Guardian of the Gate
Page 20
Luisa steps toward me, bending to pick up a few stones. She inches closer to the edge of the cliff before tossing them into the sea, and I watch them sail through the air. It is a futile diversion. We are too far up to see them drop into the roiling water below.
“Lia is right.” I turn to meet Sonia’s voice and see that she has retrieved my comb. She studies it as if it holds the answers to all our questions. “I have breached your trust, and there is no sure way to know that I will be stronger the next time the Souls attempt to use me, though I do hope there won’t be a next time. They…” She hesitates, and when she begins speaking again her voice comes as if from far away, and I know she is remembering.
“They did not appear to me as the Souls. They appeared as my… as my mother.” She turns to me, and there is naked pain in her eyes. “I met her on the Plane. She was sorry for sending me to live with Mrs. Millburn. She said that she didn’t know what to do, that she thought Mrs. Millburn would be able to help me understand my power. It was nice to have a mother again, if only in a world other than this one.”
“And then?” My voice is nearly a whisper.
“Then she began worrying for my safety. Saying that I was putting myself in danger by keeping the medallion. That we were all in danger because of your refusal to open the gate. At first, I didn’t listen. But after a while, well… I don’t know how to explain it except to say that it began to make a strange sort of sense. Of course, I realize now that I was not in my right mind, but it…” She looks into my eyes and even now I see the power the Souls had over her. Even now I see the power in an offer to replace something dear and once lost. “It happened so slowly that I cannot even say when it began.”
Her words rise and fall on the breeze off the ocean, echoing through my mind until there is nothing but silence. Finally she reaches toward me, the comb in her hand.
I take it from her. “I’m sorry.” I say it because throwing the comb was not kind, but in the deepest parts of myself, I am not sure I mean it.
She turns her palms to the sky as if in surrender to our judgment. “No, I am sorry, Lia. But all I can do is beg your forgiveness and swear an oath that I would rather die than betray you again.”
Luisa brushes off her hands and goes to Sonia, placing her hands on Sonia’s shoulders. “It is enough, Sonia. It is enough for me.”
It is not easy, but I cross the uneven ground, placing an arm around each of them so that we are embracing as we did when the prophecy was still just a riddle and not the thing that would both change and possibly end our lives.
For a moment on the hill overlooking the sea, I believe it is as it once was when the three of us could do anything together. But it does only last a moment. Because deep down we all know nothing will ever be the same again.
We are halfway up the path to the Sanctuary when we see the person running toward us.
We have said our goodbyes to Sonia, and though nothing is certain, I believe she wants to be well. Wants to be true to our cause. Now there is nothing to do but wait until the Sisters deem her strong enough to return to London.
Dimitri shields his eyes against the sun, gazing at the figure in the distance. “It is a Sister.”
The Sister’s robe billows in the breeze as she runs, and I catch sight of golden hair streaming behind her, reflecting like glass in the sunlight. When she finally reaches us, I do not recognize her. She is young, perhaps Astrid’s age, and she does not speak right away. She is so out of breath that she bends at the waist, gasping for air. A minute or so later, she finally straightens, her breath still coming in short bursts, her cheeks still flushed with exertion.
“I am… sorry to tell you that Lady Abigail has… passed.” It does not immediately register what she has said. My mind is as blank as the unused canvases that line the art room at Wycliffe. But what the young Sister says next breaks through my numbness. “They have sent me for you and bid that you come, my Lady.”
My Lady. My Lady.
All I can think is, No.
And then I run.
“It is not your fault that you were not here, Lia.” Una places a hot cup of tea on the table. “It would not have made a difference if you were. She never regained consciousness.”
Una has repeated this detail more than once since I rushed in, bedraggled and distraught, from our visit with Sonia and the news of Aunt Abigail’s passing. It does nothing to ease my guilt. I should have stayed with her. I should have stayed by her side every moment. I tell myself she would have known I was there, conscious or not.
“Lia.” Una sits next to me, taking my hand in hers. “Lady Abigail lived a long and fruitful life. She lived it in peace here on Altus, the way she wanted to live it.” She smiles. “And she saw you before she passed. I think that’s what she was waiting for all this time.”
I bow my head and the tears drip from my eyes straight onto the table. I do not know how to tell Una the many ways and reasons I mourn Aunt Abigail. Aunt Virginia is helpful in matters of support but has acknowledged the weakness of her power and has already told me all she knows.
It was Aunt Abigail on whom I hoped to rely for guidance. When I thought of the prophecy, it was she who stood strong and wise against it. It was she who seemed my closest ally, even across the miles. Now I am as alone as I have ever been.
Now it is just Alice and me.
27
Dimitri and I stand alone on the shore of the ocean, staring across the empty expanse of water. The barge carrying Aunt Abigail’s body has long since been pushed into the sea. She is gone, as is everyone else who stood on the beach while my aunt’s body was given to the sea surrounding Altus.
