Shifting Tides

by Caitlin Ricci

  Adam laughed and he wasn’t at all embarrassed when Blaine put him down and his uncle was watching them. “Hey. I’m almost done. Don’t know about these two, though.”

  Uncle John shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I think your aunt is buying out the shoe department right now, and that always takes a while. I’ll be right outside ready to be a pack mule for you three when you’re ready.”

  Laughing, Adam headed back into his own dressing room, where piles of clothes still awaited his decision. Adam had grabbed everything that might have even somewhat fit him since he had been so excited to try on anything that he could that was for boys. And there’d been no one at the desk to tell him that he had too many clothes either.

  After trying everything on, sometimes more than once, Adam settled on six pairs of jeans, four T-shirts, and a hoodie. Adam thought he had grabbed a ton of clothes in the end, but Seth had an even bigger haul, making his look pretty pathetic overall. Blaine hadn’t grabbed much for himself, just a few T-shirts and one pair of jeans. But Seth could hardly carry his clothes all at once as they headed toward the cart.

  “I don’t need much,” Blaine explained with a shrug as Adam looked over at him.

  “And I’ve learned better than to argue with my mom. Clearly you haven’t,” Seth said with a grin. They tossed it all into three haphazard piles in the cart and Adam stared at his new clothes, his fingers practically begging him to throw them on and get out of the girl clothes he had on. But Adam decided that he would wait until he was at his aunt and uncle’s house.

  Uncle John pushed the cart as Blaine took Adam’s hand and pulled him over to the backpacks. “You’ll need a new one. And shoes too. Guys don’t wear shoes like yours.”

  Adam glanced down at his shoes. They were perfectly good sneakers. And pretty plain too. But then Adam looked over at Blaine’s. He didn’t have any purple on his. Adam realized he was probably right about him needing new ones. Adam grabbed a black messenger bag and figured it would be what a guy would use. He looked to Blaine for confirmation and he smiled at him. “That’ll work.” Blaine then took his hand again and pulled him over to the shoe area, where Aunt Amy definitely was building herself a pile of small boxes to take home.

  “Oh good! You made it over here. Adam, I’ve got a selection of shoes over here for you to go through. I wasn’t sure of your size so if anything is wrong, let me know. And pick at least two pairs. I love shopping. This is going to be fun.”

  Adam was starting to like shopping a lot too.

  Chapter Twelve

  They dropped Blaine off at his grandmother’s house not long after that, and he and Seth were told to take their things up to their rooms. Adam got the spare bedroom, right next to Seth’s, and he dumped everything onto the plain blue bedspread. His phone beeped and he realized he would probably need a new one soon. It was something his parents paid for, and another reminder he wasn’t theirs anymore.

  The beeping was a text from his friend Heidi.

  Want to go to a movie with my sis and I next weekend? It’ll be fun!

  He really wasn’t sure what to say to her. Heidi was a friend, but he was pretty certain she’d have no idea how to react to the very big changes he had made in his life over the past few days. He sat down on the floor in front of his new bed, since there was no space on it with all of his stuff strewn across it, and he frowned down at his phone.

  Hey, lots going on with me here. Not living with my parents anymore. With my aunt and uncle now. And I’m trans. I’m a boy. Name’s Adam.

  The sad fact of the matter was that Adam didn’t expect to hear from her again. She was one of the cheerleaders. She moved in certain circles that Adam didn’t expect to be accepting of anyone different. He expected to be rejected now, because the most important people of his life had already turned their backs on him. But against the odds, a few seconds later he got a text back.

  No way! I bet you’re super hot as a guy. Take me to the winter formal? First dibs!

  You’re crazy.

  Had it really been that easy? Adam’s hands were shaking as he called her up to see what the hell was really going on.

  “Hey, Adam,” Heidi said, not stumbling over his new name at all.

  “Hi. So… You being medicated or anything right now? ‘Cause you’re being way cool about this.”

