“Are you okay?” Grandpa asked, sounding worried. “Talk to me.”
I shook my head. “I’m fine. I don’t know why things have happened this way, but what’s done is done. Am I disappointed? Absolutely. Am I devastated? No. I still have the things that are the most important to me. The rest will fall into place eventually. I’ll figure out something.”
“I know you want to be strong, but I also know this has to be a huge blow for you. I’m here if you want to talk about it. Any time. Just say the word.” Releasing my hand, he leaned back in the chair.
“Thanks.”
Silence fell between us once more and we both stared at the television, but this time, as I watched the sports channel, I was seeing all the things I’d never be able to do again. It really was amazing, the things I’d taken for granted in my life before all of this. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. If there was one thing I’d learned, it was there was no point in wallowing. It wasn’t going to change anything.
Besides, the universe, or God, or whoever was in charge, had given me back the one thing I’d wanted more than anything in the world.
“Hi, guys!” Nikki’s voice said cheerfully.
And here she was, right now. My breath caught and I felt like the luckiest guy ever born. She was so beautiful, her face radiant, brown eyes sparkling so vividly. It was crazy how she had the ability to take my breath away every time I saw her.
“Hey, babe.” Smiling, I patted the spot on the bed beside me. “Come join me.” I wanted her as close to me as possible. I hated every moment we were separated from each other.
She didn’t hesitate, setting her bag on the end table and climbing onto the bed. “Look who’s all cleaned up and shaved.” She leaned over, kissing my cheek. “You smell so good.”
“Crazy how showers can do that, huh?” I thought she smelled amazing and I loved the feel of her cuddled up beside me, I lifted my arm so she could snuggle closer. “Grandpa came to help me out.”
“Well, I think you look great—more like your usual self.”
“Yeah, me, only fifty pounds skinnier. I’m a skeleton. I hardly recognized myself in the mirror.”
“I think you look amazing—just like you are.”
Grandpa cleared his throat and I realized we’d completely forgotten he was in the room. “Well, I’ll let you kids have some time to yourselves. I told Grandma I’d pick up a few items she needed for dinner, tonight.” Standing, he came around the bed to give me a quick hug.
“Don’t forget to smuggle me some food in.” I reminded him and he shook his head, chuckling.
“I’ll do my best. Have a good afternoon.”
“Bye,” Nikki and I both said, in unison, as we watched him head out the door.
“You’re grandpa has really taken good care of you,” Nikki said, as soon as he was gone.
“That’s what I heard. What I want to know is why I was getting sponge baths from Brittney and him instead of you?”
She glanced at me quickly, a slow blush stealing across her face. “Are you serious?” she finally asked.
“Heck, yeah. What’s a guy got to do to get a little action from the girl he wants?”
She turned, kneeling beside me so she could face me. “Action? That’s what you want?”
Glancing at the empty space around us, I cocked my eyebrow. “We’re alone now, and it would be a shame to waste this private room.”
“Yep. If I had any doubts that you’re my Chase, they’re now gone. You’ve been in a coma for months; and yet, even after just waking up, you’re still hitting on me.”
I grinned. “I’ve been dying to hit on you for a while.”
“No dying jokes. They aren’t funny.”
“If you kiss me, I’ll shut up.” I waited, wondering if she’d take me up on my offer.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” I could tell she was concerned, but I didn’t care.
“You won’t. Kiss me, Nikki. Just like you used to.”
Smiling, she leaned forward until her lips were merely a few millimeters away from mine. “If you say so.”
I couldn’t wait through any more teasing. Sliding my hand behind her head, I closed the distance between us. Sparks flared instantly and I wasn’t sure if the moan that escaped was from her or me. She readily opened her mouth and my tongue slipped inside to dance with hers. It was better than any of my memories—feeling her, tasting her, smelling her sweet perfume. I was on sensory overload, completely wrapped up in everything that was so uniquely her. I didn’t know how I’d ever even imagined I was with anyone else—dream or not. Nikki was a part of me. She was everything I wanted. She was the love of my life, the keeper of my soul.
