Drunk Driving

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Drunk Driving Page 10

by Zane Mitchell


  Al’s head bobbed. “Now that’s using your head. Good thinkin’, kid.”

  I got out of the van and went around and opened up the back. I pulled out the bag of supplies we’d purchased at the plumbing supply store and then stepped back onto the sidewalk, adjusting the tool bag on my hip.

  A tall, muscular guy with a narrow waist was walking up the sidewalk towards us. He had his cell phone pressed against his ear. I recognized him immediately, mostly because he reminded me of a dark-haired version of Johnny Bravo. I’d seen the guy the day before, when he’d decided I should be lying facedown on the pavement as opposed to sitting on a barstool inside.

  “Shit,” I barked, swiveling sideways to give him my profile.

  Al’s eyes flicked up to look out the windshield. “What?”

  I nodded my head towards the man. “That’s the same guy that bounced me off the pavement yesterday. Do I look different enough without my hat and beard?”

  Al looked me up and down. “You’re wearing coveralls and a tool bag, kid. You look like a plumber.”

  “Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Did I look like a plumber yesterday?”

  “Were you wearing coveralls and a pipe wrench on your hip yesterday?”

  “So you’re saying I look different?”

  Al threw out his hands. “Of course I’m saying you look different. Jeez. Do I have to spell it out?”

  I stared at Al then. He didn’t look much different, except that he was wearing coveralls and I’d put a baseball cap on him to cover up his baldness. I could only hope that the guy wouldn’t recognize either of us. “Hey, Al, do me a favor. Let me do the talking. Stay behind me, alright?”

  “Yeah, sure, kid. Whatever flushes your tank.”

  “Whatever flushes my tank?” I lifted a brow. “Is that another one of your granddad jokes?”

  Al waved a hand at me as the bouncer stopped in front of Club Cobalt’s front door to unlock it. “It’s plumbing lingo, kid. We gotta sound like the real deal.”

  I rolled my eyes and walked over to the guy opening the club up. “Hey, uh, we’re here to fix the toilet,” I said, unintentionally deepening my voice.

  The guy spoke into his phone. “Hang on, babe.” Then he turned to look at me. “You’re shittin’ me.” He said it flatly, with dull eyes before cocking his head backwards towards the street. “Pretty sure the van was a dead giveaway.”

  I glanced back at Al, who was climbing out of the passenger’s seat but had his head lowered slightly. “Oh, uh, yeah. Right. We’ll be out of your hair as soon as we can.”

  The bouncer nodded and put the phone back up to his ear but held the door open with the toe of his boot. Even though I could only hear his side of the conversation, it was apparent that he was getting chewed out by his woman. “Look, babe, I’ve got a plumbing emergency to deal with down at the club.… I told you I’d be there.… Your mother isn’t always right, you know.…”

  Standing there awkwardly, I finally pointed towards the club. “I’ll just be in here.”

  He nodded and waved me on. As he strolled away from the door, I looked back at Al, who had just slammed the van door shut. Catching his eye, I shot him a hurry up look.

  He shot me back his this is as fast as I go look.

  Seconds later, the two of us stood in the middle of Club Cobalt, smelling like dead mackerel and wondering how we were going to weasel our way into the boss’s office without Johnny Bravo noticing. I could only hope that his woman was the windy sort. “Come on, Al, we don’t have much time. That bouncer could be back any second.”

  We’d just started for the set of double swinging doors to the back hallway when Mr. Bravo joined us in the club. He shook his head at us and waved us over to the other side of the bar. “Nah, guys. The head’s over here.” He led us towards the bathroom by the stage.

  I nodded. “Oh, right.”

  On the way to the bathroom, the guy waved his hand in the air, fanning his face. He stopped and looked back at me. “You two smell like the devil. Do you always smell like that?”

  “Oh, we were, uh, responding to a sewage emergency before this. Had to crawl through some pretty nasty stuff.”

  His nose wrinkled and he frowned while he held a hand up to his nose and mouth. “That stinks, literally.”

