by Martha Carr
“Well, Corian’s not here.” Cheyenne glanced at the goblins. “Even if we had room for you at our place, I think you’re safer staying right here.”
Lumil frowned. “Why would we need to be safer?”
“So I don’t kill you guys when you inevitably start nagging each other while I’m trying to focus on important stuff.” The halfling pointed at them and stepped through the portal. “I’ll text you if anything comes up.”
“You don’t have our numbers, kid!”
“I do.” Maleshi grinned at them and offered a mocking bow before disappearing through the portal.
Ember stared at the goblins, shrugged apologetically, and followed.
The portal popped closed again, and Lumil smacked a fist into her hand. “This is bullshit.”
“This is what happens when you can’t keep your fists to yourself, asshole.”
“Don’t blame me.” The goblin woman lunged at Byrd, but he leaped out of the way and scowled at her. “You’re the one always pissing me off.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure. Blame everyone else for your anger-management issues.”
Lumil balled her fists and almost summoned the spinning red runes before remembering who else was sharing Persh’al’s private warehouse with them, without Persh’al. She glanced at the door to L’zar’s room and lowered her voice. “Let’s take this outside.”
Byrd shot L’zar’s door a sidelong glance and cleared his throat. “Yeah, good idea.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
In their Pellerville Gables apartment, Cheyenne cocked her head at Maleshi and gave her a pert smile. “Thanks for the backup.”
“Are you kidding me? Corian likes to toss orders around whenever he gets the chance. Honestly, I’m a little surprised he didn’t consider your Crown offer for longer than a few seconds. That doesn’t mean every order he gives is worth listening to.”
“So, you don’t think we’re in any danger?” Ember asked, flopping onto the couch with a burst of violet fae magic.
“Eh. Maybe, maybe not. You two have pretty much everything you need at this point to figure out what’s worth your time.” The general opened another portal into her own house and nodded at Cheyenne. “I’ll text you the contact info for Thing One and Thing Two. Don’t forget to loop me into the group text or whatever.”
“Thanks.” Cheyenne headed for one of their black leather recliners, then stopped. “Oh, hey. You’d mentioned getting back to normal human life, and seeing as we both missed our classes yesterday, any pointers on how to cover my ass for missed time?”
The general winked at her and clicked her tongue. “I got you, kid. Already taken care of.”
“What? Really?”
“You bet. Look, I wish I had more time to chat about it, but I’ll fill you in later. Right now, I have a giant jacuzzi tub in my master bathroom singing my name. Stay in touch, got it?”
“Right. Thanks.”
“You deserve it, Cheyenne, and a lot more than that, but hey. Baby steps.” Maleshi stepped through the portal, tossing her hand over her shoulder in a goodbye wave without turning around to look at either of them.
The portal popped shut, and Cheyenne slowly lowered herself into the recliner. “Holy shit.”
“I know, right?” Ember gave her friend a lazy smile and leaned back against the couch cushion. “Only two days without our own furniture, and it feels like two years.”
“You did a really good job on these, Em.”
“Yeah. You’re welcome.”
They sat there in silence, enjoying the comfort of being home, then Cheyenne shifted and pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her black jeans. “Of course my phone’s dead.”
“Zapped by the in-between. Hey, phones don’t work on the other side, right? I never bothered to check mine.”
“Nope. Even with a full battery, they just shut off.” Cheyenne tested that by holding the power button, and the screen lit up. “Okay. I guess I don’t need a charge.”
Her phone buzzed eight times in quick succession, pulling up one notification after another of missed call, voicemail, missed call, voicemail.
“Jesus.”
“What’s up?” Ember raised her eyebrows, though her eyes were already closed as she lay sprawled on the couch.
“Eleanor made a lot of calls in the last thirty-six hours. Well, I guess just three. Huh. And a voicemail from Rhynehart.”
Ember sat up and frowned. “He does not seem like the kinda guy who wants his voice recorded on someone else’s phone.”
Cheyenne snorted. “Very true. It’s the first time he’s left one for me.”
