"Children and grandmas, in my case." Miranda tried to smile but gave up. "I'd better get home. There's plenty to straighten out."
Sofie and Noah were already back. They were filling bowls with cereal and berries for supper.
"How was tennis?" Miranda barely had the energy to talk but knew she had to ask.
Sofie shrugged. "Okay."
"Training was good," said Noah, while opening the milk.
She smiled relieved. At least some things were fine. "Good to hear. When you've eaten, you can play until bedtime. If you've done your homework, that is."
Miranda opened a bottle of white wine and poured herself a glass. Then she sat in the armchair in the living room, staring into the distance. She was so shocked it was hard to collect her thoughts. How on earth could Vidar do such a foolish thing? Not only was the act stupid, but to get involved with an employee at the hotel? Didn't he know they had to pay the consequences if they got caught? There was no way she could ignore it. She couldn't pretend it never happened. Their marriage was at stake. Who wants an unfaithful man in their bed? She got shaky just thinking about it. She shook her head, making the wine slosh about in the glass. Not that they'd had that many hours of lovemaking in the bedroom these last few months, but still. The thought was unbearable. So, what to do next? Throw him out and start from scratch? They'd been living together since she was eighteen years old. An eternity. She could scarcely remember life before she fell in love with Vidar. She'd loved him all these years. Not once had the idea of adultery crossed her mind. They'd had their ups and downs, like every couple who'd been married for years. You couldn't avoid it. But they'd always worked through the challenges, in one way or another. However, she knew when their relationship had changed. It happened when Vidar lost his job. He didn't handle being unemployed well. He'd withdrawn and gradually become more reticent. Being both bitter and moody, he was more troublesome to communicate with as well. He was no longer easy to be with.
Miranda pictured Vidar and Olivia on the floor in the storage room and felt nauseous. And to think that Kitty and Patricia had witnessed it. She didn't know if she found it more embarrassing or sad. Maybe both. She wondered how long the affair had been going on. It must have been from when the hotel opened a couple of weeks ago. No wonder Vidar had hardly been home one single evening. She'd thought he'd been out biking as usual. She'd been easy to fool, and gullible too.
Miranda drank some more wine and pondered about the silence in the house. Where was Vidar, and when did he plan on coming home? Perhaps he didn't dare, for fear of being kicked out almost before he unlocked the door. Or had he followed Olivia back to her place, to continue their lovemaking there? Miranda didn't know anything about the woman, other than the information on her CV, which she'd checked in the same way as every other new employee. It was William who'd hired Olivia. She was a beautiful woman. Miranda had no problems understanding how Vidar could be attracted to her. But attraction and action were two entirely different things. Vidar seemed to have forgotten that.
Conflicting emotions overwhelmed her. Anger, sorrow, resignation, and powerlessness, but above all disappointment. She was sad that everything they'd shared all these years was gone in the blink of an eye. Because it was impossible to forgive adultery, wasn't it? Even if she was lucky enough to be able to forgive him eventually, she'd never be able to forget.
Miranda heard a key in the lock and her heart started to beat faster. She didn't fancy confronting Vidar, but there was no way out.
The sound of shoes and a jacket being placed in the closet made her nervous. She knew he'd come into the living room shortly. And what mood would he be in? Indifferent or repentant?
Vidar entered and sat on the sofa across from her. He looked ashamed and dried some sweat off his forehead, although it wasn't especially warm inside. He avoided her eyes, but then changed his mind.
"Miranda, you must've heard what happened. I'm so sorry. It should never have happened. In fact, it never has happened before. I lost my common sense, so to speak."
"Really." She looked penetratingly at him and refused to feel sorry for her husband. It was thanks to his poor judgment that they were sitting here now. Both her and the children's lives were falling apart because of his mistake.
"Miranda, don't be like that. I'll do everything in my power to make things right again. Just give me another chance, please."
