“Hsu-Ling, I’m so hot.” Lexa hated the whine in her voice. “I don’t know how you guys stand it. I’d die if I lived here.”
Hsu-Ling looked at her with worried eyes. “You get used to it. What if we go get shaved ice?”
“Do we have to go outside?” Lexa was only half joking. She’d been looking forward to this trip for so long. But she couldn’t make her body sit up.
Hsu-Ling didn’t answer, and Lexa heard her crawl out of the room. Lexa closed her eyes, hoping the cool air would revive her. She couldn’t spend the whole summer lying down like this. There was so much she wanted to see and eat and do with her Taiwanese family.
She heard someone walk into her room, and even before she opened her eyes, she knew it was her baba. He always smelled like sandalwood, a fresh-cut woodsy scent. “Poor Chi,” he said. “You’re melting, aren’t you?”
Lexa struggled to sit up. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It takes getting used to,” he said. “And we’re having a heat wave right now. Plus you’re jet-lagged. You’ll feel better in a few days.”
She nodded, hoping he was right. Her mom had left that morning for Japan. She was going to visit her friends in Tokyo for the next few weeks before flying home from there. They’d decided Lexa was going to fly home by herself at the end of summer now that she was fourteen. She was excited to be on her own for the first time, but there it was, her mom not even gone a day, and she was miserable.
“I tell you what,” Baba said. “Why don’t we visit Uncle Pong in his new ice-cream store? It’s air-conditioned, and the ice cream will cool you off.”
“Yes!” Hsu-Ling said from the doorway. “Uncle Pong has the best ice cream.”
“Okay.” Lexa nodded.
Pin-Yen poked her head into the room. “Ah-Ma is here. She wants to show Lexa the necklace they gave Hsu-Ling when she was born.” Something in Pin-Yen’s voice made Lexa look up, but Pin-Yen was looking at Hsu-Ling. “Hsu-Ling, you should be at buxiban. You have to do well on the next math exam to make up for that bad test score.”
“That wasn’t a bad score. She only missed one question.” Baba gave his wife an exasperated look. “And besides, her sister is here. She can miss buxiban for a few days.”
Pin-Yen placed her hands on her hips. “It wasn’t perfect. Go study while Ah-Ma visits with Lexa.”
“No.” Hsu-Ling stuck out her bottom lip.
Pin-Yen stared at her without answering, and after a moment, Hsu-Ling caved and, with a loud huff, went to her room.
Lexa walked into the living room. Ah-Ma sat on the blue couch, a red velvet bag in her hand. “Chi-ah, sit here.” Ah-Ma touched Lexa’s arm. “Aiya, you’re so tan,” she said in Mandarin. “You should stay out of the sun.”
“My friends are all tan,” Lexa said.
“In Taiwan, we value pale complexions.” Pin-Yen spoke from the doorway of her daughter’s room. “Like Hsu-Ling’s skin. She’s got the perfect skin.”
“Hsu-Ling does have pretty skin.” Lexa nodded her head in agreement. She looked down at her tanned arms and legs and gave a laugh. “Not me.”
Pin-Yen muttered as she headed to the kitchen, and Lexa flushed. She was pretty sure Pin-Yen had just said Lexa wasn’t really Taiwanese. Lexa thought she looked like everyone else here, but Pin-Yen kept pointing out she wasn’t Asian enough.
Ah-Ma distracted her by handing her a gold necklace.
“It’s so pretty.” Lexa admired the delicate gold chain with small charms dangling from it, ending in a ruby surrounded by small diamonds.
“It’s real gold and gemstones.” Hsu-Ling poked her head out of her room.
Ah-Ma nodded. “We gave one to all our granddaughters when they were born.”
“Ah-Ma is keeping it for me until I’m fourteen; then I get to wear it for special occasions,” Hsu-Ling said.
Lexa handed the necklace back to Ah-Ma. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
“Good. I’ll pick something like this for you.” Ah-Ma patted Lexa on the cheek and stood. “I have to get back to Ah-Gong. He’s not feeling well.”
“Can I keep the necklace for today?” Hsu-Ling came out of her room. “We’re going to Uncle Pong’s for ice cream, but I want to wear it when I come back.”
