Patsy Murray

by Douglas E Roff

  “Gladly. Say hi. Now, what’s the urgency?”

  “Remember Societas Regis de Genealogia in London? I just got a call from their in-house tech guy, and they have a huge problem with a hack into their system. Afraid that a WIFI glitch might have allowed access to their air gapped servers. They’re panicked and desperate. Say they’ll pay whatever you want and be sincerely apologetic for their past behavior.”

  “Well, truthfully, it wasn’t their techs who were assholes, it was their Board. And I am inclined to tell them to fuck off as punishment but, as it happens, I am amenable just this once to a disturbance in my Chi …”

  “You mean Patsy.”

  “Yes, Patsy Chi. Hot little number. Oddly white bread European looking for an Asian girl. Anyway, what did we propose last time?”

  “I’ll have to look it up.”

  “Double it and tell them I’ll need some outside help: Beata and Alana, plus their associates. I’ll call and see if they are available. But we work from San Diego and, if they want to see me, they can come out here. Tech people only though.”

  “That’s a big nut. You sure you want to punish them that much?”

  “Yep. They called me a liar and an outrageous charlatan. You reap what you sow.”

  “OK. But I think they’ll pass on hiring us.”

  “No, they won’t. By now they know we do almost all the genealogical societies worldwide. They have secrets that are valuable and need ‘beyond NSA level’ security. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be calling. By the way, it’s take it or leave it. If they counter, hang up and don’t take their calls. I’ll let you know what Beata and Alana want.”

  “Why Alana? She’s not software design or forensics. She’s a hacker.”

  “Yeah, I know. I may need her and for this project, and for my other project.”

  “Don’t do it, Adam. One day you’ll get caught.”

  “Naw. Never happen. Call me when you hear.”

  ***

  “What did Kalindra, K, mean by ‘don’t do it’?”

  “She disapproves of my method of obtaining data for our Mainframe.”

  “Why?”

  “Might not be completely legal. But I always cover my tracks. Besides, the information is mostly publicly available; I just let others collect it, borrow it and re-purpose it. I never screw anyone, except the NSA. I screw them every chance I get.”

  “Sounds like a terrible idea.”

  “I know. But I’m quirky that way. Plus, they tried to steal my tech. They settled out of court for 1.5 billion dollars, per stipulated damages in our contract. And they are banned forever from using Mindwerks.”

  “You’re a lot meaner than you look.”

  “I know. I kinda creep up on the assholes that way. My midwestern hayseed looks are disarming.”

  “Now, what’s this project you’re working on, what has it got to do with me, and what has it got to do with genealogy?”

  “That’s a lot of questions.”

  “I’ve got time.”

  Chapter 11

  Adam said, “Well, I was going to make this a big surprise, but since you’re a Nosey Nancy I’ll have to spill the beans. Just so that you know, this was going to be your birthday present.”

  “How fortunate. Today happens to be my birthday. All good.”

  “I’d like to see some ID on that. You may be an imposter. My girlfriend, Patsy Chi, wasn’t born this month. Pod person? Confidence game? Inquiring minds want to know.”

  “Stop stalling and get on with it.”

  “You’re mean.”

  “That’s why you love me. Now don’t make me play rough. Corporal’s not out of the question.”

  “Really? How bad do I have to be?”

  “Stop now, or I won’t do that thing you like.”

  “All right, Mrs. Grinch. I’ve been working on a program, a complete system really, that incorporates all known genealogical research from all public sources around the world, tied into my Mainframe at the Mindwerks.”

  “What else?”

  “Well, I’ve tapped into the databases of a bunch of private firms too. I borrowed their data.”

  “That’s illegal, isn’t it?”

  “Murky area. I’m putting the data in my Mainframe in a segregated area but tied into my main database. It could multiply your research efficiency to mere hours rather than weeks. Have to train you up a bit, but you could pursue your profession from wherever we are.”

  “We’d be partners?”

