“What are you doing?” Mahlon eyed her with curiosity.
“Take off your shirt.” She set the bowl on the nightstand beside the bed.
A sly grin creeped up the side of his mouth. “Hey, I think I like where this is going.”
She dipped the washcloth into the bowl of warm water, rubbed a little soap on it, brought it to his chest, and began removing the perspiration and bits of sawdust.
Mahlon reached for her face and pulled her close for a kiss.
She moved back. “Now, I’m not going to be able to do this if you’re doing that. You’ll need to cooperate.”
He lifted doleful puppy dog eyes and began a mock pout. “Do I have to?”
“Good things come to those who wait.”
He smiled. “I’m waiting. Patiently. See how patient I am?”
“Good boy.” Ruth laughed. “But tomorrow, you’re giving yourself a sponge bath.”
His pout returned.
EIGHTEEN
“Mamm, Mamm! Cumm!” Leon’s voice sounded urgent and Ruth and Naomi both sprang to their feet, tossing their sewing projects aside.
“What? Was is letz, sohn?”
“It’s Dat. Something’s wrong!”
Naomi rushed outside, with Ruth close behind her. They followed Leon as he ran to the barn. In a stall, Mahlon knelt next to Eli.
Mahlon’s eyes met his mother’s. “I think he’s had a heart attack.”
“I can call 911,” Ruth said, ready to race back to the house to retrieve her cell phone.
“Nee.” Mahlon put his fingers to his father’s neck, feeling for a pulse, as though trying again would make his father come back to life. “He’s already gone.”
“Gone? No!” The anguish in Naomi’s voice caused each one present to share in her grief. She knelt over her husband’s lifeless body and laid her head on his chest. “Eli! You can’t leave us. Gott, please, no!”
Mahlon stood and pulled Ruth to him, fiercely holding onto her as though his life depended on it. She wept with her beloved as he clung to her, giving what comfort she could.
Leon stooped, rubbing his mother’s back, but it seemed to bring little consolation.
Ruth shook inwardly, dreading the day she might have to face such a tragedy. Hopefully, that would never happen. If it did, she’d pray that God would give her the strength to get through it.
~
Since they hadn’t been part of an Amish community, Eli’s funeral and burial had been more like an Englischer’s than an Amish man’s.
The days and weeks following had been the most difficult for the family, but mostly for Naomi. Many times, Ruth heard weeping during the night and her heart went out to her mother-in-law. She wished there was something she could do to bring her comfort.
As for Mahlon, Ruth was glad she could console him. She wished she could give him a child, but it seemed their efforts had been fruitless so far. Maybe someday…
~
Mahlon stopped hammering when Leon called his name. He’d began working in construction with his brother since their father had passed away. It just made sense—construction brought in more money for the family than his woodworking business.
Ruthie hadn’t liked the fact that he’d set aside his dream and now worked away from home, but she understood. She’d even offered to begin working outside the home, which he declined. He wasn’t going to let her be the provider—that was his job. He wanted to be her provider. He wanted to be her protector. He wanted to be her everything. Wasn’t that what a gut Amish man did for his fraa?
Leon moved closer. “When you and Ruthie got married, what did you do?”
Mahlon frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, where’d you go? How did you do it?”
“We went to the courthouse and were married by the Justice of the Peace.”
“Oh.” He scratched his cheek. “Not a preacher?”
Mahlon shook his head and chuckled. “It was short notice and we were kind of in a hurry.”
Leon rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it. You should have seen Mamm and Dat. They were quite upset.”
“I can imagine.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Not for a second. It’s one of the best things I ever did.” He rubbed his beard that seemed to be filling out more every day. “Why are you asking?”
“Thinking about something.”
Mahlon’s brow shot up. “About getting married?”
Leon nodded.
“To that Englisch girl you’ve been courting?”
“Jah. Olivia.”
“Do you think she’s ready? Does she want to become Amish?”