“Well? Fucking listen to it.” Ember slumped back onto the couch. “You can put it on speaker if you want. I don’t mind.”
With a muffled laugh, Cheyenne did that and played Rhynehart’s message:
“Cheyenne, I want you to call me when you figure out what’s happening with Colonel T.” He paused and muttered something unintelligible, and a door closed softly in the background. Then he cleared his throat. “Assuming you found something. It’s kinda hard to believe you won’t. Anyway, let me know. I want in.”
The message ended, and Cheyenne cocked her head at her phone’s screen. “He wants in.”
“I’d say that’s a good sign, but you don’t sound happy about it.”
“I mean, the least he could’ve done was add a please to the end of it.”
Ember laughed. “Right. To reciprocate for all the times you used courtesy and your surprisingly well-honed manners. When you wanna use them.”
“Hey, I’m not shutting him out for not being polite. I’m just saying it’d be nice, okay? After all the shit he pulled on me, I still helped him out with turning over the new portal at my mom’s place. Shit, I’ve solved every single shitty puzzle the FRoE couldn’t handle on their own for them, and I could’ve just not told him about Colonel Les Thomas stinkin’ up the FRoE men in black from the inside out.”
“True.” Ember stretched both arms far behind her head over the armrest. “But he did help you break a giant-sized, four-armed lizard necromancer without his magic out of Chateau D’rahl.”
Cheyenne slumped back. Her phone dropped into her lap, and she almost laughed when her shoulders let off only a small twinge of discomfort. Go, darktongue serum. Hopefully, it lasts a little longer this time.
“Whatever. I’m not keeping score of who’s done more favors, Em.”
“Sure, you aren’t.”
“Rhynehart can wait a little longer to hear about the colonel’s meetup with the Bull’s Head. Oh, man, he’s really not gonna like what I get to send his way about that one.”
With a small chuckle, Ember snuggled farther into the soft couch cushions. “He doesn’t like anything you send his way.”
“Probably ‘cause I always end up being right.”
“Okay. The halfling’s getting a big head, and we haven’t even been Earthside for ten minutes.”
“That’s why I keep you around, Em. Didn’t you know? Go ahead and add shrinking my head to the list of your most redeeming qualities while I figure out what’s going on with Bianca.” Cheyenne picked up her phone again, blinking quickly and frowning at the screen as she pulled up all three voicemails her mom’s housekeeper had left since yesterday morning.
“Don’t redeeming qualities need something to be redeemed from?”
“Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.” Her finger hovered over the play button on Eleanor’s first message, but she tapped the woman’s name instead to start a call and put it on speakerphone again.
“Cutting right to the chase, huh?”
“Yeah, I figure it’ll be easier if I can ask her questions in real-time. More often than not, her messages don’t make sense.”
The phone rang four times and got through half a fifth before the line was picked up. “Cheyenne!”
“Hey, Eleanor.”
“Is everything okay? I left you three messages, didn’t get a reply. You know, if you’re to
o busy to pick up the phone, you can text me. I do have a cell phone.”
“I know. Sorry, I was out of range. You know, different world and everything.”
“Out of service? Cheyenne, I’ve never known you to stay away from cell or internet service for more than twelve hours at a time.”
Ember snorted and covered her mouth.
Cheyenne forced herself not to laugh. “Yeah, Eleanor, cell phones and the internet aren’t a thing over there.”
“Over where…oh. Oh!” Eleanor chuckled in embarrassment, and a thick rustling came over the phone. “You know, I didn’t stop to think about that. Of course, there’s no cell service in a different world full of… Well, you know what I’m talking about.’
“Sure do.”
“Wait, they don’t have phones at all, right?”
Ember turned her head into the couch cushion to muffle her laughter. Cheyenne took the phone off speaker and lifted it to her ear. “No. No phones.”
“Good. That’s a very hard thing to imagine.”
“How’s Mom doing?”
“Well, she’s fine. Didn’t you listen to my voicemails?”
