Howie pulled Matthew up and passionately kissed him before Howie descended into the reddish tangle of hair on Matthew’s chest and reciprocated. The jolt of electricity that shot from Matthew’s nipples to his cock caught the big man by surprise. He roared with pleasure.
After a time of mutually pleasuring each other in this manner, Matthew stood up. He pressed his forehead against Howie’s and looked down at the tenting in Howie’s shorts. Breaking the contact between them, Matthew reached down and unbuckled Howie’s belt, released the button, and unzipped the shorts. He pushed them from Howie’s hips, and they slid to the floor. Matthew took hold of Howie’s hard cock through the soft cotton of his briefs. He could feel the moistness of Howie’s pre-cum soaking through the cloth. He leaned back and looked into Howie’s eyes.
Howie smiled. Matthew returned the smile as Howie began to undo Matthew’s shorts as well. They stood for several moments massaging each other. Then Matthew pulled Howie against him and thrilled at the feeling of Howie’s dick against his.
Letting his hands drift down, Matthew began to knead Howie’s firm butt, as he and Howie began a rhythmic, undulating motion. Each new experience of sexual expression released indescribable waves of pleasure that washed over Matthew’s body and drove any thoughts of shame, guilt, or hesitancy from his mind. Nothing mattered except this man, being near him, experiencing him and his sexuality.
Removing their shoes, they stepped out of their shorts, leaving them lying on the floor. “Is the bedroom this way?” Matthew asked.
Howie nodded.
Matthew took Howie’s hand and led him down the short hall and into the bedroom. They stood facing each other next to the bed. Howie pushed off his briefs, then lay down on his back on the bed, his hard cock lying on his stomach pointing to his navel.
Matthew’s breath caught in his throat. He could feel his pulse in his temples as well as in his throbbing dick. He pushed his briefs to the floor and let out a shuddering breath. Then he crawled up onto the bed and kneeled on all fours over Howie.
Howie raised his hips, bringing his cock close to Matthew’s. Matthew slowly lowered his body until he was stretched out on top of Howie, their cocks trapped between them, their lips pressed together, their tongues coiling and uncoiling around each other. Matthew initiated a slow rhythmic thrusting which Howie matched, wrapping his legs around Matthew’s body.
Kisses became more ardent, thrusting became more urgent. Before Matthew could even think of what was happening, waves of inexplicable pleasure cascaded through his body and boiled over in an explosion of emotion and sensation. His balls emptied and volleys of warm ejaculate washed over Howie’s abdomen. Howie responded in kind, and soon the two men lay together, trembling with post orgasmic pleasure as the warm afterglow spread through their bodies.
Matthew rolled onto his side, pulling Howie with him so they lay facing each other. Matthew stared into Howie’s eyes and gently brushed his damp hair off his forehead.
“You okay?” Howie asked.
Matthew didn’t know. And at that moment, didn’t care. He didn’t want reality to invade this space. He merely nodded and pulled Howie into a tender kiss. The words I love you, formed in his mind but remained unexpressed as something in the deep recesses of Matthew’s psyche issued an almost imperceptible warning. Matthew pulled Howie even closer and kissed him deeply, again trying to silence the voice that sought to intrude on this moment of bliss.
Sometime later as he held Howie against his chest, he said, “I should go.”
“Do you have to?” Howie asked.
Matthew nodded while at the same time rebelling at the thought.
“The car’s borrowed. I have to get it back to my friend Carl.”
Howie sighed.
“But I could call and see if he needs it.”
Howie didn’t say anything, just snuggled closer to Matthew.
Matthew got up, left the room, and retrieved his phone from his shorts. He repressed the small voice within him that tried to wave little red flags, Matthew scrolled through his contacts, and poked Carl’s number on speed dial. Carl answered almost immediately.
Matthew sat on the edge of Howie’s bed. Howie sat up and leaned against his back, softly kissing Matthew’s shoulders.
“Hey, Carl. Uh—something’s come up. Would it be okay if I got the car back tomorrow morning?”
“Jesus, yes! Finally! Who’s the lucky bastard?”
