by Tiya Rayne
The door opens and three Deacons and five armed guards walk into the room with their guns aimed at us.
Beast takes a step away from his bag and folds his arms on his chest. “Did you knock?” his words are calmly spoken, but that means shit when it comes to Beast.
“Your time is up. We’re here to escort you off the premises,” the Deacon in front says. He speaks boldly, but the shaking in his hands displays his fear.
“Did. You. Knock?”
I smile as I watch the armed guards look around nervously. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Beast in action. He is the only brother we have who outdoes Seth in brutality.
Beast takes a step forward and all guns swing to him. That’s why they’re here anyway. Priest stands.
“Down, Beast. We were leaving anyway.”
I follow Priest out, but not before smirking at the others who entered the room. They have no idea how much Priest saved them. Pope would send them down here to tell us, he would never try to enter Beast’s room.
As soon as we are outside the Church building, Priest swings around to face me. “I told you to leave it alone for now. How could you allow this?”
I knew this conversation was coming. I run my fingers through my hair.
“I tried.”
“You tried?” he repeats.
“He threatened me, all right. He came after me again. Seth was only defending me.”
Priest squints his eyes and takes a step back. “Defending you? Isn’t that why you ended up here in the first place?”
I glare at him. He knows fucking well not to bring that shit up.
“Real low blow, Priest.”
“No, what’s low, is walking into that bullshit meeting today and learning one of my boys is going to stay locked down like a fucking animal, while another can’t do what I ask. I expect the disobedience from Seth, but not you.”
“Oh, why?” My tone belies my anger and frustration. “Because I’m the docile one. The meek one who follows directions without asking. The expendable twin?”
“No,” Priest barks. “Because you’re the one in fucking control.” I look away from his heated gaze. “This thing between you and your brother is getting old. Especially now with all this shit going on. They’re trying to break us up, do you not see that?”
“I see it,” I shout.
“Then what are you hiding from me?”
My body goes rigid as I stare back into his silver eyes. Ones that belong to the man who over the years has guided me like a father figure. Priest is my family, the only one I’ve ever had, but I can’t tell him this.
“Nothing.”
He glowers back at me. Although he isn’t speaking, I know he has more to say. He nods his head and turns away.
“Don’t be in my presence again, unless you’re done with this bullshit.” He walks away, back to his car. I watch him until he’s gone.
I feel the rift between us growing. It started the day Hawk resigned, but it grew wider the day Angel died. We were all hurt for different reasons, but I could start to feel the difference that day. And it will only grow larger if I tell Priest about Malia. He will demand I let her go, and I don’t think I can.
Chapter 34
Enlighten Me
Malia
* * *
I apply the last few touches of my makeup, using my small compact mirror. Today was inventory day for the shop. I knew I’d be here late, so I told Lucien to pick me up from the bookstore.
I glance down at my dress. It’s a retro 50’s style. Its plum color is dark enough to be elegant, but not too formal. It shows the perfect amount of cleavage and the black belt helps to showcase my hourglass figure. My hair is swooped to the side and pinned to accent the look.
I feel beautiful.
Grabbing my shawl off the back of my desk chair, I turn off my office light to go wait for Lucien. A knock at the front door has me quickening my steps. The blinds are closed, so I can’t see out and no one can see in, but the lights from inside are visible from outside.
Unlocking the door, I pull it open with a big grin that immediately falls.
“Trenton, what are you doing here?”
He rakes his eyes up and down my body before returning to my face with a sultry smile.
“My god, Malia. You look stunning.” Once upon a time those words from his mouth would have meant something to me. They don’t anymore.
“I know, what do you want?”
“May I come in?”
I regard him for a moment, contemplating leaving him out in the cold. With a roll of my eyes, I step back and allow him to enter.
“Make it quick,” I warn, closing the door I head back to the counter to grab my purse where I left it.
“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.”
“I know,” I reply curtly, folding my arms across my chest.
“You haven’t answered my calls.”
“Yet here you are.”
He sighs, raking a hand through his dark blonde hair. “Come on, Lia. You act as if this was all my fault.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I take your dick out of your pants and fuck your gym friend?”
His face reddens and he looks away, tugging on his top button. “Well, you may not have taken out my cock, but you damn sure forced me to her.”
I jerk my head back as if he’d struck me. In a way, he does with those bullshit words.
“Are you serious right now?”
“If we’re going to be honest here, it’s because of the pressure you put on me to be perfect that I went to Veronica.”
I stand speechless for a moment, trying to figure out who the hell he thinks he’s fooling.
“I never pressured you.”
“Are you kidding?” he scoffs. “I was forever living in the shadow of your dead father and grandfather. Your dad used to do this or your grandfather did that. I could never love you as much as you assumed they loved your mother and grandmother. And by the way, I’ve met your grandmother and I highly doubt her husband tolerated her.”
I’m adult enough to admit my faults. I’m also mature enough to think before I speak. Yes, I want to tell him to go to hell.
