by Tiya Rayne
I know Lucien agreed on this movie as friends, but I can tell he wants more from the way he looks at me and his comments. And the more he talks, the harder it is to remind myself why I don’t.
My thoughts are placed on hold when the teen in front of us asks for our order. I open my mouth to tell Lucien a box of popcorn would be enough when a voice behind us catches my attention.
“I hope we have food left after she orders.” The words are followed by laughter.
Lucien’s hand tenses against my back. I’ve come a long way from allowing dumb people to make me feel bad. Even as a kid, I understood bullies were only kids who lacked in their own personal lives.
I spin around on my heels and come face to face with three guys. They look like your typical assholes. The cut off sleeves and logos on their T-shirt let me know how they feel about me without them ever opening their mouths.
Planting a smile on my face, I reply, “You’re funny. That was such an original, one of a kind joke I’ve only heard about a thousand times.” The couple behind the three snicker. “But I don’t hold it against you. From the logo on your shirt, I can see originality and wittiness isn’t your strong suit.”
He looks down at the confederate flag on his shirt and frowns before looking up at me. “What are you trying to say?”
I shake my head as the couple behind us burst out laughing. “Oh, trust me, I said it already. You boys have a good night.” I look to the other two men standing beside him, and salute before turning back to place my order of popcorn, soda, and a box of Raisinets.
Lucien and I step out of the line to grab napkins and salt for our popcorn. It’s then I realize he’s been extremely quiet this entire time. I look up to see his eyes are closed and his breathing is heavy. He seems so tense, if I knocked him over, he would shatter against the floor.
I stop gathering napkins and place a hand on his arm. His eyes immediately pop open and the fire hidden behind them makes me take a step back.
“Are you all right?”
He forces a smile, it’s nothing like the one from earlier. This one barely lifts his lips.
“I’m all right.” His nose still flares with every inhale.
“Good,” I say, grinning. “Because I’m really excited about this movie.”
“Me too.” He grins and this time the smile is more genuine. We finish gathering napkins and then we head into the theater.
Two hours later we both walk out with smiles on our faces.
“That was phenomenal, just as amazing as the book,” I say.
“I wasn’t expecting it to be that great. They even included that one scene with the alien’s and the probe.”
Lucien and I are so busy talking we didn’t realize the three assholes from earlier are behind us until they bump into me, breaking us apart.
“Move out the fucking way, bitch,” the mouthy one says, glaring at me.
I shake my head at their backs. They are definitely looking for trouble. I have no problem putting punks in their place, but I’m also wise enough to know when to avoid trouble.
I grab Lucien’s arm and lead him away. “Come on, let’s go for our walk.” I want to be in the opposite direction from those guys. Lucien doesn’t argue, he allows me to lead him down the sidewalk to the park not far from us.
Once we get a little distance away, he speaks. “I’m sorry about that back there. I should have done something.”
I turn in time to see him pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
“It’s all right,” I say. “I don’t need a hero. Despite what everyone thinks, I can take care of myself.” My words come out a little harsher than I planned. He seems to catch on as he lifts his brow toward his hairline.
I sigh. “That came out wrong.”
He shakes his head. “No, I get it.”
“Really?” I ask skeptically.
He nods. “My brother has the tendency to think I always need saving. He never allows me to handle my own battles. Often times, he makes a simple situation much worse.”
“He sounds like my Grams,” I say, then laugh. “It’s like, just because I don’t handle something the way she would like, doesn’t mean it isn’t handled.”
“Exactly,” he replies as if someone finally understands him.
We continue in silence for a little longer.
“You know what I realized?” I ask, breaking the silence. “I don’t know what you do for a living.”
He looks down at me for a moment without replying. “My job is boring actually.”
“I was a librarian for five years. I doubt it can be as boring as mine was.”
He laughs. I like the way his throat moves with the action. I mentally shake my head. Clearly, I’m sex deprived when someone’s throat turns me on.
“I’m a computer analyst for a private investigation company.”
“That’s not boring, I thought you were going to say something like, you work for a paint company and your job is to monitor and record the drying time of certain colors. Now that is a boring job.”
We both laugh. “Sometimes, I wish for a job like that.” I don’t miss the longing in his voice.
“The private investigation gig can get kind of hectic sometimes, I’m guessing?”
He nods his head. “You couldn’t even imagine.” He sighs. “My brother, he’s good at it. I think he was created for it, but not me. I want something different.”
“Different how?” We pass an older couple walking hand in hand together and I smile at them.
“I want that,” he says, nodding at the couple behind us.
“Don’t we all,” I mumble to myself before answering him. “Why can’t you have that now? You’re an amazingly handsome man. I’m sure women are knocking at your door to make that dream possible.”
I love watching his face heat up with a blush. Nothing I said is a lie, Lucien is fine. He had eyes all on him at the movie theater.
“It’s not that simple for me. My job is dangerous and I have burdens.”
This succeeds in sparking my interest. What type of burdens? If I’m out with him, no matter if it’s a date or not, this is something I should know about.
“Burdens?” I query.