“Nope. Sorry. I figured I’d call you and get the details straight from the source.”
Eleanor hummed in consideration, and the sound of ice clinking into more than one glass came over the line. “Bianca’s doing as well as can be expected, sweetheart. Better even, in some ways.”
I hope she’s not making both of those drinks for herself. “Better how?”
“Oh. She woke up.”
“What?” Cheyenne lurched forward in the recliner. “She woke up?”
Ember rolled over on her other side and raised her eyebrows. The halfling shrugged, turned the phone back on speaker for her friend’s benefit, and listened intently.
“Yes. Yesterday morning at around ten-thirty. It wasn’t that long after you and your friends left.”
My friends. I guess everybody’s my friend now. “And she’s okay?”
“Yes, Cheyenne. She can walk, talk, eat, and dress, as long as it doesn’t take her longer than ten minutes. You know, all these years, and I didn’t realize until now how much she doesn’t ask me to do for her. I’ve probably dropped five pounds in the last two days running around the house for every little thing.”
“She’s lucky to have you, Eleanor. Thank you.”
“Of course. Even if it weren’t my job, sweetheart, I’d still be here doing all the heavy lifting. That’s mostly figurative these days. You should come up to see us if you can. I think it would really improve her mood.”
“She’s pissed about the whole thing, isn’t she?”
Eleanor hummed into the phone again. “To put it bluntly, yes. But she’s processing it all in classic, effortless Bianca Summerlin style.”
“So, she’s trying to pretend it never happened and won’t talk about it.”
“Well, it’s only been two days. Seeing you might help. It certainly couldn’t hurt.”
“Yeah, I’ll come up later tonight. Got a few things I have to take care of in town, but then I’ll be there.”
“Wonderful. Oh, and bring Ember too. Having her up here with us is always so nice. Make sure she’s not, you know, pink and purple.”
Cheyenne raised her eyebrows at Ember, who grinned at the cell phone. “Yeah, she’ll be there too. I’ll call again in a few hours, okay?”
“Thank you. See you soon.” Eleanor hung up, and Cheyenne set the phone in her lap, blinking in surprise.
“Bianca’s awake.”
Ember pushed herself up to sit on the couch again. “So I heard. I’m surprised you didn’t ask how.”
“I mean, it doesn’t really matter at this point. No more curse-coma. But I know she’s gonna be all tense and angry when we get there.” She returned the phone to her back pocket and shrugged. “I don’t know how Eleanor’s put up with her for more than two decades.”
Ember feigned a contemplative frown. “Yeah. I can’t imagine what it would be like to stick around with someone who can be so difficult to deal with on a day-to-day basis.”
“Ha.” Cheyenne pointed at her friend. “I see what you did there.”
“Oh, good. I wasn’t trying to be subtle.”
“Whatever.” With a soft chuckle, Cheyenne stood and headed toward her bedroom on the far end of the apartment past the mini loft. “I’m finally gonna change out of these clothes, then I have to go check out the old apartment. Can’t leave that troll family hanging if anyone working for Ruuv’i gets even a whiff of them knowing me, and I’ve been in their apartment plenty of times.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Ember dropped back against the couch and closed her eyes. “I’ll be here, drowning myself in gratitude for really fantastic upholstery.”
“Yeah, okay. Don’t get too comfy. I’d hate to see what you might do to me if I got between you and your beauty sleep.”
With a snort, Ember flipped the halfling the bird.
Chapter Twenty-Five
An hour later, Cheyenne and Ember stepped out of the halfling’s Porsche Panamera and headed across the parking lot toward her old apartment building. The old man who had the apartment below hers returned to his front door on the ground floor, his dog trotting obediently at his side and panting in satisfaction. He glanced at Cheyenne, did a double-take, and stared as she and Ember hurried up the staircase in the open-air hallway.
“Hey, man.” Cheyenne nodded at him. “Been a while.”
“I wondered what happened to you.”
“Just been doing a lot of traveling lately. Came by to check on my apartment before I head off again.”
