his head forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead, and then, he bent down to his knees, placing a kiss against her stomach before looking into her eyes.
“I married you because it made sense, and now I am asking you to come back to me because nothing makes sense without you. Because you are half of me, all of me, and I am nothing without you. I love you. I love you in a way that is new and different and utterly consuming – and I will spend every day I am given on this earth making you happy and content, and convincing you of how much you mean to me. Never again will you have cause to feel pain or doubt. I would give my kingdom for you, Chloe, if you asked it of me.”
She bit down on her lower lip and then she smiled. “I don’t ask it of you. What I do ask is that we rule your kingdom side by side, for as long as we both shall live.”
He expelled a sigh of relief. “And we shall live a long time, and with utter happiness, my darling habibte.”
Epilogue
“YOU HAVE TO RELAX.”
Sheikh Rafiq Al-Khalil turned to his wife and despite the tension zipping around the room, he laughed. A thick sound that had her smiling in return. But only for a moment, then, a grimace was back, darkening her face, reminding him of his job. He held his hand out and she squeezed it so hard, yet he wished she would squeeze harder. No, he wished he could weather this storm for her.
“That’s it, Your Highness. Nearly there.”
Chloe waited for the worst of the pain to pass and then let out a low cry. “Don’t you think,” she said between snatched breaths, “we’re intimate enough for you to use my first name?”
Doctor Schultz met her eyes and twisted his lips in a small smile. “No.”
“You’re delivering my miracle baby…”
“This is a miracle baby alright,” he agreed. It had been a tense six months since Chloe’s return to the palace – she’d been cossetted and wrapped in cotton wool, but all for this! Her pregnancy had progressed, their baby in her belly was strong and active. This was happening. “Now push. Once more – you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Go!”
Chloe didn’t need to be told twice. She squeezed her eyes shut, braced her whole body and pushed as hard as she could, until she felt like she might break in two, and then, suddenly, in the midst of the pain, from the centre of her soul, she heard it.
An infant’s cry.
She collapsed back against the bed, her blonde hair wet from perspiration, her whole body sagging with relief and delirium.
“What is it?” She asked, remaining where she was, catching her breath.
“Your highnesses, congratulations. You have a perfect little son,” he grinned, gesturing for Raffa to join him. The Sheikh cut the umbilical cord and then took his son, wrapped in a gold blanket, into his arms. He stared down at the little face with his mother’s dimple and Raffa’s thick dark hair and every piece of him slotted into place.
“A baby boy,” he said with wonder, moving back to Chloe and placing the baby on her chest. His throat was thick with emotion, and he found he couldn’t stop staring at his wife and their child. It was a perfect tableau. “We have a baby boy.”
“You are blessed,” Doctor Schulz said with a shake of his head. “I will never understand how this was possible.”
Chloe smiled, but didn’t lift her gaze from the baby she and her husband had made. “It was just meant to be. A perfect little surprise.”
“And I thought you didn’t like surprises?” Raffa reminded her.
Chloe threw him a look, having no idea how beguiling she appeared in that moment. Her hair was a mess and her face was flushed, but she glowed from every single pore of her body. “Apparently I was wrong. It would appear some surprises are very, very good.”
They sat and stared at their son for as long as they were able, before a medical team appeared to remove the child, to check his over-all good health. Chloe managed to convince Raffa to leave her side, just for a moment, to let certain people know about the baby. He called Amit, Kalim and finally Apollo.
It was a call he made with some sense of mixed-emotions.
Apollo had long been one of Raffa’s closest friends, and a year earlier, Raffa would have said he could never think ill of the other man. But knowing how his wife had been neglected, knowing how Chloe had been left to fend for herself, to feel lonely and unwanted, it changed how Raffa saw his friend. It changed how he cared for him.
It was a great sadness, indeed, but until Apollo made an effort with Chloe, then Raffa couldn’t imagine their friendship continuing in the same way.