He stops walking. I stop too. We turn to face each other. He runs a hand through his hair.
“As I told you the first night, I was raised in an orphanage. I don’t know if you know anything about them, but they aren’t always nice places.”
He looks at everything except me. “I was small for my age and scrawny. I loved to read and I was good at school. The other boys in the orphanage hated that I often found favor with the caretakers.”
He shrugs. “I wasn’t much of a problem child and the caretakers liked that. The boys made my life miserable there. I probably wouldn’t have survived if not for my brother.”
I smile at the mention of Seth. It seems he’s been saving people for a long time.
“It must have been nice having him around. Someone to look out for you.”
Lucien looks down at me and his eyes lack any of the friendliness I’ve grown accustomed to over the last two days.
“You don’t know Seth. He is a virus; one I can’t seem to shake.” He ducks his head before looking back at me. “My brother is a loose cannon. One that my mishaps as a child brought into this world. Having to save me created a monster, and it’s my burden to keep him under control. Not something I can place on the shoulders of my wife.”
I find myself without words. This doesn’t sound like the boy I met those many years ago. Yes, he beat Jonny Davis with his bare hands, breaking three bones in his face, but he also played in my hair and told me he would be my friend. Has he changed that much?
“Maybe you’re right and Seth is all you say he is.” I lick my lips and continue on. “But maybe there’s a woman out there strong enough to stand by your side and make the burden seem not so bad. At least, I hear that’s what love is supposed to do.” I lift my shoulders briefly before droppi
ng them back down.
Lucien’s tilts his head to the side and a smile spreads over his face. “Are you applying for the role?”
I snort and we both laugh.
“What part of failed marriage did you not get?” I joke, turning to continue our walk. Lucien steps in place beside me.
“Failing at something doesn’t mean you’re not good at it.”
I cut my eyes to him. “No, it means it isn’t meant to be.”
He doesn’t seem to catch the dip in my tone. I hate this subject. Lucien shoves his hands into his front pockets.
“I was taught that failure is part of life. And there’s no success without it. You didn’t master marriage the first time, so what. It doesn’t mean you’re not good at it. It means your first attempt wasn’t the right approach. There is more than one way to skin a cat, Malia.”
Who knew Lucien could be a motivational speaker? He could almost convince me to give this relationship thing a try again, to believe I could find a man out there like my grandfather. One who is perfectly made for me and won’t require me to lose myself to love. Too bad I know the truth.
The only positive thing I could take from my failed marriage was, I wanted to be a mother. When I realized how stupid I had been for Trenton, I wanted to be a mom even more. However, I never wanted a child by a man I didn’t love. It felt selfish to go to a sperm donor when there were already so many children who needed a home. Adoption was my second way to skin a cat, I guess you can say.
“All right, Mr. Lucien Gramble. I’ll concede to your point, but it’s still not changing my mind about dating.”
He winks and a smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “I’m not worried. I’ll change your mind.”
We continue our walk, once again talking about any and everything. This is what I enjoy so much about Lucien. No matter what we talk about he is interested in it. Even if he doesn’t know anything about it.
“Well, if it isn’t the elephant and her trainer.” The asshole is back. He and his two friends step out of the shadows to surround us.
I tighten my hands on Lucien’s arm.
“We don’t want any problems.” I try to reason with them, but I’m sure if they came all the way out here, reasoning is out of the picture.
“Oh, now she doesn’t want any problems, boys.” The ringleader looks to his two friends who have yet to be verbal. “The uppity bitch thought it would be okay to call me stupid and get away with it.”
I fight down the urge to ask him if he just now figured that out. My smart mouth isn’t the best way to go at the moment. I needed to keep this punk calm.
“You need to take your friends and call it a night,” Lucien says calmly at my side. His body isn’t as tensed as earlier, but I can still feel a little of the rigidness. “We’re out trying to have a peaceful date. I don’t want to hurt you.”
The guys start to laugh and even I cringe at the remark. It’s three against two. Grams made sure I took every self-defense class she could sign me up for, but I’m definitely not the one to rely on in a fight.
“Lucien, we shouldn’t encourage them,” I try to warn quietly.
The talkative one glares at me. “You better listen to your fat nig—”
“Do. Not. Finish. That. Word.” Lucien takes a step forward.
I have to turn to look at him to make sure it’s actually him talking. My sweet shy guy doesn’t even sound like himself. There is so much menace in that sentence, even I feel it.
The punks must get the same feeling I do because they collectively reach for the switch blades in their pockets.
Okay this has officially gone from bad to terrifying. My heart is thumping.
“Malia, make me a promise?” Lucien asks as he looks around at the guys surrounding us.
“Yeah?” my voice is barely louder than a whisper.
“Don’t try to help.”
What? What part of him thinks I’m that damn stupid.
“Lucien, don’t try to be a hero.” I clasp onto his arm with both of my hands, hoping to tether him to the spot.
“Listen to your girl, nerdy boy,” one of the other guys speaks for the first time. Lucien’s body tenses and I imagine the cruel name is probably a reminder of his youth.
