by S. C. Ellen
And like the floor pulling out from under us, the face of Vito, Liliana’s father, steps out from the shadows with a gun aimed directly at my father, as well.
He looks worse than I have ever seen him look before. His eyes are bloodshot, his movements unsteady, and his face an unmistakable mask of grief.
“Vito?” my father asks. “Out of all of my men, it was you who wanted me killed?”
“Who do you think gave my father, Vitaly, the code to the mansion to take you out that day?” Dmitri remarks. “Funny how he just so happened to leave right before we infiltrated that club of yours.”
My father’s face is one of pure anger.
“Why?” I ask, stunned by the revelation.
Vito’s expression turns hateful. “My wife…my beautiful wife…dead because of him! Because of what he made me do!”
“You knew the risks you signed up for! It’s your fault you chose alcohol instead of protecting your wife from our enemies!” Uncle Romario shouts. “And what about Liliana? Your daughter? Did you ever stop and think what would happen to her if anyone ever found out her father was a fucking traitor?”
“She’s better off without me!” Vito is getting antsy, like he can’t handle the truth of what Uncle Romario is saying.
“You’re a coward, Vito,” Uncle Romario spits, aiming his gun straight at the drunken man. “And cowards deserve to die.”
“Just like Vincenzo does!”
Everything happens in slow motion. One second we’re there, and then a spray of bullets comes out of Vito’s revolver, sending bullet after bullet into my father’s stomach. Before I can even react, Uncle Romario pulls the trigger of his own gun, shooting Liliana’s father dead and sending Carson to set his own gun into action, hitting Dmitri in the side, causing him to fall to the ground.
My father’s eyes are wide and bleak as he looks down at the bullet holes covering his suit, before staggering back with weak movements.
“Poppa!” I scream, crawling over to my father who is now bleeding from the wounds piercing through his stomach. “No! Not you, Poppa, please!” I cry out, not caring what is happening around me.
His stunned eyes find mine, and his hand shakily reaches out to me. “Tesoro…” He whispers, causing a sob to break through me.
“Oh, Poppa,” I choke on my own tears leaning into his palm. “I can’t lose you again, Poppa. I finally just got you back. Don’t leave me!”
He coughs up a bit of blood, sending fear to rip through me at the sight of it. He struggles hard for his next breath before trying to speak again. “The baby…is Carson’s, yes?” The mention of my unborn child causes more tears to fill my vision, and the thought of him knowing the truth without me ever having to tell him. That’s my father, always so in tune with his surroundings even as death beckons for him. I nod, unable to voice the words out loud.
He smiles, intaking a painful breath. “Good.”
I can’t process the shock of his confession because Carson grabs onto my shoulders, leaning over me to take a look at my father. He lets out a curse, bowing his head in grief. “I’m so fucking sorry, Vinny.”
My father reaches out his other hand to Carson, clasping it tightly against his own. “There is no man better…who I would want to have…for my daughter…than you, son.”
Carson looks at my father, like he can’t believe what he just said, as well.
My father closes his eyes for a brief moment, sending a rush of dread through me. “I know you will do everything you can… to be a better man for my daughter… and my grandbaby… I knew it was bound to happen sooner… or later… you two… were always destined for one another from the beginning.”
“Why are you talking like this, Poppa? We are going to take you to the hospital, and everything is going to be okay! You’re going to watch all your grandchildren grow up, and you’re going to be the best grandpa like you were a father. Please, you have to hold on! I need you, Poppa! The familia needs you!”
He looks at me again with tender eyes. “My Alayna… so strong… and so brave… I’ll always be with you, mio…tesoro…”
His eyes find Carson’s. “My son… not by blood… but by love… a love I know you will share with your own.”
Carson bows his head again. “You are one of the greatest men I have ever known, Vin. I was always honored to be considered as a son to you, and I only hope to be half the man and father that you were.”