  I shrugged. “All part of the job. You know, if you’d rather wait for us outside—”

  Johnny Bravo seemed not to hear my offer. “So, you guys gonna be long?” He glanced down at his watch.

  “Depends on the problem,” said Al. “If we gotta bust up the floor and lay new pipe, it could be awhile.”

  The guy’s shoulders slumped as he grimaced.

  “You got somewhere else you need to be?” I adjusted my tool bag.

  He groaned. “Eh, my lady’s pissed because I’m supposed to meet her and her mother for lunch,” he admitted with an uncomfortable nod. “I was hoping maybe we’d be in and out of here in a few minutes.”

  Al shook his head. “Oh, there’s no way we’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  I nodded in agreement. “This is gonna take at least an hour for sure. Maybe longer.”

  The guy groaned. “Shit.”

  “Look, we know what we’re doing. We’re professionals,” I assured him. I pointed at Al. “I mean, look at this guy. He’s been plumbing since the invention of the outhouse.”

  Al’s torso leaned back so he could look up at me with a somber face.

  “What I’m trying to say is we don’t need a babysitter. Just go have lunch. By the time you come back, we’ll be done.”

  The security guard lowered his head. “I appreciate the offer, but nah, the boss’ll be pissed if he finds out I didn’t stick around.”

  I made a face. “Who’s gonna tell the boss? I know I’d never mention it to anyone. I tell you what. What time do you guys open?”

  “Noon.”

  “We’re charging you for an hour of labor one way or the other. It’s our minimum service call fee. So we’ll stick around until noon. You make it back by then and you’ll be square with the boss. He’ll never even know you stepped out.”

  The guy thought about it for a long moment and then finally smiled. “You know what? You two seem like a couple of trustworthy fellows. I think I’ll take you up on that deal.” He got serious again and pointed a finger at us. “You touch the alcohol or anything else besides the plumbing and I’ll break every bone in your body. Got it?”

  “Considering that I can’t afford the hospital bill for something like that, I think I’ll keep my hands to myself,” I promised, holding both hands up and giving him my best winning smile.

  “Great. I really just need to make an appearance, you know, punch my card. I’ll do my best to get back here a little early. Hey, thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

  “Hey, no problem.” I extended a hand to Mr. Bravo.

  He looked down at it with a wrinkled nose, as if my hand was covered in the Ebola virus. Instead of shaking it, he gave me a little bump with his elbow. “Alrighty, fellas. See you soon.”

  When we heard the lock click behind us, I was finally able to relax a little. “Well, that worked out. Thank God.” Letting out a sigh, I looked over at Al.

  “And what was your brilliant plan if he hadn’t gotten a call and had to leave?”

  I shrugged. “Getting into the building was as far as I’d gotten.”

  “Seriously, kid? You gotta be two steps ahead at all times.” Al shook his head as if he were disappointed in me and started walking around the bar again.

  I followed after him. “Are you kidding me? I was the one that got us the van and the overalls. I was the one that called yesterday and ordered the logo for the van. I made the appointment to have someone let us in. What have you done?”

  Al stopped and shuffled around in a circle to look at me. “I told you the john was broken. If I hadn’t told you that, we wouldn’t even be here.”

  “You want credit for discovering the fucking john was plugged?
” I looked at him incredulously. I shook my head. “You want credit for breathing too?”

  “At my age? I think I deserve credit for that, yes. Now come on. We have work to do.”

  16

  I turned on the flashlight on my phone to find the light switch to the back hallway. Once the lights were on, Al led me to the row of photos he’d seen on his way to the bathroom the day before. There were at least a dozen framed pictures, all of young girls wearing little or nothing.

  Al pointed at the one he’d seen of Monica Arndt. “Here she is.”

  I looked at her closely. Her hair was dyed blond in the photograph, but it was most definitely Monica. I’d recognize those legs anywhere. “It’s her alright. But she looks younger.” All of the pictures were taken against a simple white backdrop, like they’d all been taken in the same studio. I wondered if that wasn’t the same place that Giselle and Jordan had been taken. Maybe if we could find the photographer, we’d be able to find the location. I pointed at a watermark in the lower right-hand corner of the picture. “Joseph Ayala Photography,” I said.

