Shit. At this point, she’s basically coming out for me. It’s getting a little ridiculous. “I don’t know what the hell box I’m in,” I tell her, almost desperately. “One day I think I’m okay with being a girl, and I like it fine, and the next day I’m all squirmy in my own skin and it feels wrong when people call me ma’am and I just…I don’t get it. I don’t get myself.”
“Okay.”
I blink at her. My brain was expecting the best and the anxious pit in my stomach was holding out for the worst, but Izzy seems…nonplussed? I know my gender issues aren’t new information, but I was hoping for more of a response.
“That’s it? ‘Okay?'”
She takes my hand at last. “I’m sorry all those feelings frustrate you so much, Riley, but it doesn’t change this. It doesn’t change you and me. I’m here for whatever you need.”
The knot of fear in my chest unravels. I almost collapse into Izzy’s arms, which wrap around my torso to stroke my back. I’m not crying yet, but my heart is beating loud in my ears and my whole body is shaking. I don’t know what else to say except for, “Thank you,” in a raspy, choked-off voice.
“Çé bon, mon chou. Don’t cry.”
Of course, that makes me want to cry more. I sniff and blink back tears, but my eyes still sting. “Sorry. I dunno know why I—”
“Hey. This is important stuff. It’s okay to have feelings about it.”
I bury my face in Izzy’s shoulder and take a few deep breaths. Bit by bit, the scent of suntan lotion and her shampoo calms me down. I relax and squeeze her hand to let her know I’m getting there. She squeezes back, and I finally lift my head.
“That wasn’t really about you. I mean…I really want to figure out who I am, but I’m scared of leaving who I was behind. Does that make sense? It’s not stupid, right?”
Izzy gives me a sharp-toothed smile that still manages to be warm and gentle. “No, not stupid. But you don’t have to leave everything behind. Not me.”
“Yeah.” I swallow and say it with more conviction. “Yeah, I don’t.”
“Do you want to keep walking around the gardens, or sit a little longer?”
“Sit,” I say. Another delicious smell besides Izzy catches my nose, and my stomach rumbles. I’m pretty sure there’s a hot dog stand further along the path. “But can we grab something to eat after? Think I smell a food cart.”
Izzy laughs. “You never stop thinking about food for long, do you?”
I laugh too. “Nope. Sorry.”
“Riley.” She cups my cheek and kisses me, soft and sweet. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, baby.”
***
The rest of the evening passes in a happy blur. I feel feather-light as I stroll around the gardens with Izzy, holding her hand in one of mine and a hot dog with all the fixings in the other. We talk, sometimes about the feelings I’m working through, sometimes about other things. The conversation ebbs and flows, but even the silences are comfortable. Things feel right again.
“Is it weird that I didn't always know?” I ask as we pause beneath a group of silvery trees. “Colin talks about how he felt ‘different’ as a kid, but I didn't feel that way…at least, not about gender. The werewolf part, yeah.”
“It's not weird.” Izzy’s arm is linked with mine, and she huddles close, trying to steal some of my body heat. “I didn't know I was interested in women until after high school. Then again, that was several decades ago. People didn't talk about being gay in the eighties, and they definitely didn't talk about vampires.” She sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if I'd have made the Choice, if it was offered to me back then. If I'm being honest, probably not.”
“I'm not sorry you did.”
“Oh, really? So, you wouldn't have wanted to go out with me if I was a fifty-year-old human?”
“Hold up, I never said that. There are some fine older women out there. Just to look at, I mean.”
“Looking is fine.” Izzy stops us along the side of the path, wrapping her arms around my neck. “We’ve all got eyes…well, except Mole People. But you better save all your touching for me.”
“What kind of touching?”
Izzy scoots closer. “The kind we shouldn’t do in public, unless you’re feeling extra frisky.”
My mouth goes dry. All the moisture in my body has headed south. I’m definitely interested, but part of me is also wary. Izzy and I have grown comfortable with each other over the past couple of months, but tonight is different. My head is crowded with all kinds of doubts screaming for attention. What if sex changes now? What if Izzy isn’t as into me as she usually is? What if I feel weird about something, I’ve already let her do before and have to ask her to stop?
“Riley?”