Content with Carson’s confession, Poppa closes his eyes for a brief moment, and I let out a sharp intake of breath before he reopens his eyes, looking more dazed than before.
“Bible… in my office… answers.” His voice trails off, causing my eyes to furrow.
“What, Poppa?” I ask confused, with worry starting to etch across my features. “What are you talking about, Poppa?”
“The answers…” His hand falls limply from my cheek, and his body turns rigid.
“Poppa…” I call out, shaking him. He makes no gesture to move. Carson lets out a string of curses next to me, and so does Uncle Romario.
I shake him more forcefully this time, “Poppa! Wake up, Poppa!” I shake him harder, “Please!”
Carson puts a hand over my own to stop my frantic movements. “I’m sorry, mio angelo. He’s gone.”
No. No. No. No. No.
He can’t be. There’s no way I lost him too, life just isn’t that cruel. No one can take down Vincenzo Pentalini. No one.
He can’t be dead.
“Poppa!” I scream. “Poppa, get up!” Uncle Romario pulls me off of my father and holds me against his arms. “Please!”
I struggle in his grasp, but he kneels down to whisper in my ear, “Please, Alayna, I know you are hurting, but you are pregnant now. You need to calm down before you not only hurt yourself, but the baby as well.”
I remove myself from my uncle’s grip and survey the graveyard of bodies, with horror. Everyone is dead. From bratva members, to familia soldiers… Jase… Vito… my father… I can’t stand to be in here any longer.
I make a move for the door, and Carson follows. I abruptly stop him. “Everyone is dead, Carson! I have been abused, tortured, and belittled, and I had to watch not one but two of my loved ones get murdered in cold fucking blood.”
Regret flashes across his features, “Alayna, I’m sorry, Jase knew—”
“I just need a fucking moment to myself until I completely lose it. Please just give me that.” I leave that godforsaken place, leaving Carson and my uncle inside the warehouse needing a much-needed breath of fresh air. It has been weeks since I felt the night air on my skin, and I definitely need it.
I clutch my little belly, fighting back any more tears that threaten to spill over.
At least I still have you.
Suddenly a voice breaks through the silence of the night, stopping me dead in my tracks. “So, the truth comes out, doesn’t it, kukla?” Dmitri appears from the shadows, limping slightly and bracing his side that is now stained with blood. “I should have known. You played a dirty, dirty trick,” he suddenly lifts his gun straight at me, “and now it’s my turn to end it.”
“Alayna! NO!”
I feel the bullet before I hear it, and I see the blood before I hit the ground. I don’t know I’m shot until I notice blood coming out from a wound right above my stomach, and my vision going in and out of focus.
One minute it’s Dmitri lying lifelessly in a pool of his own blood.
Then it’s Carson running towards me.
My vision blurs again, and my bloodied hand clutches onto my stomach, as Carson holds on to me with wild eyes, applying pressure onto the gash below my breasts. “Carson…”
“It’s okay, mio angelo, I got you now. It’s going to be okay, everything’s going to be okay.” The look in his eyes is enough to tell me that everything is not okay. My baby and I are finally saved by the man we love, but I can feel the darkness of death sweeping over us.
My eyes begin to roll inside my head, and a sense of p
eace overcomes me. “You hold on, Alayna! You don’t leave me. Don’t fucking leave me, please! Hurry up with the fucking car, Ro!”
Carson pulls me up close to his chest, as he places me inside of the car. He’s frantic in his actions. “We’re going to get out of here, okay, mio angelo? We have to. We have a baby on the way, remember? You have to hold on for him.” His voice cracks at the mere mention of our baby, causing tears to fill my eyes.
I knew he wouldn’t abandon us.
“Him?” A weak smile crosses my face.
“Yes, baby. Him. He’s going to be the best thing in the world. He’s going to be so stubborn like his momma, and strong like his poppa. We are going to spoil the shit out of him and show him exactly how much love he has.”
My eyes fill with tears thinking how lovely that sounds and how I desperately want that. How I think I always wanted that… with him.