  “Oh, good eye,” said Al, nodding and holding his glasses so he could read the nearly imperceptible typeface. “I didn’t notice that before.”

  “If we can track down this photographer, maybe he’ll be able to tell us more about what’s going on at Club Cobalt.”

  Al patted my shoulder. “Hey, uh, you got the investigation under control, don’tcha, kid? I think it’s time to check out the john.”

  I stared at him. “We’re not really here to fix the plumbing, Al. That was just our cover story to get in.”

  Al patted his stomach. “I wasn’t planning to fix it. I was planning to destroy it, if you catch my drift.”

  I wanted to groan, but instead I just let out a sigh. “Just don’t take forever. Our bouncer friend could come back at any moment.”

  Al nodded and shuffled down the hall to the bathroom.

  While I stood comparing watermarks on the pictures, I suddenly became cognizant of the fact that there was absolutely no air movement in the hallway. Not only was I starting to get really hot, but the combined smell of my sweat mixed with the smell of my fishy coveralls and the stagnant air really started to get to me. I felt nauseous and suddenly claustrophobic.

  “Ugh,” I groaned to myself. “I don’t know how the Cruz brothers do it. I can’t take this smell anymore.” I unzipped the onesie and let it fall to the floor. Stepping out of it, I kicked it over to a corner, making a mental note not to leave it behind when we left.

  Putting my shirt up over my nose, I wandered down to a doorway at the end of the hallway. I remembered Giselle describing her trip to Club Cobalt and how they’d had to pay the manager, Vito, a visit. I wondered if it wasn’t Vito’s office on the other side of the door. I turned the knob slowly, surprised to find it unlocked, and pushed it open. I stuck my head inside and found the room dark.

  “Hello?” When I got no response, I pushed the door open further.

  With no exterior windows to provide any light, the room was almost completely dark. I flicked on the light to find a pretty bare office. There was a basic grey metal desk in the middle of the office with a computer on it. A worn brown sofa and a coffee table sat on one side of the room and a big wooden armoire on the other side. Behind me, on the wall over my head, was a row of television screens. I assumed that was the club’s security monitors. I was happy to see that they were switched off. I could only hope it wasn’t still recording.

  Vito’s desk was fairly cleared off, except for the sticky notes posted all over the place. Pick up Gio’s shoes was scrawled across one blue sticky note and stuck to the monitor. Milk, butter, flour, eggs, chorizo, read another note and was stuck to his desk planner. Dinner Miriam 8pm read a third. On and on they went. The guy had an obsession with sticky notes. I was surprised there weren’t notes that said don’t forget to blink and remember to breathe. I flicked on his computer monitor and a password-protected screen popped up.

  Damn.

  I opened the drawers in the desk, hoping maybe the password would be written on a sticky note inside, but found no such treasure. Really, there wasn’t much to see. One drawer had files of club business in it. Receipts. Liquor invoices. Employee files. The top drawer just had pens and pencils, an engraved Zippo lighter that read Vito, you light my fire! Love, Miriam, a tube of cherry Chapstick, a key to something, and a pair of gold cufflinks engraved with the initials PGC and encrusted with chipped red rubies and diamonds.

  Shutting the drawer, I walked over and opened the armoire to find it full of lingerie and other sexy little numbers. I shook my head, whispering to myself, “Vito, Vito, Vito. Does Miriam know?”

  Then I noticed a garbage can just beside the armoire. I got down on one knee and picked through the crumpled waste. More sticky notes ranging from grocery lists to a reminder to pick his car up from the shop were crumpled up inside. I frowned. Nothing helpful. And then at the bottom of the can, I noticed a crumpled-up slip of white paper. I pulled it out and unfolded it to see an invitation to the private party at Club Cobalt. It was the exact same invitation I’d found in Jordan’s room.

  Even though it didn’t tell me much, I shoved the little slip of paper in my pocket. Maybe I’d be able to use it to at least prove to the cops that something was up if I needed to.