  “No. It’s my gift to you. No matter what happens in the future, you will always have your ass-kicking business, and it’s all yours. I’ll even help with marketing until you have your own staff.”

  “How does this all work, and what has it got to do with Kalindra’s call?”

  “Ever heard of Societas Regis de Genealogia in London?”

  “Sure. Secret Society and very snooty. Assholes really. Don’t share like other organizations. High-end private clientele.”

  “Well, they tried to hire me but decided I wasn’t good enough. I was treated to insulting behavior and rude remarks. So now they’ve been hacked, and their precious data has been stolen. They want the system fixed and their data back.”

  “Their Library? It’s famous.”

  “No, that’s air gapped and in a vault. It’s their output that was taken. It’s encrypted and real names not used. But with my Mainframe, I could decrypt the data and find the real identities. I think they know that. My outside team, if they are available, can do that and more. I need them to finish Patsy Murray Genealogy, Ltd., but I can use them on this new project too.”

  “Who are these felons.”

  “Ladies, and top minds in their fields. There’s Alana McCarthy, former NSA hacker. I need her to get me the data I’m not good enough to get myself. Then there’s Beata Armistead and her witches three. They do all kinds of fun stuff. Met them at CalTech and we became instant friends. I feed them business, and they are on call whenever I need them.”

  “Former paramours?”

  “No. Like I said, and keep saying, eight years of celibacy, two with my ladies in New York, then two years with Lola.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Might have been some cuddling and kissing involved, but no slipping “Tab A” into “Slot B.” We were friends and students. We were young and had a blast. And I was always faithful to Misti.”

  “Was she?”

  “Doubt it. But then, that’s all in the past. And I don’t want to know. I have you, and you’re all I want or need. I want to build our future, not dwell on the past. We both should. We deserve to be happy.”

  Patsy was bursting inside with happiness, but apprehensive about Adam’s plans for collecting data. She didn’t want her boyfriend behind bars on account of her, but he said there was almost no chance of ever getting caught. He and his crew were consummate professionals and had avoided detection on numerous occasions, including work done for the CIA and the FBI.

  Patsy said, “I can’t lose you, Adam. I would die. Please, if there is any risk, don’t do this for me. I don’t need to have the best mousetrap on the planet; I can do things the old-fashioned way.”

  Adam thought for a moment.

  “Compromise. I’ll buy the data from my clients and pay for all the public records I don’t already have. I’ll make a bilateral agreement to let companies in your business line have limited access to my Mainframe so long as they don’t steal data and try to go after your clients.”

  “Seems like a better idea.”

  “I can get anything you want. Just ask.”

  “Legally?”

  “For you, legally.”

  “You know I could find the data in a database tracking the source then we could order all the same data from that same source. Would take a little time and money, but in the end, you would have the most kick-ass system in the world.”

  “You can do that? Legally?”


  “Sure.”

  “Good plan but I have no money. Great tits and a killer bod, but my cash isn’t flowing, or whatever that phrase is.”

  “Fortunately, I’m wealthy and a little crazy. I can do it for you, and will, while we are trying to get better. Besides, it’s better if we’re busy together watching out for each other. I think it’s a genius idea.”

  “You trying to get laid or something like that? You will anyway, you know. I’m not a ‘Mount Everest of sexual conquest degree of difficulty’; just don’t take me for granted. And always ask first.”

  “Ask what?”

  Patsy whispered something in his ear with a little tongue flick at the end.

  “Oh that. I always ask first about anything out of the ordinary and have always believed that ladies must go first unless it’s a mercy fuck or a quickie just for fun. You?”

  “I still have trouble relaxing. It seems like something always holds me back. And I’ve never been good at relationships; too busy, too happy alone, too selfish I guess.”

  “I thought we were doing great. Taking it slow, talking out what we’re feeling, making progress. Aren’t we?”