“I know I don’t deserve you, and I know I’m selfish for it, but I’ll be damned if I ever let you go again. I love you, Alayna. I love you so fucking much that I can’t even think of a life without you in it. All my days, all my nights, begin and end with you. I thought I died a hundred deaths when you were gone, I can’t go through that again. I won’t survive it. I will go to hell and back again and again if that means I get to spend the rest of my days with you. Please, mio angelo, fight for it. Fight for us.” He places a hand over my stomach, stroking it lightly with so much love in his eyes I think I’m dreaming of it. “You make me want to become a better man not just for you, but for myself. I don’t deserve you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t spend the rest of my life trying to.” He rubs a gentle hand over my abdomen with a tear working its way down his cheek. “He’s going to be so beautiful, Alayna, just like you.”
My bloodied and shaky hand makes its way onto his cheek, catching the single, stray tear. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, because right now, at this very moment, I can’t deny how I feel, and have always felt about him. “I love you too, Carson. So, so much.” Suddenly a tremor so painful wracks through my body, causing a scream to make its way up my throat. “I can’t hold on for much longer, Carson. Oh God, it hurts!”
“Fuck!” Carson roars, tears brimming his vision, cursing expletives at Romario to drive faster. “We’re almost to the hospital, baby. Just hold on for a little bit longer. Please, Alayna, I need you! We fucking need you!” His hold on me becomes stronger, and so does his desperation.
The longer I fight, the more tired I feel, and it’s not very long until I give in to the feeling to slip out of this world and enter into the new one I was always destined to be in.
Carson
“Sir? Are you the husband of Alayna Pentalini?” I shoot up from my chair like a crazed person, scaring the tiny nurse to back up a little.
“Yes, I’m her husband.” I don’t give a fuck that I’m lying. My heart is Alayna’s anyway, so I might as damn well be her fucking soulmate.
“Sir, I need you to come with me.”
My mind is racing a mile a minute following the nurse in the dimly lit hallway. I already asked her a hundred questions regarding Alayna’s condition, and she wouldn’t answer. I’ve dealt with thousands of tight-lipped criminals, broke them with just one look—but this broad didn’t even blink once.
Stepping into the room, I think my heart can’t take any more pain, but nothing prepared me for when I see my angel—my Alayna—lying there with a bunch of tubes, wires, and needles sticking out everywhere.
“She’s in stable condition, sir, but there were some complications with her lungs. One of them was collapsed, which explains the chest tube.”
Relief flows through me about Alayna’s condition, but dread finds its way back into my bones. “And the baby?”
The nurse pauses for a moment, looking at Alayna’s chart. “You mean babies?”
“What?”
“Sir, your wife is pregnant with twins. Both healthy and stable, as well.”
“Twins?” I whisper to no one, clearly surprised at the news.
“We found not one but two heartbeats when we did an ultrasound. She’s about seven weeks along, and to have as much trauma as she went through, let me tell you, that women right there is a lot stronger than she looks.” She hands me a picture of the ultrasound and walks out of the door, leaving me staring at my two little miracles.
So tiny but taking up so much love and hope in my heart that it makes me breathless just looking at them.
I hold onto her cold hand, placing a gentle kiss on the palm.
“I’m sorry, mio angelo. I’m so sorry.”
I’ve never felt deep remorse in all of my life, until Alayna left me on the floor that night after I told her those heinous lies the last time I saw her. I didn’t mean a single word I had said to her, and the regret of what I said will eat at me for the rest of my life. Not to mention, the devastation she is going to wake up to also has my heart heavy. It’s strange feeling these kinds of foreign emotions, but I feel them hard, and they weighed heavily on my mind. Not only did she lose her dad during the struggle, but she also lost her brother. Two of the most cherished men she had in her life now gone—all because of the life we live, and the enemies it brings along with it.