I squirm in my shoes. “Yup?”
“It’s okay to say no.”
“I know. But I wanna, um…with you, I…what if it’s different?”
Izzy strokes a lock of my shaggy hair away from my eyes. “Then it’s different. What, does sex always stay the same for you?”
“Dunno.” I shuffle nervously. “I haven’t usually done it with the same girl more than a couple times. Wait, I phrased that wrong—”
“I know what you meant. But if you want some incentive…” She gives me a seductive smirk, running the tip of her tongue over her teeth. “I actually have another surprise planned for you tonight.”
“A surprise?” I perk up.
“Yes, but it’s back at my place.”
Butterflies tickle the inside of my stomach. I can smell Izzy’s excitement beneath her perfume and coconut sunscreen, and it’s making my mouth water. “Well, I got something to eat, but your belly’s probably sticking to your spine. I guess I could be dinner?”
Izzy stands on tiptoe to give me another kiss, deep and wet and slow. “If you’re on the menu, I’m happy to order.”
My tension melts away. We’ve come this far, the two of us, and Izzy’s always made me feel safe. I feel a stirring inside me, a tingle of energy and anticipation. As soon as I get Izzy back to her place, I’m gonna show her how grateful I am.
***
We don’t make out on the cab ride home, but we do hold hands the whole way. Izzy’s thumb strokes the side of my hand, drawing ticklish patterns meant to tease me. Her smell is stronger, much too faint for anyone without a werewolf’s nose to notice, but painfully obvious to me. I’m carrying an ache in my stomach and my heart is beating fast—and for the first time tonight, it’s not ‘cause I’m scared.
Izzy pays the cabbie, and we hurry into her building. We rush up the stairs so fast it might be embarrassing, except the two of us want the same thing—each other. Once we get to her apartment, I can’t wait anymore. I back her into the door and kiss her, bracing both arms beside her head.
As soon as our lips meet, Izzy moans into my mouth. Heaven almighty, she tastes even better than she smells. Even though I’ve had her lips before, it still blows me away every time. It’s a flavor I’ll never tire of, and it leaves me craving more.
“Inside,” Izzy pants against my mouth. “We should—”
I groan. The last thing I wanna do is stop kissing her but doing it horizontal is probably a good idea. I give Izzy enough space to pull out her keys and fumble with the lock. It clicks open, and the two of us stumble into her apartment, kicking off our shoes as we go. I steer Izzy toward the couch, since it’s the closest piece of furniture that’ll hold the two of us, but she takes control, pulling me back into her bedroom by the collar of my shirt.
Once we stagger into the room, Izzy falls backwards onto the mattress and drags me down too. My body settles over hers, and she wraps her leg around my hip to keep me close. We kiss again and again, until I’m so lightheaded I can barely remember my own name, let alone how worried I was about this. Like the rest of our date in the Gardens, this feels right.
Izzy sucks my lower lip, digging in gently with the needles of her teeth. A surge of warmth shoots through me, throbbing between my legs. Izzy’s fangs
never hurt, but the tingly sensation I feel every time she drinks is overwhelming. It makes me squirm on top of her, searching for something to rub against.
Our clothes are in the way. I yank off my blazer and start on my shirt, but Izzy takes over, unfastening the buttons with shaking fingers. I know I should let her take it off, but I can’t stop kissing her. Her lips taste so sweet. The short sucks she takes from my mouth have me shaking with need.
I feel pressure building within me, a drumming pulse in my head that means I’m close to losing control. With anyone but Izzy, it’d be embarrassing, but she doesn’t spook when I go feral. She seems to sense it coming, because she finishes unbuttoning my shirt and mutters, “Go ahead, baby.”
Red heat overtakes me. My hair gets a little thicker, and my ears and teeth go pointy, but the biggest change is inside. There’s a wildfire raging within me, and I can’t contain it. I grab Izzy’s wrists and pin them to the mattress, sinking my teeth into her shoulder. Her skin is almost as delicious as her mouth. I groan, running my tongue through the salt at the crook of her neck. Izzy’s taste drives me wild, and my hips move on instinct.