  “We are. It’s been incredible. I feel safe with you, inside. Emotionally. It helps a lot. But I’ve had a lifetime of bad choices, lack of self-respect in some areas and super bad experiences with men. I’m breaking new ground with you, but I still need you to be patient.”

  “Whenever you want to talk, to tell me what is burdening you, you know I’m here for you. I don’t care what happened before the day we became a couple, only who we are together now. You know the things I’ve done. I’m neither proud nor ashamed of my life. But I know I can be better and, talking to you, sharing with you, you’re my safe house, the place where I can just be me.”

  Adam paused.

  “I’d like to be that for you. And as far as the project goes, it’s my gift to you for being who you are. You are important to me, and I need my vitamin Patsy every day.”

  Patsy asked, “Are we ready for sleeping every night in just one bed?”

  “How about if we try sleeping in the same bed for a week and see how it goes. I know this is hard for you, but we can sleep separately until I get you drunk some night. Then we’ll see.”

  “See what?”

  “If you snore. Do you?”

  “Not sure. You?”

  “Me neither, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough. When you’re ready.”

  Patsy said, “I’m a little shy being naked. Around you know …”

  “People? Dogs, cats, rhinos?”

  She gave him her look, a crooked smile that tells everything.

  “No. Men. The usual suspects.”

  “Wear flannels and granny panties to bed. I will too if you like. That way we can be assured that no naughtiness will disturb our sleep time.”

  Patsy smiled.

  “You a cross-dresser?”

  “Never tried it, but in my home, anything goes behind closed doors.”

  “Our home? Or yours?”

  “Ours. That’s better. I have to get used to having a roomie and partner and not being alone all the time. I usually wear boxers and a t-shirt at home. I’ll cover up more if you want.”

  “Let’s me examine you a little closer first. But like I said, I’m shy about …”

  “Your birthday suit? Nakedness? We’ll figure everything out in time. But this is a good start. And if the sleeping in the same bed doesn’t work out right away, or you want to do it later, or never at all, there are two other bedrooms. I’ll make sure one has everything you need or want for your own space, and you can put your own lock on the door. And a chastity belt.”

  “You too? Lock on the door? Chastity jockstrap?”

  “Hell no. I love to cuddle. Couch, bed, kitchen table. I’ll leave a night light on just in case you can’t find my bedroom.”

  She thought, then said, “Let’s be roomies first and try the experiment later. You’re right; we should decide if we’re friends first. And you don’t have to do your project for me until we know.”

  “By the way, I am usually up early, and bedtime varies. You?”

  “Early riser. Usually conk out early. Often sleep on the couch.”

  “Good, breakfast is my specialty.”

  Then he asked, “If you fall asleep on the couch, should I leave you there or put you to bed?”

  “Up to you. No peeking, though the sight would be amazing, to say the least.”

  “I promise. But how would you know if I peeked?”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  “Then I definitely promise. Something.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’ll never wear your favorite bra.”

  “You have no trouble with vague commitment, do you?”

  “Not so far. But then, to be fair, I haven’t seen your favorite bra yet either.”

  ***

  Adam announced to Patsy the next day that his work crew would be flying in that night and staying with them for a while until they got settled. If she didn’t want company, he would make other arrangements. Patsy was curious about the ladies and was fine with having houseguests, especially women with whom she could have some girl talk. There was so much about Adam she wanted to know. She didn’t mean to pry, but he sometimes sounded too good to be true.

  “A condo the floor below is up for rent, so I put down a deposit just in case the ladies wanted to stay nearby. It’s a three bedroom, but I know that Beata and her girl's bunk up in pairs and Alana will be fine with Beata and crew. Alana is open to any gender arrangement but prefers her own team as being “less stupid and a lot gentler.”

  “They’re all gay?”

  “No, just varying degrees of pansexuality. They all like a side dish on occasion.”

  “That was never you? Not even a non-coital excursion?”