“You’re not going for ice cream, Hsu-Ling,” her mother called from the kitchen. “You have to study.”
Ah-Ma’s brows rose at Pin-Yen’s tone, but she nodded at Hsu-Ling. “I’ll get it from you later.”
Hsu-Ling crawled forward and took the necklace from Ah-Ma before taking it into her room and putting it on her nightstand.
“Come on, let me put your leg on so we can go.” Baba held out Hsu-Ling’s leg.
Pin-Yen came out of the kitchen. “She’s not going.”
Hsu-Ling crawled back into the living room. “I want to go. Please?” When Pin-Yen just shook her head, Hsu-Ling turned to her father and Ah-Ma. “Baba? Ah-Ma?”
“Pin-Yen, her sister is here. Give her a break, huh?” Ah-Ma spoke in a soft voice, but even Lexa heard the steel in her words.
Pin-Yen stared at her mother-in-law. After a moment, she said, “Yes, Ah-Ma. But as soon as she gets back, she needs to study.”
Hsu-Ling cheered, and their father asked, “Are you coming, Pin-Yen?”
Pin-Yen shook her head. “No, you go. I have to go to the market.”
Lexa watched as Hsu-Ling’s parents exchanged a look, and then her baba turned to her with a smile. “Help me get this leg on Hsu-Ling.”
* * *
• • •
Pin-Yen stood in the foyer and leaned against the large blue-and-white porcelain vase that had been there since she married Jing Tao. She wished Jing Tao would let her give it away. It was ugly and too big, but it had been a present from his grandparents, and he refused to part with it. She watched her husband leave the apartment with his two daughters. Her lips pressed together, she narrowed her eyes as a plan took shape in her mind.
* * *
• • •
“ChiChi, you live!” Uncle Pong was behind the counter. “I thought the Taiwan heat wave knocked you out for good.” He smiled at her. “You look stunning.” Lexa blushed, looking down at the sundress she wore. It was white and gauzy with flowers along the bottom and made her feel pretty and grown-up.
Hsu-Ling hopped up and down at Lexa’s side. “What flavor do you want? My favorite is the bubble gum.”
“They all look so good.” Lexa scanned the ice creams in the case. “What’s that one over there?” She couldn’t read or write Chinese as well as she could speak it.
“Good taste.” Uncle Pong nodded in approval. “That’s my new special. It’s coffee ice cream swirled with sweet cream and pieces of white chocolate.”
“Ew.” Hsu-Ling screwed up her face.
“Cone or cup?” Pong asked.
“Cup, please.” She looked around the empty store. “Do you work here all the time?”
“No, I have college kids who work for me. I usually have two on at a time—one at the front and one in back making ice-cream cakes. The girl who was supposed to work up front right now quit on me without warning.” He raised his voice and called out, “Hey, Yung! Come out here.”
Lexa looked up and saw a boy, probably seventeen or eighteen, emerge from the back. He was astonishingly good-looking, with high cheekbones and a flop of hair falling over one eye. He wore a large white apron over his ripped jeans and was holding a spatula in one hand.
“This is Chi, Hsu-Ling’s American sister. She’s visiting from New York.”
The boy raised a hand and said, “Yo.” He studied her from under hooded eyes, and Lexa dropped her gaze, but not before she noted the earring in his left ear.
“Yung just finished his first year at National Taiwan University,” Pong said proudly. “He’s hom
e for the summer.” Lexa knew Taiwan University in Taipei was the top-ranked university in Taiwan, because Hsu-Ling had told her Pin-Yen expected Hsu-Ling to go to medical school there. Lexa had stared because Hsu-Ling wasn’t even eleven yet.
Uncle Pong handed the ice cream to Lexa. She watched as he scooped bubble gum ice cream onto a cone for Hsu-Ling, aware that Yung was watching her.
Self-conscious, she took a spoonful of her ice cream and forgot about the older boy. “This is the best ice cream I’ve ever had.”
Uncle Pong’s chest puffed up with pride. “Jing Tao, your daughter has good taste.”