Each push ends in frustration. I want her—so, so bad—but she’s still got on her shirt and skirt and stockings, and I’m wearing my binder, pants, and a sticky pair of boxers. As much as I want to strip, I need Izzy’s skin more. I let go of her wrists and rip her shirt off, sending scraps fluttering, so I can kiss my way down her chest. I’m too impatient to pull off her bra, so I yank the left cup down and wrap my lips around her nipple.
Izzy wails. Her hands shoot down to my head, twining into my hair. The scratch of her nails on my scalp makes me shiver like crazy. I kiss across to her other breast, but she only lets me suck for a moment before pulling my head up. Immediately, I’m lost in her eyes. They’re such a beautiful hazel-brown that I forget to breathe, and I can see the lanterns of my own reflected in them.
“Riley,” she pants, her chest rising and falling with each rapid breath. Her fangs are all the way out, and there’s a slight trace of blood on her lip. “Let me up for a second. I need to get your surprise.”
I rumble in protest. I don’t want her to leave. Letting her body move even a few inches away from mine seems like it’ll be unbearable. But she looks so excited, so hopeful, that I can’t say no. I roll off her and use the time to strip off my pants and boxers.
Izzy leans over to open the drawer of her nightstand. She pulls out a baggie made of velvety material, and I can see there’s something heavy-looking inside. “Sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it.”
She offers the baggie and I take it from her. “Thanks, Izzy, but you didn’t have to.” In my mind, I’m already back on top of her, kissing my way down her body. No matter what the present is, it can’t compare.
“I wanted to. Open it. Just remember, if you don’t like it, you don’t need to use it.”
I open the drawstring. Inside the bag is…something. Something long. Something long and thick and flesh-colored, with a familiar shape. I pull it out, but I already know what it is.
My face burns, and my eyes water without me fully understanding why. I’ve wanted a strap-on for ages, but I’ve always been too afraid to buy one. It’s not embarrassment so much as fear of disappointment. Sometimes I feel awkward about my lower parts, and I always worried a fake cock wouldn’t be close enough to the real thing for me. And that’s what I longed for on those sad nights: something like the real thing.
I look at it, blinking away tears. There are two parts: a sculpted shaft with a set of balls at the bottom, and what looks like a funny-shaped suction cup. The coloring is pretty detailed. There’s redness at the tip, sculpted folds of skin under the head, and what looks like the outline of a vein.
“It’s enchanted,” Izzy says. “A transmutation spell. If you put it on, you’ll be able to feel when I touch it.”
“Wait, really?”
Izzy must hear the hope in my voice, because she smiles wide. “Yes, really. I have my sources.”
My heart swells with hope, and a big helping of gratitude besides. I put the strap-on aside and pull Izzy in for a tight hug, forgetting all about how turned on I am for a moment. I don’t know what I did to deserve this—not just the gift, but this woman—but I’m so, so lucky. All I can think to say is, “Thank you,” but it doesn’t seem like enough.
Izzy doesn’t ask for more. She holds me tight, letting me hug my feelings out until I calm down enough to pull away. That’s when I remember how close our bodies are and how much I want to touch her. Izzy’s skin is normally cool, but some of my warmth has seeped into it, and once in a great while, I can feel the slow beat of her heart. For a vampire, its tempo is pretty fast.
“I wanna try it.” I’d be fibbing if I said I wasn’t nervous, but there’s more to it than that. Maybe it’s because I finally came out to Izzy officially, or maybe it’s finally the right time, but I want to use the strap-on. I reach for it.
“Are you sure?” Izzy asks.
There’s no hesitation on my end. “I’m sure.”
“Do you want to put it on, or me?”
I chew on my cheek. Having her put it on is kind of hot, plus I don’t know if I’ll do it right. But part of me wants to do it on my own. Maybe I’ll be clumsy, but I feel like I need to do this. “Me. Is that okay?”
Izzy just laughs. “That’s sort of the reason I bought it, mon chou.”
I stick my tongue out at her. She sticks her tongue out back at me. I lean up so I can pretend to bite it, and then we’re kissing again, only this time, I’m hyper aware of the shaft in my hand. Imagining that I might feel Izzy’s heat wrapped around me makes the ache inside me worse.
