“Then what’s with the spanking?” I demand as he draws me to my knees.
Running his nose between my folds, he murmurs, “That’s just to see how wet I can get you. The guys are going to try to beat the shit out of me for being a lucky bastard anyway. Might as well make it worth it.”
My laugh turns into a groan as Nick sinks two fingers in me as he wedges his broad shoulders beneath me and pulls my hips down to tongue at my clit before making my body burn and hum.
I can’t imagine a day without him, not anymore. And for today, I don’t have to.
Later that night as I head into work, I’m the one kissing him goodbye at the door. He murmurs, “I’ll leave the light on.”
“Jed used to say that.” I can’t help being shaken. How did Nick worm his way into my routine? And what am I going to do if he doesn’t stay?
Nick tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Did he?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Before he can open his mouth, I tug his hair I’m still holding in my hand. “I’ll try not to wake you up when I get in. After the way you woke me up this morning, I’m going to crawl into bed and pass out,” I lie. Likely I’ll do what I did the night before and the night before that—simply watch him sleep until he rolls over and realizes I’m there.
And draws me under him to fulfill my wildest fantasies.
“It’s not my fault you work past ten, Sunshine. Some of us need our beauty sleep.”
I burst out laughing before playfully shoving away. “Nick, if you were any more handsome, priests would have to accept certain kinds of sins. Now let me go so I can come home and creep up to bed.”
Nick makes a rude noise but kisses me soundly. It’s a kiss full of affection. “Drive safely,” he warns.
“Always do.” I wave as I head into the basement and through to the garage. But my smile slips as I slide into my SUV.
Reaching inside my black jumpsuit for the gold cross that rests there, I whisper, “Jed, what’s happening? What did I get myself into this time?” Since he doesn’t answer me, I open the garage door and back out.
Once I hit the street, I make a call. I know she’s expecting it since she answers on the first ring. “Well, well, well. Something to share?” Kara teases.
“Don’t make me cry; I’m driving,” I warn her.
“So you chose now to call me? That wasn’t the wisest of decisions.”
“Has any decision I’ve ever made been wise?”
Kara inhales deeply. “You stop that. You lived after so much pain when so many people would have just curled into themselves. I will never let you disparage yourself because you had a full life.”
“No, this is completely asinine.”
“What did you do?”
“I…”
“Maris,” Kara snaps.
“Kara, I fell in love.”
“God, Maris, you did that years ago.”
“It’s different. So, so different.”
Kara’s voice sharpens. “What do you mean?”
I begin to babble. “I didn’t expect it to happen like this. So strong, so fierce. I knew him, knew what he could do to my heart. I was so sure I could handle it. It shouldn’t have happened so quickly.”
“It happened years ago, or did you forget the last twenty years of your life?” she teases softly.
“Kara.” My breath shudders. “I may have to make a choice. How do I make a choice?”
“A choice about what?”
I fill her in on what Sarah said yesterday. I’m talking so quickly, I’m at the Brewhouse and parking before I know it. “How am I supposed to choose? I love them both.”
“There’s a part of me that wants to say love will overcome no matter what, but we live in reality.”
“Reality can suck my left tit,” I proclaim.
Kara chuckles, but there’s a vein of sadness beneath it. “There’s only one thing I can say, Maris. After everything Jennings and I went through, after finding our way back to one another. There’s only one certainty.”
“What’s that?”
“You shouldn’t have to choose between your child and the man you love. But life sometimes just gets it wrong, no matter how many times you throw wishes and pleas into the air.” We’re both quiet, remembering. When she speaks again, there’s a huskiness to her voice. “If that happens, come to me. My arms are waiting for you just like yours were for me.”
“Why do you have to live so damn far away?” The first time I said those words to her, I was dropping her off at the airport to fly home to Florida right after she found out she was pregnant with her son, a little over eighteen years ago. I’ve never meant them more than I do right now.
