Return by Sea
Tracey Jerald
Copyright © 2020 by Tracey Jerald
ISBN: 978-1-7330861-9-6 (eBook)
ISBN: 978-1-7358128-3-0 (Paperback)
Editor: One Love Editing (http://oneloveediting.com)
Proof Edits: Holly Malgieri (https://www.facebook.com/HollysRedHotReviews/)
Cover Design by Tugboat Design (https://www.tugboatdesign.net/)
Photo Credit: Wander Aguiar
Model: Thiago Lusardi
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
For Tony and Addison.
Your hearts astound me with their utter selflessness. And I know of at least eight others who feel the same way every single day.
All my love.
Contents
The Glacier Adventure Series
Prologue
1. Nicholas
2. Maris
3. Maris
4. Nicholas
5. Nicholas
6. Maris
7. Maris
8. Maris
9. Nicholas
10. Nicholas
11. Maris
12. Nicholas
13. Maris
14. Nicholas
15. Maris
16. Nick
17. Maris
18. Maris
19. Nicholas
20. Maris
21. Nicholas
22. Maris
23. Maris
24. Nicholas
25. Maris
26. Nicholas
27. Maris
28. Nicholas
29. Nicholas
30. Nicholas
31. Maris
32. Maris
33. Maris
34. Nicholas
35. Maris
36. Nicholas
37. Maris
38. Nicholas
39. Maris
40. Nicholas
Epilogue
The End
Also by Tracey Jerald
Acknowledgments
About the Author
The Glacier Adventure Series
In my twenties, I flew to Alaska determined to change the world. I returned home devastated, filled with fear and the kind of heartache it takes years to overcome.
Now, sixteen years later, as I hurl through the sky on the wings of heartbreak and despair, I’m desperately trying to hold myself together. Not just because of why I’m flying back, but because I know he’ll be waiting.
John Jennings — the man who made me realize I could fly without my feet ever leaving the ground.
The promise I returned to keep will change our lives irrevocably.
We’ve been separated for years by more than air; there’s a secret that stands between us.
Only the time has come to reveal it.
I never expected my life to take the turn it did. I planned to raise my children surrounded by family and love.
But plans, and people, change.
As I began to pick up the pieces of my life, I found myself confronted with a wealth of memories tucked away inside me I’d long buried. Especially when I came face-to-face with the ones of Kody Laurence from summers long ago.
When we land together thousands of miles away from where we first met, can we return to the friendship we once had?
Or is it our time for something more?
I lost my heart to a man who walked away without looking back. Over the years, I dealt with the hand life dealt me, slowly shutting down my soul.
For twenty years, I’ve loved Nicholas Cain. He’s returned but neither of us are the same people we were back then. We’ve been polished, punished by life’s harshest seas.
My heart is torn between what was and what could be, but I can’t turn away. And despite everything, the choice to love him both thrills and terrifies me.
Just like my brother predicted it would years before it actually happened.
Prologue
Maris - Sixteen years earlier from present day
“I’d endure any pain for those I love. If only they’d let me.” - From the journals of Jedidiah Smith.
“Maris!” I hear my name being shouted above the cacophony of sound as I’m being escorted by a tall, handsome black man into the VIP area. My brother, Jed, face flushed, swings me around to face him. “What the hell are you doing here?”
The guy, whose grip on my elbow makes the bouncer at my father’s bar who caught me trying to sneak in when I was eighteen appear useless, raises a brow in a silent question.
I just flap a hand at him. “It’s fine. This is my brother. He’s one of Nick’s best friends.”
The impassive face clears, and he winks down at me. “Then you’re in good hands, Ms. Smith. The Champ is just beyond those doors. I’m sure he’ll be awfully glad to see a woman who could knock someone out as hard as his last punch.”
I blush even as Jed drags me closer toward my final destination—Nick. “Thanks for helping me through the crowd!” I call over my shoulder graciously.
He flicks out a two-finger salute before he goes back to guarding the entrance of the hall that I just passed through.
My mind is still down at the arena where Nick pulled out a win no one expected—not the sports reporters, nor the announcers based on the way they were screaming into their microphones. But in my heart of hearts, I knew he had it inside him. He always did.
I dig my nails into Jed’s arm. “Can you believe it? I thought I was going to lose my voice I was screaming so hard.”
“What are you doing here, Sunshine?”
“I got an invitation from Nick.”
Jed’s face turns a furious shade of mottled red. “I’m going to kill him,” he bellows.