This time, the two of us aren’t so urgent. Izzy pulls down her stockings and skirt, and I groan at the sight of her bare stomach. She’s so soft, so curvy, so gorgeous and squeezable that I want to gather all of her up in my hands at once. My eyes dart between her plush thighs to steal a look at the bare lips in between. She’s wet. Really wet. I can see it as well as smell it, because there’s a glistening sheen on her skin.
“Riley?”
I blink. I was so wrapped up in the vision of her that I forgot what I was doing. The urge to touch her is back, even stronger than before. But first, I need to put this thing on. I have a suspicion that once we get going, I’m not gonna want to stop again any time soon.
With a deep breath, I bring the toy between my legs. It doesn’t look very stable. The shaft itself is pretty firm, but I don’t see how it’s going to stick. I put the cup over myself anyway, and gasp in surprise. It kind of suctions onto me, molding to the shape of my lips and clinging between them. The sensation isn’t uncomfortable, though. After a few seconds, I don’t really feel it.
What I do feel is pressure between my legs. I’m stunned at first. The sight of a shaft pointing up toward my belly is strange and unfamiliar, but also…right, somehow. My insides are still churning, and I can’t stop staring. I run my fingers along its length, and it gives a slight twitch. I can feel the graze of my own fingertips, light and ticklish.
“Is it just supposed to stay on like this, or…?”
Izzy’s staring between my legs too, but she smiles when she meets my eyes. “I told you, I got it enchanted. The deluxe package.”
I can’t help it. “Heh. Package.”
Izzy rolls her eyes. “Riley…” She leans in, resting her hand on my thigh a few inches short of the cock.
My cock? Yeah. Guess so.
“Riley,” Izzy says again, bringing her face close to mine. “Do you want me to touch you?”
You. Not it. I swallow nervously. All I can croak out is, “Yup.”
Izzy’s fingers are gentle as they curl around me. I’m surprised how much I can feel pressure, texture, temperature. The coolness of her palm leaves me tingly. She squeezes, and I feel the shaft start to warm up. A small pulse shoots along it, and my muscles tense.
I look down. The sight of Izzy’s hand on me is incredible a
ll by itself, but there’s more. A pool of something is shining on the rosy head of the—of my cock. When Izzy spreads it around with her thumb, rubbing the slickness over the tip, my hips jerk on instinct.
“Fuck.” The word slips right out, mostly because I’m astonished. If I’d known that enchanted strap-ons felt this good, I would’ve shelled out for one a long time ago. I watch in awe as a few more clear drops well up, only for Izzy to gather them on her thumb and offer me a taste.
I hesitate. I wasn’t expecting her to do that. But I’m curious, so I take her thumb between my lips. The flavor on my tongue is familiar. This is me. I feel full and content inside, almost...proud?
Izzy offers me two more of her fingers to suck, but only for a moment. Then her hand gets back to work between my thighs. She strokes me from bottom to top with a twist of her wrist along the way. Thanks to my spit and the fluid I’m leaking, every motion feels smooth and silky. Soon I’m clenching the muscles of my backside, fighting the impulse to thrust up into her fist.
“How’s this?” Her eyes shift between my face and what she’s doing. “Too slow, or just right?”
My mouth hangs open like I’m trying to catch flies. I couldn’t have answered even if I knew what to say. It all feels so good that I can’t think straight. All I can do is pant and moan and let her jerk me off however she wants.
Izzy takes my noises as her cue to move faster. She keeps an eye on me the whole time, waiting for some sign she should stop, but the last thing I want her to do is stop. I’m hard and throbbing in her hand, like my heart’s hammering in her palm.
I do have enough sense left to reach out and brush her springy curls. I draw her in, guiding her mouth to my shoulder. If she’s going to keep doing this, it’s only fair I give her a meal to keep her energy up. Izzy takes the hint. She latches onto the crook of my neck, and I feel a hot wave of need crash over me as her fangs pierce my skin.
It’s too much. I’m so sensitive, and there’s so much pressure building in the base of my new shaft, and Izzy’s mouth feels so good on my throat. I come with a strangled shout, long before I planned, spilling all over Izzy’s fingers in time with the steady pull of her mouth.
Fur and Fangs Box Set Page 14