“I’m just a flight away.” Her exact words back to me.
“Or a few,” I retort.
“Better now. We don’t get charged an arm and a leg by the airline.”
I let out a watery laugh knowing Jennings would fly either of us in either direction if we needed each other. “Okay. I have to go.”
“One last thing?”
“What?”
“It’s your time to find a love as extraordinary as the one you wanted for me.” She disconnects the call in my ear.
In the car, with the summer light streaming through, I whisper, “Damn you,” because I’m still left with wondering whose love that is.
Nicholas
“Great news, Nick.” Reece smiles enormously as he lifts the bar back upward while he’s doing reps on the bench press. Oliver is spotting him and merely lifts his chin to acknowledge my presence, his eyes on the bar moving up and down from Reece’s slow-moving chest.
I drop my bag and shrug off my sweatshirt before heading over to the jump rope. Quickly getting into rhythm, I ask, “Oh? What’s that?”
Reece finishes with his last rep and with Oliver’s help reracks the bar. He sits up before he announces, “Talked with my gran last night. Turns out, we were doing the same thing for each other. She’s been wanting to move to somewhere warmer for years but was afraid of hurtin’ me by sayin’ so. She has some friends who RV but made Albuquerque their winter home base. She’s all in.”
I grin. “That’s great news.”
“So, when do we go?” Reece demands excitedly.
“Go?” I ask blankly.
“Head to Albuquerque?” His voice is eager.
My mind completely blanks so much so that an exercise routine I’ve performed over and over daily trips me up. Literally. The jump rope winds its way around my ankles, and as I pull back, Oliver yells, “Look out.”
But it’s too late. I go flying face forward toward the mats like one of the untried kids at Razor.
And as I’m falling, thoughts flash through my mind: Razor, work, and the most important one. Maris.
Even as my body crashes down hard, I know in my heart she won’t turn her back on me just because I have to go home to do my job. I roll to avoid the jarring impact, cursing.
“Nick, you trying to show Reece why we bring in a dance instructor to Razor to work with the athletes?” Oliver calls out.
“Asshole.” I throw him the finger to enhance my point before untwining the jump rope from my ankles. “But yes, that is something we do.”
“I can’t wait.” And now that the worry is gone, there’s nothing but excitement in Reece’s voice.
“How long will it take you to get everything settled?” While this guy needs to be at our camp training, my heart is aching in my chest. Please let him give me some outrageous date so I don’t have to have this conversation with Maris soon, I beg silently.
“How does two weeks sound?”
“Because if you need…that soon?”
“Technically, the house we live in belongs to my parents,” Reece explains. “So, after we made our decision yesterday, I called them and told them our plans. All we have to do is pack and find a flight.”
“Don’t worry about that,” I hear Oliver tell him through a fog. “Razor covers all your
moving costs.”
Two weeks.
On one hand, I’ll be out of Alaska, but I’ll be leaving Maris for an untold period of time. I don’t know how long it will be until she can wrap things up and join me in Albuquerque. Assuming she wants to, a little voice inside me prods. But I shove that niggling doubt aside. We love each other. What is there to hold us back?
Right?
From my sitting position on the floor, I begin making plans for who Reece should train with first. Tatum, absolutely. Even though Tatum’s climbing the ladder steadily, it will do him some good to have some in-house competition. Besides, despite the fact he’s a weight class lower than Reece, his ground game is unparalleled. Briefly, I wonder how Reece will feel having his ass kicked by one of our women fighters?
“Shit, you’re fucked,” Oliver cackles. I don’t even acknowledge him as I imagine how quickly Veronika would be able to take this behemoth down.
“What? What’s going on?” Reece worries.
“Nick’s face?”
“Yeah?’
“That’s his ‘he’s planning your training’ face.”
“So? What’s wrong with that?”
“I’ll ask you that in about a month when your ass has been handed to you by a woman,” Oliver predicts.