  She gasped. “Shit! You thought I was going to freak out? Hell no. I’m fine. Anyone who isn’t can go jump off a cliff. Into a pool of alligators. You ever coming back or do I have to get my parents or brother to drive up to where you’re staying now to be able to see you?”

  Shaking his head, Adam tried to catch up to her. She was okay with this. And still wanted to hang out with him for some reason he couldn’t really understand. “Uh. I dunno what’s going on. But if you want to be friends still, I’d like that.”

  Heidi was quiet for a few seconds. “You thought I was going to leave you? But you’re my best friend. I’d never do that to you.”

  Adam figured she was going to be so surprised when she found out what his parents had done to him then. And he was pretty shocked he was her best friend. He had known they were friends, but he hadn’t thought they were that close. Apparently he had been wrong. But with as shallow as some of the other girls on the squad could be, maybe Heidi perceived his easy-going and honest manner to be important. He had been the only one who had dared tell her that her fall-semester boyfriend had been cheating on her and wasn’t worth her time.

  “Thanks. That means…” Telling her it meant a lot to him for her saying she still wanted to be his friend seemed so small. “Just thank you.”

  “Of course. And work on your voice. It’s too high for a boy. Gotta swagger too. Like the hot guys in the music videos. God. I bet you’d be so sexy when you get all muscly. So are you up for a movie? I wonder if people will think we’re on a date. That would be so trippy.”

  She was the trippy one. Adam felt like he was in some alternate reality. “Sure. Movie good.” And he had lost all sense of his words too.

  “Great! See you next weekend!” She hung up on him and Adam stared at the wall. What the hell?

  Aunt Amy came up the stairs a few seconds later to find him still sitting on the floor and staring at the light blue wall. “Anything fun happening up here?”

  Adam slowly turned his head to look at her. “My friend Heidi called. Is it okay if I go to a movie with her next weekend?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. Let me know when you need a ride.”

  Adam thought that was going to be the end of it as Aunt Amy turned away. But then she looked back at him and put her hand on the door frame. “And take Seth with you. I’m thinking your friends are probably a lot better for him to be around than his usual run of girlfriends. I bet they’re smarter too. Those girls could use a little more self-respect and a lot less television, if you know what I mean.”

  Adam smiled and thought Heidi could probably fit that bill. “And she said I needed to drop my voice and learn how to swagger. How do I walk like a guy?” So many new things and he had no idea where to even start. He was a boy, but now he got to look and act like one too. His head was swimming.

  Aunt Amy laughed. “Let’s work on dressing like yourself first. Then we can worry about how you walk. Besides, I don’t really buy into that idea of how guys are supposed to do certain things. When Seth was a kid, I was really hoping he’d take up ballet. I’ve always wanted to go see a performance, but John isn’t into ballet and I thought it would change his mind. Didn’t work out that way, though.”

  “I’d go with you,” Adam softly offered.

  She smiled at him and leaned against the doorframe to his room. “Really? I’d like that. Maybe we can even convince Seth and Blaine to come with us.” Adam blushed instantly at Blaine’s name. “First boyfriend?” she guessed. Adam quickly nodded. “That’s so adorable. Seriously, hang on to that for as long as you can. And if anyone tells you that you’re too young to date, too young to be in love, too young to be se
rious about someone, you come tell them to talk to me. I fell in love with John when I was thirteen. Some jerk was pushing him around after school and I went up and kicked him in the crotch. Been with John ever since.”

  Adam laughed and grinned up at her. Aunt Amy was freaking awesome. “Thanks. For everything.”

  She gave him a nod. “Sure thing. Get changed and come downstairs. And don’t forget, Blaine’s less than a two-minute walk away in case you ever want to run over to see him. I’ve already called and given his grandmother a full report of the situation with your parents. She wants you to come over so she can meet the young man her grandson is smitten with.”