It is very quick by modern standards, putting someone to rest the very day they pass, but Dimitri tells me it is the custom on the island. I have no reason to repudiate it other than customs of my own that would seem just as strange to the people of Altus. Besides, Aunt Abigail was a Sister and their Lady. If this is how they say goodbye, I imagine this is how she would have wanted to say goodbye as well.
Dimitri turns from the ocean and begins walking, slipping his hand around mine. “I will see you safely back to the Sanctuary, and then I must go before the Grigori to address some business.”
I look up at him in surprise. Even my grief cannot suppress the curiosity that has always been mine. “What sort of business?”
“There is much to discuss, especially now that Lady Abigail has passed.” He looks straight ahead as we walk, and I cannot help but feel that he is avoiding my eyes.
“Yes, but we leave tomorrow. Can’t it wait?”
He nods. “That is what I have requested, in a manner of speaking. I still must answer for my interference with the kelpie, but I have asked to defer appearance before the Council until after the missing pages are in hand.”
I shrug. “That seems reasonable.”
“Yes,” Dimitri says. “The Council will send word of their decision before morning. But there is another point of contention. It concerns you.”
“Me?” I stop walking as we near the path that will take us to the Sanctuary. The walkway is more populated now, and we pass several Sisters as we near the main compound.
Dimitri takes both my hands in his. “Lia, you are the rightful Lady of Altus.”
I shake my head. “But I already told you; I don’t want it. Not right now. I cannot…” I look away. “I cannot think about it now with all that is ahead of me still.”
“I understand. I do. But in the meantime, Altus is without a leader, and the role is yours to either renounce or accept.”
Annoyance ignites my simmering frustration. “And why doesn’t the Grigori speak directly to me? Surely for all of Altus’s forward thinking, they are not above addressing a woman?”
I hear the weariness in his sigh. “It is simply not done. Not because you are a woman, Lia, but because the Grigori’s Elders keep to themselves except when absolutely necessary for order or discipline. It is a sort of… segregation much like that of t
he monks in your world. That is why the Grigori occupies quarters on the other side of the island. They rely on emissaries such as myself to provide communication with the Sisters. And trust me, Lia, if you are ever called to an audience with the Grigori it can mean nothing good.”
I give up trying to wrap my head around the nuances and politics of the island. There is simply not time to decipher such arcane rules and customs.
“What are my options, Dimitri? All of them.”
He takes a deep breath, as if needing extra air for the conversation ahead. “There are only three, really: You may accept the role that is rightfully yours and appoint someone to lead in your stead until you can return. You may accept the role and stay to lead now, though this would mean someone else will have to retrieve the missing pages on your behalf. You may refuse the position.”
Chewing my lower lip, I worry over the different alternatives. There is a part of me that wants to renounce the position now. To remove it from my consciousness so that I might concentrate on finding the missing pages. But there is another part, the still practical and thinking part, that recognizes now is not a time for rash decisions.
“What will happen if I renounce it now?”
His answer is simple. “It will go to Ursula in lieu of Alice who, in violation of the Grigori’s laws, is not eligible to assume the position.”
Ursula. Just the name causes me disquiet. She may be a strong and wise leader for all I know, but I have learned to trust my instincts, and I am not prepared to entrust something as important as the future of Altus, something to which Aunt Abigail devoted herself wholly, to someone who causes me such unease. No. If I am the rightful Lady, the Grigori will do as I ask if it is in the interest of the island.
And somehow, I’m certain that it is.
I look up at Dimitri, resolve hardening within me. “I neither accept nor reject the position.”
He shakes his head. “That is not one of the options, Lia.”
“It will have to be.” I straighten my shoulders. “I am the rightful Lady, and I am being dispatched to find the missing pages on behalf of the Sisterhood. Since I cannot be in two places at once or be expected to fully concentrate on the journey before me with a role as important as Lady hanging over my head, I request a deferment as well.”
I turn, pacing the ground leading away from him a few feet before turning back. The more I think about it, the stronger I feel. “I appoint the Grigori to lead in my stead until I have safely retrieved the pages.”
“It has never been done,” Dimitri says simply.
“Then perhaps now is the time.”
I find Luisa in the library, illuminated in a soft pool of light from a nearby desk lamp. As I note the dark curls that spill against her ivory cheekbones, it hits me that tomorrow, for the first time since we left for Altus, I will be without her companionship. How I will miss her quick wit and good humor.
“Luisa.” I try to say it softly to avoid startling her, but I needn’t have worried. When she looks up, her face is a sea of calm.
She rises, smiling softly and making her way across the room. Her arms close around me, and for a moment, we do nothing but stand in the embrace of friendship. When she pulls away, she studies my face before speaking.
“Are you all right?”
“I think so.” I smile at her. “I’ve come to say goodbye. We’re leaving very early in the morning.”
She returns my smile sadly. “I won’t bother asking where you are going. I know you cannot speak of it. Instead, I will simply promise that I shall stay here and look after Sonia while you find the pages. We’ll be very efficient then, won’t we? And we’ll be together again in London in no time.”