I want to curse him out and say even if he felt pressured or like he wasn’t adding up to my expectations, he could have easily talked to me. Maybe we could’ve even sought counseling. The answer definitely wasn’t to fuck the nearest pussy who gave him the time of day.
However, instead of saying all that, I reply. “You’re right. I focused so hard on finding love like my Grams talked about, I never gave us room to learn each other.” I shake my head as I think about how ridiculous and messed up my ideas of love and marriage were. “I assumed marriage was about having this perfect man who got me.”
“I got you, Malia,” he says, stepping toward me. “We used to be perfect together when we were dating.”
I back away. “Not the way I envisioned perfect. You were supposed to understand my thoughts before I did. You were supposed to know my moods, know how to read me and do sweet things like bring me coffee when I’m too tired to get out of bed and too prideful to ask.
“You were supposed to be able to build china cabinets like my papa and fight to protect my honor like my daddy. You weren’t supposed to get mad when I burnt dinner because I was reading a book or get angry when I didn’t put the recycling on the side of the road on trash day. You were supposed to be perfect like the men in Grams’ stories.”
“Baby, that’s crazy and unrealistic,” Trenton says. “I’m not perfect and I never will be, because perfect people never exist. Not your father or your grandfather.”
“I know that,” I reply, shaking my head. “To expect anyone to be perfect is outrageous. It’s not real. People are flawed and they make mistakes. I was never looking for the perfect man, I only wanted someone to want me the same as I wanted them. To care about me enough, they wanted to give me their time and energy.
“Which is why I know what I wanted from you w
asn’t asking too much. It took me a while to figure that out. I wasn’t asking you to be perfect, I just wanted you to give a damn.
“Hell, at least you could have met me halfway because while you were in no way attempting to put me first, I was breaking my back to be the best wife to you. I hated that you could never put your work down for an hour to have dinner with me.”
“I never knew that.” He squints his eyes and crinkles his nose.
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t want to be a nag and ruin your day. I also never turned you down for sex, despite being tired or not in the mood sometimes. I didn’t tell you that all my life I’ve wanted to be a mother so your desire to not have kids wasn’t in my plans. Loving you was exhausting, and love shouldn’t feel that way.”
“You’re right.” He reaches out and takes my hand, clutching it in his. “I know better now. I understand I didn’t love you right, but now we have both changed, we can give us another try.”
Once upon a time, I loved this man. He was my world, but my world has gotten bigger. I shake my head and step away, pulling my hand from his grasp.
“Our second chance died the moment you fucked another woman.” His shoulders slump at my words and his arms hang loosely at his sides.
“You see, I love myself too much to ever deal with the mental bull crap that will come with taking you back. I’ll always doubt you and I’ll never trust you again. Besides, your actions made me question myself. My self-esteem was hard earned and baby, I won’t risk that for anyone.”
I no longer seek perfection in a man, but loyalty is a must.
“So that’s it, you’re going to throw away a seven-year relationship?” he asks as if it’s hard to believe.
“No, you threw it away when you went between the thighs of another woman.”
He narrows his blues eyes before looking away from me. “You haven’t learned anything,” he sneers. “I feel sorry for this next man. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into.”
“Well, please enlighten me.”
Trenton and I both turn to find Lucien standing at my door. His dark blue sports coat is buttoned, showing off only pieces of his striped dress shirt underneath. His signature dark brown casual slacks fit his thighs and legs perfectly. And to top off his look, he’s wearing his favorite square framed glasses.
Lucien has his own style and I love it. To others, it might look a little nerdy. I think it shows off his self-assurance and his sexiness.
Trenton looks at me then back to Lucien, before turning back to me. I can tell from the mirth in his eyes, he definitely thinks more along the nerdy line.
“This is the guy you’re going out with?” He looks at Lucien once again and then laughs.
“What’s so fucking funny?” I ask.
“Oh come on, Malia? This guy is supposed to be my competition? First that fucked up kid and now this?”
“I know you’re not talking about my daughter?” My words are overshadowed by Lucien’s response.
“What did you say?” It isn’t what he says, it’s the way he says it. It has this cold calculated tone that if I wasn’t looking directly at him, I would have sworn this was Seth and not Lucien.
Turning fully to Luc with the cocky assuredness of a meat head, Trenton says, “I said, you are no competition for me. Crawl back to whatever dorky book club you met her at and find you another woman.”
Silence is Lucien’s response. He examines Trenton with his hands tucked in his front pocket. He shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly before opening them again.
“You must be the ex?” Lucien walks up to the counter where we are standing, unbuttoning his coat jacket as he moves. “I apologize, today has been a bad day for me.” He stops in front of Trenton, tugging at the sleeve of his button up. “I am usually the more levelheaded one out of my brother and I, but today I don’t have it in me.”
“Baby, what the fuck is he talking about?”