For the first time in ages, I felt whole.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Not bad, Walker,” Barney, my physical therapist said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a patient come through here with the same kind of determination you have. It’s only been four months and look at you.”
“Only?” I snorted, staring at Barney, the burly ex-football player turned therapist. I grimaced as I curled the weights I held in each hand. “No offense, but I would’ve liked to have been out of here, oh, I don’t know—four months ago.”
“Four months ago, no one was even sure you’d open your eyes again, let alone be doing so well in physical therapy. I remember how you were. I was the one doing therapy on you, even when you were asleep. So, take the compliment. You’ve put in a lot of hard hours and it’s starting to show.”
“What can I say?” I replied in a huff of breath before I set the weights down, carefully. “Having to use a walker to get around is a good motivation. There’s no way you can make something like that look cool. I don’t want my girlfriend to finally realize she’s getting the bad end of the deal.” This rehab was taking forever, in my opinion. Sure, I didn’t expect it to be a cakewalk, but it was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I’d had to re-teach my muscles to do about a billion things, it seemed. Sometimes it was extremely frustrating.
Snorting, Barney shook his head. “I’ve seen the way your girlfriend looks at you. It’s like you’re the only person on the planet. I don’t think she’ll ever think you’re the bad end of the deal. And, after what she’s been through, I bet she’d be thrilled to have you—even if you were in a hospital bed for the rest of your life.”
“She might have been able to handle it, but there is no way I would've. I think I'd rather be dead than strapped to a bed the rest of my life. Plus, I’d hate myself for every second she spent with me. I know how Nikki thinks. She wouldn’t leave, even if it meant she’d have a lonely life by my side, doing nothing but taking care of me. It would kill me to see her wasted like that. I would’ve told her to move on—and then I would’ve died if she did.”
“She wouldn’t have,” Barney said, strapping me in to begin my leg presses. I glanced at the stack of weights that, in the past, would’ve been laughable to me. It was times like these it was hard to not get discouraged. “Are you ready?”
Nodding, I began extending my legs. I couldn’t talk much during this workout because it took most of my concentration and effort, but I did steadily move the weights. It was getting easier—a little.
“Looking good, Chase. You’re progressively climbing.” Even though I could easily sit up on my own and had control over my posture, Barney always hovered close by, just in case I might need him. Every once in a while, I did; and I hated it. I just wanted to be done with all this. I felt like me again, in my mind, I wanted my body back now, too. “I think that’s enough for today on this machine. We don’t want to overdo it.”
Stopping was okay with me, and that made me feel bad. I was feeling pretty tired after today’s work out, but I wished I could do more. Despite my fatigue, my eyes drifted over to the set of parallel bars with the rubber mat running in between them.
“You want to give it a try again today?” Barney asked, following my gaze and I nodded. Helping me to stand
, he slid my metal walker in front of me, allowing me the freedom to slowly move over to the poles on my own. “Remember the rules. If you lift your hands off the bars, keep them where you can grab it again easily, if you feel like you’re going to fall. I’ll be right behind you.”
This part actually drove me crazy. In my mind, since I could walk around with a walker, I should be able to walk on my own. Period. Sure, I taken several steps on my own, but not once had I made it completely through the parallel bars without needing some kind of support, either grabbing the bars or having Barney hold me up. Not today, though. I wasn’t going to get off this thing until I’d successfully made my way across.
Barney helped me get situated at the end of the bars and then he released me. I gripped the metal beside me as tightly as I could, taking a deep breath as I tried to steady both my body and my focus.
“Just concentrate on one step at a time. Take it and then move to the next one.” Barney’s words sank into my mind and I stepped. Next leg. And another step. So far so good, but I always made it this far. Stepping forward again, I began to feel the familiar tremble in my legs that always happened before a collapse.