Matthew turned to look at Howie and smiled. “Uh—nobody you know.”
“Well, whoever he is, give him one for me. No rush on the car.”
“Thanks, Carl”
“No problem. Have fun! God! Finally!” Carl said with a laugh.
They hung up.
Howie lay back down and opened his arms. “Come ‘ere, you.”
Matthew put the phone on the nightstand. He lay back down and slid down beside Howie. Matthew put his arms around Howie and pulled him close.
Matthew, this is a big mistake!
Shut up! Matthew told the voice in his head and kissed Howie.
Chapter 10
Howie lay on his side beside Matthew, propped up on an elbow looking down at the sleeping man. Matthew lay on his back, one arm over his head, the other resting on his stomach just below his navel. His mouth was open slightly. He was snoring softly. His beautiful cock was hard.
A thrill of joy spread through Howie. Was this really happening? Or was it just too good to be true? Had Howie imagined Matthew’s intense response to their lovemaking the night before? Was this the kismet Ernie had talked about? Howie hoped so.
Howie reached out and tentatively ran his hand over the tangled hair on Matthew’s chest. Matthew moaned softly and stretched. He didn’t open his eyes, and his soft snores continued. No, Howie concluded. Matthew wanted this as much as Howie did.
But he must be careful. Matthew must take the lead. Whatever was to develop had to come at Matthew’s pace. Howie sensed whatever it was that had kept Matthew from experiencing love and a physical relationship, Matthew needed to resolve it on his own. Howie shouldn’t push. He must let Matthew work it out. When he looked down at Matthew’s swollen organ that lay nestled in the dense patch of reddish hair, however, he decided a little nudge in the right direction wouldn’t hurt.
Howie let his hand travel slowly down Matthew’s torso until it reached his erection. Once there, he traced the veins on the shaft with a finger and ran it around the flared crest of the head. Matthew moaned softly.
Had there ever been a phallus as beautiful as this? The need to have this man inside him was almost overwhelming. Howie lowered his head. Opening his mouth, he slid his lips over the glans and down the rigid shaft, tonguing the column of tissue that ran along the tender underside. He cupped Matthew’s balls with one hand.
Matthew let out a little gasp and raised his hips, pressing Howie’s face into his thick pubic bush and thrusting his cock deeper into Howie’s throat. Howie felt Matthew’s hand on the back of his head.
Howie began to bob his head. Matthew matched his rhythm thrusting and relaxing in time. Howie could taste the pre-cum that flowed from the slit. Soon Matthew tensed, his legs going rigid. Simultaneously he pressed harder on Howie’s head, thrust his hips even higher, forcing his cock deeper into Howie’s throat as he groaned, “Oh, God! God!” His cock throbbed, and streams of his cum coursed into Howie’s mouth and down his throat.
Howie swallowed every last bit, relishing the feel and taste, as well as the emotional high of having the essence of Matthew inside him. He knew this moment could only be surpassed when the men united completely, whenever that time was to be.
Before the intensity subsided and the post orgasmic mellowness began, Howie raised up, turned, and straddled Matthew’s chest, Howie’s pulsing erection pointing directly at Matthew’s mouth.
As if by instinct, Matthew took Howie completely into him. Gagging slightly, he forced Howie’s cock deep into his mouth. He wrapped his arms around Howie, massaging and kne
ading the man’s firm, round ass.
Howie began a fucking motion, which Matthew tried to mimic. Within seconds, Howie was moaning Matthew’s name and shooting cum into the man who was capturing his very soul.
Matthew did his best to swallow what was his first load of cum, gagging and choking as he did.
Only when Howie was completely spent did he allow himself to slide down into Matthew’s strong embrace. A deep kiss followed, and as the afterglow of the act set in, Matthew whispered—more to himself than Howie, it seemed—”Can this really be happening?”
The utterance echoed Howie’s words from earlier that morning as he had lain gazing down at Matthew. Howie pulled Matthew into another deep kiss, trying to communicate through it all the love he was feeling for the man.