Alayna Marie Pentalini is a far cry from perfect, but to me she is. To me she is perfectly imperfect, and that is what I love the most about her. Staring at our clasped hands, I can’t help but think that not too long ago I thought I would never experience something like this. Something so powerful and earth-shattering that it could bring back my lost soul, and get my cold, dark heart beating again. It’s love.
She loves me without judgment and accepts to see the good in me, as well as the bad, and that in itself is commendable. A lot of people would have given up on me, but she fought not only with her words, but with her life, as well. She saved me, just as much as I could save her. She was the antidote to my poison. My undoing. I promise right then that I will always go above and beyond to love her just how she deserves to be loved. And how I deserve to be loved, too.
It’s then that I realize I have a family to fiercely protect now, something I thought I would never get the pleasure of having again. A family that started with my blue-eyed angel, and I’ll be damned if anyone ever tries to take them away from me again.
Alayna
The beeping of a machine wakes me up, and as soon as I see the bright lights, I wish I was back asleep.
My throat feels so dry and itchy, I couldn’t even swallow if I wanted to.
Reality comes at me fast once I realize exactly where I am and why I’m here.
I spring up from the bed, a wave of nausea hitting me like a ton of bricks. “Carson!” I shout in hopes that he’s here with me.
“Shh, angel, I’m here.” Carson makes his way over to me from the couch and holds onto my face, looking as if he hasn’t slept in days.
My mind reels, and panic sets in as I grab hold of my stomach. “The baby… please, Carson, tell me he’s okay.”
A smile fills his face as he hands me an ultrasound picture. “Babies. Twins. Both healthy and alive.”
Another sob breaks through me as I rub my belly, thanking God for keeping them safe. My two little survivors.
“How is everyone? My mom? Tessa?” I peer up at him, seeing the grief in his eyes.
“She hasn’t left her apartment. I’ve had my guys check in on her, but she hasn’t left her bed in three days.”
Another pang of anguish fills my already-beaten heart. “I’ve been out for three days?”
“The doctors put you in an induced coma. You were so hurt, baby, you needed to rest. Your mom and Liliana have been in and out of here bringing me clothes and food because I couldn’t leave your side. Not once.”
He strokes his hand against my cheek, and I lean into his touch. “I’ve done a lot of fucked-up shit in my life, but nothing has eaten at my fucking soul more than when I think about what I said to you right before you left me. I—” He runs a hand through
his hair, calming himself down from the anger the memory brings him.
“I’ve never regretted something so much in all my life, mio angelo. I thought if I said that or if you saw me with another girl, you would hate me and then you would be safe from me, and little did I know that it almost cost you and our babies’ fucking lives.”
His distress is clear, and the demons inside of his head I know are probably doing a number on his already-complicated mind. “Shh, Carson. It’s done with now. I’m safe and I’m alive, thanks to you.”
“I love you, Alayna.”
“I love you, too, Carson.”
Alayna
Sitting in the front pews of my father’s and brother’s funeral is a surreal experience. It’s like I’m there, but I’m not. So many nameless faces sending me their deep condolences, people talking about the wonderful people my father and brother were, and in the blink of an eye, they’re buried.
That’s it.
Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing my mother and Tessa stand over the graves of the men they loved, now gone forever.
Liliana makes her way over to me. “I’m so sorry, Lili.” Even when I think I have no more tears left to cry, a few fall down my cheeks.
“I keep telling myself that this isn’t real, and I’m just waiting for someone to pinch me. My father… I just don’t understand why.”
“None of us ever do, Lili, but you’ll never be alone. You’ll always have us, you know that, don’t you?” She nods her understanding.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Elliot approaches, placing a hand on Liliana’s shoulder.
Liliana looks at him, silently nodding.
With as lonely as Liliana feels, I hope she lets Elliot in, because I think he genuinely cares for her.
I feel a hand rub across my belly, and I lean into the familiar touch. “How are you doing?” Carson tenderly asks. It’s weird being intimate like this so freely in public with him, but if people care, they know better than to address it.