Nikki cleared her throat and said, "I just…" She looked over at Dani standing just a few feet away. "Shit." She quickly turned and walked out of the door.
Her quick departure concerned Alex. She was afraid she’d misjudged their budding friendship and went too far with her teasing. About to go after her, she looked over at Dani who stood with both hands clamped over her mouth and tears streaming down her cheeks, as her body shook with laughter. Alex smiled at her obvious amusement. "You’d better go after her and apologize."
Dani finally removed her hands from her mouth and wiped her tears. "Me? You’re the one that said it, not me."
"Yes, but you are the one that laughed at her." Dani snickered again. "She needs you, Dani." At her questioning look Alex added, "Trust me." She nodded and quickly followed her sister out of the room.
Alex wheeled into the bathroom and shut the door. She opened the large shopping bag and reviewed the choices before her. A quick inventory revealed several T-shirts and tank tops in various bright colors, and two pair of long cotton shorts in dark gray. As she pulled out a T-shirt and shorts, she noticed the sports bra. With a sigh of relief she pulled it from the bag and placed it with her other choices on the edge of the sink. As she began to place the bag on the floor she noticed something else at the bottom. Quickly digging through the clothing she felt the plastic bag and pulled it out. With a smile and shake of her head she inspected the package of blue boyfriend briefs with a large Batman logo on the front.
She quickly dressed as she chuckled over the underwear. She pushed the door open and wheeled back out into the room, noticing that she was still alone. She placed the bag in the drawer of the side table, and pulled out her phone and the brush provided by one of the nurses. She wheeled over, parked in front of the window, and began to brush her hair. She smiled as she recalled the look on Nikki’s face when she’d teased her earlier. The ringing of her cell phone startled her from her musings, and she pressed the button to answer without looking at the caller ID.
"Did you get lost?" she asked, thinking it was Dani. She heard the squeak of the door and looked up into Nikki’s eyes.
Suddenly a disembodied voice said, "Alex? Is that you?"
Her eyes widened. "Emily?" She quickly looked down at the screen on her phone then back up at the group walking into her room.
"Damn it, Alex, where the hell have you been?" She watched as Nikki quickly picked up Madison and walked back out the door. "I’ve been trying to reach you for weeks."
Alex hung her head. "Emily, I —"
"I thought you were dead, Alex."
"I’m sorry, Em."
"You’re always sorry, Alex, but you never change." Emily replied angrily. "Jesus, I seriously thought you were dead. I even checked the morgue for your body."
A tear slid slowly down her cheek as she heard the pain in her friend's voice. "I’m so sorry."
"The morgue, Alex." Emily sighed. "You're such an ass."
Alex wiped her cheek and said, "I know. I'm an ass of monumental proportions and I don’t know why you put up with me."
"Because I remember what you were like before. I miss that Alexis."
"I’m trying, Em, but that Alexis is dead." She paused and the silence was like a weight bearing down on her. "I love you, you’re my best friend."
Emily grunted her disbelief. "I’m your only friend, Alex, but I don’t know how much longer we can keep doing this. Why don’t you call me when you figure out what it is you want from me."
Alex looked down at her phone in time to see the call end. She took a deep breath and tried to pull herself together quickly. Slowly wheeling her chair over near Dani and Rachel she said, "Well, now that we’ve gotten the totally awkward out of the way, I wanted to thank you both for the clothes. Which of you wise guys chose the underwear?" With a chuckle Dani pointed at Rachel.
Rachel smiled. "What can I say? You're my hero. They didn’t have any with angel’s wings, so I got the next best thing."
She carefully stood, placing all of her weight on her right leg, and extended her hand. "I’m Alex, you must be Rachel."
"I am." Rachel smiled and stepped forward, pulling her into a hug. "She’s wrong you know. You have more friends than she is aware of." She pulled back and helped Alex sit back down. "Why didn’t you tell her what happened?"
"Habit I guess." At the quizzical expressions before her she shrugged. "I’ve become a very private person over the years, just one of the many things Emily hates about me these days."