"I don't know if I can, Vidar. I'm incredibly disappointed. You've let me down. How can I ever trust you again? And believe what you say?" She drank the rest of her wine. "It's hard to forgive adultery, Vidar."
"What? What have you done, Dad?" Sofie was standing in the doorway and had heard every word they'd said. Noah was right behind her, pale-faced and wide-eyed.
Vidar turned bright red. He probably hadn't expected the children to find out about his affair. What had he been thinking? That his mistake would be passed over in silence? Miranda nearly laughed. Apparently, he was even more naive than her.
"This doesn't concern you, Sofie. Go up to your rooms, so I can finish talking with Mom."
"No way! I heard everything you said. Are you getting a divorce?" Sofie looked at them, terrified, and Miranda felt for her. This situation wasn't easy for any of them, but it would be hardest on the children. They had to be honest about it.
"Sofie, I don't have an answer to that question yet. We must try to solve our problems first, then we'll see. That's all I can tell you now. Go upstairs and get ready for bed, it's late. I'll join you shortly."
The children finally left, and Miranda couldn't face talking anymore. Confusing thoughts filled her head. She was exhausted, and all she wanted to do was fall asleep and get away from this nightmare.
"I can't see any solution here and now, but I need to consider if I can continue living with you. I suggest you move into the guest room. Sharing a bed with you is out of the question. When you're upstairs moving your bed linens, you can talk to the children and confess your sin," she said.
Miranda had never seen him hunched over before. He was slightly shorter than her, something he'd never been comfortable with. That was why he always kept his back straight, looking a tad upwards. Not any longer. It must have dawned on him how foolish he'd been. With his eyes fixed on the floor, he walked hesitantly toward the stairs.
"I'll do whatever it takes to make amends for my misdoings," he muttered.
17
Miranda's head was hazy when she started the morning meeting with Gabriel. The night had been both lonely and turbulent. She'd lain awake for hours thinking, before falling asleep at last. It had been a restless sleep. She was unaccustomed to sleeping alone in the big bed, and the physical distance between them felt inordinately vast and somewhat frightening.
She wasn't looking forward to this meeting. It wasn't fun having to admit to others that Vidar preferred another woman to her. But his antics would become known in any case. Word about these things tended to spread, and she wanted Gabriel's advice concerning Olivia. She didn't want to fire her, because she did a good job. But could Miranda live side by side with her at the hotel, when she was part of such a betrayal? And when she knew this woman was near Vidar?
Vidar. He was a separate case. She didn't know what her feelings for him were, other than being at subzero.
"I guess this isn't a good morning," Gabriel said after greeting her. "What did you do last night? You usually look so refreshed."
She took the tea mugs to the sofa. "Aren't you observant?"
He raised his eyebrows as if expecting an answer. Miranda filled a bowl with sour toads and relished an extra fat one that must have escaped the factory's quality check. Gabriel studied her for a long time. She mulled over how best to express herself. She landed on telling it straight out. Why embellish an ugly story? It wouldn't make it any better.
"Vidar was caught red-handed with our housekeeper yesterday." She felt herself blushing and was tempted to have another toad, as if it might help.
Gabriel looked at he
r, shocked. "You're kidding."
"I wish I was." She told him what had happened.
He put out his arm, drawing her close, and hugged her tenderly. "I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do." He kissed her on the cheek before releasing her.
"Thanks." She could sense the wet kiss starting to dry. It felt nice to have some comfort right now.
"Have you discussed it?"
"Last night. Sadly, the children overheard the conversation, so they're upset. We've both talked to them, but how can it help? The damage is done."
"It's never easy when something like this happens. Too bad they had to learn about it that way." He got up. "I think I need an espresso. Would you care for more tea?"
"Yes, please."
"What are you going to do about Vidar and Olivia?" he asked as he set the mugs on the table.
"I'm not sure. I was hoping to discuss it with you. I don't want to let Olivia go, but it feels as if I don't have an option. The most important thing for me is to trust my employees."
"And you don't any longer," he added.