  “Nope. Not that I wouldn’t have or they didn’t suggest they were open to some hanky panky. But I wanted them as friends, and once sex is involved, things change. Plus, my state of mind was bad, and they didn’t live in New York.”

  “But you were attracted to them?”

  “Absolutely. They’re beautiful, each in their own way, smart, funny and they adore me like the kid brother who always fucks up and has to be rescued. They helped me after the Misti debacle. Moved to New York until Kalindra took over. I owe them a lot. They’re all like wicked geniuses who understand the way I think. Beata still claims she gets wet every time I talk tech to her.”

  “I better keep an eye on her.”

  “I'd watch out for yourself more. They love redheads.”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  “They probably demand proof of natural color.”

  “I don’t mind. We can see just how Pan-whatever they really are. I’m not that innocent you know. I’ve had my own drunk make-out sessions.”

  “No, I don’t know. You don’t share.”

  “I’m working on it. I’m almost ready. Maybe when the ladies arrive, we can have a group session. I could be more open when I’m with you and your friends.”

  “They’ll love it. And you.”

  “Can you do your mind thingy for me. I’m a little wet from all the excitement of female company in the house.”

  “Step into my office.”

  “You can tell me what you want me to do if you want. You know, take charge. I kinda like it with you.”

  “On your knees, woman. Hands behind your back and close your eyes. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

  “Yes, daddy.”

  “Whoa! That’s my favorite fetish! Now I won’t be able to walk until I handle this situation.”

  “Very funny, perv. Maybe I can help with that.

  “Lend me a hand?”

  “Stop it! I can’t laugh and orgasm at the same time.”

  Chapter 12

  Both Adam and Patsy were excited about the imminent arrival of Beata Armiste
ad, JoJo Thompson, Eene Birkenstock, and Cia Phillips. Alana McCarthy would arrive shortly after the “Witches Four” as they liked to be known. Their coven included one honorary “witch,” Adam. Witch, not warlock.

  When the doorbell rang, Adam was at the door and hugging four very attractive young women, each of whom seemed a bit younger than Adam, but not by much. Oddly, they only had backpacks with them, something Adam noticed right away but Patsy did not.

  When the greeting and introductions were over, they all sat down to chat. There was much to discuss, and they would get right to business after a brief conversation that Beata had been elected to have with Adam and Patsy. Some news was excellent; some not. But all had to be said, and none of the women except Beata was willing to be the bearer of any bad news.

  As they were relaxing with drinks in hand the doorbell rang again; it was Alana, a rather tall and exotic looking woman, elegant in her dress and coiffed to perfection. The Beata crew wore jeans and T’s just like their favorite mentor, looked attractive but wore no discernable makeup and very little jewelry. The five women were smiling at Adam but seemed to be assessing Patsy; she wasn’t sure if it was just ordinary woman looks or they had already mentally undressed her. She would find out soon enough.

  Adam said, “You’re here, so I assume you’ll take the jobs?”

  “We will indeed, and we can talk business and facts after we catch up but I need to deliver some new news to the two of you, and I’ll rather do that now as it will affect other matters we need to discuss.”

  Patsy asked, “About me?”

  “Yes, and Adam. Who wants to go first?”

  Patsy and Adam each pointed at the other, so Beata chose to start with Patsy. She would figure prominently into the “Adam” discussion, so it seemed best to start with her.

  “Patsy, when Adam first called and said he was growing fond of you, we decided to investigate. Adam and we witches have a decade-long history, and we are as close as we can be for four bisexuals and one heterosexual male. Adam, as I’m sure you have discovered, is unique and very different. If we think most people have equal parts right and left brain, that doesn’t describe Adam. He’s more like 80% rational, 15% emotional and 5% ‘other.’ The ‘other’ seems to be the quality that makes women seem to feel so safe and comfortable around them. All of us here have been more than willing to couple with him, and we feel this strange desire to drop our panties when we feel in the mood. We’re never in the mood with other men. So, it’s a different situation.”