by S. C. Ellen
My head falls and I cry into my hands. The events of the past twenty-four hours finally take a toll on me. I have been bruised, assaulted, and have witnessed the aftermath of a horrible death, so goddammit, I deserve to cry.
Carson lets me break down in front of him, with a comforting hand running along my back. Never speaking a word.
After a while I start to calm down and lean back against the pillow. I check the clock on my nightstand and realize it’s after three in the morning.
I have work in just a couple of hours, and I know I won’t get any sleep if I’m left alone again. I suck in a breath, knowing exactly what I need that would help me get through the night.
“Do you think you can stay in here with me? Just for tonight?” My voice is hoarse, probably from all the screaming I did during the nightmare.
He hesitates.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to get any sleep by myself…not without another nightmare.”
His tight expression softens, “Alayna, I told you nothing is going to happen to you as long as I’m here.”
“Please don’t make me beg, Carson,” I whisper softly, ashamed of how weak I feel.
Our eyes lock onto each other, and for a quick moment, I think he’s going to stay with me. Disappointment hits me like a ton of bricks when I see him make his way back to the door and exit the room. It isn’t long before he comes back in with a bag full of ice, as a strange feeling swells inside of my chest. He switches off the light and walks back over to the king-sized bed, climbing under the sheets next to me.
It’s an intimate predicament to be in, and with him so close next to me, it sets my senses into overdrive.
“For your ribs,” he states, pulling back the covers and delicately placing the bag of ice on my side.
Content that my injury is being treated, he settles in for the night, turning his back away from view.
I let out a sigh, ready to try and call it a night again, but not before I say my final piece, “Thank you, Carson.”
“For what?” he questions.
“For saving me…again.”
A moment of silence passes before he lets out a breath and turns to face me again.
“How many times do I have to tell you, mio angelo? As long as I’m here, nothing will happen to you. I promised my life on that.”
And as comforting as that is to hear, I have a hard time believing him. In this world that we live in, the ones you trust the most can soon become your worst nightmare.
Alayna
I awake sweating and overheated, but not because of a nightmare. No, this time, it’s because I’m trapped in the tight grasp of someone beside me. Before I begin to freak out, I remember the events of last night, and Carson falling asleep in my bed.
Carson in my bed…Carson is in my bed…holy shit.
Not to mention, he is smothering me with his weight. I free myself from the tangled mess and find myself feeling an unfamiliar tinge of contentment. It confuses me because after everything that happened last night, how did I sleep so peacefully without a single nightmare waking me up again?
He’s still fast asleep, so I decide it would be safe to finally give him back his robe and put on an outfit for work. I pull it down past my shoulders, and it lands on the floor beneath me.
I hear a low whistle from behind me.
“If this is the kind of show I get when I sleep in your bed, I might have to do it more often.”
I quickly cover my now-exposed breasts and feel a blush start to form.
“No need to cover up now, sweetheart, I’ve basically seen them more times than I should have. Not that I am complaining.” He begins to get out of bed, sending me a slight smirk before heading out into the bathroom for a shower.
I knew it was only a matter of time until Carson’s usual behavior would peek its infuriating little head through, I just didn’t think it would be so…enjoyable this time around.
Taking a look in the mirror, I see the angry bruise is now a deeper shade of purple and blue than it was last night. Shockingly, as dark as it is, the pain has been minimized to a dull ache, and I can move more fluidly. Once I finish getting ready, I head downstairs but halt in my tracks when I hear shuffling in the kitchen.
I peek around the edge of the wall and see a man with a large, black garbage bag exiting through the back door with his back turned away from view. I suck in a harsh breath of air, and book it back up the stairs, taking two at a time, and then start pounding on the bathroom door.
“Carson!” I shout. “Carson! Open up!”
Before I can knock again, the door swings open, and in front of me stands a naked Carson.
“What? What is it?” he asks, clearly bewildered.
“Stranger…in the…kitchen…” I stutter out, trying my very best not to get distracted by his stark nakedness.
My eyes can’t help but veer down his body, and end at the tip of his…tip. He’s huge and deliciously thick, just like the rest of his toned body. I lick my lips at the sight of it all, completely forgetting why I came here in the first place. I peek back up at him, and a devilish smile is working its way across his face.
“It’s just the clean-up crew. I didn’t want you reliving the events of last night by walking in there and seeing that all over again.” He shrugs. “Is there a problem?” And I can tell by the self-satisfied expression on his face that he wants to say something else.
“Uhh…no, no problem…at all…not even a little. Not little at all…” I almost slap myself right then and there, attempting to keep my eyes from roaming south again. I clear my voice by coughing through my embarrassment. “Ummm…I’m just going to go to work now…” And before he can get in another word, I am down the stairs and in my truck in a matter of seconds.
I bang my head against the wheel a couple of times because of how foolish I just was in front of him. This man is getting to me in more ways than one. It would never work out. I’m too stubborn, and he’s too…Carson. Besides, if my dad ever found out…that would be the end for the both of us.