More than a few heads of people passing by the mouth of the hallway hear him and turn toward us at the angry sound. I’m a little confused myself. Reaching into my purse, I pull out the letter that came with the credentials I have slung around my neck, identical to the ones my brother has on. “See? This came in the mail a few days ago.”
“So you dropped everything and flew here?” Jed’s voice holds a note of frustrated bitterness I don’t understand.
“It’s Nick,” I say as if that explains it all, and maybe it does. Of all my brother’s friends, the moody, irreverent Nicholas Cain has always been different. Maybe it’s because I know deep inside there’s something between us that’s always been different. There’s something between us that heals the pain in the other. “Anyway, it’s not like I didn’t have a million hours of vacation. Dad said to take off, that he’d watch the bar. See? No issues.”
Jed opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, one of the double doors of the suite behind him flies open. Suddenly Nick’s standing there. His shredded body is barely covered by an excuse of a towel that’s riding just below the title belt he won a short time earlier. “Ernie! Where the fuck are…” His voice trails off when his eyes collide with mi
ne. For just a moment, unadulterated joy shines before a mask drops down over them. “Hey. You came.” Stepping forward, Nick pulls the door partially closed behind him as he approaches.
When he leans down to offer me a one-arm hug, a pungent scent fills my nose. I take an inadvertent step away. “Don’t touch me.” My body brushes back against Jed’s. I take comfort in my brother’s presence.
Because it’s not the smell of his powerful fight I’m recoiling from. Nor is it the booze he so rarely drinks.
It’s the smell of sex wafting off his skin.
“Congratulations,” I offer coolly.
“What? That’s it? I just won the belt! Doesn’t that even rate a hug?” His grin splits his handsome face wide open.
I lean away from Jed. I know from the many years of working at the Brewhouse how to deal with arrogant pricks. “It would if you were even halfway decent.”
He laughs in my face. “Sorry, Sunshine. I didn’t have time to shower once I got back up here.”
“But you sure found time to fuck?” I cock my head around his broad chest, and at that moment, I hear a voice whine, “Nick? Where are you going?”
His face pales.
“Apparently had yourself a hell of a time, Champ,” I congratulate him mockingly.
“You don’t understand.” A dark flush stains his cheeks.
“Actually, I do. I thought you sent me the tickets, the pass, because you wanted to share this moment with people you cared about. I should have done what I originally planned.”
“Which was?” he challenges.
“Stay in my corner of the world with a front-row seat to pay-per-view. At least I could have maintained my illusions you didn’t do this to rub…whatever you’ve become…in my face. Why the hell did you bring me here, Nick? You promised to keep in contact with me, and you didn’t. I’m the fool who jumped when I finally do hear from you. I thought you actually cared.” He steps forward, and I hold my hand up to ward him off. “Don’t. I should have just let you go in my heart when you never reached out just like Jed told me I should.” I turn away and shove past my brother, my long legs eating up the distance to get away.
I make it to the end of the hall before I hear Nick yell, “Maris, no. Wait!” As I whirl, I see Jed physically using every ounce of his strength to hold him back while I make my escape.
Grateful for the intervention, I slip past the same guard who escorted me to the door. The suite is filled with rising noise that overwhelms me. Using it to my advantage to avoid both Jed and Nick’s bellows, I escape.
Thank God my hotel’s not far from here. Then again, is anything far in this illusion called Las Vegas?
Two days later, I’m curled up next to Jed in my bed at the hotel. I’ve tried everything possible to get an earlier flight to get out of Vegas, but short of dumping my entire savings, there’s just no way possible to leave any earlier than my return ticket has me booked for. I’m stuck in a nightmare of my own making—the last one I’ll allow myself.
I’m exhausted from lack of sleep, but to know Jed has essentially abandoned the festivities to be by my side—just like he always has been—is a testament to the man my brother is. “There’s no one in the world like you.”
“I broke the mold,” Jed declares.
“I agree,” I say, even as my heart sighs sadly knowing there’s no one I’ll ever love the way I love my brother.
I just wish Nick would disappear and leave us alone. Instead, he’s taken to randomly dialing Jed at all hours asking how we are. The last call a half hour ago involved him asking if we wanted anything to eat. “Someone’s running out for me,” he claims. “I can have them swing by where you are.”
Jed politely declined. I ignored the whole conversation by rolling to my side and texting my best friend, Kara, in Florida. I want to know how her little boy Kevin is since he’s been battling a spring cold.
“Probably a euphemism for something. Running out for ‘something’ to cover his dick,” I grumble against Jed’s shoulder.