"What else is Emily upset about?" Rachel asked.
Alex grimaced. "She hates the fact that I’m not the Alexis Mohr she used to know. I don’t like public attention anymore and I have issues with strangers."
Rachel looked at her knowingly. "Trust issues?"
"Rachel, honey, you need to stop." Dani looked at Alex and said, "I’m sorry."
Alex gave them both a knowing smile. "It’s okay. Occupational hazard, I suppose."
Rachel blinked several times as her head tilted to one side. "What do you mean?"
Alex shrugged. "I don’t know exactly what letters you have after your name, but you know exactly what questions to ask, and how to ask them." She sat back in the chair and looked down at the cream colored linoleum. "I’ve never been to a shrink before, but I’ve thought about it. It might be time."
Rachel knelt beside the chair and into her line of sight, forcing Alex to look at her. "I can help you with your fear and trust issues, but being an ass is a choice," she said with a grin. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a business card. "Call me if you want to talk. I will always make time for you."
Taking the card, she tucked it into her pocket without looking at it. "Thank you."
Chapter Four
The next few days passed swiftly for Alex. She had physical therapy twice a day and was beginning to make progress. The doctors said she wouldn’t be able to put any weight on her left leg for at least a couple more months, and had a long road of therapy and rehab ahead, but at least she knew she’d walk again. They kept telling her not to get her hopes up too high, that she’d most likely always walk with a pronounced limp, but she refused to let them dampen her enthusiasm. She was fitted for a special brace that would keep her from straightening the leg and placing weight on it. With the brace she was able to use crutches to get around instead of just the wheelchair.
Heading back to her room after her morning workout, she rounded the corner and saw Madison and Dani waiting beside her door. She smiled when Madison noticed her and called out, "Angel!" before launching herself at Alex. The nurse’s aide stopped the chair so she could help Madison climb into her lap and settle on her good leg.
Dani walked up and said, "I’ll take it from here, thank you."
The nurse’s aide nodded, stepped away from the wheelchair, and said, "I’ll see you in a few hours, Alex."
Dani pushed the chair into the room while Alex chatted with Madison. She saw the drooping eyes and felt the small body cuddle closer. "How would you like to lay down with me while I tell you a story?" she asked.
Madison looked at her distrustfully. "I don’t want to take a nap."
"Of course not sweetie, neither do I. I would, however, like to get out of this chair. It makes my back hurt if I sit in it too long." She looked up at Dani with a wink before turning back to Madison. "What do you say?"
"Okay." Madison climbed down off her lap. "I don’t want you to hurt."
Alex smiled and wheeled over beside the bed, pulled a T-shirt from the drawer, and slipped it on over her tank top. She maneuvered the chair into position, and using the newly installed overhead rails, pulled herself into bed. The brace was particularly uncomfortable in bed as she was unable to straighten her leg. She reached down and tried to unhook the straps holding it in place.
Dani saw her struggling. "Do you need some help?" With a sigh of frustration, she nodded. "Not used to asking, are you?" She chuckled as Alex slowly shook her head. "So what exactly do you need me to
do to get this thing off?"
"Will you unhook the bottom two straps please?" she asked as she began to unhook the straps around her knee. "The last strap is a bit trickier I’m afraid." She looked up and bit her lip.
Dani looked down at the brace and noticed that it ran up under the edge of Alex’s shorts. She reached down and ran her hand along the brace searching for the end. She blushed slightly when she realized it ended on Alex's upper thigh.
"Are you okay?" Alex asked. Dani looked over at Madison who waited patiently and nodded. "All right then. I'll pull myself up so you can reach the strap and pull it loose. Once it’s loose, you can slip the brace off."
"Will you be uncomfortable with me having my hands between your legs…" She blushed. "I mean…"
Alex chuckled. "Dani, don’t worry about it. You have nothing to fear, I don’t think of you like that."
"Like what? A lesbian? An attractive woman?" she asked indignantly.