Lexa looked up to find Yung staring at her. She and her friends talked about boys at school all the time, but she felt as if she were going to wet her pants now that a boy was actually looking at her. For the first time since she’d gotten to Taiwan three days earlier, Lexa wasn’t miserable and hot. The ice cream was cool and delicious, and she loved the vibe of the store, with its candy-colored walls and Chinese pop music playing from the speakers. Plus, there were cute boys who stared at her.
“Hey, I just had a great idea.” Uncle Pong came out from behind the counter. “How would you like to work here in the afternoons when it’s the hottest out?”
“What would I have to do?” Lexa asked, excited. She’d get to work with Yung.
“Serve the customers. Mostly scoop ice cream and ring up sales. Maybe help Yung or me decorate cakes if there aren’t any customers in the store.”
Lexa looked at the intricate flowers and borders on the cakes. “I don’t know how.”
Pong waved a hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you.”
“What do you think, Chi?” her baba asked. “Do you want Pong to put you to work?”
“No!” Hsu-Ling wailed. “I don’t want her working here! She’s supposed to be visiting us, not working for Uncle Pong.”
“It’d only be for a few hours, xiao mei,” Uncle Pong said. “The rest of the time, she’s all yours.”
Lexa smiled at him. “I’d love to work here.”
“I’d pay you, of course.”
Lexa shook her head. “I don’t care. I could work for ice cream. I love ice cream.”
Uncle Pong raised a hand, and Lexa gave him a high five; then he pulled her in for a hug. She grinned up at him and, on impulse, gave him a kiss on the cheek. Seeing the scowl on Hsu-Ling’s face, Lexa went to her sister. She wanted to reassure Hsu-Ling they’d still have plenty of time together that summer. She had no idea that these were some of the last moments she’d spend with her sister.
23
Lexa stopped talking when the phone suddenly rang, making them both jump. Lexa had been so focused on the story that it took her a moment to remember she was in New York in Hsu-Ling’s hotel room, and not back in Taiwan.
Hsu-Ling reached over to answer the phone.
“Yes. Okay. Send her up. Thank you.” Hsu-Ling hung up and turned to Lexa. “Maddie’s here.”
“She’s early,” Lexa said in surprise. She got off the bed and walked to the door, opening it to wait for Maddie to arrive.
Lexa felt the air change the minute Maddie stepped into the hotel room. She introduced them, but neither spoke; instead, they sized up each other with their eyes.
Maddie was the first to speak. “What happened? What did you say to upset Lexa?”
“Maddie.” Lexa rolled her eyes at her. “Don’t be rude.”
“Fine. Nice to meet you.” Maddie’s chilly tone indicated it was anything but nice.
Hsu-Ling had stood as soon as Maddie came in, and now she nodded at Maddie. “Nice to meet you too.” Gone was the warmth and enthusiasm she’d shown around Lexa. Her tone matched Maddie’s. The tension in the hotel room was so thick Lexa could almost taste it.
Lexa closed her eyes. This wasn’t how she’d pictured her two sisters meeting for the first time. Praying for strength, she opened her eyes and injected cheer into her voice. “Come on, guys. Lighten up. My two sisters are meeting for the first time. This is big!”
“You look awful.” Maddie scowled at Lexa.
“Thanks.” Lexa made a face at her.
“Are you okay?” Maddie asked.
Lexa sat at the edge of the bed. “We were just talking about what happened the last time we saw each other.”
“What happened?”
When Lexa didn’t answer, Maddie said, “Jesus Christ. I’m so sick of all this secrecy.” Maddie turned to Hsu-Ling. “Tell me what the hell happened in Taiwan all those years ago. What did you and your family do to Lexa to make her not want to go back there?”
“Maddie.” Lexa reached out a hand to stop Maddie. “She had nothing to do with it. She was only ten at the time.”
“I didn’t know what happened,” Hsu-Ling said. “Lexa was just telling me.”
Maddie snorted. “Yeah, right. You didn’t know what happened.”
“What’s your problem?” Hsu-Ling threw up her hands. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know enough to know that you all did something to Lexa to make her not want to even talk about what happened that summer.”