The last word comes out as a choking sound. In the time it took me to blink, Lucien has punched Trenton in the throat, spun him around and slammed his head onto my countertop. Trenton is now on the floor of my shop, sputtering and whimpering.
“Not only have you disrespected me, but you insulted my girlfriend and her daughter.” Lucien squats down, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re lucky, because I respect Malia, I won’t take you to church, but if you cross my path again, I will bless you.”
Lucien stands up straight. I’ve never been so turned on in all my life. I don’t even know what he’s talking about, but oh my goodness, the way he delivers the words has my nipples tightening behind this lacy strapless bra.
It’s not like I didn’t know he can fight. The night those assholes approached us in the park he was badass, but I have to admit seeing him take down my ex so thoroughly is so fucking hot.
“He attacked me. Call the police,” Trenton commands as he slowly gets to his feet. Sad, all the time he spends in the gym chasing the perfect body and he went down as easily as Tequila on a girls’ night out.
“You started with him,” I point out.
“You’re defending him?”
Is he serious?
“You have to the count of three to get out of my sight. One.”
Trenton doesn’t give him time to get past one. He quickly rushes out of the store. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move so fast.
I laugh as I follow him and turn the latch. When I turn back to Lucien, I realize he isn’t laughing at all. In fact, he’s pacing the floor, running his fingers through his hair and tugging at the ends.
“Hey. Hey,” I call out as I approach him. When he looks at me, he doesn’t seem as confident as the man who just stood up for me. “Luc, what’s wrong?”
He shakes his head backing away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so weak.” This time when he yanks his hair, he covers his face with his elbows.
I’m not sure what’s going on or what he’s battling, but he did say he was having a bad day. Maybe he and Seth got into it again. I pull his arms down so I can see his face. His gaze runs from mine.
“Talk to me.”
His shoulders slump and he exhales before looking down at me. “Tonight isn’t a good night. I don’t think I can deal with going out.”
I huff a breath, feeling a little dismay, and place my hands down by my sides and look at my feet. I don’t argue. He has a right to stay home. Hopefully, I can keep the disappointment off my face.
“Um, okay. We can reschedule.”
He grabs my hand with one of his and uses the other to lift my chin to look in his eyes. “I said I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t say I didn’t want to be with you tonight.”
My cheeks burn from my blush. “You want to stay in with me tonight?”
“Yes. Just me and you.”
I nod. “I know the perfect spot.”
Chapter 35
You Have Me
Malia
* * *
“This is your place of peace?” Lucien asks as we stand in the attic space of my store.
“When I bought the store, there was an older man living up here. I had planned on only using the lower two levels, since he still had time on his lease. A year and a half later he got sick and died in the hospital. After his family removed all of his stuff, I came up here and found this little haven.”
It doesn’t look like much. It’s fully finished with hardwood floors and wood paneled walls. Exposed beam ceilings make the dark space quiet and cozy even though it runs the entire length of my store. The best part to me is the large circular stained-glass window. The medieval pattern is beautiful with its kaleidoscope colors. Before Emory, I would grab a book and sit down between the large bookshelves, right in front of the window and read.
“Was it because of the window?” Lucien points to the glass feature in question.
“Yep,” I reply. “Grams and Tiana think it’s creepy up here, but I love it.”
&n
bsp; I look around and smile at the neatly organized books, the shelves filled with old forgotten titles.
“I think it’s perfect.” I look over at him and I can tell he sees the same thing I see.
“You can place the blanket here.”
He unfolds the big plush blanket right down in front of the window between my shelves of old romance novels. I put down the to-go bags from the Chinese restaurant a few blocks away and then take a seat. Lucien takes off his jacket and tosses it down before sitting in front of me.
Pulling out our orders, we dive into our food in a peaceful quiet. It isn’t until I’ve had a few bites of my orange chicken, I get the nerve to ask my question.
“Do you want to talk about what happened today?”
He stops eating and looks up from his box of Lo Mein. Placing the box down, he wipes his mouth with a napkin before speaking.
“Mostly job stuff.” He looks away then back to me. “I also had a bit of an argument with Priest.”
“What was the argument about?” I place my food down and wipe my hands, giving him my undivided attention.
“Control,” he mutters. “You ever wanted something so bad, something you shouldn’t have, but you can’t let it go?”
I think for a moment about his question. Yes, I’ve had cakes I knew I would regret the next swimsuit season or stayed up late at night reading books, knowing I would regret it the next day at work. However, looking at him and hearing the desperation in his voice, I know he’s talking about something more serious than a few pounds and sleepless nights.
“No,” I answer honestly.
“I have issues with control. I can never not be in control. Losing it can cost me a lot.”
“I don’t understand.”
He seems all over the place right now. I don’t know how this relates to his boss or the thing he wants so badly. He runs a hand through his hair as he leans his head back on the bookshelf behind him.
“Not only am I responsible for me, I have to take responsibility for my brother as well. That means, I don’t get to mess up or not think. I have to be on alert all the time.