Reece scoffs. “Right.”
I decide then to put Reece in the ring with Veronika first thing. Clapping my hands together, I push myself to my feet. “Okay. If you two have the workout here under control, I’m going to head back to my place to make some plans. The sooner we get things started, the sooner we’re back home.”
The sooner I can show Maris my home, I think to myself.
Reece walks over and holds out a hand. “Thank you for taking this chance on me, Nick.”
“You’ll earn it, Reece. So, the thanks are ours for putting your trust in Ollie, in Razor, and in yourself.”
He smiles, and immediately my brain remembers, media kit. Shit, I need my computer pronto.
Six hours later, I have first-class tickets booked for Reece, his grandmother, and Oliver out of Juneau in ten days. It’s a shorter timeline than I originally intended, but after checking with Reece, he said it’s one they can make work. “Like I said earlier, Nick, we just have a few things to pack.”
“Right. About that. A moving company will be here in six days. Make certain Ollie is aware you’ll be supervising them and that’s your day off training. They have about an eighteen-hour window to get whatever you need packed and in a shipping container. Make certain you have enough clothes and gear for you and stuff for your grandmother for about two weeks.”
The silence on the other end of the line was so absolute, I was certain the call was disconnected. “Hello?” I prompted.
“This is better than winning the lottery because that’s a fantasy. This is real.” His words strike a chord deep inside of me.
“No, kid. This is better because you worked for it. You’ll never take it for granted. Now, you have my number. Get a pen.”
There’s some scrambling on the other end before, “Got it.”
I rattle off Charmaine’s office and cell. “That’s my assistant, Charmaine. She runs all our lives. Make sure you have those numbers in your phone, and when she calls, you answer them. I don’t care what you’re doing—unless it’s helping your grandmother.” I make a mental note to email Charmaine about Reece’s grandmother in the event she needs to change the long-term housing to accommodate her needs.
“Got it. Never forget Charmaine.”
“Oh, and Reece?”
“Yeah?”
“Learn to not curse around her now.”
“Who? Gran? I don’t do that.” He sounds affronted.
“No, I mean Charmaine. You’ll owe her a whack. And right now, you’re not making the kind of money she charges for cursing.”
I hang up in the middle of his laughter.
After a follow-up email to my assistant, I flip back over to the airline’s website. I can stretch out my time here probably an additional week with Maris. Maybe two. I close the page down, just as the garage door opens. At the same time, the front door opens, and I hear Brad, Rainey, and their kids shrieking laughter.
“Nick?” Maris voice precedes her up the stairs. “Did you get my texts? Brad and Rainey are here for dinner. They brought burgers.”
“I’ll be right down. Just working on some email!” I shout back.
“Okay, honey. We’ll be outside by the grill. Take your time.” Maris turns and heads down the stairs.
Just then, an email pops into my box from Charmaine.
Got it, Nick! Oliver picked a real winner. Excited about Reece.
10-4 on his grandmother. I’ll make sure they’re comfortable.
Looking forward to you being back. Things run smoother when you’re here.
~C
There’s only one part of me that won’t run smoother when I’m there, I think as I close down my laptop. Not anymore.
And that’s my heart.
“Maris, you knew Dean well, right?” Brad asks after dinner while we’re lounging around the Smiths’ backyard much like we used to do in the old days.
“Not as well as Kara, but yes. He was fabulous,” Maris replies while leaning into the arm I have wrapped around her.
“Will you tell us about him?” Rainey whips her head toward her husband, who shrugs. “I’ve always wanted to ask, but I was afraid to ask Kara. And I’m sure Jennings now knows, but he’s never shared.”
“Bradley Meyers, maybe because talking about Dean means talking about Jed. And maybe Maris isn’t ready!” Rainey snaps.
“Shit. Crap. I’m sorry, Maris,” Brad immediately apologizes.