Chapter 11
He’s in love with me, Matthew thought as he leaned back onto the pillows and smiled up into Howie’s face as they broke the kiss. I could feel it in his kiss. And I love him. Could he feel it, too? Oh, God, what am I going to do?
Howie lay down beside him, nuzzling Matthew’s chest. Howie took a deep breath, as if he were going to say something.
Don’t say it, Matthew thought almost in a panic. Please, Howie, don’t say it. I won’t know what to do if you say it. If you say it, you’ll expect me to. If I say it out loud it’ll make it worse. Please don’t!
Thankfully, Howie said nothing. He just played idly with Matthew’s chest hairs and nipples. Matthew relaxed.
So, here he was—in bed with a man and in love with him. As Matthew lay there trying to sort it out, he realized he’d allowed it to go this far not only for the sex, but for another need he’d been unaware he’d had or had been repressing all along: the need for a mutual love between two people.
But wasn’t his love for God and the church supposed to fill that need? Wasn’t that what the call to the priesthood was supposed to be about? He didn’t want to think about that right now. Matthew just wanted to hold Howie and love him.
“Do you believe in God?”
Howie’s question jolted Matthew. “What?”
“I asked if you believed in God.” Howie repeated, sitting up and looking at Matthew.
“Why would you ask me that right now?” Matthew replied, trying to sound casual.
Howie lay back down and resumed his stroking of Matthew’s chest. “Because I wasn’t sure I did anymore—until right now.”
Matthew reached up and ran a hand over Howie’s head.
“You see,” Howie went on, “I was brought up in a very Catholic family. Madonna and Child of Prague niches in the corners of nearly every room, Sacred Heart of Jesus icons and crucifixes everywhere, Catholic school, communion every day, mass every Sunday and feast day without fail.
But by the time I was in college I pretty much figured it was a bunch of hooey. I never really saw that it made my folks any happier. They fought all the time. I never saw any prayers answered. My dog died even though I prayed to God to save him. It all seemed to be ritual and the priests laying guilt trips on you.”
“And now?” Matthew asked hesitantly.
“I’ve never told this to anyone. Shit, Ernie and Kelly would freak after all the crap they’ve heard me say about the church. But every night I say a prayer from the Catholic book of prayer that love will come into my life. And now it has.”
Howie sat up again and kissed Matthew, then asked, “Do you think that’s nuts?”
All Matthew could think to say was, “God works in mysterious ways.”
“I guess you’re right,” Howie said happily as he lay down, turned his back to Matthew, and snuggled against him.
Matthew kissed the top of Howie’s head. Now was his chance to come clean. Howie had opened the door. But he couldn’t. What could he say? Oh, by the way, Howie, I’m thinking of becoming a priest. How does that strike you?
No, he wouldn’t say anything, not until he figured out what to do. He didn’t want to say something that would break the spell.
For now he would let himself enjoy being with Howie and seeing where it all led. If God had really answered Howie’s prayers, then God would show Matthew the way as well. He held Howie even tighter. Show me the way, Lord, he prayed silently.
Chapter 12
“Yeah, we’ve been out every night since he slept over a couple weeks ago,” Howie was telling Kelly and Ernie.
“Is he a good fuck?” Kelly asked.
Howie ignored him. “We’ve been out to dinner, the movies, spent time just talking. He even surprised me the other day and showed up at the animal shelter to volunteer.”
“So, I take it you haven’t fucked yet.”
“Is that all you think about?” Ernie chided Kelly. “There’s more to a relationship than that.”
“And how long did you wait to fuck Todd?” Kelly countered.
“That’s beside the point,” Ernie returned. “Everybody’s got to do it in their own way.”
“Ain’t natural to not fuck once you’ve gone this far. There’s something not right if you’re not screwing each other,” Kelly said firmly.
“We’re taking it slow, letting things develop. Sort of like saving it for your wedding night,” Howie said defensively.
“Ha! I tell you if he ain’t chomping at the bit to fuck you, there’s something going on that he don’t want you to know about, believe me.” Kelly picked up his vodka martini.