“We’ve talked about marriage some. I don’t think she wants to be Amish, though.”
“Mom probably won’t be happy.”
“I know. But I don’t really have a chance of marrying an Amish girl. Besides, I love Olivia.”
Mahlon shrugged. “Then marry her, if you think she’s a gut match.”
Leon’s grin grew wide. “I think I will. Thanks, Mahlon.”
NINETEEN
The moment Mahlon walked through the door, Ruth attacked him with a kiss.
“Whoa, what was that for?” Mahlon chuckled. He removed his hat and placed it on the wall hook just inside the mudroom. He looked around her, most likely to see if anyone else was around to see their public display of affection.
Ruth giggled. “Nothing. Just missed you, is all.”
“It smells gut in here.” They walked into the kitchen.
She gestured to the table, where row after row of filled candle jars cured. “We’ve been making candles today.”
“I see that. Which scents did you make?”
“Vanilla, citrus, and leather.”
“Leather?” He chuckled.
“Jah, smell it.” She removed the lid to one of the jars and handed it to him.
He brought it to his nostrils. “It smells gut. Just like a saddle.”
“Speaking of saddles…will you teach me to ride Timber?”
“Have you ever ridden a horse before?”
“No.”
“I’m not sure Timber is the best horse to learn on, Schatzi. He can be pretty feisty at times.”
“But you ride him, don’t you?”
“Jah, sometimes.”
“Then maybe I can ride with you.”
“I think I’d like having your arms wrapped around my waist.” He bent down and kissed her lips, pulling her form near.
“I think I’d like it too.” She returned his kiss with vigor.
“Uh…um.”
Ruth and Mahlon broke apart at the clearing of Leon’s throat. She felt her cheeks growing hot.
“Some of us save that for the bedroom.” Leon brought his wife close and winked at her.
“Sorry,” Ruth apologized.
She and Olivia moved to clear the table of the candles to prepare for the evening meal.
Mahlon feigned offense. “You’re sorry for kissing me?”
She playfully poked his chest. “Never.”
“Time for supper, you two lovebirds. You’d think that after a year of marriage, the flame would have died out at least some.” Leon grinned.
An entire year and still no fruit from their love. Ruth wanted to give Mahlon a boppli so badly, but it hadn’t happened. Would they ever be able to conceive? Would Mahlon ever get the children he was so eager to father? A dull ache had formed in her heart—it was the same one that often accompanied her thoughts.
Oblivious to Ruth’s musings, Naomi walked in from the kitchen and waved a hand, jumping into the conversation. “Your father and I were married thirty-five years and the flame never died out. As a matter of fact, it grew a little stronger each day.” She set five plates on the table.
“Really, Mom?” Mahlon smiled and squeezed Ruth’s hand.
“Wow, thirty-five years! It must’ve been a wildfire.” Leon chuckled.
Olivia brought bread and jam and placed it alongs
ide the chow-chow, noodles, and ham they’d prepared for supper.
“For certain sure.” Naomi smiled.
“I miss Dat,” Leon said as he took a seat at the table across from his wife.
“We all do, sohn. What I wouldn’t give to have him back here.” Naomi wiped away a tear.
“I’m sure he don’t want to come back to this old place after being in Heaven walkin’ on streets of gold,” Mahlon said, then they each bowed their head in silent prayer for the meal.
TWENTY
Nine years later…
A knock sounded at the door. “Ruthie, will you get that, please?” Naomi called from the kitchen.
“Sure.” She padded to the door and peeked through the window. A police officer?
Ruth swallowed and pulled the door open. “May I help you?”
The officer frowned. “Is this the home of Mahlon and Leon Stutzman?”
“Jah.”
“Are you related to one of them?”
“Yes, I’m Mahlon’s wife. Is something wrong?”
His lips pressed together in a hard line and sympathy darkened his eyes. “Your husband has been in an accident. A vehicle attempted to pass his buggy and didn’t see the oncoming car. The buggy was forced off the road and it turned over…I’m sorry, but he didn’t make it.”