“Don’t ever apologize to me for wanting to talk to me about my brother.” Maris’s voice is strong. “I’m just surprised you guys are so dense.”
“I mean, I didn’t mean to bring up… What?” Brad shouts.
Rainey falls into him laughing.
I squeeze Maris’s shoulder as my own begin to shake. “Thanks for the compliment, my love.”
“Not a problem. Come on, Brad. You didn’t put together the fact Jed said Dean was the epitome of all the things he was searching for about love? My brother refused to settle for anything in this life—that included the man he fell for as well as the quality of his friends.” Maris tips her beer in his direction and mine before she takes a long pull.
Brad’s head bows, and although I lift my drink in return, there’s no way I can swallow any of it.
“But if you want to know about Dean specifically, I’ll tell you a secret none of you know.” Maris leans toward the center of the table.
We all lean in, anxious.
“Did you know the Jacks all actually met him?”
“Bullshit,” I exclaim.
“What he said.” Brad points at me.
“You all were on your last reunion. And groceries were delivered by a man who wore a ball cap, jeans, and a long-sleeve T-shirt.” Maris sits back and waits for our reaction.
“No fucking way. Why didn’t Jed say anything?” I demand.
“Because my brother was flying from Montana to Juneau after the reunion. Dean came with him. Dean wanted the chance to check out the men who were closest to his husband.”
“Why?” Brad interjects.
Maris’s lips curve, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Because the next week they were here, Jed redid his will. And Dean helped advocate on a certain man’s behalf for one codicil of it. Dean wanted the chance to see Jennings in person so he could make a decision on whether or not to give his blessing to Jed’s machinations.”
I suck in an enormous breath. “He did that just by delivering groceries?”
“I do believe he was around long enough to put them away. Do you remember what conversations you all might have had?”
It’s been years since that trip, but Brad whispers, “We talked about regrets. We were on the porch with Jed talking about if we had any regret
s in our life.”
And like a flash, I recall what I said. I regret running away. Maybe if I hadn’t, so many things would have been different. What about you, Jennings?
I regret not picking up the phone. There was one call I regret not answering. Jed?
“It was maybe a five-minute conversation,” I choke out.
“I’ve never met a more intuitive man than Dean Malone. He loved, and when he did, he did it fiercely. He was a damn hero, saving Kara long before he ever saved anyone as a fireman. His calmness complemented the storm that always surrounded Jed. He was gorgeous in the way that make people blush, but he never saw looks. He saw souls. He never lied. And he was beloved by anyone who met him.” Maris takes a moment to wipe her eyes. “I was so wary of him, despite him being Kara’s brother. After all, no man could be this perfect. Ever.”
Maris’s words, while bringing Jed’s husband to life, bring me to my knees. I’ve never been that kind of man for her, to her. And she deserves a love just like her brother had. But I love her selfishly, and I refuse to let her go.
“He wore me down over time. And he became a perfect older brother—protective and loving. But while he was perfect for Jed, I never want a man that perfect.” She grins at a captive Brad and Rainey before turning her head to the side and pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Obviously.”
And like a prisoner freed from long captivity, I seek the one thing I haven’t had freely in eons.
Sunshine.
I yank Maris into my arms and press my lips to hers for a kiss that declares more than just my feelings. It declares my relief. When I let her up, we find Rainey and Brad kissing each other through their hands like they’re five-year-olds on the playground.
Deadpan, I say, “That explains so much about your kids.”
Rainey reaches for a hamburger roll and tosses it at my head.
“Maris, do you have pictures?” Brad asks even as I duck and the bun flies over my head.
“Oh, do I ever. Let me go get them. Just be forewarned, their joint bachelor party was at a drag cabaret show in Jacksonville. And I got pictures of Jed up on stage.”
I choke on the drink of my beer I’d just taken. “In costume? Christ. He already looked like a deranged lunatic. These I have to see.”
Return by Sea (Glacier Adventure Series Book 3) Page 21