She shook her head, making her long hair fall into her face. "If she continues working for us, I'll always wonder what she's doing behind the hotel's closed doors."
"I get you. Strictly, this is not grounds for dismissal, but she's still on probation, so we'll sort out the formalities. I can arrange a new job advertisement. It'll take some time to find a replacement, so we need to find a temporary solution."
"Sounds reasonable. I think it'll be better for everyone." She sipped her hot tea.
"Do you have someone in mind?"
"Not really. I must see who I can use in the meantime. I don't have many to spare. Jasmine doesn't have much to do but isn't capable of running the housekeeping department. Far from it."
"I see what you mean."
There was a knock on the door, and Kitty came tripping in with King. "Sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to make sure you're all right."
Miranda smiled warmly and embraced her. "I'm okay, all things considered, but the children are upset."
"Poor Sofie and Noah. Send them over to me. They've always been happy there." Kitty straightened King's yellow bow.
"I might." She thought for a moment. "If it hadn't been for you, I'd be living in ignorance. That's even worse."
"I agree, but it was a ghastly experience." Kitty shook her short white curls. "You still don't want any details?"
"Definitely not." She didn't want to learn more of what her husband had been up to.
"I get it. Well, Vidar doesn't have much to brag about. I would by no means call him well endowed. In no way did he resemble my dear Freddy. You can do much better than that, Miranda." Kitty winked at Gabriel and smiled innocently before hurrying out the door.
Miranda sank onto the sofa again and thought she might pass out. Her head almost exploded with the heat. She'd never been this embarrassed before. How on earth could Kitty say something like that? And while Gabriel was listening? She closed her eyes and hoped it would all go away.
Gabriel took the hint and got up. His cheeks were a deep red color, but he tried to hide a smile. "I'll get started on the job ad."
She nodded, grateful.
Miranda had lunch with Isabella and Celine in the Flying Fish. Her appetite wasn't the best, so she chose cauliflower soup with crispy bacon and truffle oil. She told them what had happened while she picked at her pan-fried bread. Celine knew most of it already, but Isabella reacted with disbelief.
"You're joking. How can anyone be so incredibly stupid?" Isabella looked at her questioningly, but she had no answer.
"I'll talk to Olivia after lunch. She needs to pack her stuff and leave immediately." Miranda tasted the delicious soup and realized how hungry she was.
"We can't have people like that working here." Isabella had ordered a salad with smoked salmon and took a bite. "Mmm, the chef knows how to cook."
"What are you going to do with the housekeeping department? Most people have a term of notice at work." Celine looked at Miranda.
"I've no idea. I'll have to relocate someone temporarily."
"It's relatively quiet at our department. Nadia and I can help for a while. Our first conference isn't until the end of next week. We've got it covered," said Celine.
Miranda looked at her half-sister, whom she liked better the more she got to know her. She was a remarkable woman who didn't hesitate to offer her help when needed. "That's kind of you. Maybe it'll work. I can do a bit extra, too, until we find a replacement."
Isabella finished her salad. "Count me in as well. There are slow periods at Anemone, and I've got Pernille."
"Thanks, you're both so sweet. How's Patricia doing? I hope she wasn't scared by what she saw. You never know." Miranda looked anxiously at Celine.
"Don't worry, she's fine. She brings it up sometimes but will forget it eventually."
"Lucky girl," Miranda said with a touch of irony in her voice. "It's more than I ever will."
They both looked at her with sad, compassionate eyes. "What are you going to do about Vidar?" Isabella asked.
"I haven't decided yet. I have many considerations to make and must think of what's best for the children. I need to figure out what I want first, but I did kick him out of the bedroom."
"Smart."
"Another issue is his job. Firing him is difficult. He'll stay at home all day without an income. We'll be the ones to suffer. His mood will be unbearable," Miranda explained.
"Yes, it's all connected," Isabella said with a sigh. "You have to find out if you can continue living with him, and also forgive. You'll never be able to forget."