  Adam kept laughing until she’d gone down the hallway. Then he got changed and looked at himself in the big mirror attached to the back of the bedroom door. His chest was flat, his pants were baggy. His sneakers were boring and black. And his T-shirt had a soccer ball on it. He was certain this was going to be amazing.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Blaine wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans for what felt like the hundredth time. He’d never been so nervous and he tried to not let Adam see it as they walked the short distance from Seth’s house—now Adam’s too—to his gran’s place.

  “I didn’t realize you lived so close to Seth. Well, they did say a couple-minute walk, but this is almost right next door.” Adam looked around as they strolled down the well-treed sidewalk. “You weren’t this close before?”

  “When I lived with my folks?” Blaine sighed. Bringing up that subject didn’t make things any easier. “No, Seth and I were barely in the same school then. But we still managed to be best friends. Moving in with Gran made that a lot easier.” When he sat down and thought about it, living with Gran was a lot easier on several levels than living with his parents had been. She was much easier to get along with than either of them. Laid back in ways he had never even realized his folks were uptight about.

  Adam grabbed his hand and grinned at him. “I’m glad you’re close. It makes me feel better.” The transformation in Adam now that he had a proper haircut and boys’ clothes was amazing. Other than a few small things like a lack of razor stubble—although when Blaine thought about it, there were a few other boys in school his age that still didn’t shave—Adam looked just like a teenage boy, or maybe a preteen boy would’ve been a better description. He could still see Angela there, but Adam moved in a more comfortable and confident way than Angela ever had.

  Blaine squeezed his hand. “I’m glad I’m close too. It’ll make it easier to sneak out and see you.”

  “We better not do too much sneaking. We don’t want to upset Aunt Amy, Uncle John or your grandmother.”

  “There is that.” Blaine turned them down the driveway toward his gran’s house. Her green Volkswagen Beetle sat in the driveway. It wasn’t completely green, but green was the predominant color. The rear fenders were mismatched, one orange and one a lime green, while the main body of the car was forest green. The hood in the back was red. There were several large magnetic flowers placed strategically to cover up dents and dings. Blaine couldn’t remember how many times his mother had nagged at his gran to get rid of the car, but Gran always said it was the last present her one great love had gotten her before he’d overdosed on heroin. The incident had also changed her life forever as she’d never touched drugs again.

  Adam paused and stared at the car. “Okay, I can’t decide if it’s cool or weird.”

  Blaine laughed. That was the same way he felt. “Then you’re going to love Gran, ’cause she fits the car perfectly. I swear the two of them were made for each other.”

  “Sorta like us?”

  “Yeah, sorta like us.” Blaine grinned as a feeling of happiness welled up in him. A week ago he’d been building up the fortitude to tell Angela how he felt about her, and now he was taking Adam to meet Gran. It felt so right he couldn’t find real words to express himself.

  The gate to the backyard swung open and his gran stood there wiping her dirt-covered hands on her faded blue jeans. “Oh, it’s just you. I thought I heard people talking out here.”

  “Hey, Gran.” Blaine pulled Adam on down the driveway. “I thought you should meet Adam. Adam, this is my Gran, Mrs. Dell.”

  Adam held out his hand to Gran. “Hi, Mrs. Dell, it’s nice to meet you. I think it’s great that you took him in when his folks kicked him out.”

  His gran took Adam’s hand shook it and frowned. “Adam.” She paused and studied him, then looked at Blaine. “Come on out back and we can sit and get acquainted.”

  For a second, Blaine’s heart sank. There was a serious tone to his gran’s voice that he never liked hearing. It was normally reserved for his mother. He swallowed hard. “We were thinking about heading up to my room and playing video games. Adam’s Seth’s cousin and he’s staying with them for a while.”

  “Video games can wait.” Gran had the gate open and gestured for them to walk through. “If Adam’s going to be around, I think we should talk for a few minutes, let me get to know him.”

  The no-nonsense tone in her voice told Blaine it wasn’t going to do to argue, unless he wanted to piss her off, and he didn’t want Adam to see Gran angry. It wouldn’t be a pretty thing. Blaine glanced at Adam, who gave him a brief shrug.