“Speaking of things you don’t want people to know about, what’s going on with you and Jerome, Kelly?” Howie asked, winking at Ernie.
Kelly snorted and choked on his drink. “J-J-Jerome?”
“Yeah, Jerome,” Ernie chimed in. “That cute little twink you picked up at the Pick-n-Play at the beginning of summer.”
“And been seeing ever since.” Howie added.
“You’re nuts,” Kelly said. “I ain’t seen him since that night!”
Howie and Ernie gave each other knowing looks, crossed their arms over their chests, and looked back at Kelly with wry smiles on their faces.
“What makes you think I’m seeing him?” Kelly asked.
“First of all, you haven’t mentioned a single conquest in the last few weeks, and you always like to brag about the fresh butts you’ve banged,” Ernie said.
Kelly frowned.
“And the other night you got a phone call. Your caller ID said it was from Jerome. You jumped up and ran like it was a grenade about to go off,” Howie added.
The two friends looked at each other, smiled knowingly, turned back to Kelly, and said together, “We rest our case.”
“You’re both off your rockers,” Kelly snapped. “Just because I haven’t said anything about banging somebody new doesn’t mean…” Kelly’s voice trailed off, his shoulders sagging slightly. A sheepish smile crossed his face. “Actually…it does. Jerome and I…well we have been seeing each other—a bit.”
Ernie slapped Kelly on the back and Howie looked to heaven and said, “Thank ya, Jesus! Another miracle!”
“Stuff it, you two! It ain’t that big a deal!”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Kelly, old boy. You sticking with one guy! I think I just felt the earth move! Didn’t you, Howie?”
Howie nodded. “Sure did!”
“So fill us in,” Ernie insisted.
“Yeah. Tell, tell,” Howie added.
Kelly shrugged. “Not much to tell. We kinda hit it off that first night. He really is a sweet kid ya know…and, well, I don’t know, something popped when we were together. Uh—it was just—different being with him.”
“So, when’s the big day?” Ernie teased.
“Whoa, Jack. Don’t go orderin’ invitations just yet,” Kelly said with a small laugh. “By the way, how’s it goin’ with Todd?”
“Oh, my god! Todd!” Ernie checked his watch. “I was supposed to meet him after his class at the university tonight. I’m late.”
“So you’re still seeing him?” Kelly asked, seeming relieved to have a distraction from the focus being
on him and Jerome.
Ernie nodded as he quickly drained his glass.
“Some sorta record ain’t it?”
Ernie laughed. “Actually, if we make it to next week—it will be.”
A short while later Howie was driving home. He was humming an old barbershop song his dad used to play on their vintage Victrola record player: “Those Wedding Bells Are Breaking Up That Old Gang of Mine.” He smiled. I know none of us is at the point of marriage, but who would have believed it? The Three B’s—all finding love at the same time! Howie shook his head and continued to hum the song. Then he laughed out loud. The thought had made him giddy.
* * * *
Matthew was happier than he could ever remember being in his life. He was also more confused. He enjoyed being with Howie. He loved having sex with Howie. But every time that wee voice inside him asked, “Hello—what about your lifelong decision to become a priest?” he became confused.
It had happened that very afternoon as he got ready to meet Howie at the animal shelter to do some volunteer work. The voice had intruded on his happy anticipation of seeing Howie again while he was in the shower. Today he was able to ignore it—kind of. He very firmly informed the voice that for the time being he was going to appreciate what was going on between the two men and worry about his decision at the end of the summer semester which was a few weeks off. Of course, the fact that his cock was all lathered with soap, and he had stroked himself nearly to completion, aided him in his ability to be firm with the pesky voice.
In reality, Matthew knew he was just avoiding making that decision. But putting the barrier of time between now and that moment gave him a modicum of peace. The old I’ll think about it tomorrow ploy worked, and Matthew was able to return to his happy thoughts about his upcoming date with Howie.
Sometime later Matthew walked into the Cherry Valley Humane Society and was greeted by the receptionist. He’d been there often enough now that he was recognized as Howie’s friend and welcomed warmly.
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