Why Did You Hurt Me?

by Phylicia Joannis

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

  Bitter Harvest

  Ms. Smith tries to look comfortable as she watches her oldest daughter walk inside. She’s growing up, she tells herself, and this is to be expected. Still, it’s hard to watch her daughter grow up so soon. She needs to have this talk with her, sooner rather than later.

  “Jennifer,” her mother says her name casually.

  “Hmm?” Jennifer responds in a singsong tone as she hangs up her jacket. Ms. Smith hesitates. Jennifer seems so happy; maybe she should have this talk another time?

  “How was your night?” Ms. Smith is stalling, but she knows talks like this can’t be put off forever.

  “It was nice,” Jennifer murmurs. She throws herself on the couch and kicks her shoes off. “I had a great time with Johnny. He’s so sweet.”

  Ms. Smith sits down next to her and folds her hands across her stomach. “What did you do?” she asks.

  Jennifer smiles. “Well, we went to the movies. The film was lousy, but we enjoyed making fun of it. After the movie we grabbed some pizza and ice cream. We went to the park for a little while, and then we came home.”

  Jennifer leans lazily on the couch as her mother studies her. Ms. Smith is quiet a long time before touching her daughter gently on the shoulder.

  “You know,” she begins. “Your father and I met when we were very young.” Jennifer sits up, sensing that her mother is doing more than making light conversation. There is another long silence as Ms. Smith hesitates. Jennifer waits until her mother continues. “I was your age when I became pregnant with your brother, Peter.”

  “I know mom, you told me that already,” Jennifer states a little defensively. “Johnny and I aren’t going to take things anywhere near that far, so you don’t have to worry.”

  “Oh, every mother worries, no matter who her child is,” Ms. Smith smiles. “I just want to share something with you. Is that okay?”

  Jennifer nods and waits for her mother to finish.

  “My mother hated Pedro the first day she met him. She told me to watch out for boys like him, because they were nothing but trouble. I told her not to worry, because things would never get too crazy.” Ms. Smith laughs softly and shakes her head.

  “Your father was very sweet and always a gentleman. He always opened my door for me, and he never stopped telling me how beautiful I was. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with him.”

  She shakes her head. “I gave my heart away too quickly, and nine months later I had your brother.”

  Jennifer gives her mother a confused look.

  “I’m not saying the same thing is going to happen to you,” her mother reassures her. “I fell in love too quickly, and sometimes the feelings associated with love make you blind to certain faults. There are things about your father I didn’t know; things I needed to know. Unfortunately, I allowed my feelings to dictate my actions, and we fell into sin. Those first years were hard. Being an unmarried teenage mother then wasn’t the same as it is now. My father stopped speaking to me. When your father and I got married, he refused to come to the wedding. He’d had such high hopes for me, but I let him down.”

  Ms. Smith sighs. “I let myself down, in a lot of ways. I didn’t realize just how much heartache I was in for until it was too late. After Peter was born, he promised he’d marry me as soon as we graduated from high school. He promised me so many things. He foretold a future for us both that would be paradise. I wanted it to be true, so much so that I ignored anything remotely negative about Pedro. He had a gambling problem then, but I pretended it was a harmless hobby. Besides, he always seemed to have enough money to take care of things. I didn’t know that the way he was taking care of things was so out of control.”

  Ms. Smith gives Jennifer a look. “The point I’m trying to make is this: be careful who you give your heart to. People aren’t always what they seem to be. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good people; your father is a good man, but that’s not what makes relationships work.”

  Ms. Smith pauses momentarily, carefully choosing her next words. “From what I’ve gathered about Johnny, he used to be different, right? Black fingernail polish, black clothes, black hair, baggy pants with chains?”

  “Yes, except for the hair,” Jennifer giggles. “Thank the Lord he didn’t dye his hair!”

  “And now he’s changed? No more black, no more chains, no more Goth?”

  Jennifer nods. “That’s right.”

  “Well, what made him change?”

  Jennifer opens her mouth, but hesitates. It’s a question she’s wondered herself.

  “I don’t know,” she finally confesses. She looks at her mother, but Ms. Smith doesn’t say a word. “I’ve tried, but we always wind up on a totally different subject. I don’t think he does it on purpose though. Most of our conversations turn back to me eventually.”

  Ms. Smith speaks up after a moment of thought. “So he knows a great deal about you, and you know very little about him, is that it?”

  Jennifer doesn’t have to answer to see where her mother is going. She has a valid point. It feels good to be around Johnny, and so far he’s never acted inappropriately with her, but she still knows very little about him.

  “I guess that’s right.” Jennifer thinks a moment.

  “So, you don’t know where he stands, spiritually?”

  Jennifer shakes her head, taking in her mother’s words. “I’d better find out.” Her mother nods in approval. “Right now, actually.” Jennifer kisses her mother on the cheek and grabs the house phone.

  •••

  Johnny hears the phone ringing as he walks in the door. His brother Matt, who’d been walking to his room, turns to rush towards him in greeting.

  “Hey buddy!” Johnny grins as he lifts him up from the floor. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

  Matt nods and rubs his eyes. “I had to get some wader.”