  “It’s okay. Video games can wait. I’d love to sit and talk with your gran for a while.”

  Without further discussion, they walked into the backyard. His gran kept an extensive garden with both flower and vegetables. Blaine would be the first one to admit that the salads he ate with her were some of the best he’d ever had.

  She walked them over to the small table that sat in the center of the garden and gestured for them to sit in the two iron chairs while she settled on the stone bench opposite them.

  “You have a very nice garden, Mrs. Dell.” Adam glanced around them.

  “Turns out spending years growing pot was good for more legal things too.” Gran smiled like she always did when someone complimented her garden. “But we’re not here to discuss my green thumb. I’d like to talk about you, Adam. So you’re Seth’s cousin. On his mother’s side or father’s?”

  “Mother’s.” Adam shot Blaine a questioning glance.

  “How long are you going to be staying with the Flemings?”

  Adam’s lip quivered before he answered. “We don’t know.”

  Blaine put a protective arm across Adam’s shoulder and pulled him tight. “Look, Gran, his folks threw him out. It happened at the camp out.”

  “Which is why you came back a couple of days early.” She leaned back on the bench. “I thought something was up, but figured if it was important you’d get around to telling me sooner or later. Did they throw you out because you’re not really a girl and want to be the boy you always felt you were?”

  “Yes.” Adam looked up and his face beamed in hope.

  “I thought you weren’t exactly right for a boy. I’ve known a few trans people over the years, more men who were really women than the other way around, but that’s probably just who I ran into during my wilder times.” Gran paused and looked off into the garden for a moment. Then she looked at Blaine. “And since you two were holding hands coming down the drive, I guess you’re dating now?”

  Even to Blaine his nod felt too quick, and on the frantic side. He’d never expected that his gran was going to be able to spot Adam as a transboy from the get-go. But then, she was always surprising him with what she knew and did. Sometimes she was just too on the ball for being the old lady that she was. “That’s right. I went to the campout expecting to tell Angela how I felt about her, and then she announced she was really Adam and that’s fine with me.”

  “It’s fine with me too, just so long as you two realize that most of the establishment is going to be against you on several levels. Even though marriage equality is now the law, LGBT rights still have a long way to go before everyone accepts everything. And I’m sure you both know kids can be cruel.” She paused and frowned. “Speaking of
kids, how is Seth taking this? He’s not the most well balanced one out there.”

  Adam laughed. “Seth’s an idiot, we both know that. But he’s cool with it. He’s already treating me like his brother rather than his cousin.”

  “He’s right,” Blaine added. “Seth is cool where it counts. That’s why he’s my best friend.”

  “Good. Now that we’ve got everything out of the way, let the Flemings know if I can do anything to help out, I’ll be happy to. I’ve already talked to Amy a bit, but just reiterate for me.” Winking, Gran stood. “I need to finish weeding the corn, so you two go ‘play video games’.” She made air quotes and winked at them. “If you don’t have dinner plans, I’ll make enough stew for three.”

  “I’ll call Aunt Amy and let her know,” Adam said then grinned at Gran. “Thanks for understanding.”

  “Kiddo, you don’t survive the life I led for many years and not come out of it with an open mind. Now if you’d been a tight-ass son of a Republican, you’d be sitting on your ass out in the street wondering what the hell hit you. You’ve got to be who you really are, otherwise your whole life is a fucking sham.” She made shooing motions. “Now you two go entertain yourselves while I finish this up and get dinner going.”

  Blaine took Adam’s hand and headed for the back door. Then dropped it and went and hugged his grandmother. “Thanks, Gran. I love you.”

  She chuckled and hugged him back. “I love you too, kiddo. Now go have fun.” She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and then shoved him toward Adam.

  Right then and there, everything felt right in Blaine’s world. He knew he shouldn’t have been worried about how Gran would react to Adam, but it was great to know she was going to support them. Support was what they both needed. He took Adam’s hand again and led him into the house and up to his bedroom.