“He didn’t make it? Wait. What do you mean? He’s… dead?” Her throat tightened so much she could hardly speak.
“I’m afraid so, ma’am.”
“No.” She shook her head. “No! Not Mahlon!” Ruth sobbed. “He can’t be dead!”
Naomi and Olivia surely must’ve overheard their conversation and appeared at her side.
“And…Leon? Is he okay?” Olivia’s voice trembled.
“Neither of them made it, ma’am. I’m sorry.”
“My sons!” Naomi cried. “Now, I have lost everything. I have nothing.”
Ruth ran to her room. She couldn’t hear any more. No, Mahlon couldn’t be gone! They didn’t have enough time together. She didn’t even have a little one to remember him by.
She moved to the small closet Mahlon had built in their bedroom and buried her face inside one of her husband’s shirts, attempting to capture a remnant of his scent. Tears fell as she realized she’d never sew Mahlon another shirt. Her beloved would never don these clothes again. His strong arms would never be there to wrap around her and hold her tight. His soft lips would never again press against hers. She’d never feel his touch, his caress, his warmth at night.
Oh, Mahlon! Please don’t leave me here alone. I need you. I love you. Ruth couldn’t keep the tears from falling. Why did God have to take him so early?
Gone were the dreams of the two of them growing old together. She was now destined to live a life alone. Would she become like her mother-in-law Naomi, who had seemed to age twenty-five years in the time her husband Eli had been gone? Would her eyes hold the same despair, the bitterness of a life of loneliness?
How could she keep on breathing? How could she bear this pain that felt like a hundred bricks pressing down on her heart? Why couldn’t she have been the one with Mahlon instead of his brother Leon? At least then they would have died together and Olivia would still have her husband.
Her hands trembled as she forced them together and offered an inaudible prayer. God, please. Take me too. I don’t want to keep living if Mahlon isn’t here by my side. I don’t want to live this life alone. I love him so much, Lord. I’m not ready to let him go. Please! I just can’t…
Ruth hurried down the stairs, through the kitchen, and dashed out of the house. The air inside had become too stifling. The pressure was too much. She couldn’t breathe. She sprinted toward the field. Maybe the fresh air would help. Perhaps the sunshine would ease some of this pain.
She crumpled to the ground and hugged her knees, allowing the tears to fall. This was so hard. How could she do this alone? How could she fall asleep each night without Mahlon by her side? How could she live through the toils of this life without her beloved?
“Ten years is not enough, God.” Her tears continued to fall as she cried out. “I need him here with me.”
A nudge on her shoulder caused her to lift her head. Timber.
Could he possibly know that his master was gone? She lifted her hand to the stallion’s face and rose to meet him. She pressed her face close to the animal, stroking his mane and neck.
“He’s gone, Timber. Mahlon’s gone. He’s not coming back.” More tears escaped her lashes.
Timber stood sentry, like a rock of comfort. Did he understand? Was he mourning too?
Somehow, having her beloved’s horse there was like having a small piece of Mahlon present. Almost like an embrace from him.
“You understand, don’t you, boy?” She rubbed his neck.
She felt the slightest little bit of burden gently lift from her shoulders. Timber knew. He might not fully understand, but he could sense her grief. This usually-spirited animal simply stood with her in her anguish.
Mahlon may have been gone, but he’d left a wonderful gift behind. Timber.
TWENTY-ONE
It had been six months since the death of her husband, yet it seemed like yesterday. Each day Ruth awakened without Mahlon by her side—holding her, kissing her, speaking softly in her ear—the soul-crushing pain returned, reminding her that she was alone, that she’d never again be held by her beloved’s strong arms. Would this aching ever stop?
She hadn’t been alone in her loneliness, though. She was well aware that Olivia also suffered loss, and she couldn’t even imagine Naomi’s plight. She now studied her mother-in-law, attempting to fathom what she was thinking. Naomi folded the letter she’d read nearly ten times today, it seemed. Ruth wondered at the contents, but she wouldn’t ask. It was none of her business.