Miranda called Olivia and asked her to come up to the office. She wasn't looking forward to the conversation. It would be most unpleasant, but she couldn't avoid it. This was the part she disliked most about her job, having to let people go. And now it was personal as well, which made it even more complicated.
Olivia entered through the open door, and Miranda showed her to the chair in front of her desk. The young woman was wearing a low-cut summer dress, despite the calendar showing mid-May and the weather was gray outside. Her striking red hair lay across her shoulders. Miranda swallowed hard. It was extremely challenging to have Olivia sitting here when she knew what Vidar had done to her the night before.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
Olivia colored fiercely and moved nervously in the chair. She scratched her throat and looked as if she'd rather be anywhere else. Quite understandable.
"I'm sorry, it shouldn't have happened."
Oh really. How easy it was to say sorry and move on as if nothing had happened. Miranda felt her anger starting to rise but knew it would be useless to lecture.
"Why didn't you choose someone other than my husband, while you were at it?" Her voice was calm, but she couldn't keep her sarcasm at bay. It was childish, but all rational thoughts had disappeared with Vidar's innocence.
"It wasn't all my fault." Olivia glared at the floor, and Miranda sensed her anger turn to irritation. Of course, she wasn't the only guilty party, but she could at least own up and take responsibility for her actions. However, Miranda wasn't inclined to discuss this any further.
"I need to be able to trust my employees. Trust is most important in this job. It'll be better for everyone if you pack your things and find a new job." Miranda looked at her firmly.
"But Vidar promised I wouldn't lose my job." Alarmed, Olivia stared at her.
"Too bad for you that Vidar isn't the one in control of the hotel." Miranda stood up. "I'll walk you to your office." And repossess your PC and prevent you from taking any items with you.
Olivia reluctantly followed her down the corridor to the office next to Vidar's. Miranda watched as she picked up her bag from the floor and headed for the elevator. No one said a word. There was nothing left to say.
Miranda returned to her office and threw herself onto the sofa. What a nightmare. Her head ached, and she felt down
hearted, but at least Olivia was gone for good. One less problem to deal with. She wondered where Vidar was. He must be somewhere at the hotel. Hopefully, he was working, there were plenty of chores to keep a janitor busy. She knew it wouldn't be difficult to replace him. Many people wanted a job like that.
But she was starting at the wrong end. First, she had to figure out what to do with her marriage. With a strong dose of goodwill, she might find it in her heart to forgive him. She'd heard of people who had succeeded in doing so. But they may have had a better starting point. Or perhaps not. When something like this happened in a marriage, there were always underlying causes. Admittedly, the relationship between them wasn't as it should be, otherwise the affair wouldn't have started. They would never have dreamed of crossing the line if they loved each other. She felt sure of it. What was she to do next? Pick up the pieces? Should they cling to the hope that everything would be fine again, for the sake of the children? That was what people did. They tried and tried, over and over, until they finally gave up. But then again, some of them succeeded. For them, all the trouble of getting their marriage back on track was worthwhile.
Miranda tried to analyze her feelings for Vidar. Did she still love him after all the years of living together? Was it even possible? She was unsure. The infatuation had disappeared ages ago, but that was natural. She knew she was fond of him, but was it enough? Was it supposed to be like this for the rest of their lives? She had no answers to any of these questions and decided to ponder more later. Now she had to get started on Olivia's PC and familiarize herself with her work. She would divide responsibilities and make a to-do list that would work until they found a replacement.
Miranda didn't know what to expect when she headed home to prepare dinner. How was Vidar's mood? She hadn't seen him since breakfast. He'd settled for a cup of coffee and his nose had been buried in the newspaper. He hadn't even asked for eggs and bacon.
Sofie and Noah had been equally mute. For once they cooperated and had produced the ingredients and cleared away afterward. An awkward silence filled the kitchen, and it was far from pleasant. The children had many thoughts running through their minds and were anxious about the future.
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