I check the time on the clock. Shit. I have to get to work. I put the key in the ignition and head out in hopes to clear the thought of Carson out of my brain. I notice Lenny, one of my father’s men, starting his car behind me, as well.
Yup…security is definitely going to get a lot stricter. My eyes zero in on the now-vacant spot at the end of the driveway. It takes everything in me not to relive me finding Frank in his car last night. I can’t let my mind go there again.
Focus, Alayna, focus.
I get to the office with a minute to spare, and my day goes by in a blur with the volume of work that is waiting for me. After everything slows down, I pull out my phone to text Carson, but it looks like I already have a text waiting from him anyway. My mood takes a dramatic decline as I read it.
Carson: I’m packing up your essentials as we speak, it should be moved out by the time your workday is finished. For the time being, staying at my house is the safest option. Let me know if there’s anything specific you need me to take with us.
Pulling up into Carson’s driveway, I feel a bit on edge. Leaning my head against the window, I look out at the familiar, quiet neighborhood. Fall has taken over and there are leaves of many colors, gracing the ground. The wind has picked up, and it’s getting a bit chillier outside.
A knock on the window startles me and Carson’s face comes into view. “Are you going to stare out the window all night or are you going to come in? He dismisses Lenny with a nod and opens the car door for me.
With a sigh, I get out of the car and make my way inside Carson’s home, which is now my new living quarters.
“Your stuff is all already here. I’ll show you to your bedroom.” I follow him up the steps into a room, and a shocked expression registers on my face when I see what he has done to it.
“I know it probably isn’t the easiest for you leaving your home, so I wanted to make it as comfortable as possible for you.”
Too t
aken aback to answer at the moment, I stand inside the doorway holding back a sudden urge to cry. Starting from the floor, to the walls, everything is an exact replica of my room before. My bedroom set has been put together in the same way that I had it, my pictures are hung as crooked as I put them, and he even went so far as to include the discarded clothing I had left on the floor from this morning.
“It’s like you never left.”
My heart flutters against my chest at his thoughtfulness. Leaving my very first home without any kind of warning has been a tough pill to swallow. It was my sanctuary away from this crazy life, and to have it ripped away from me is hard, but seeing what Carson has done for me… it makes me feel like I’m home again.
Does he care more than he leads on? Taking a look around the room, the answer is obvious. Something last night obviously triggered a change in our dynamic in the both of us. However, if it’s a good or bad thing, that has yet to be determined.
I stare up at him in complete awe. He’s a bit uncomfortable at first by my gaze, but he stares just as intently back. My heart picks up speed, as my body subconsciously pulls me toward him, and before I know it, I find myself standing right in front of him. His body heat radiating, and his muscles tense.
My eyes seek out his striking green ones. “Why did you do this for me?” I manage to whisper out.
He looks down at me, warmly, mulling something over in his mind. “You didn’t ask for any of this. It was the least I could do to make you more comfortable. Besides…” His stare is unwavering on me. “Seeing your face light up like it did just then makes me wish I could do more to keep it there.”
My heart flutters and my eyes linger down to his lips, and I involuntarily bite down on my own. He lets out a guttural breath at the gesture, and without warning, I am suddenly yanked against his body, trapped in a tight embrace. At first, I’m too in shock to register what’s happening, but then an overwhelming sense of desire erupts inside me as I lean into his chest.
His lips are just a touch away from my own. One swift move is all we need to end this tantalizing game we have between us. He knows it, too. In a moment of pure lust, I think he’s finally about to give in and kiss me. Unfortunately, a shuffling noise coming down the stairs stuns us both back into reality, and I quickly let go of him.
“Ay, Carson! Where the hell can a guy find some beer around here?” Jase’s loud and obnoxious voice pierces the air.
Carson lets out a frustrated breath.
Trying to refocus and steady my pounding heart, I gesture down the hall, “Is one of those doors your room?”
“That’s actually the bathroom, and my office.”
My brows draw farther in. “Where are you going to sleep then?”
“The couch is fine.” He turns to leave down the stairs, but I stop him.
“Carson, you can’t be serious. This is your house, for Christ’s sake, it’s more than fine if I sleep on a couch or a blow-up mattress for a bit until everything with the Russians is settled.”
He stares at me as if what I just said is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. “Don’t be silly, Alayna. I’d never let that happen. It’s not like I haven’t slept in shittier places.”
Taken aback by his statement, I drop it for now and tuck it away for a later time.
“I’m glad you like the room. I know it’s not the best of circumstances we’re in, and me being an asshole is probably not making it any better, so I wanted to make up for it, and this was the only way I knew how.” And with that he exits the room, leaving me more puzzled about what was happening between us than before.
A few hours later, I am lying on my bed, mindlessly scrolling through the ever-exciting world of social media, when a knock suddenly sounds at my door.
“Knock-knock, sis.”
I roll my eyes as Jase makes his way inside. “Weren’t you supposed to be home hours ago?”
“For your information, your bodyguard and I are down there going over strategies for the underground tonight.”