  And then, out of nowhere, I felt a pair of arms thrust under my armpits. It happened so fast that they had time to snake back around to the back of my head, putting me in a full-nelson headlock. I was immediately yanked into a standing position. Unable to move my head, I stood slightly stooped, like a ragdoll, held up only by the will of the person behind me. I was forced to spin around, and though I couldn’t see my puppet master, a stocky guy with dark greasy hair and a flat nose stood in front of me.

  “Who the fuck are you? And what are you doing in here?”

  A momentary blitz of panic sent my pulse pounding through my veins. “Oh, hey, fellas. How’s it going? I’m the plumber,” I said, wishing like hell I hadn’t taken my overalls off. I held my hands up as the stocky guy took an offensive step towards me, fists balled. “I’m here to fix the toilet! I swear!” I hollered.

  “Didn’t look like you were fixing a toilet to me.” The stocky guy shoved his fist into my gut then, knocking all the air out of my lungs and instantaneously rendering me unable to breathe.

  “I’m the plumber,” I reiterated in an outward gasp as my eyes rolled back in my head and my knees went weak.

  “There ain’t no reason for a plumber to be snoopin’ around in here,” said the stocky guy.

  The bouncer tightened his grip around the back of my head, widening my shoulders and making my arms flail out more all while I struggled to suck in oxygen.

  “I was throwing something away—” I gasped, now forced to stand up straighter.

  My eyes widened as the stocky guy balled his hand into a fist and pulled back. I closed my eyes, preparing to take a hit to the face, when I heard a toilet flush. My eyes popped open to see stocky guy’s head now turned. We both saw the bathroom door open, and Al appeared in the hallway with the pipe wrench slung over his shoulder.

  “Where ya at, kid? There ain’t nothing wrong with that toilet. It’s working just fine.” He looked both ways down the hallway until he caught sight of me in Vito’s office.

  We made eye contact and through a single blink, I thanked him for coming to my rescue when he did. “See?” I managed to whisper, looking at Vito again. “I told you. We’re here to fix your toilet. We got a call. Go look. My van’s out front.”

  Stocky guy frowned and then gave a nod to his accomplice, who promptly unlocked his grip behind my head. I felt the weight of my body return to my feet. I rubbed the ache out of my shoulders as they were let back down into their normal position.

  “Thanks a lot,” I grunted, turning to see that my puppet master was none other than one of the two guards that had kicked me out the day before and Johnny Bravo’s partner. I kept my h
ead tilted downwards slightly, hoping he wouldn’t recognize me.

  “Just because you’re the plumber don’t change the fact that you’re not supposed to be in here,” grunted the stocky guy. “My office is off-limits.”

  So it was official—I’d met Vito. I nodded. “I was looking for another bathroom.”

  He pursed his lips and pointed down the hallway. “The broken john’s over by the stage.” He gave his bouncer a head nod. “Andre, show these two jokers to the other bathroom.”

  Andre nodded and gave me a shove from behind as I started towards the hallway.

  I turned to look at him, giving him a bit of a pout. “Watch it.” I bent over and grabbed my coveralls from the floor.

  “Oh, hey,” called Vito, seated at the desk in his office now. “How’d you get into the building?”

  I glanced down at Al.

  Al hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “A different big guy let us in.”

  “Cal? Where’d he go?”

  “We were out of plumbing tape,” said Al. “He offered to go grab some for us so we could get started.”

  “Good employee you got there,” I added.

  Even though Vito looked puzzled, it seemed to satisfy him. “Huh. Okay.”

  Andre walked us out of the back hallway and across the club to the stage. He pointed to the bathroom that Johnny Bravo had shown us earlier. “We open in a half hour. This needs to be wrapped up by then.”

  “A half hour?” I bellowed. “You’re kidding me? Why in the heck didn’t someone call us to come in sooner? There’s no way we’ll be outta here by then.” I looked down at Al. “I guess we’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

  Andre shrugged. He didn’t care. He wasn’t using the broken toilet; he had an employee bathroom to use that worked fine. “Suit yourself. You can call the bar and set up a time.”

 

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