Alex leaned back in the bed and looked up at her friend, surprised by the outburst. "Are we really going to have this conversation right now?" She looked pointedly at Madison.
Dani followed her pointed look and saw her daughter leaning against the foot of the bed, watching curiously. "No, of course not. I’m sorry." She took a deep breath and said, "I’m ready whenever you are." She nodded and grabbed the pole above her head, pulling her lower body up off the bed. Dani reached around and pulled the strap, separating the hook and loop fastener, and loosening the brace enough to remove it.
Alex made herself comfortable and called Madison up beside her. Once she was settled in she said, "Let me tell you a story about Millie the Monkey."
The little girl's eyes widened and she smiled with excitement. "Millie the Monkey lives in the jungle by the river with lots of other monkeys."
Alex looked up at Dani, her eyes full of surprise. "It's one of her favorite stories. I’ve had to buy the book twice because she wore out the first one." Unable to read the emotions that crossed Alex's face too fast to decipher, she said, "If it's the only one you know, she’d still be very happy to hear it."
Alex smiled and nodded. She took a deep breath and tried to reign in her emotions. "Well, Miss Maddy, did you know that Millie had more than one adventure in her jungle?" Madison shook her head, her eyes wide with delight as she waited to hear Millie’s next adventure. She began to tell a story of a monkey that wandered too far away from the safety of its family, and how the sleek jaguar that saved the little monkey from falling into the river, could just have easily hurt her. Madison’s eyes began to droop as she snuggled closer.
"Does Millie make it back to her family?" she asked.
"Millie climbed on the back of her new friend and they headed off through the jungle in search of Millie’s family," Alex replied. She continued the story as she watched Madison slowly fall asleep. When she was sure the little girl was deeply asleep, she turned to see her mother watching with a smile.
"You're good with children." There was no mistaking the pain that swept across her features. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories."
Alex blinked rapidly and took a deep breath in an effort to banish the tears, and the memories that caused them. When she felt her emotions were sufficiently under control, she looked over at Dani with a weak smile. "Would you…" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Would you mind handing me that notebook and pen?" When she placed it in her hand, she quickly opened the notebook to a blank page and began to write down the outline for the story she’d just told Madison.
"I’ve looked everywhere for more Millie books for Madison, and can’t find them anywhere. I was beginning to think the author didn’t write any more. Where did you find the story you just told her?" Dani asked.
Alex looked down at Madison and watched her sleep for a minute before she answered. "I know the author. She wrote the first book for her unborn child, and intended to write many more, but life threw her a curveball." She looked up at Dani with a sad expression. "Her relationship ended rather abruptly, and she lost her unborn child. Suddenly she lost the desire to publish the remaining stories." She looked back down at a peaceful Madison and smiled. "She really likes it that much?" she asked.
Dani’s eyes widened and she reached out for the notebook, snatching it from the bed before Alex could stop her. She scanned the notes and realized what it was. "Oh my God." She looked up with a startled expression and tears in her eyes. "You wrote Millie the Monkey?"
"What gave me away?" Alex asked.
Dani sat quietly, with a blank face and vacant expression, as she tried to process the information she’d just learned about her new friend. The thought of losing Madison was devastating; she didn’t know how Alex had survived. She stood and walked over to the window. Looking out into the overcast day, she whispered, "I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through."
"I'm glad, and pray you never do." Alex pulled herself up out of the bed and settled into her wheelchair, careful not to wake the sleeping child. She wheeled over to Dani who turned to her with pain filled eyes. She stood and pulled her into her arms.
"Shouldn’t I be comforting you?" Dani asked as she hugged her.
"You are." She pulled away and sat back down. "Enough tears and sadness for one day. How about a change of subject?"
"Agreed." Dani pulled her chair over beside the window and sat down. She looked at Alex speculatively.
"What?" She saw the questions in her friend's eyes and knew she wasn’t going to like where this was headed.
"You confuse me." Dani smiled as Alex sat quietly and waited, squirming slightly. "Tell me something." She paused and watched her closely as she asked, "Are you straight or are you a lesbian?"