Looking at the calendar on my phone, I totally forgot that it was Friday—which means fight night. An event that Carson hasn’t taken part of since he became my bodyguard, so hearing that he and Jase were going over strategies piques my interests. Especially because the last time I checked, Jase and I were both still banned from it.
“Wait, how are you going? Dad made it clear that you were forbidden from going there, too.”
He looks at me with a sarcastic grin, “Come on, you think he’d really do that to me?”
I let out a sigh. “Yeah, well, I’ll be here. Eating my life away in a tub of French vanilla ice cream and drowning in my own self-pity.”
“Wow, you really need some therapy.”
“Or a puppy,” I joke in response.
Carson suddenly pops into the room, shirtless and deliciously sweaty from an obviously intense workout. “Hey, why aren’t you getting ready?” he asks, confused.
I sit up on my bed, looking just as confused as him. “Getting ready for what?”
“Hate to ruin your exciting plans for the night there, sis, but looks like you’re coming with us.”
“You’re joking?” I ask, looking to Carson for confirmation.
“It’s true.” Carson smirks.
“No way!” I hop up out of bed, nearly jumping out of my own skin. “But I thought I was banned?”
“You were, but Carson put in a good word for ya.”
My eyes stray toward Carson still standing by the door, a lazy smile playing handsomely on his face. “I figured the safest place you could be is with all of us near.”
A shriek of excitement escapes me, and before I could stop myself, I fling myself across the room and hug Carson tightly, every sweaty and delicious inch of him. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I chant. His body tenses up beneath me and I let go, realizing what this must look like to Jase.
“Thank you,” is all I can muster without making eye contact with either of them as I turn and head to the bathroom to get ready.
It isn’t long after that I find myself sitting on a hard bench in the back rooms of the underground with my eyes glued to the man in front of me. Carson is in his blue Blizzard robe—still briefly smelling like the scent of my perfume from when I wore it—bouncing around on the balls of his feet, focused intently on the punching bag in front of him.
He moves over to the bench, picking up a package of white bandage tape, and I have a sudden urge to go to him. “Need help?” I hesitantly ask. His eyes wander slowly up my length until they land on my own. The droplets of sweat from his warm-up trails down his chest and into the crevices of his abs. I guess my ogling has an effect on him because I can see a certain spark of desire glisten inside his eyes. He hands the tape over to me.
With his large and calloused fist outstretched, I grab hold of it and immediately feel the shock of our connection.
“You continue to surprise me,” I admit, rolling the tape across his clenched fists.
His eyebrows draw together, watching the movement of my hand along his. “You’ve had a rough couple of days, and I know how much you enjoyed the underground. It’s no big deal.”
“Well, it is to me. Not a lot of people would try to change my father’s mind, but you did. Not to mention what you did for me back at your house.”
He shrugs it off, holding out his other hand for me to wrap. “Your safety is important, not only to him but to me, too.”
Before I can question him further, my father’s voice from outside of the door interrupts our conversation, and I step away from Carson, releasing his freshly taped fists.
“Looks like a full house tonight!” He barges in, patting Carson lightly on the shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”
“Always, Vin.” And as if nothing happened, Carson puts his headphones back on and continues his warm-up.
“Hi, Poppa,” I manage to speak, attempting to regain my composure.
My father, just noticing me, turns around, and hi
s face contorts into a grimace. “My sweet girl. How are you doing?”
“I’ll be okay.” Yeah. Okay as I can be with the way my body reacts to being so close to Carson.
“When I get my hands on the man who did this to you—” His expression turns almost deadly, so I try to calm him down with a hug. “Carson took care of it, Poppa. Plus, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” Definitely the wrong thing to say because his anger deepens.
“That bastardo is going to wish Carson killed him once I get to him.”
Jase suddenly peeks in through the door. “The fights are about to start, we should get to our seats soon.”
My father nods his head and makes his way toward Carson, straightening out the collar of his robe. “I know you’ll make me proud tonight.”
Carson nods, sharing a genuine smile with him, almost knocking the breath right out of me. I can tell the love he has for my father, and my father for him, as well.
“Come on, mio tesoro, let’s go take our seats. You’re in for a treat today thanks to Carson.”
“I’ll be right there!” I shout, making my way to the door, but hesitating once I get there. I turn around for a brief second, locking gazes with Carson’s questioning one.
I take a deep breath before I speak, “Kick some serious ass so I don’t have to worry about taking care of you later, okay?”
His expression softens and turns teasing. “I highly doubt I’ll get my ass beat, but I might just have to if that means you’ll play nurse afterwards.”
Damn my heart. “Can’t afford to have an injured bodyguard now, can I? Who else will have fresh coffee brewing every morning for me?”
“You suck at pep talks.”
I chuckle. “Seriously, though, good luck, Carson. I know you’ll do great.”
“Thank you, Alayna.”
And it isn’t until I’m front and center seeing him effortlessly take out man after man with a sick desire resting thickly in my bones, that I know I’m in deep, deep trouble. If I’m being honest with myself, I can feel that he might mean a little bit more to me than just as my bodyguard, and that in itself is a scary thing to acknowledge.