  Johnny tousles his hair and puts him down. “Well, you get off to bed, okay?” Matt nods sleepily and shuffles to his room. His mother calls him from the kitchen.

  “Johnny, the telephone is for you. It’s Jennifer.” Johnny grabs the phone and gives his mother a swift kiss on the cheek. She smiles at him before walking out.

  “Make it short, okay? I’m expecting a phone call.”

  Johnny nods as he speaks in to the receiver. “Here’s Johnny,” he says playfully.

  “Hey Johnny, it’s me,” Jennifer greets him. There’s something different in her tone, but Johnny ignores it and continues his playful banter.

  “Jen, we’ve only been away from each other for five minutes. Do you miss me already?”

  There is a long silence before Jennifer responds. “Is it okay for us to talk?”

  “Yeah, of course,” Johnny replies. “Go ahead.”

  Another pause. “I was talking to my mom this evening, and I realized that there are some things I still don’t know about you. Important things that I need to know before we can go any further.”

  Johnny feels his stomach drop. He’s managed to keep his secrets without outright lying to her, in part because she’s never pried too deeply. His palms begin to sweat as Jennifer begins shooting off questions.

  “The most important thing I need to know is whether or not you have a relationship with the Lord. I’m a Christian, Johnny, and I can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t.”

  Johnny scrambles for a response until, mercifully, the phone beeps.

  “Jen, I’m sorry, but there’s someone on the other line, and my mom’s expecting a call.” Before she can respond, he clicks over. He’ll have to call her back, but at least this gives him time to think of something.

  “Hello? Hello?” a deep voice rises out of the phone. Johnny nearly forgets the other caller. “Is anybody there?”

  “Yes, this is the Reese residence. Who’re you calling for?”

  The deep voice clears his throat. “This is Dr. Karrington at Logoria Memorial Hospital. Am I speaking to a relative of Charles Ree
se?”

  Johnny feels the blood drain from his face and he nearly drops the phone. The hospital. Charles Reese is in the hospital. That can only mean one thing.

  “Is he dead?” Johnny hears himself ask. There is a pause, and Dr. Karrington clears his throat. “May I ask again if I’m speaking to a relative of Charles Reese?”

  “Yeah, this is Johnny. I’m his son.” There is another pause and a sound like the shuffling of papers.

  “Johnny, is Mrs. Reese around?”

  “Just tell me if he’s dead!” Johnny finds himself screaming into the phone. His mother rushes into the kitchen.

  “Johnny, why are you yelling?” his mother scolds him. “I just put the kids to bed!”

  Johnny hands the phone to his mother. She takes it slowly, her eyes questioning as she speaks into the receiver. “Hello?”

  Johnny doesn’t stay to hear the rest. He walks to his room and closes the door behind him, but not before hearing his mother cry out.

  ···

  Johnny walks down the halls of the hospital in a trance. Susan and his brothers are being watched by a neighbor back at the house so he and his mother can see Mr. Reese. He isn’t dead; at least, not yet. Mr. Reese had been shot multiple times during a mugging. The paramedics arrived much later, and by then he’d lost a lot of blood.

  His mother is frantic as they make their way to the emergency room. They’re redirected to the ICU on the third floor, and once there, Mrs. Reese has paperwork to fill out. Dr. Karrington explains to them that Mr. Reese was found in a local parking lot. One of his lungs collapsed, and the chances of him surviving the night are slim.

  Johnny enters the room with his mother. Charles Reese is hooked up to a machine that is breathing for him. Aside from the very slow motion of his chest rising and falling, he doesn’t move. Johnny’s mother hovers over him, a shaky hand over her mouth. Johnny watches quietly as his mother weeps.

  “Charles, please don’t leave me,” she cries. Johnny turns away. Even as he lay dying, Charles Reese still has the power to make people beg.

  Mr. Reese makes a guttural sound and Johnny’s mother gasps. Johnny’s head snaps up in shock as his stepfather’s eyes flutter open. Mrs. Reese smiles and gently grabs his hand.

  “I’m here, Charles,” she cries. “Can you hear me?”

  Mr. Reese turns his head slightly in her direction, and Mrs. Reese laughs.

  “Johnny, come over here!” she exclaims. “Come say something to your father.”

  Johnny walks slowly toward Mr. Reese, but finds no words. His stepfather’s eyes follow him from across the room to the side of the bed. In those eyes is something Johnny knows is impossible. Had it been anyone else, he would have called it remorse. Johnny stands by the side of the bed, dumbstruck. Mr. Reese brushes his hand along Johnny’s ever so slightly, but Johnny quickly moves it away.

  “Please don’t leave me alone, Charles,” Mrs. Reese whimpers again.

  Another guttural rasp reminds them that he has a machine breathing for him. Mr. Reese becomes very still again, with the exception of the movement of his chest, and Mrs. Reese holds her husband’s hand.

  “I’m right here, Charles. Don’t you worry, okay? I’m right here.”

  Johnny steps outside his stepfather’s room. He doesn’t see anywhere to sit nearby, so he heads towards the hospital chapel. When he gets there, he slides into a seat and sighs. The Master made good on his promise. The nightmare is finally over.