Alex sat back and thought about her life. There was a time when she’d been so far into the closet it was perpetually dark. She’d worked hard for years to fit the image of a straight female athlete, and avoided anything that could cause people to potentially label her a lesbian. Then, unable to deny her feelings any longer, she’d walked away from everything she’d worked so hard to achieve in order to be true to herself. While she was no longer truly closeted, she chose to live her life quietly. After living in the public eye for so many years, she valued her privacy, and learned a long time ago how to deflect the questions she didn’t want to answer.
She looked at Dani with a twinkle in her eye. "You can’t tell?" Dani slowly shook her head. "Well then, I suppose you’ll just have to keep wondering won’t you?" She chuckled at her exaggerated pout. "You’ll get over it, besides I’ve already warned you that I am a very private person."
"Even with me?"
Alex sighed. "With everyone, even Emily who I’ve known since I was sixteen years old. Don’t take it personally." She looked over at Dani and saw the look of understanding on her face.
"Who hurt you, Alex?"
Angry with herself for revealing as much as she did, she turned away. As she rolled towards the door she said, "The better question, Dani, is who hasn’t?" She stopped just inside the door and looked over her shoulder. "Please excuse me for a moment, I need some air." Without waiting for a response, she rolled out the door and into the hallway.
Dani sat in stunned silence as she watched her leave the room. She didn’t think Alex was aware of it, but the pain rolled off of her in waves. She knew she had to convince Rachel to help this woman they knew so little about, but who, with one selfless act, had become an important part of their lives. She was pulled from her thoughts when the door opened and Nikki walked in, followed closely by a doctor she didn’t recognize. Before she could explain where Alex was, the door opened again.
Alex rolled into the room and stopped when she saw she had additional company. Perspiration dotted her brow and upper lip. She grabbed her notebook from the bed and began to fan herself. "I didn’t expect to see you today, Dr. Jones."
Dr. Jones watched her closely. "Are you feeling all right?" she asked.
"I’m okay. I just took several quick
spins around the tower in an effort to work off some excess energy." She dropped the notebook back on the bed, and reached for the hem of her shirt. She quickly pulled it over her head and used it to wipe her face.
Nikki watched as the doctor’s eyes raked over the well-defined muscles in Alex’s arms and shoulders, and the soft curves revealed by the tight shirt.
"I’ve cancelled your afternoon appointment with the physical therapist. I can see their assessment is accurate." Dr. Jones walked over and stood in front of her as her eyes once again traveled over the skin the tight tank top revealed. "You're in exceptional shape, Alex. You're not just the simple jogger you'd like us to believe. You're an athlete. This has helped you heal faster than average, though you still have a long way to go." She watched as Alex nodded. "You should be able to begin placing weight on that leg much sooner than initially expected, possibly in another week or so. In the meantime, I would like to recommend the rehabilitation facility across the street. We can transfer you over today."
"I’ll take your recommendation under advisement Doctor, however, I will not be entering the rehab facility." She stopped Dr. Jones before she could interrupt. "I appreciate your concern, but I know what I’m doing. As a former athlete, I know a physical therapist or two that make house calls. I just need a copy of all of my medical records please."
Dr. Jones crouched beside the chair, placed her hand on the bare skin just below the hem of Alex’s shorts, and looked into her eyes. "Are you sure I can’t change your mind?"
"I’m sure, but thank you."
"Very well then." She slowly stood, and grabbed the notebook from the bed. She opened it and wrote her phone number inside. "If you need anything, please call me." She handed the notebook to Alex and headed for the door. "I’ll make sure your medical records are included with your release paperwork." She paused with her hand on the door. "It’s been a pleasure, Alex." With one last smile, she left the room.
Alex tossed the notebook back onto the bed and wheeled over to pull her clothes from the drawer beside the bed. She stopped when she heard Nikki ask, "Would you like some help?"
The Queen of Diamonds Page 3