No! I thought sharply to myself, concentrating on my muscles, trying to command them to do the things I used to never even think about. Staring down at my feet, a wave of discouragement washed through me. Lifting my chin, I stared at the end of the course, focusing my intentions on it. All the way to the end, I said internally.
“You can do it.” Glancing to the side, I saw Nikki walking toward me. Setting her books down, she stood at the end of the bars, smiling hopefully. I couldn’t disappoint her. I couldn’t. I didn’t want anyone to tell me “keep trying,” or “maybe next time.” I was sick of hearing those things.
Locking eyes with her, I took another step. She seemed to recognize my need to hold her stare because she never looked away, silent support and love radiating from her. Another step.
My legs were trembling. I wondered if the tremors were visible to everyone else; but I refused to look down, taking another slow step toward her.
“You just broke your record,” Barney’s voice came from behind me. “Come on, man. You’ve got this.” He sounded as hopeful as I was. Moving again, I maintained focus as I stared into Nikki’s eyes, noticing when she stepped up at the end of the bars that I was nearly there. Two more steps and I was in her arms.
“Yeah!” Barney shouted behind me, his excitement evident. Tears were running down Nikki’s face and I was breathing so hard it felt like I’d run a marathon. It didn’t matter though. It seemed like every single part of me was smiling.
Leaning against one of the poles, I pulled Nikki into my arms, kissing her soundly. She threaded her arms around behind my neck, obviously not caring that we had an audience, either. I was standing and kissing her at the same time. It was something I hadn’t done since the night of the accident and it felt so good to tower over her, once more. I didn’t know why that mattered to me so much, but it did. It made me feel strong and having her in my arms made me the luckiest guy on the planet.
Deepening the kiss, I silently wished I had the strength to pick her up and carry her off somewhere private, but I knew that day was still a long time off. It would happen though, I was sure of it. From this moment on, I was going to be invincible!
Nikki pulled away and a blush crept over her cheeks. “Sorry, Barney,” she said, glancing sideways at him.
“Don’t be sorry. If it were up to me, we’d have a marching band and a parade here right now. I’m glad you were here to kiss him, or I might have had to do it.”
Laughter burst from me. “And I would’ve clobbered you over the head with a barbell if you tried.”
He shook his head. “No you wouldn’t. You can’t run away from me fast enough to get one yet.”
“One day you won’t be able to catch me. I promise you that.”
Barney smiled widely. “I look forward to that day. Now let’s get you sat down before you fall down.”
I hated that I had to sit, but I knew I needed to because my legs were starting to feel like rubber bands. Even that couldn’t wipe the smile from my face though—this was such a big milestone.
As soon as I was safely settled into my wheelchair, Barney turned and pointed at Nikki. “Make the call,” he ordered, grinning widely.
“With pleasure!” Nikki smiled, digging her phone from her pocket.
“What’s going on?” I asked, glancing back and forth between them, confused.
“Your doctor said when you could walk through the parallels unaided, then that was the night you got to eat your grandma’s fried chicken.”
I laughed. “Are you serious?”
“Completely,” Barney said. “Tell her to make him a big plate of mashed potatoes and gravy, too. He deserves it,” he added to Nikki before turning back to me. “The party is in your room tonight.”
Laughing again, I couldn’t help the few tears that managed to sneak down my face, but I didn’t care. I’d walked unaided. I’d kissed my girl while standing up, and tonight, I was eating fried chicken. This was one of the best days of my life!
***
This had to be heaven– surrounded by my friends and family eating fried chicken just like we used to out at the ranch. Closing my eyes, I took another bite. And I heard Nikki laugh beside me.
“What?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I’m just watching the way you’re enjoying that piece of chicken and I’m starting to get a little jealous.”
“Don’t worry, babe. You’ll get your turn.” I winked at her and she laughed again. Glancing across the room at my Grandma, I gave her the thumbs up sign. “I swear, Grandma, it tastes even better than I remember.”