“Uh-huh.” The older man followed them with his gaze as they moved up the open staircase, his hand clenched around the doorknob on his half-open door. “Safe travels.”
When they reached Cheyenne’s floor, Ember muffled a laugh and leaned toward the halfling. “He was looking at you like he thought you were dead or something.”
“Wouldn’t that be great? If there was a way for me to fake my death over here without losing the trust, I’d probably give it a shot.”
“Hey, I’m already spending your money. You could just sign it all over to me.”
“Not without getting raped by taxes, Em, but I see how it is.”
Ember sniggered. “Yep. I’ve only been friends with you for five years and agreed to be your Nós Aní groupie and go with you back and forth across the border just to get at your Summerlin fortune.”
“I knew it.”
They reached her old apartment, and Cheyenne didn’t even bother to take her keys out of her pocket. She gestured at the cracked-open door and grimaced. “Look at this shit. They broke the lock. The doorknob’s ready to fall out.”
She jiggled the knob to demonstrate, then dropped it again.
Ember shook her head. “No respect. No respect at all.”
“Yeah, okay, Rodney.” Cheyenne snorted and pushed open the door.
“Oh, okay. You didn’t know a single Marvel character before you met me, but now you’re calling out Rodney Dangerfield quotes?”
“I had a thing for standup in high school, okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
They stepped into the apartment together and froze. Most of the small living room was covered in graffiti. The heavy wood executive desk she hadn’t gotten around to moving into the new apartment tilted precariously after having had two of its legs hacked off. Her executive leather desk chair was gone, and what little else she’d kept in the place, dishes, silverware, packets of ramen noodles, and the clothes she hadn’t taken with her were strewn everywhere. The bashed-in bedroom door she’d neglected to fix after her first attempt at spellcasting now rested against the wall instead of on its hinges.
“Well, shit.” Cheyenne shoved her hands in her pockets and turned around. “I mean, I’m diggin’ the artwork.”
“You didn’t leave anything valuable in here, did you?” Ember ran a hand over her hair.
“Nope. I
mean, except for the chair, but that’s already gone. I need a new one anyway.”
“Damn. Three weeks. That’s all it took, and you’re still paying for this place.”
“It’s whatever, Em.” Cheyenne peered into her bedroom and found the same disarray inside, complete with a graffitied hand raising the middle finger next to the anarchy symbol in dripping black paint that had long since dried. “At least somebody’s been having a good time with this place. More than I ever did.”
“Oh, my God.” Ember burst out laughing, and when Cheyenne hurried out of the hallway again, she found the fae doubled over and pointing at a large basket on the floor beside the counter.
“What?”
“The fucking underwear.” Ember floated backward across the floor to give Cheyenne a better view and cracked up again. “Nobody… I mean, there’s still…”
Stepping closer, Cheyenne peered into the basket to see every single pair of brightly colored underwear, courtesy of Yadje and R’mahr’s tailoring skills, still inside. Except for the one I found on Ba’rael’s creepy-ass altar.
The halfling snorted. “Can’t blame ‘em, right?”
Ember’s laughter finally calmed down, and she ran a hand over her illusioned brown hair. “That’s just sad.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” Cheyenne’s smile faded. “I bet whoever grabbed the picture and a pair of that freaky underwear got a real kick out of leaving the door wide open when they left.”
“It’s not like you were coming back anytime soon.”
“Yeah, I’m not worried about this, but I do wanna check on the trolls.”
Ember sniggered at the basket of underwear again and turned to follow the halfling back into the hall. “I finally get to meet the weirdest O’gúleesh family this side of the Border, huh?”
“Oh, they’ll love you.” Cheyenne lowered her voice and eyed the troll family’s front door two apartments down. “Don’t say anything about the underwear. It was a big thing the last time.”
The fae mimed zipping her lips and tossing away a key.
The smell of pancakes and buttered asparagus wafted from beneath the door, and Cheyenne frowned with her raised fist poised to knock. “Just expect weirdness and some awkward misinterpretations.”