I want to leave now, while we are both in good humor and feeling hopeful about the future, at least outwardly. But I know I will not rest easy if I do not say something about this morning.
I sigh. “I want to trust Sonia again.”
“Of course you do. And you will.” She steps forward to wrap me in a fierce embrace. “Trust will come in time, Lia, as all things do. Now is not the time to worry over Sonia. I will do that for you while you’re away. Just focus on your own safety and the journey ahead. Find the pages. We will manage the rest when you return.”
We cling to the bond of our friendship a moment more, and all the while I try to blot out the unspoken response forming in the back of my mind: if I return, Luisa. If.
I can hardly breathe for the suspense. A full hour has passed since saying goodbye to Luisa, and as I sit on my bed waiting for Dimitri, anxiety over the Grigori’s decision winds my nerves so tightly I feel they will snap at any moment.
A soft rap at the door comes none too soon. I cross the room to open it, and it is no surprise that Dimitri is standing in its frame. He steps inside without prompting.
I do not speak until the door is closed behind him. Then I can wait no longer.
“What did they say?”
He puts his hands on my shoulders, and for a moment, I fear he will say they have refused. I fear he will say a decision must be made now. One that will be forever binding.
Thankfully, he does not.
“They have agreed, Lia.” He smiles, shaking his head. “I can hardly believe it, but they have agreed to give us both a deferment. It was not easy, but I was able to convince them that you should not be penalized for working on behalf of the prophecy and I should not be penalized for acting as your escort when Lady Abigail bid it done.”
Relief washes my anxiety clean. “They will give us until after the pages are found?”
“Better,” he says.
“Better?” I cannot imagine what could be better.
He nods. “They will defer it all until after the prophecy itself is resolved, provided you continue to work to its end. If you should change your mind… If you should act as Gate, the position will be given to Ursula.”
I shake my head. “That will not happen.”
“I know that, Lia.”
I turn from him, trying to wrap my head around such a swift change in the Grigori’s position. “Why would they make such an agreement if it is so unprecedented?”
He sighs, and his eyes drift to the corner of the room as if seeking escape.
“Just tell me, Dimitri.” Weariness weighs heavily on my voice.
His eyes find mine once again. “They figure the fates will decide; if you end the prophecy, you will make the decision as is your right. If you fail…”
“If I fail?”
“If you fail, it will be because you have either succumbed as Gate… or because you have not survived the prophecy at all.”
28
It is still dark when Una wakes me the next morning.
My heart sinks when she hands me a stack of folded clothing and I realize it is the laundered riding breeches and shirt I wore on the way to Altus. I have grown used to the silk robe while on the isle. I have grown used to many things.
While I wash and dress, Una adds enough food and drink to my knapsack to get Dimitri and me to our first stop. I have already packed my arrows and dagger for the journey. Though I know that Dimitri will be by my side for added protection, Sonia’s betrayal was a reminder that it is best to rely on oneself, just in case.
I can think of nothing else I need.
I am comforted by the heat of the adder stone against my skin. It slips easily beneath my shirt, and as I adjust the sleeves, my eyes come to rest on the medallion, still around my wrist. I have considered leaving it in the care of the Grigori, the Sisters, even Una herself, but I cannot bring myself to believe there is anyone I might trust with the medallion. Not after what happened with Sonia.
Una follows my gaze, glancing down at my wrist. “Is everything all right?”
I nod, buttoning the front of my shirt.
“Would you…” She hesitates before continuing. “Would you prefer to leave the medallion here? I would keep it for you, Lia, if it would help.”
I chew my lower lip, consider
ing her offer though I have been over the subject many times over. “May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
I tuck the shirt into my breeches as I consider my words. “Can those of you on Altus — the Grigori, the Brothers, the other Sisters… can you be tempted by the Souls?”
She turns, walking to the small writing table behind her and lifting something from its surface. “Not the Grigori’s Council. Not ever. The Brothers and Sisters, well… not in the way you and Alice can. You are the Guardian and the Gate, and because of that, you are far more vulnerable to the Souls.”
“I sense there is something you’re not telling me, Una.”
Turning from the writing table, she makes her way back to me with something in her arms. “I’m not keeping anything from you intentionally. It is simply not easy to explain. You see, a Brother or Sister would not have direct influence over the Souls’ ability to cross into this world or over Samael’s fate. But the Souls can tempt the Brothers or Sisters to work on their behalf — to influence those with more power.”
Like Sonia and Luisa.
“Has this ever happened here on the island?” I ask her.
She sighs, and I can see that it pains her to continue. “There have been… incidents. Times when someone has been caught trying to influence the course of events in aid to the Souls. But it doesn’t happen often.” This last is added in a rush, as if she wants to reassure me despite the knowledge that is anything but reassuring.
And it is just as I thought. Just as I knew. There is no one whom I may trust with the medallion. No one but myself, and even that I sometimes doubt when I feel the pull of it on my wrist.
I button the sleeves of my shirt, covering up the sliver of black velvet.
Una’s gaze drops to my wrist. “I’m sorry, Lia.”