“All right,” I say, trying to take control of the situation. “This is all about what happened back at the theater. I’m adult enough to apologize for my joke or making you feel stupid.”
Asshole shakes his head. “You don’t get off that easily. Since you like to eat so much, why don’t you come over here and swallow my cock. Then I’ll call us even.”
“You will apologize for those words,” Lucien warns.
“Make me,” Asshole challenges.
“If you wish.”
Lucien pulls his arm out of my grasp and takes a step toward asshole. The big guy to the left of us charges. Right as I shout watch out, Lucien jabs out his fist, catching the guy in the throat, causing him to lean forward.
Without Lucien breaking his forward motion, he uses his elbow to drop down on the back of the man’s head, sending him face first into the dirt. I drop my chin to my chest. Never would I have expected Lucien to move that fast or that deadly, and in loafers no less.
The other unspoken guy runs at Lucien, slicing his blade in an arch. If not for Lucien’s quick movements, he would have cut clean through his face, but with an easy lean back, the blade misses Lucien. He plants his foot directly into the guys gut, knocking him to the ground.
The guy rolls onto his side but doesn’t get up. Asshole comes forward, ready to stab at Lucien, but Lucien quickly grabs the hand holding the knife and bends it back. The knife crumbles to the ground and Lucien wraps his hand around the asshole’s throat.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The guy apologizes immediately. I wait for Lucien to let him go, but he doesn’t. The man starts to gasp, and his eyes seem to widen.
“Lucien,” I call his name. He releases the guy, allowing him to fall to the ground.
“Take your friends home, and if you ever see her again you will treat her with the utmost respect.”
“Yes,” Asshole agrees quickly.
Lucien holds out a hand for me and I go to him quickly, still not sure what I witnessed. He took three guys down with so much ease, his clothes aren’t even wrinkled. We step over the first guy and head back to our cars. I wait until we get a good distance away before I ask.
“How did you learn to fight like that?”
His head dips like before. I’m learning he does it when he’s blushing. “My job requires me to have some basic combat skills.”
“Basic? That was not basic. You kicked their asses.”
He chuckles, pulling me into his side with an arm around my waist. “Well, I figure, if I’m going to try and win another one of these outings with you, I might need to impress you a little.”
Now it’s my turn to blush. “I guess after going through all that trouble, it’s only right we hang out again. Only as friends,” I add, more for my benefit than his.
He places his free hand over his heart. “Friends.” I don’t miss the sly wink or that I can practically hear the words for now attached to the comment.
My mind hasn’t changed about my dating status, but for right now, I figure I’ll keep that to myself.
Chapter 12
I Apologized
Seth
* * *
The mirrored room reeks of vomit and death, yet the smell doesn’t bother me. This isn’t even the worst I’ve smelt.
Joshua whimpers as I shovel another spoon into his mouth and again force him to swallow.
I look to my side at the other two in the room. Sam took his last breath about ten minutes ago, choking on his own vomit. Logan will be dead soon, but big mouth Josh and I have a long night ahead of us.
I knew my brother was coming before he spoke, I could feel his anger and disapproval as strongly as I could smell the vomit.
“What is going on?”
A g
rin tugs at my lips. “What does it look like, brother? I’m feeding our friends.”
Joshua starts to cry louder. “Please, please, man. You’re fucking crazy.”
“Shut up.” I toss the spoon back into the bucket at my side. I grab his face, tilting it up toward me. “Don’t call me that. Don’t. Ever. Fucking. Call. Me. That.”
Joshua whimpers and I shove his face away from me, his weak body slumps back in the chair I have him tied to.
Lucien sighs. “This is insane. You have to let them go.”
“Let them go?” I turn to take in the face staring back at me. “Like you did last night?” I scoff, standing up straight I head back over to Logan.
“How did you find out about this?” Lucien asks.
I look over my shoulder to catch the moment my brother realizes what I’ve done.
“You were spying on me?”
Turning back to the table, I focus on the set of knives lying before me. “Good thing I did, right? You let them disrespect her, threaten her, call her out of her name, and even touch her.”
“And I defended her.”
“No,” I say, picking up the scalpel off the table. “You let them walk away.”
“What was I supposed to do?”
“Your fucking job,” I shout as I plunge the small scalpel into Logan’s throat slicing through his carotid artery. Blood squirts out, soaking through my shirt. I stare down as the red bubbles form at the wound. I allow the slow trickle of the blood to calm me and ease my anger.
“Your job is to protect her,” I say.
“I did protect her,” Lucien argues. “You can’t go around killing everyone who upsets you or makes you mad.”
“Oh really?” I point to the near headless Logan and then to Sam who died from asphyxia. “I think they’d beg to differ.”
Silence surrounds us. Clearly, Lucien doesn’t agree with me. However, I did what needed to be done. What he refused to do.
I have to protect her like I had to protect him. He thinks I don’t know what he wants. I’ve known for a while now.
He craves normalcy and family life, but he’s not ready. He can’t take care of a family, of her. Not like I can.