“What’s that?” He turns his head just enough for me to catch the wince on his face. He sticks a pen in the book he was taking notes in before placing it on the nightstand.
“Nick. He’s probably just calling to placate himself you’re not pissed at him. Trust me, we’re not going to starve.”
Jed’s chest lifts up and down beneath me. “Not hardly with the way you’re not eating what you’ve been ordering from room service. I feel like I’m eating for two.”
That earns a reluctant chuckle from me.
“Turn down the TV for me, would you?”
I reach for the remote and lower the volume. “Going to try to nap?”
“No. It’s time for us to have a little conversation.”
I begin to protest until Jed captures my hand, pulling me back into his arms, and places my head over his heart. “From the moment you were born, I’ve loved you. I think Mom and Dad were terrified I was going to smother you in your crib after we brought you home because I would just wander into the room where you were sleeping and watch you.”
“Did you think about it?” I tease him in an attempt to break the tension gripping me.
“Not until you started taking an interest in boys. And then I couldn’t be certain if it was because we’d have crushes on the same guys.” We both laugh until Jed’s face becomes absurdly serious—ridiculous because my big brother is so rarely serious. He’s always the sparkle in the sky, the person everyone wants to be around because they know they’ll never be left out. But I can’t prevent the tears in my eyes when he whispers, “You’re the light of my life, Maris.”
“I know.” Before I can return the sentiment, Jed shocks me to the core.
“And Nick’s the darkness.” Jed sifts his fingers through my hair as he solemnly holds my attention. “If he wasn’t one of the most loyal men I’ve ever met, if I hadn’t had the chance to know him as well as I have, I’d have done anything to have kept you apart. If I thought I wouldn’t die in the process, I’d kick his sorry ass for this stunt. I can’t even make up excuses about why he sent you that ticket, but if I knew, I’d have figured out a way to have kept you up in Juneau. He doesn’t deserve you.”
As much as I want to believe my brother, it’s going to take a long while for me to believe that. Still, I nod to placate him.
“He’s just lucky I believe that beneath the land mines, barbed wire, and stay-out signs, he projects a heart of pure gold or I’d cut him from my life completely.”
That shocks me. “But he’s your brother!”
“And you’re my sister, my family, and I vowed to protect you. There may never be a man good enough for you, but one who would hurt you deliberately? Maris, I need you to hold on to your heart carefully; otherwise, you’re going to send me into an early grave.”
“Trying to tell me falling for Nick is stupid? Trust me, I’m already well aware of that.” There’s so much insincerity in my voice.
“No, Maris. I’m telling you it might be safer to swim in the Bering Sea in the middle of winter than to feel what you think you do for him.”
It’s not my brother’s words that break me. It’s the fact I can feel wetness against my face. My big brother is shedding tears for me and my pathetic heart. “Too late. I’m already underwater,” I whisper.
As he tucks me against him, I let the saltiness drip out of my eyes and onto his chest. For a long while, the only sound is the occasional choking sound I make. I scrub my face back and forth, scratching my cheek against our grandfather’s gold cross Jed always wears.
“It will all work out the way it’s meant to,” I vow.
Jed pulls me as close as he can, despite the fact I know it must be hurting him. I begin to drift off when I hear him whisper, “In the end, my sweet sister, all I want is for you to find a love that makes you happy.”
Nicholas
March - Sixteen Years Later
I step out of the small store and scan the parking lot for my mom’s
dilapidated station wagon. When I don’t spot it right away, I let out a sigh and plop down on the sidewalk with the small sack of groceries I managed to buy with the money I earned on small jobs I picked up after school.
My stomach rumbles. Rebelliously deciding if Mom can’t be here to pick me up on time like she said she would, well, I can dip into the supply of jerky without her permission.
Food, money—hell, love—has been stingy since we got word that Dad was killed in a boating accident on the Bering Sea. But if I’m honest, if it wasn’t for the money he brought in, he wasn’t much for supplying much anyway. Definitely not the kind of man I want to be. I gnaw on the jerky while faded memories of a burly man who gratefully ignored me after I started to get older and bigger flit through my mind.
She’s not much better, but I guess we’re all the other has now. Swallowing, I scan the parking lot again, trying to find the dilapidated car we sleep in as often as not. At least it’s something to protect us from the weather that’s edging into brutal at night.
Just then, a family passes by as they head into the market. The boy, I’d guess he’s about my age, slows. “Everything cool?”
Return by Sea (Glacier Adventure Series Book 3) Page 1