Nonetheless, he was Chloe’s only surviving relative, and Raffa owed it to both of them to pass on their happy news.
“You’ll come and see the baby,” he said, hoping his friend would acquiesce.
“Yes.” The word was clipped. “I’ll come soon.”
“Good. Apollo? It’s time for you and your sister to remember that you’re family.”
Silence met the pronouncement and Raffa gripped the phone tight, waiting for his friend to speak. Heaven knew, there weren’t many people on earth who ever gave Apollo orders, but Raffa counted himself as one of them.
“How is she?”
The question was simple, and yet it promised a world. Raffa smiled. “She is an angel.”
Apollo laughed. “I’m glad to hear you say it. I’ll come over as soon as I can get away. Give her … give Chloe my love.”
When the call was disconnected, Raffa returned to the hospital room to see his wife in the process of being attended to by her aids. He was torn between feeling pleased that she had help when she needed it, and resentment at having this private moment invaded.
It wouldn’t be long before the world would burst in on them, but for a while longer, he wanted it to be just the three of them.
He dismissed the staff and for the next several hours, he was simply a father and husband. He held his baby, watched his wife sleep, and then sang to their precious son, softly, in his own tongue, the nursery rhymes he’d learned as a child.
Finally, as the day dragged downwards and night took its place, Chloe was dressed in an elegant tunic style dress and some loose pants. Raffa helped her to standing, his expression thunderous when she winced a little.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, we do. I’ve read up on the traditions, and this is one of them.”
“A stupid tradition,” he glowered, wanting nothing more than to protect his wife, to ensure her comfort.
“Just think, the sooner we do this, the sooner we shall be home – just you, me and little Reginald here.”
“Reginald?” He burst out laughing, and it was as if the sun was shining from behind the evening sky. Chloe blinked, her heart bursting.
“Okay, maybe not Reginald.”
“Definitely not.” He nodded towards the guards at the doors. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, your highness. So long as you’re beside me, I’m ready for anything.”
Fierce, all-consuming pride filled him like a balloon, puffing out his chest. His beautiful, brave wife, the mother of his child, the savior of the kingdom. What could he ever do to deserve her?
The doors to the balcony were pushed open and the noise from the crowd below rose up towards them like thunder from the ground. Chloe held their baby as though she’d been doing so al
l her life, and in unison, the King and Queen of Ras el Kida stepped onto the terrace.
The crowd cheered as one, an enormous noise that bounced around them. Chloe held their baby closer, dropping her gaze to the little one, her whole soul absorbing that magical moment.
“They already love him,” she said in awe, as the crowd began to chant:
“Amyr! Amyr! Amyr!” Prince, prince, prince!
“He will be their king,” Raffa said softly. “And they know that.”
“One day,” Chloe nodded gently. “But for now, he’s just a boy. Just a baby.” Her eyes met her husband’s. “He’s our baby.”
“And Amit’s,” he said drily. “His brother is already organizing all the activities they will do together.”
She smiled, her heart as full of love for Amit as it ever would be for her own child.
“Then they will both be very happy,” she murmured, her smile almost breaking her cheeks.
“Well, my Sheikha, shall we take him home?”
They left the hospital once darkness fell, a limousine carrying them through streets that were lined with well-wishers, all the way to the palace.
“You must be exhausted,” Raffa said gently, when they were alone, their son sleeping in a basket at the foot of the bed.
“You’d think so, but I’m strangely wide awake.”
“I thought you were supposed to sleep when he sleeps,” Raffa teased.
“So did I.”
“Lie down,” Raffa commanded.
And though she was tempted to tease him, to tease him for his bossiness, she would always love him for that ability to take charge.
“If you say so, your highness,” she said, batting her lashes.
There was the rustle of a sheet, the movement of the bed, and then he was back beside her. And he began to read from the pages of the fairy tale book Chloe had read, many long nights ago, when her future in Ras el Kida had been so much less certain.
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