Her eyes sparkled at my compliment. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”
“Frankly, had I known what he was going on about, I’d have pushed him harder,” Dr. Kennish teased, taking a bite of his own piece. “Add my compliments to the chef.”
Brett, along with my buddies, Chad, and Wes, were sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, eating with relish.
“I’ve always said my friends only kept me around so they could have access to Grandma’s cooking.”
“You know it,” Brett joked. “Glad you finally decided to wake up. The rest of us have been starving waiting on you.”
“Obviously,” I replied, gesturing to his nearly empty plate. Not that it was anything to worry about. Grandma had probably made enough to feed the entire care center. Every space in my room was taken. My family, Nikki’s family, all of our best friends, people from physical therapy, the nursing staff, and my doctor—it was unreal. I could get used to this.
“So what’s your next milestone?” Justine asked me.
“To get out of this place.” I didn’t even hesitate. Then I worried I might have offended the staff. Glancing around at them, I added, “I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”
Dr. Kennish shook his head, clearing his mouth. “Don’t worry, kid. We don’t want you here either.”
Everyone laughed, myself included. “I want to go see the ranch again . . . even if I can’t stay there, at first. I want to chill with the guys and play video games. And I want to take Nikki to the creek.” Using my napkin to wipe my face, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she replied, smiling. Reaching over, she grabbed my thigh, squeezing it. “Check it out. I feel some serious muscle growing there.”
Brett, Chad, Wes, and I all snorted and started laughing.
“I bet you do,” Wes said, elbowing Chad next to him.
“Why is everyone laughing?” Nikki’s baby brother, Timmy, asked, turning to Justine. Everyone busted up laughing again.
“It’s nothing, sweetheart. Keep eating your food.”
Glancing at Nikki, there was no hiding the flaming color of her cheeks. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her so red. “Sorry,” I said. “But you kind of walked right into that one.”
Simply nodding, she continued to stare at her plate.
“Hey.” I bumped my elbow against hers and she looked over at me. Leaning in closer, I whispered into her ear. “When I get out of this place, I promise to show you any muscle you want.”
Nope. I was wrong. That was the reddest I’d ever seen her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
It was quiet. I lay in my room; the door closed, the television off, staring out the window taking in the lawn and trees. The grass was yellowed with the change of season and the trees that weren’t evergreens stood stark and bare, brown dead leaves scattering across the ground beneath them. It had been June when I woke up, and now it was the end of October.
October. Football playoff month. How many years had I spent of my life training and working to get to the Championship Playoffs? Over a year had passed since my accident, yet I still sat here, in this care center, staring out the same window. There was a restless itch inside me. I wanted to go outside, not that I hadn’t been already, but this time I didn’t want to go in a wheelchair.
I wanted to run down the hall and burst past the doors. I wanted to smell the crisp fall air, with its hint of smoke from wood burning stoves and fireplaces. I wanted to feel the grass beneath my feet right before I stepped back and passed a football with all my might downfield, straight into the receiver’s waiting arms. I wanted to hear the fans cheering as another touchdown was made and I wanted to smack pads with the other guys on the team.
Sighing, I turned away from the window. One thing had stayed the same from one reality to the next—the fact that I seemed destined to lose my ability to participate in the sports I’d loved so much. In the greater scheme of things, I’d been blessed beyond measure. I had the things—the people—who mattered to me. I’d give up sports every day of the week to have them in my life. Grandpa was doing well on his cancer treatment. Grandma had agreed to use the ranch to fund his treatments. Nikki was alive and well, going to college, and making me fall in love with her more every second we spent together. Mom and Greg were getting married, and she was happier than I’d ever seen her. Brett was attending the local college; Brittney had just had her baby, a girl, and decided to keep it, taking a leave of absence from the care center. Wes and Chad were working. Everyone had moved on with their lives, working toward their dreams of the future.
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