Hsu-Ling placed her hands on her hips and glared at Maddie. “You don’t know shit about anything.” Lexa was taken aback. She’d never heard Hsu-Ling curse in English. It sounded like “sheet” when she said it. “Just like I don’t know what happened that summer either.”
Lexa dropped her head into her hands. She’d always known Maddie was jealous of Hsu-Ling, but she’d thought Hsu-Ling had been looking forward to meeting Maddie. Why did they sound like they hated each other?
“Guys. Stop it.” Lexa stood and moved so that she was directly between her sisters. “If you two would calm down, I’ll tell you everything.”
Maddie turned to Lexa. “Ever since you came back from Taiwan that summer, you haven’t been the same. You used to include me in everything, but you stopped doing that.” She sounded wistful. “It felt like you and Mom had a secret you didn’t want me to know.”
“Maddie, we didn’t keep a secret from you on purpose.”
“Hsu-Ling knows.”
“I don’t,” Hsu-Ling shot back.
“It’s not a competition,” Lexa said.
“You’re my sister.” Maddie sat next to Lexa. “I should be the one to help you.”
“Hsu-Ling is my sister too.”
“Did someone abuse you? Were you molested?” Maddie blurted.
There was a stunned silence before Lexa found her voice. “No! Why would you think that?”
Hsu-Ling spoke up. “It was my mom. She was the one who hurt Lexa.”
Maddie turned to Hsu-Ling. “Your mom? What does she have to do with anything? I thought it was your father who did something to Lexa.”
“No.” Hsu-Ling reached over and grabbed Lexa’s hands. “Why does my mother hate you so much? What did she do to you?”
24
July, Twenty-Two Years Ago
Taichung, Taiwan
Lexa wiped the counter and sighed with happiness. She loved working in the ice-cream store. That day was her first day, and it was turning out to be the best job ever. She got to taste the ice cream, and Yung had spoken five words to her. He’d said in Mandarin, “Ni hao, mei guo ren.”
Uncle Pong had laughed. “Don’t call her an American. She’s Taiwanese too.”
Yung studied Lexa. “Are you part white? You don’t look completely Asian.”
Lexa looked down and could feel her cheeks turning red. She’d thought she looked like everyone else around there. Why did people keep pointing out that she didn’t really fit in?
Uncle Pong had showed her how to use the soft-serve machine and how much ice cream to scoop for each size. She’d gotten the hang of the cash register right away, and he’d said, “You’re smarter than some of the college kids who apply h
ere.” He’d stayed at the front with her for the first hour, but now he’d gone back into his office. She was proud to be trusted with his whole store. She couldn’t wait to email her mom and dad and tell them about her job.
“Chi, is there anyone in the store?” Uncle Pong called from the back.
“No.”
“Come on back. Yung and I can show you how to decorate the cakes. We’ll hear the bell if anyone comes in.”
“Okay.” She put down the cloth.
Decorating cakes was easier than she thought. They showed her how to fill the pastry bags with the frosting and then how to twist the end shut.
“You need a steady hand,” Uncle Pong said. They watched Yung pipe a border on a cake.
“Here, you try it.” Yung handed her the bag.
Her first border wasn’t as smooth as Yung’s, but it was passable.
“Nice.” Yung nodded in approval.
“Thanks.” She snuck a peek at him, and he smiled at her.
She finished the white border, and then Uncle Pong said, “Why don’t you get the tub of pink icing from the walk-in freezer? You can pipe that while Yung finishes the rest of the white.”
“Sure,” Lexa said.
Yung looked up from the cake he was working on. “You got it? It’s really heavy.”
“I can do it.” Lexa headed for the freezer. Uncle Pong had showed it to her the day before. It was gigantic and filled with tubs of ice cream, icing of all colors, and all sorts of other supplies. She left the door cracked so the light would stay on, just like Uncle Pong had shown her.
She found the pink icing at the front of the freezer. She had just picked it up when the door opened behind her. She caught her breath and turned to find Yung standing at the door. He let the door close partway so it felt like they were alone in the icy coldness.
She let out a nervous giggle, and before she could move, he walked to her and put his arms around the tub of icing so that their arms touched. Ohmigod, she thought to herself. Yung and I are hugging the same tub.
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