“You must go back to your families now, dochdern.” Naomi’s voice sounded resolute, which piqued Ruth’s curiosity even more.
Ruth set her sandwich down on the plate and stared at her mother-in-law. “What do you mean? You want us to move out?”
“The drought is long over. The crops are growing well and there’s plenty of food now. I’m moving back home to Pennsylvania, to join my people once again. I need to get away from this place and all the heartache it has brought. It’s time.”
Tears sprang to Ruth’s eyes and she shared a bewildered glance with Olivia. “No, I don’t want you to leave.”
“You and Olivia are still young. You can stay here and remarry Englischers. You don’t need me here. It’s not like I’ll have another son for you. There’s no sense in wasting your life.”
“We will go with you,” Olivia insisted.
Ruth nodded in agreement.
Naomi shook her head. “No, it’s better if you stay. You can go back to your families, jah? There is nothing in Pennsylvania for you.”
“She’s right, Ruthie. We don’t even know anyone there,” Olivia reasoned. “At least here we have our friends and family.”
Ruth frowned. “But you will be there, Naomi. You are all I have left of Mahlon. You have been so kind to me. I won’t leave my husband’s mother alone. My home isn’t with my family anymore, you know how my father felt about Mahlon and me. He never did approve of our union. My place is with you now. You are my family.”
“But you have no family in Pennsylvania and mine are Amish.”
“Ruthie, Naomi is right. If we stay here, we can remain Englisch.” Obviously, Olivia had made up her mind to stay. “I’m going to go start packing my things.”
Olivia hesitated momentarily and placed a hand on Naomi’s forearm. “I will miss you, Naomi. You too, Ruthie. Thank you both for everything. Know that I love you and I wish you the best.”
“Denki, dochder. I wish you the best as well. Der Herr be with you.” Naomi turned from Olivia to Ruth. “You should take heed.”
Ruth looked after Olivia forlornly as her sister-in-law left to pack her things. How could she give all this up so effortlessly? Did Olivi
a not feel the same connection she did? This was part of her heritage now, her posterity.
“Being Englisch doesn’t matter to me. I’ll have you. You’re the only family I need.” Ruth couldn’t imagine not taking care of Naomi the rest of her days. That was the Amish way, wasn’t it? Since Mahlon was gone, it was her duty now. It was what he would have wanted. She could at least honor his memory in this way. She couldn’t let Naomi go to Pennsylvania all by herself.
“You don’t know the ways of my people. You will feel out of place. They might look down on you. You’re different from us.”
Ruth glanced down at her cape dress. She and Mahlon had sold her car after Eli had passed away, so she was used to traveling in a horse-drawn buggy. She’d already learned many Amish ways. Yes, she’d been born an Englischer, she couldn’t deny that. But in her heart, she very much felt Amish. “I know I am, but I can learn. You’ve already taught me so much.”
“It’s more than just canning and quilting and wearing Plain clothing, Ruthie.”
“I know that. I’ve seen how you and Eli and Mahlon and Leon were. Your devotion. I love your people and your way of life. I want that life for me. For my future. I will go with you.” She set her face as a flint. “Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God. I won’t leave you.”
“Can I not persuade you otherwise?”
“No. I insist on going with you.”
“It will be a hard life.”
“I’m not afraid. We will have God on our side, right?”
“I don’t feel like God’s been on my side for many years now.”
“That’s not true. You have many blessings.” Ruth hoped she’d look on the bright side. Life seemed much easier when focusing on everything that was good in life as opposed to focusing on the bad. “You’re alive. You’re healthy. You still have me.”
Naomi seemed to ignore Ruth’s words. “I’ll contact a realtor tomorrow and we’ll leave at the end of the week.”
“The end of the week?” It was so soon…
An Amish Blessing Page 9